How do I get a body like Joe Rogan?

How do I get a body like Joe Rogan?

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youtube.com/watch?v=22GjkJw0WXk
youtube.com/watch?v=rwwOn8ManNU
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THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO PLUG IN YOUR BLENDERS, HEAT UP YOUR FLOTATION TANKS TO SKIN TEMP (35.5*C)

THE WEED HAS BEEN LIT AND IT'S TIME TO SLAM YOUR KALE SHAKES, TAKE A TOKE & MARK OFF YOUR CHECKLIST

TO POP YOUR:

ALPHA BRAIN
SHROOMTECH
KRILL & MCT OIL
PRIMATE CARE PILLS

youtube.com/watch?v=22GjkJw0WXk YOUR FEAR FACTOR THEME SONG ALARM BLASTS THROUGH YOUR HOUSE

>YOU INSTINCTIVELY JUMP INTO YOUR HOMEMADE OCTAGON, FITTED WITH BATTLE-ROPES AND A "WRECKING BALL" STYLE CHIMP KETTLEBELL ACTION COURSE

>AFTER YOUR INTENSE WORKOUT YOU CALL OVER BRIAN REDBAN USING TING BEFORE GETTING INTO YOUR ISOLATION SENSORY DEPRIVATION FLOTATION TANK AND PACKING YOUR MOUTH TO THE BRIM WITH POT BROWNIES FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS BY COCONUT WATER ENEMAS JUST AS THE DMT KICKS IN AS YOU LISTEN TO DUNCAN TRUSSEL AND GRAHAM HANCOCK HYPOTHESIZE THAT THE PYRAMIDS = ALIENS AND THE ARK OF THE COVENANT IS HIDDEN IN UGANDA

DUDE BOOOOM LMAO

DUDE KETTLEBELLS LITERALLY ENCRUSTED WITH WEED AND DUNKED IN MCT OIL AND THROWN OFF BUILDINGS FEAR FACTOR STYLE

>"BRENDAN SCHAUB JUST END IT ALL, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FIGHTER AND I HATE YOU, BUT COME BACK ON THE PODCAST SO I CAN BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER AGAIN AND REDUCE YOU TO TEARS"

>"BRENDAN "FRASER" "FUCK MY SHIT UP" SCHAUB, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. YOUR CAREER IS OVER. IT'S TIME FOR THE SMITH AND WESSON RETIREMENT PLAN"

Joe Rogan, 2015

>YOU ARE NOW PICTURING JOE ROGAN NAKED IN A FLOTATION TANK WITH A MOUTH FULL OF POT BROWNIES TRIPPING

use your kettlebells bro

Literally who?

Be a manlet and take roids.

work out 3 hours a day and train with the best

TRT

Hit puberty twice:
youtube.com/watch?v=rwwOn8ManNU

God his standup is awful

>he'll never do Newsradio again
feels so fucking bad

you gotta eat big

>people look different 23 years later
Shocking development

alfa bran, KETTLEBALLZ, oatz

aaaand thread derailed

It clearly wasnt. Youre clearly a faggot tho

say no more

HGH and kettlebells

smoke weed

no u

Loose 11 inches

>Newsradio
That reminds me; whatever happened to that Phil Hartman guy?
He was great! :D

Train in UFC fighting.

Why hasn't heem been banished to /asp/ yet? You guys are just as autistic as man drama fans. At least you follow containment procedure but still fill a thread in 30 minutes with shit memes and gibberish.

You may remember him from such tv specials like America's Favorite Funeral.

Literally nobody watches apehoop

apehoop makes mma's viewership look like a pbs channel at 10am

>American Idol is the greatest television show of all time