Today (March 18th) is my 36th birthday. I'm 36 yet still live with my mom, don't have a gf, and make 12...

Today (March 18th) is my 36th birthday. I'm 36 yet still live with my mom, don't have a gf, and make 12.75/hr at a shitty warehouse job.

Is there any hope for me?

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No, just become an hero.

No, just become an hero.

Stop drinking, get your shit together and there is a possibility. You should focus on your priorities.

My cardiologist says the same. What if I only drink once a week?

hope for what? depends on what you want.

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Make your mom your girlfriend.

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Just to live a normal life with a loving wife that will accompany me wherever I go.

nope

she turns 70 on Wednesday, you sick fuck

ok well first off that is not normal. there is no such thing as normal. maybe stop whining and idealizing bullshit in your head. you can definitely attain what you want because those are not very high goals.

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Stop drinking
Join gym
Stop being fat
Get some nice clothes
Become pussy slayer level 9000
Find an attractive single mother to move in with and breed so you're no longer a stay at home faggot.
You could achieve this within a year easily

Wrong answer

Happy Bday you look like shit for 36 stop drinking and get some skills nigger

So, you're saying that I could have a female companion to accompany me to Wildwood this summer?

I get you up until the single mother part.

I'm no stepdad

If you aren't angry as fuck at your circumstances, then nah bro. Prioritize what you want.
But I can't say shit because I just now started trying to get my life together (25). Going to school but hate my job the monotony of it. Keep thinking about killing myself because I'm an emotionally turbulent person. But I gotta finish what I started. Living with my parents can't be the end.

i don't know what that is or if you can stop being a loser that fast. buy don't be afraid of going places yourself. that's how growth happens, and then you'll meet people and be less of a dork

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What if you don't drink at all?

Yea, make a decent looking resume and apply to 1 position after work every day. Every week if your fucking lazy. Pick places to apply even if you aren't sure that you'd be interviewed. Go for a wide range of shit. Like mechanical, office, animals, etc. Apply for positions slightly out of your confidence zone. When you get interviews, go. You can always just say no to a shitty sounding job.

After you find a gig with a bump in pay, you can stand on your own. Take care of yourself. Make small positive changes to your world. Do things to make your self happy, not anyone else.

Once you get a grip on things you want to do, and start going new places, women just sort of pop up. Suddenly the cute clerk at your new job is talking to you daily or you meet someone in a part of town you never went to before.

Catch my drift?

Kek fatherfucker

Go for it, dude. A 70 yr. old is still probably better than the trash I attract.

get a job in the trades, lots of them offer on the job training and they make good money

SHE'S MY MOM

NO

Yes at the end of the day you’re still white.

what shit you smoking, this ain't 1980 son

Nigger you're 36
Not being a step dad is going to make your chances of finding a female around zero.

I mean youre no anything rn so stepdad sounds pretty cool if you wanna have kids your window is prob 25-40 realistically. Unless you dont want kids then fuck meeting a single mother

Quit Drinking
Get some education in anything
Do whatever it takes to save at least 65% of your income

If you can do this, you'll eventually land a better job

NO. If any kids are eventually involved the will be my offspring, not any other.

>once a week
That's pretty low. Have you considered more?

Assuming you are a garden variety alcoholic who still smokes weed daily, you need to quit now.
Stop the cigarettes too.

Save money
Stay with mom
You cant afford a girlfriend

Once you quit all your vices, your life will be alot more manageable.

Then you can easily get a better job and maybe move out.

I'm already drinking four times a week on average

Still... pretty low by my standards.

you could be doing a lot worse. You could be married to a bitch you hate and stuck in a shitty warehouse job like most of us

Stopped weed six years ago

No cigarettes now, only vape

itt: NEET cucks giving other NEETs advice.

OK, good direction.
You cant afford the vape tho
You cant afford beer either

are you debt free?

OP here, I'm not a NEET. I work full time.

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You better put down that fucking beer and get your fat ass down the gym then slayer

I have a few medical bills to pay off

Have you tried suicide yet?

this

>don't have a gf

Me either. Not anymore. You're lucky. Mine bled me dry, and I had to put up with her crazy bipolar horseshit as well as her psycho ex-bf/pretend-daddy (he's like 20 years older than her), and it left me feeling broken and dead inside. She got me hooked on meth. I'll take my share of the blame on that one, because I made the decision to ever do it. On the other hand we were supposedly cleaning up together, except she kept talking me into buying us more dope, and then used it as a weapon against me. She made sure to inform my dad and stepmom that I was a meth head and needed rehab because she knew I wanted to clean up without them finding out how bad I was at the time.

I nearly blew my brains out on Christmas day because of the experience. Not just her though, but also because my dad and stepmom didn't come visit like we were planning, and instead they separated, and my dad called me up to inform me that I'd ruined his life. My gf gave me exactly five minutes of her time that day, just to tell me that my problems aren't her problem. Fuck romantic love, and fuck girlfriends.

do you have any savings?
if so, how much?

Come to the Philippines

Looks aren't everything you shallow cunt.

You're 36 and on Sup Forums bud. You struck out on life a long time ago

You can join some trade and make more. Plumbers start off with $15 an hour and you work your way up. You're so old so by the time you retire you might not make it to $25, idk.

Top Kek user.

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hello be my gay bf pls thx

Thought about it. If I go all the way up in my stockpicker youtube.com/watch?v=CNp_2VZlE_c and make my tether into a noose.

Yeah, have thought about it

m.youtube.com/watch?v=zvOy8GyB_cs

>stop drinking
stopped reading there. a lot of virgins in here are telling you to stop drinking. if drinking was an issue, you would announce it. a lot of anime/gamer virgins in here can't handle a shot of Bud Light. Don't listen to those faggots. If you're not happy enough, you'll do something about it. Maybe not this year or next year, but it'll eventually happen. That's all I can say. We all will just go with the flow no matter what. Girlfriends? Shit, they'll come when you least expect it. That's half good / half shitty. Kek.

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I'm 40 and on Sup Forums and I'm doing alright. What's your point?

No, but at least the only girl you've ever loved isn't dead.

Beer is a lot of calories and this guys overweight.

The fuck you are. If you're over 30, hell probably over 25 and on Sup Forums you fucked up somewhere.Let's be real: Sup Forums is cancer at best, and social or professional suicide at worst. One semi-tech literate co-worker hears you browse a site full of loli lewds and dick pics and any chance you ever had of getting to a position of any respect or relevance is out the fuckin window bud.

Fucking this.
You 20-something faggots act like you live a pure life, but you're vacuous and whiny.

how do you know, are you his doctor?

Im 36 and doing around 300k a year with bonuses, have a wife and 2 kids, i dont know what the fuck he thinks either. And yes, im happy.

I mean, it's pretty easy, and I know a lot about this because it directly relates to my career.

Take a few days and visit several 'big box' stores. Walk around them, act like you are shopping, but make it convincing.

Just by chance you WILL find one with a decent liquid spill on the floor, especially if it is in a high traffic area on a weekend.

Slip in it, fall, land on the floor in an awkward way, and fucking stay there.

Stay on the floor and say your back and/or whatever body part hurts. Make it convincing. They will react and they will call an ambulance if you ask, You just need to make it seem like you are in a lot of pain. Get taken to a hospital and continue to act like you are in a lot of pain. They will diagnose you with SOMETHING relating to the fall. This is the most important part...follow up with another doctor like a day later and keep complaining. Make sure they have you do physical therapy as a result.

Make sure the store got your personal info when you fell. They legally have to reach out to you in about 48 hours. Then you get a lawyer. It will take a few months but you will easily get 20k-30k if you follow up with the physical therapy and just make sure that you act hurt. It literally doesn't even matter if you have any REAL injury.

You can rinse and repeat and do this at many stores, just make it all convincing and don't get sloppy.

How do I know? I'm the guy who writes the checks.

Buy pic related already

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>social or professional suicide
Wha...? Like, people on my street see my browser? And I don't go to Sup Forums at work. That's stupid. I can control myself.

no

25 year old virgin living with dad working a shitty job from home never had a relationship in my life and I'm pretty sure I don't deserve one.
it's surreal seeing my friends and family get married and have kids when they're my age or younger I still feel like I'm not old enough to be doing those things despite the fact that my dad literally was a year younger than me when I was born.
Feels like working and saving toward moving out decreases from the manchild aspect but I feel left out of life and nothing I do leads to any success.

You stop drinking and smoking and are you going to the gym? That's all that matters.

Lol, try saying that in SV. Sperglord CEO's all around. Jesus, Snapchat was a dickpic app and IPO'd at 29 BILLLION.

Wife gets bored, starts banging the milkman and wants an easy divorce out? Checks out the internet history one time that you forget to wipe it and bam. Divorced, half your shit taken and the other half tied up in court costs while she fucks every person you have professional ties to and tells them you spent your days looking at anime tiddy.

Kids turn into surly teens and get busted doing drugs, want to get some revenge on Dad for being a hypocrite? Same fucking thing, only this time they claim you did shit to them and you have to get put on a list because you were on the same page as trap threads and you get diagnosed with latent closeted homosexuality induced chomo syndrome.

Even if you are always vigilant, constantly covering your tracks and being careful, that in itself shows you know that being on this site makes you a fucking degenerate, and just below the surface you know it isn't healthy behavior for anyone, let alone someone cresting the peak of middle age.

Face it pal: you're fucked, either publicly or just because you're lying to yourself. We all are

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I don't drink besides once a month maybe and I don't smoke.
I want to start a diet but my shit pay and general laziness almost precludes me from maintaining one.
Working out is an option but most days I'm just tired af and want to sleep after work.

Wait, so I'm fucked if people know I visit Sup Forums? But, my wife and kids already know. That's how our new kitten got named (Yard Beef). My neighbors couldn't give a fuck what I do. I don't know what tracks I'm supposed to be hiding. And the milkman? When the fuck did you live?

holy shit there is no way ppl actually do that. this is insane

Don't forget the FBI and CalTrans with their porn networks.

do a backflip

The milkman is a colloquialism for any stranger your wife bangs when you're not home and you know it, so settle down there super chief.

And if your family actively knows about your internet habits, my point is the same just without them having to discover anything. It's still an easy piece of evidence for your wife to use against you if she ever gets bored, or your kids to blab to their friends about how their dad is cool because he hangs out with l33t hax0rz and it to get back to someone that matters.

I know for a fact that if I knew anybody in a position above me that was browsing Sup Forums, i'd leverage the shit out of that fact and get them either shitcanned or blackmail them until they wished they just listened to user and an hero'd years ago

Not user, but some people live like that.
I lived in apt once and they were re-doing the asphalt. As soon as they finished the speedbumps, this tweaker pulls out his wrinkly dolphin shorts and soiled tanktop, acts like he's going for his morning jog by doing circles in the parking lot, and "trips" on a speedbump. Went to mgt saying it wasn't painted and could've killed him and all this shit. Luckily, mgt was shady as fuck and told him to fuck off.

What kind of daycare do you work at where you can leverage Sup Forums into something beneficial? Nobody actually cares about browser history or any of that shit unless it's CP. The only position above you is your dad's.

In that case... no hope

Yep, once a month will do it. And maybe start smoking and then quit, just to rub it in other people's faces. Maybe say how much better your life is now. Aside from tweeting that you went to the gym (even if you didn't), you should be pretty much set for infinite success.

yes, what if ...

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at least you have a job
>same stats and no job for 9 years
>feels indifferent, man
but i feel okay knowing there is absolutely no hope

>i just have no motivation to move forward

If you think you can't convince someone with the capability to fire one of your co-workers that the fact that they frequent a site where pictures of naked anime school girls get posted not just once a day but in a steady stream, to the point that a loli thread is almost indelibly on the front page, is a liability, you are either dumb as a brick or complete incapable of convincing anyone of anything.

That'd be illegal bro

That is one Kafkaesque looking mother fucker

Again, don't go here at work. I'm not even sure if I can, since we have one of those net-nannies. And if I did, and got caught, it would be a meeting with the faggots in HR. That's all.

This works until a private investigator hired by the companies your are charging takes pictures of you walking around normally, then you get charged for fraud and you are fucked

I work for shitty Amazon for 13.25/hr looking hard for a better job and I am 37. I live at home with my parents and act as an IHSS worker for my disabled father. Life is fucked and most of us tried to pretend it gets better, it doesn't.

The hell it is. Go to HR and tell them "Hey uh, I overheard uh that uh Jim Bumblefuck might be looking at uh some disturbing stuff. I was just uh wondering what the proper procedure is for uh reporting that sort of uh thing?"

Even if Jim isn't browsing Sup Forums at work, HR has to check it out, and then it's just a matter of casually letting everyone you talk to know that Jim got investigated, and you heard something about a Sup Forums.

A warehouse as well*

>heard something about a Sup Forums
>thinks internets broadcast the webpage

Motherfucker do you think normies don't know that Sup Forums exists? It's 2018, Pepe just got voted president, someone somewhere in your HR knows the implications of someone being user

I hope you pull your rat-bastard lets get people fired routine on someone. Then it turns out the boss you rat to is also jerking it to loli threads on Sup Forums. Then they both lie and say they found cp on your work computer. And then your mom got scared And said, “You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.” I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought, “Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!” I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

Someday, when you enter the workforce, you'll realize that Sup Forums (or any other shit site) is not a death sentence. People have been busted at my place with porn before. Not that dealing with the HR twats is pleasant, but not too damning either. Fuck, those bitches sell weed at work and steal groceries anyways.

Daniel G.?

Ninety percent of people are stuck in low paying jobs. I do not know one person making that much. It's hard not to be down and out whenever you don't make enough money to pay your bills.

SES

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>No, just become an hero.
No, just become an hero.