Truth General

Is Soccer Goalie the most unathletic position in all of sports?

It requires to talent and they barely keep the ball out of the goal

whatever tom brady plays, all he does is throw a go damn egg shielded behind 10 buff nigs

I'll be honest, I thought this too. I played a lot of sports but never soccer and I've been a hockey goalie since I was a little kid. I finally got around to playing soccer a few years ago after I started university and naturally everyone forced me to go in net because I was a hockey goalie. I was very surprised how different it was. There's quite a bit of athleticism involved and it can be a fairly physically taxing position. The ball is moving a lot faster than you'd think. I was really not expecting it since I spent most of my life making fun of soccer players and calling soccer goalies faggots who mostly stand around doing nothing

A FUCKING LEAF

You need reference points to appreciate certain things. Watch women's football and compare the goalkeeper. Or round up some of your fat pals and play in a full size net and see how you get on, and then remember the people scoring past you easily are fat Americans and not professionals.

i'm on my phone so if anyone has the pasta it'd be great
meanwhile:
>that flag
>this topic

>Is Soccer Goalie the most unathletic position in all of sports?
Have you seen how fat MLB pitchers and DH's can get and still be considered "elite?" Plenty of tubby golfers too. Soccer goalie isn't even close.

Darts players used to be fat as fuck, but they're all poofters now.

Soccer players are pretty much just long distance runners on the athletic spectrum so maybe if you played a real sport in BritBongBurkastan land you'd know what athletic is.

I bet you think running from Muslim van drivers is a sport now.

Yes, I play five aside football and we have 6 players, 3 rotate 2 outfield positions and sub and the other 3 2 outfield and 1 keeper.

Being in goal is literally the same as being off the pitch, it's absolutely necessary but provides no work out.

Put the fatty in goal.

Throwing a 95 MPH fastball in a 3 foot target and hitting a 95 MPH fastball out of the park are the hardest things to do in any sport.

All athletes agree on this.

The problem with keepers these days is they all wear bland bullshit and mix in with the crowd. Easy for guys to look at where they want to put the ball.

What they gotta do is wear the awesome stuff from the 90's to keep the eyes on them and make them targets.

t. someone who has never even put his arms above his head

>being able to play sport for 90 minutes makes you tantamount to a long distance runner in American sports

true this
""""retro"""" goalie shirts are god-tier

I am an athlete and I disagree.

You could never in your life come even remotely close to doing either of those things

I would love to see you try and even make contact with a fastball you fucking poofter

>jogging back and forth for 90 minutes celebrating the 1 goal that is scored in half the games is somehow a sport

Well I haven't played rounders since I was a child so I couldn't say.

I played cricket where the ball moves at the same pace as a fast ball (yes it does). It's even allowed to go outside of a tiny gap and I still hit sixes. I'm not surprised you're ignorant though, most Americans think the world ends at their borders.

I could say the same dumb shit about league of legends players and esports

>it's really difficult! it takes tremendous skill and concentration!
>therefore they're athletes

Almonds: activated

No, just no.

The FASTEST in the sport is slower than the regular pitches of our pitchers

Plus you bounce it

Plus you have a thick as fuck bat

Plus you have more than 4/10 of a second to hit the ball

Well the 5 aside goals are like 4 foot high so...

Im not saying goaly is skill-less, quite the contrary. It just doesn't require the same stamina being a footballer requires.

>athleticism skill and strength is judged by how high the scoreboard is.
poor bait tbqh.

yeah, of course outfield players need more stamina
i'm saying they don't just "do nothing" as everyone in this thread seems to think

>nobody in the world can throw a ball as fast as Americans

You're delusional. You don't have to bounce the ball in cricket so you're wrong again. Getting embarrassing huh. The bat is thick because the ball can be bowled anywhere around your body, including above your head. Not like in baseball where it has to be thrown through tiny area otherwise the fat cunts can't hit it at all.

Such a shame that you refuse to broaden your mind but I suppose it's your loss.

a shit keeper in five a side means you can get spanked every week.
a half decent one and you can get a result.

What about the catcher in baseball?
it's just a guy standing there receiving the ball,not very athletic innit

does that guy play for a team or is he essentially a referee?

that is the Umpire

The catcher still has to hit and run the bases.

The correct answer is offensive linesmen, their job is literally to be a fat fuck and stand there.

Meh yes and no, if you play as a guard or center (inner lineman) many plays have pulls and switch which require a decent amount of speed or reflexes. Tackles(last lineman on either side) they usually just need to be huge and strong though footwork and hand techniques are king there probably the least moving around of any position in AmeriEgg

Also catchers are calling pitches the entire game to their pitchers.

not really bong

Good point. Compare ice hockey to soccer. Stopping a puck with a 6 foot wide net when you're wearing a lot of padding is relatively easy with training. Hockey goalies see 30 or more shots in a game and they are expected to stop 9/10 shots. A soccer goalie might see 5 shots and if they let in 2 good goals then no one will blame them. If a hockey goalie lets in 6 goals on 25 shots everyone will blame the goalie. Stopping the puck is usually easier, but they see more shots and are included in most of the game's action. A soccer goalie might not move for 15 minutes at a time, but the 3 saves he makes will likely require good position and some athletic skill

>the most unathletic position in all of sports
In US football, the dude who only comes to grab and hold the ball for the kicks. Technically a paraplegic could do it.

This
The best keepers are not in big clubs like Barcelona or Madrid, because the playstyle is so different
Big clubs have better defenses, thus less chances against them, so their keepers have to warm up and cool off very frequently
The smaller teams have keepers with more action, that may need a little less concentration but a lot more stamina