“things white people get to hear, but black people don’t.”

“things white people get to hear, but black people don’t.”

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I’m proud of you son

"You're a good decent person. "

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'That's very kind of you'
'Thank you'
'Good day to you too'

"How can you compete with this, white boi?"

Okay sir I'm letting you off with a warning.

"Thanks for working overtime this week! Your paycheck is going to be pretty huge."

"Look, your dad is back from the store"

"Wow, you got a high score on your SATs"

sorry, i dont listen to hiphop

I love you daddy

My family isn't on welfare

"Congratz on finishing your degree in STEM"

fpbp

Such nice neighbors.

"You're such a good swimmer!"

we know you just get out of jail but we are willing to give you a job to start your life again

Thanks for the tip.

Hello son.

"Hi, I'm normal"

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You passed the background check

“The good thing is it isn’t sickle cell”

Maybe if you know the right people or have a rich family smh

you’re hired

"Good morning ! How are you my son ?"

Congratulations you got the job

excuse me sir, do you have any change?

"You.. What ? You like to watch your gi..girlfriend get fucked by a nigger and love watching it ? And it turns you on ? WHAT ? You even masturbate to it ???"

I love This is Us

"Son, why do you watch a show designed for little girls ? Why do you masturbate on a little pony plush ? What the fuck did I do wrong with your education ?"

Bonus;

'Hey you like Frasier too?'

Glad you didn’t get shot when you got pulled over

Depends on the cop, I remember when I was out drinking with my brother and our black friend when we were younger, sitting at a table behind an establishment in the middle of the night. Cop pulled up, gets out of his car, comes over and asked if anyone had any pipes. Black dude said yep, cop walked him over to the forest line and told him to give it a good throw, drove off after.
I've also seen them try to get white kids who had mouths on them with anything they could. Ive seen them beat the piss out of a few hot headed white dudes just to let out some aggression, I would assume.

"I promise the sex was GREAT. No! It's not your fault I didn't orgasm I NEVER orgasm..."

for you

Based af

No you're not a terrorist, just a complicated misunderstood survivor of bad parenting.

"Your free to go sir."

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“Your home loan has been approved!”

Congratulations on getting into college without playing the victim card!

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Happy Father's Day, Dad!

Thanks, son.

"I'm gonna let you off with a warning"

Your iq is above average

Yes, this actually is a Cadillac.

“Thanks for your payment, here’s your receipt.”