Hey, Sup Forums, your friendly neighborhood surgeon here

Hey, Sup Forums, your friendly neighborhood surgeon here.

Ask me your medical questions. I usually get bored after a while, so get em in quick.

>Pic related, dis just what I do

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Other urls found in this thread:

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2772366/
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Fucking gout 8m not fat or black and have been tormented sconce Xmas. My question is there anything besides the allapyral for the rest of my life. And inflammation is it just a hormone or have you seen it ? My fucking elbow is killing me. Been in this boat since I was 25 36 now

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what is the strangest thing you have pulled out of someone?

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How often are the surgeons drunk/high while working?
Any trends in music surgeons like?

Also can you opperate on my depression?

have you seen or heard of any cases of:

necrotizing fascitis
necrotic sepsis
and like situations?

what were the outcomes?

I have a suspicion i have a brain parasite and have been using an isochronic tone rife sequence to self sound operate what feels like an internal gunshot wound cellulitis and cancer in the left side of my brain. My arm and legs feel like the venom symbiote is moving them involuntarily. I YouTubed a chink doctor Sherlock Holmes deducting it was a tapeworm and not a brain tumor in some related videos.

Does your knowledge of anatomy ever interfere with your cooking? such as carving a turkey or eating a steak?

what am i looking at

can your perform a lobotomy?

Anything basic I can do to myself for Punisher type self healing?

Are doctors hacks that just cut meat and let it heal?

Alcohol and fatty foods are triggers (as far as I remember, I never treat gout). Eat healthy and avoid triggers.

Pulled some interesting shit out of kids' noses, ears, and throats. Bits of carpet, washers, screws, etc. Nothing too goofy.

Operative drunk/high is a career ending move. I've only heard anecdotally about it.

Yes, occasional cases of nec fasc. I'm a head and neck surgeon, so usually nec fasc related to untreated dental infections.

I've seen a few patients die from it. Always a nasty fucking disease. Brush yo teef.

Not, it probably helps. I can carve and use a blade through tissue very well.

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Not OP, but I worked in a morgue for a little while, saw a lot (and did a lot) of cutting bodies up and shit like that. You ever smell a steak that's a little old? Not quite bad but close? Smells exactly the same as a body.

Have you ever done anything that you could have lost your license for? if so, what did you do?

THE most illegal and or banned thing in surgery? The surgeon world?

Besides tit implants.

How do I get a bigger cock

i hurt my hand. am i ok?

I'm a medical student and I'm interested in surgery (ortho or general surgery). My question is would you recommend going into surgery? Is it way more time consuming than being a doctor/specialist? That's my only concern about it

Know anything about meibumitis? More specifically, why it might spontaneously clear up, after months, from one day of extreme vomiting?

Simultaneous pectoralis major myocutaneous flap and deltopectoral fasciocutaneous flap elevation. Commonly used flaps in head and neck reconstruction. We flip tissue and skin and muscle from the chest up into the head and neck to recreate throat, tongue, skin, etc.

I can do the approach for one i.e. expose the facial skeleton and make the bone cuts so that the neurosurgeon can resect a skull base tumor (craniofacial resection).

Nope

Tit implants aren't illegal? Most illegal thing would be murdering patients? What is with your fucking questions you nut

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What was your worse fuck up while performing surgery?

Have you been paid by the illuminati to rape or kill anyone?

Ever have to pull a sex toy out of someone?
Ever find a parasite? Was it still alive? Were you expecting to find it or did it surprise you?
Worst smell in your line of work?

You're the guy posting gore. I have to live with a dirty bug I can't scratch off.

Protip being cut by a retard who does not know Brazilian jiu jitsu is scary.

not as yet , but i hope this

yes to all.
worst smell ? easy. dr. singh's breath

What does a broken rib look like from the inside

Do you prefer the photographic grays anatomy or the illustrated?

Also, do you hang up anatomy drawings on your wall as art?

I sneezed and my booger clogged an old man's left ventricle. But STFU about that, no one knows

do you think to your job when you're eating red meat ?

Actually, I prefer Hustler.

Another medfag here.

I once assisted in a urological emergency where a guy had a brocken pencil lead in his urethra.

And on a different occasion in med school i had a patient in my ward who had (an iliostoma) a poop bag because he tried to pull a vibrating dildo from his ass with some metal wire and laceraded the shit out of his ass. (That's what his case file said)
I took pity on the guy and insisted we write
Status post ass manipulation in erotic context
instead of
In Autoerotic context

Yes
Human's taste more like chicken, though

I've gotten into carotid artery before. I mean, it's not a "fuck up" because it was always possible and made more likely by difficult dissection, tumor stuck to artery, previous radiation, etc.

But getting into the common carotid artery and seeing blood hit the fucking ceiling is definitely an "oh fuck" moment.

Never a sex toy. I've irrigated dead bugs out of kid's ears and occasionally pulled dead bugs out bit by bit. Gross as shit, I hate it.

Worst smell? I don't know, nothing bothers me too much. Even nec fasc isn't so bad. Really bad rotten tumors can be bad.

Just a cracked bone? Not very dramatic.

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How to get rid of nasal polyps?

Like a busted pencil that maybe Fred Flintstone would write with

Does this turn you on?

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Stop picking your nose so much. If you must, wipe the boogers on a clean wall

Ever worked on a cervical spine fracture of something along that area

It doesn't not turn me on

no. sounds complicated and gay

have you ever sewn someone's dick to their nose? If not you should, I think it'd be an interesting experiment.

whats your favorite piece of medical equipment?

I think I got the attention deficit but I'm too scared to ask a doctor for help for fear of being labeled a drug seeker. What can I do? Pls help I can never get anyhting done.

I can see you next thursday at 9 a.m.
pls wear clean undies

Im not OP but modafinil

i case you real doctor. i feel like small worms are in my body. Not all times. But doctor say its a mental problem. (Looked at my blood screen and shit) i already took a bunch of albendazole.
In moment i just arrange with it becouse i think mental maybe the worms are good and eat all the shit in my body away. (like in the manga that name i forgot in moment)

But is there anything a doctor can do ?

pic unrelated

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Brocken bone literally looks like a brocken biscuit oozing yellow honey mixed with strawberry jam

The palm of my hand, when i tell you to turn your head and cough

i googled it . it was blade of the immortal ...

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Does it get the hose again if it doesn't put the lotion on its skin?

in some cases modafinil is effective but i find that more patients respond better to the older drugs, like fucketol. we would have to try a series of drugs though, and if that doesn't work, we'll punch you in the nuts every time you lose focus

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I sprained my wrist last October it won't heal I have a baby and job so I can't imobilize it long enough

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Look, I'm a doctor, ask me medical shit, ok ?

I have a painful circumcision scar with skin tunnel from an 'amateur' job that was patched up by emergency surgery 20 years ago. If I stretched the skin out, could I get it repaired, or should I just learn to live with it?

>Simultaneous pectoralis major myocutaneous >flap and deltopectoral fasciocutaneous flap >elevation. Commonly used flaps in head and >neck reconstruction. We flip tissue and skin >and muscle from the chest up into the head >and neck to recreate throat, tongue, skin, etc.

smart fag

It's your hand, bub. Only got two of them. Your call.

if you refrained from fapping for five fucking minutes, the thing might get a chance to heal

I don't understand anything you said

why is there so less blood on that big wound ?

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that's what you get for letting a jewish doctor near your pecker. Jewish doctors hate the work, they're only in it for the tips !

Ok does Salolithiasis in the parotid gland start like sand or does it form stones or residue that block the ducts straight away?
Do patients have any sensetion of the onset or is it awlays blocked when they show up

>>surgeon

is actually a pathologist assistant

Hey, i'm the freakin doctor here. stop trying to confuse these faggots

otolaryngologist here. pulled a queen chess piece out of some guys throat. dumbass slept with a fully set chessboard over his mobile home bed. a bump in the night and one piece fell right down the hatch

If you get stabbed in the abdomen, how much time do you have to seek aid before you're done for? Please consider best, "average", and worst possible scenarios.

Source: am afraid of knives

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No, but I think of cooking steak when I smell the electrocautery smoke.

Treatment of polyps is medical first. Using steroid sprays, saline irrigations, and Singulair by mouth. If the polyps are blocking everything off so the sprays can't even work, then starting with surgery to remove the polyps and open the sinuses is the next step.

No. I deal with fractures of the face (jaws, eye socket, cheek bones, etc). Never spine trauma.

Sometimes penetrating neck trauma (stabbedin the neck with a knife, etc).

Hmm, interesting question. Maybe a good pair of dissecting scissors? A really fine clamp (McCabe?)?

Mental problem

Bleeding stops with some cautery and tying off of big vessels. It's not like patients are spurting blood the entire operation.

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you got time, don't worry. stop clogging up emergency rooms with that shit. all you have to do for that is drink some mop n glo, fix you right up

Heyyyy I remember you. Good shit OP. it was like a few years ago. Glad to see you haven't lost your license.

Some patients have chronic mouth dryness (which is the condition that sets them up for sialolithiasis). But most patients are completely asymptomatic until they show up with a blocked duct. Kind of like a kidney stone. It's not like people are pissing sand for years before they get a stone.

Hey fellow ENT bro! Are you general ENT?

Best case scenario, doesn't hit shit, and you'll heal up with no issue and never see a doctor. Worst case scenario, hits the aorta, you're dead before you finish reading this sentence.

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no doctor here . but i guess its around 1 hour until you die (if not hit a pressure blood line) . dont know how much time do you have to find a doctor to recover. Maybe 30 mins

well fuck you very much, mister bones :)

well, i did..
but those fucks don't know that

> (You)

>Mental problem

fuck. you doctors all same. if its something you dont know its mental ....

Request answer please. Attached image for incentive.

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>I feel worms but there are no worms

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2772366/

wow thanks, I appreciate the quick dispatch scenario. Puts me at ease.

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>i fell worms but doctor found no worms ...

can i get into medical school with a 3.5?

i'm an engineer. i was afraid to major in bio chem because it would've been worthless if i didn't get accepted to med school.

Kek, keep on keeping on.

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Ive seen people get stabbed in the abdomen and bleed out pretty fast. Blood pouring out and splattering on the floor leaving a trail everywhere they went. They lasted about a minute until they passed out and fell face first into the floor. As for bystanders, they just stood around and stared at them.

you mean they weren't running to get a bucket? the bastards

I answered you already, stubby !

It's
Koro syndrome

does retained tampon still reign supreme as the worst smell in the medical world or have you experienced something worse?

but well i have it like 5 years now and i think they eat all my body fat. i 120kg pure muscle without doing any sport ...... So its seems it could be worser

user do you really believe there are worms under your skin?
Do you happen to take bath salts?

He needs some milk

someone left indian takeout in the breakroom refrigerator for 2 weeks once, so yes

How far (in %) is the farthest you've seen someone's neck severed? What is the farthest you've seen when the patient survived?

no drugs
it started after a thailand trip

Can you fix this guy?

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Pre surgical possinining of some old fat fuck and spreading his ass cheeks trying to lay him on one side... The masks don't help much.

except alcohol

Here's a dead body at the morgue. How the fuck does this happen?

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Gg
you kill the thred

I don't know what you mean by skin tunnel. You can always get it repaired. See a surgeon, see what they say. You don't have to go through with anything if you don't want to.

I got into med school with a 3.5 (or maybe even less?). I went to a middle of the road state med school. I graduated at the top of my class, went into otolaryngology (one of most competitive specialties), then head and neck cancer surgery.

I've pulled retained nasal tampons....pretty rancid.

Honestly you are crazy

% doesn't matter. You can hack trachea in half and still live (I've seen it), or have a sharp stab to the carotid and bleed out instantly.

Worst injuries are attempted suicides to the neck. Most patients tilt their heads back (which actually brings larynx/trachea forward and brings the carotid/jugulars back into a protected position. Then the slash across the neck cuts the airway, but spares the major blood vessels.

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well there you go. i tell all my patients not to fuck chinks. But do they listen ? no they don't. the only known cure is to eat out a fat black girl with a leaky bladder. THEN maybe you'll learn to listen

no thanks
i dont need aids
worms are enough