Tl;dr the bitch cheated but keeps some valuable things that belong to me(my pc, a very expensive hand watch and some expensive tools). I wanna wreck her car ingognito.
What's the best way to screw someones car? Cut her tires? insert nails at her tires to destroy the tire once she leavs? give me some ideeas
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I'd focus more on getting your stuff.
But bologna peels off paint and salt in the gas tank will fuck it up plenty
cut the brake lines
ofc i wanna get my things back. But she kept post-phoning the day "i can come" and get them for 2 weeks now.
Today she told me she feels sick and bla bla. I'm preparing for the version where she doesn't give them back.
Bitch is fucking crazy and I mean it. Has nar-BPD and she is using my stuff to keep me clining or some shit
buy a high powered sniper airsoft gun
snipe her windows out my dude
give me something cheaper man..i wanna start with slashing her tires.
Is there a way to ruin the door keyhole aswell? something i can fill it with?
The salt in gas tank sounds nice. but i must open the gas tankf or that
>high powered sniper airsoft gun
>snipe her windows out
>high powered airsoft
The immaturity in this one strong is
FFS grow up. Go make an appointment to get your stuff. If she comes up with an excuse, pay a lawyer to draft a letter to her and frighten the bitch into compliance.
Then go get some maturity, rather than planning to mess with her stuff (which puts you even more legally in the wrong)
If you live in a warm climate get a hypo full of milk and squirt it into the car on the seats and rugs. After a while it'll smell like puke and hard to get rid of. Then again you could always use shit or piss.
Good lord, the play group really is out in force. Isn't it time for your afternoon nap or something? You're clearly getting tired and fractious.
I don't think you understand. She is keeping some very valuable things. I can't reason with her. I've tried "apointments" for a month. A lawyer won't do shit to help me+ I'm a student. I barely have money to live right now
Freeze some peepee on a plate and then slide the frozen peepee under her door
You're retraded for wanting to slash tires, that's how you go to jail.
Superglue in the keyhole.
Sugar in the gas tank.
Milk in the vents (douse her air filter)
Carefully position something metal, like a wrench, on her battery in the hopes that it'll hit a contact and discharge, killing her battery.
No u
Oh, I think I do understand. However you look at it, you're immature and are plotting revenge by creating criminal damage, which won't get your stuff back.
That, or you're a third-rate troll. A lawyer would help. Which country are you in?
Burn her house down and say it wasnt you
Expanding PU foam in the exhaust.
Cops would help you get your shit back.
go to Walmart and drop $5 on a magnesium firestarter. if shes continues to dick your around, put it on her hood and put a propane torch to it until it lights, then run away or watch from a distance as it melts a hole all the way through her engine block.
bonus points if she's uninsured.
you could also be more subtle and water down her coolant, overfill her oil tank, or drain her oil and walk away. that bitch probably won't think anything of it until her shit seizes up and she has to sell your shit to pony up $2K to fix it.
Take a screwdriver and just fuck it hard into her locks (car, house, whatever), and make sure to fuck the locks up properly. It will look like someone tried to break in but she will have to replace it
It depends on if you're trying to get caught or not. Nails would work fine, but any piece of glass from a broken bottle would do the trick too.
Still, you're better off just getting your stuff back and not being a bitch. The idea with the milk is probably the best way to go, since it'll absolutely suck for her for weeks but you'll likely never get caught.
Just go to her fucking house dude
cut brake line from under the car (some models allow that)
clog the exhaust pipe with black material
such things
This, also peepee on her door and make sure it runs through the crack under her door
That's a good way to get the cops against you, rather than with you. Especially as the man, they'll likely take her side in a trespassing situation. Make a list of the shit she has of yours, OP. File a report of theft with the local PD.
If you're lucky, you might snag a cop escort to let you get your shit back in a legal manner. If not, you could always threaten to take her ass to small-claims court.
Take a huge dump on her car and blame it on the cat
Or take a huge dump on her cat and blame it on the car
OP here.
I will make a list and ask the cops to help me. An escort would be a great adition. If I go alone there is ahuge chance she will stab herself then call the cops on me, and I'm not joking
don't cut her brakes, she'll notice immediately and honestly all these ideas are too deliberate and spiteful to stay incognito.
If you really wanna fuckwith her, drain her oil out until it's a thinner stream, so don't drain entirely, her camshaft will sieze the engine after several miles and she won't have any fucking clue it was malicious.
His uncle's friend totally knows an ex-SEAL who kills people with his high powered sniper airsoft gun.
Why the fuck do you have very valuable things yet barely enough money to live?
Pour sugar in her gas tank
Be a man. Kick her fucking door in, take your shit, and fuck her in the ass before you leave.
This really fucks the engine up no way to fix it
The first thing she sells to fix her car, is your shit.
Hell, you can even mention that to the cops. Tell them something like how she's threatened self-harm, keeping you from retrieving your stuff. That might get them more interested in helping you sort this shit out.
But you do any of the other crap, and it's going to be pretty fuckin obvious it was you. "She has my stuff" will not be a valid defense for vandalism/destruction of property when they come after your ass, and she'll laugh that shit up afterwards and count it as a win. Bitches WANT you to get crazy and do something stupid.
pour a gunpowder in gas tank to fuck shit up
This
This
Or just put some sugar in her gas tank
Witnesses are always good for such matters. Buy a go pro or some other cam too.
Pretty much this You'll get caught doing most of the above and that will give her legal authority which will duck you up long term.
>duck you up
Phone poster?
I'm actually using a tablet. I have a decent tower games and work but don't really feel like using it now.
OP is a fag
lets watch this in stead
youtube.com
Ah. The sweet freedom from women sure is great. No worries about them inevitably cheating and or acting like a perfect Gods gift cunt. Why anyone voluntarily does this to themselves after high school shocks me.
How fucking old are you?
Kill yourself
Op, don't be a nigger about this. Take her to court or file a theft report with the police like a functioning member of society.
this
Underrated
>leaving genetic evidence
>t. Super virgin
No matter what happens to her, you will be the first suspect. Any retard knows that.
spray paint "PEDO" on her car
first suspect TODAY.
OP needs to bide his time. Put his bitterness in a box to be unlocked ten years from now when no one will suspect him of torching her car
>No worries about them inevitably cheating and or acting like a perfect Gods
Have you ever tried dating one that wasn't a self centered cunt? Plenty exist if you aren't a lazy autist.
There's nothing you can do to her car that wouldn't look insane, but if you really want to be crazy, load up a 40oz bottle with half gasoline and half oil, stuf the top witha ton of news paper or an oily rag, light the rag and toss the bottle. For added effect, you can use hand sanitizer to make it burn for hours. I still think you should just do what user above said and file a court claim, let the police know or something lawful. Good luck crazy OP.
You have a few options.
1) Pretend to have made a huge mistake and say you want to be with her again. At the safest opportunity leave with your shit. Get a restraining order.
2) Get a lawyer, scare her like other anons have said and do this whole thing like a pussy bitch, hiding behind a lawyer.
3) Fuck over her car, bologna on paint, salt/suger in gas, slash 3 tires (slash 4 and insurance will cover), etc. If you do this be sure to not leave finger prints and have an alibi.
I wrote this whole response about wheather the police should really be worried about a cuck and a cunt fighting over a PC, then I realized OP is considering a multitude of crimes against the bitch and asking us for advice. Maybe OP is the badguy here.
Originalio!
Newfags baiting hard! Great job OP
Underrated post
Just go place some nails under 3 of her tires so when she drives off she impales them herself
well played sir