Aw shit son...

Aw shit son, someone just broke into your house with intent to kill you! The object to your left is what you use to defend yourself. How fucked are you?

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Looks like my girlfriend's getting ded

That motherfucker is getting a beat down by me swinging a cat

Salt packet from mcdonalds, if I get the fucker in the eyes I stand a chance.

Granola bar wrapper

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looks like ill have to take that bottle of water, smash it and use the fractured rest to stab him off

Hot tea
2nd degree burns bitch hope it was worth it
Probably was.

Fucking wall. I will just beat the shit out of him.

my headphones

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An empty plastic bottle or a box of tissues fuck

My Cell phone...
Dialing 911 as I type this.

hot tea
nigga gonna lose his eyes tonight

a mirror
looks like he's getting 7 years of bad luck

Cup o' tea

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a McFlurry cup

I'm going to offer him a toke?

A fucking lego X-Wing, I'm very fucked.

How possible is it to choke someone out with a cell phone charger?

i welcome and ask if they want tea before the deal

nice trips n' dubs

>tfw no lego xwing
I only have duplo.

My Bic will save me from any nigger cracker boi

A half-full cum bottle.

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i think i'll be okay.

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That kitty looks deadly

A small boy approx 8 years old

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A shit and blood covered dildo

My sisters dirty undergarments....

>broke into your house with intent to kill you
why? am I a corrupt politician?
whatever. I have a keyboard. a yamaha, not a typing keyboard. I'll probably be fine. I'll play my latest tune and the perp will fall in love with me.

Photo with timestamp

I am so fucked, all I have is a pillow. Gonna have to hit that fucker really hard with it.

>my back door
I literally just leave.
Can't kill me if I'm not here, faggot.

just wait til he falls asleep and smother him.

my cellphone. theres a knife to my right...

My friend David is being used as a bludgeon, I guess

Is it December 26? No, so get fucked. Shit ain't ready yet.

A relatively nice black silk tie, well i guess its time to strangle a fucker. Might as well do it in style

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My bed, i guess im gonna get raped first...

I got a lamp

I like my chances

Steel 2 part weight bar, detach and swing

ill break my laptop over his head but then i wont have a laptop so pretty fucked either way

The "object" to my left is a squirrel. I think we're gonna be ok. Bandit can tear a motherfucker up.

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50lb dumbbell. I'll be fine.

my Pineng powerbank
I'll just throw it at him and then spear him to the ground

My D.Va body pillow

A roll of toilet paper.
It's okay though.
Didn't want to live anyway.

just use some first. you'll be fine.

If they make it past the dogs. They deserve whatever they want. But it's a big IF there.

Is your gun named Holden?

I distract him with Sup Forums on my Galaxy Notepad!

TOILET PAPER BOIS LETS GO

An orange juice bottle that i've been spitting into.

>tfw theres a gun to my right

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Pringles Lid :(

gun my nigga