ITT times when we were alpha as fuck, I'll start

ITT times when we were alpha as fuck, I'll start

>be stroking neighbor's cat
>fucking bitch animal scratches me
>kick the little fucker
>run inside
>see neighbor later
>she tells me they had to have the cat euthanized
>thinks a car hit it
>lol fatality
>flawless victory
>alpha
>as
>fuck

Attached: alpha as fuck.png (843x635, 730K)

good.dont take shit from anyone

I'm still waiting for you to start.

all i see is a fucking cockwomble

Sir, this made me laugh

real alpha to kick a small animal for a scratch.
hope you didnt hurt your lil foot

Neighbor friend from school was at my house and kicked my cat because he's allergic to them so I fingered their dog a few times.

>got scratched
>flawless victory

nah. youre a bitch

Prefacing this with am nog, but an older bully came to my shitty apt to find my big bro and beat him up. I took one of those orange mason bricks and clocked him straight in the forehead.

Or the time when a group of asshats stole my bros bike so I kamikaze smashed into them coming the other way so we could get it back

I've got like, dozens but will stop here

>be me
>lazy relaxed nerd
>go to jail over kinky sex in high school
>a year and a half in and black kid won't stay out of my face
>start making shank in my cell
>cellmate asks if he needs to be worried
>tells him the only shank he needs to be worried about is the meat shank
>he runs out of our cell
>a few minutes later 7 foot tall Nazi guy comes up to my cell and asks what's going on
>tell him I'm going to take care of business
>he asks me nicely to flush the shank and says he'll talk to the black kid about minding his space
>mfw a white supremacist talked me down from stabbing a black guy.

From 15 to 21 I was on a string of dating girl A and sleeping with girl B, girl B always knows I'm in a relationship. Dump girl A for girl B, she becomes new girl A. Knows I wont cheat on her because "we're a special case where me cheating was okay because we love each other". New girl B comes along. Cycled through about 8 chicks like that, constantly going back to fuck a previous A but never dating her again.

Seriously, if you give them that tiny amount of emotional attention they want girls will do anything. Got my step sister to let me fuck her ass. Highschool friend as a fuck buddy completely outside the cycle. Now I wish I had made one of those relationships work but oh well.

nice pls more stories of death and tortured cats pls !
bonus for wemb / gif / jpg

i trust in you Sup Forums

>be me
>get out of bed
>download porn
>cum 12 times in one day to various bitches getting gangbanged
>those bitches got rekt
>alpha as fuck

I saw Ryan Gosling at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical intettference,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Attached: RG.png (568x622, 702K)

>Grow up half retarded (the smart kind of retarded, not that it's important) and completely self-absorbed.
>Walking to class in HS.
>Girl pops out from out of sight behind vending machine that I was walking past.
>"You're cute!"
>I say "Thanks." and walk away.
>Never gave it another thought until years later when I was starved for pussy.
>She was crazy as fuck, got pregnant shortly after that, and she's a cop, now.
>Dodged a bullet by being socially maladjusted.
>Alpha as fuck.
You didn't need the preface. I would have assumed so from the beginning based on context. Thanks, though. I grew up in an affluent area of mostly white people. More stories would be appreciated.

Gomenasai, my name is Ken-Sama.

I’m a 27 year old American Otaku (Anime fan for you gaijins). I draw Anime and Manga on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior Japanese games. (Disgaea, Final Fantasy, Persona series)

I train with my Katana every day, this superior weapon can cut clean through steel because it is folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my sword license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Japanese fluently, both Kanji and the Osaka dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Japanese history and their bushido code, which I follow 100%

When I get my Japanese visa, I am moving to Tokyo to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Studio Ghibli or a game designer!

I own several kimonos, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Japan, so I can fit in easier. I bow to my elders and seniors and speak Japanese as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in Japan!

Attached: Ken desu.jpg (600x800, 63K)

>so I fingered their dog a few times.
logical response
alpha as fuck, indeed

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi.

I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft

and enjoying superior American pastimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks)

I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly

superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I

follow 100%

When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler

for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil!

I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my

elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in America!

Attached: rawhide.jpg (640x511, 88K)

>Kicked a small being several times smaller than him
> Cat died
> Hurr hurr alpha on b/

This is so sad and pitiful i don't even want to insult you.

Pasta is old

I'M KOREAN
SON OF A BITCH AMERICAN
AMERICAN IS PIG
DO YOU WANT A HAMBURGER?
DO YOU WANT A PIZZA?
AMERICAN IS PIG DISGUSTING
GEORGE WALKER BUSH IS A MURDERER
FUCKING USA

Attached: n.jpg (271x239, 15K)

It's not a flawless victory if he got scratched dumbass

this bait is of inferior quality

>in this thread
>points out pasta
>ignores OP

B8/10 terrible troll being alpha for killing a cat lol

you did it anyway
nice