Tis story time, Sup Forums

Tis story time, Sup Forums
I'll start

This happened this school year
>Be me
>Be freshman
>Meet tard
>He smells like ass
> Wears the same shirt and shorts everyday
>See him watching TF2 on his little Galaxy s2
>say "Like TF2, eh?"
>He swings at me
>He apparently doesn't like me
>I tell him I'm a hacker and I can hack his account
>He turns to me and grabs his pencil
>Fucking stabs me
>Fast forwad
>In office
>Principal talks about how i shouldn't pic fights with the tards
>Gets 2 days of ISS
>He gets nothing
>mfw
I have more of this kid. Tell me if you want to hear more

Attached: c175fc4e-14c1-4987-9cdf-678a144a523e.jpg (640x640, 25K)

Bump.

I don't want to hear about a dumb underage canadian fag fighting with an autist.

But i'll let this happen

Attached: 39tw0ws5rej01.jpg (730x873, 88K)

So, here's another altercation I had with this tard
and I'm not a Canadian
>Be me
>1st period
>The tard comes in
Lets just name him John so I don't say tard over and oveer
>Stench fills the room
>Some nig gog in the corner starts being over dramatic (like a normal nigger would)
>John turns to him
>flips him off
>My midget friend says "you smell like ass'
>John is P I S S E D
I forgot to mention he is extremely over weight. around 270?
>He throws his bags down
>Literally does a little foot warmup be for he charges
>the nigger stands up, for he knows what is coming
>He charges the nigger, pushing over a qt
>He is blindsided by a beaner fag
>Beaner bends John over and proceeds to spank him with a hairbrush
>My midget friend grabs a textbook and throws it
>John is headshotted
>VP walks in
>pepper sprays the beaner
>Beaner gets 5 days ISS
>Midget gets alternative schooling for 30 days
More?

Attached: textbooks_in_a_stack_0071-0907-2807-3505_SMU.jpg (300x162, 19K)

kek...more plz

Please sir, may I have some more?

lets hear about this tard.

Go on OP

Attached: 1520329489871.jpg (640x678, 169K)

keks

OP? OwO

Ok here's some more

>Art class
>John sits at the same table group as me
>My beaner friend (different from the spanker)love messing with john
Art teacher is chill, she plays music in class and it's a genuinely fun class
>White girls talking about how "this song is fun to dance to"
>John exclaims "Life is not about singing and dancing, it's about paying taxes and dying"
>Everyone shocked, chins hit the floor
>I'm laughing
Fast forward 2 months
>John talking about his taste and music
>Tell him shut up
>He does
>Starts singing along with the music
>Tell him "Life is not about singing and dancing, it's about paying taxes and dying"
>He is bamboozled
>"How dare you mock me"
>Giggle
>He flips the table
>Paint everywhere
>He runs
I have more

Attached: wet-paint-wet-paint-everywhere.jpg (565x313, 39K)

wtf is wrong with john, keep going OP

Attached: jet fuel can melt steel beams.gif (400x225, 661K)

He apparently has autism, but personally I think nothing is wrong with him, just need his ass beat

That kids fucked lol.

reporting intrested in the tard tales

more tard tales pls

I've got a good one.
(Not OP)
Don't have it pre-typed, so please keep this thread bumped. It's medium-length.
No bamboozles.

ok I'll type while u type

bump

Bump

Bump. i want to hear more stories. and if anyone's screen capping, put me in please.

5358

Tard bump

i wonder how long id need to keep my nose up john's ass before i get used to his smell

niber

Attached: orange.png (320x272, 109K)

Bump

bump

gotcha boss

bump

more pls

Attached: 1509671163069.gif (320x320, 1.56M)

Hm hMm hm hm hmmm

>be me

>be 2nd grade

>have same tard in class since kindergarten

>fetal alcohol syndrome i think (looks like a tardy version of pic related)

>be taking some stupid standardized test

>teacher leaves room bc she didnt give a fuck, spent whole year on phone planning wedding

>finish test early and get bored

>get smart idea to throw pencil into ceiling

>doink.mp4

>tard sees this and tries her hand

>actually nails it

>super high like 13 ft ceilings btw, took some effort

>tard super excited, chimps out a bit but stays in desk

>little did i know that i just gave this tard her new favorite past-time

>over the next 10 minutes tard has thrown all pencils into ceiling, most falling down without sticking, falling on other students

>class has already learned not to do anything to/about tard because "muh speshulness"

>tard runs out of pencils

>tard begins taking pencils from other students

>students hand over pencils because, what else could we do

>teacher walks in as tard throwing last of pencils in ceiling

>class loses recess for not coming to get teacher to warn about tard, despite being specifically told we would be "severely punished" if we left our seats for any reason while she was out

>fuckyoubitch.gif

>tard gets away scott-free

Attached: gc.jpg (358x237, 11K)

these are great continue

Attached: oops.webm (400x352, 1.57M)

Bumpasaurusrex

Attached: 1516917493266.jpg (480x462, 31K)

>be me in 5th grade in the late 90's
>WWF wrestling was super popular
>we used to fuck with this semi-retarded kid because he would get so mad
>we used to do all the WWF moves on him
>I used to flip him off then hit him with a stunner like Stone Cold... he would rage
>feel like a dick now but that shit was hilarious

>"Life is not about singing and dancing, it's about paying taxes and dying"

my fucking sides

Attached: 1464868445677.jpg (1182x966, 436K)

cont. because innocuous details are important

>still be me

>dont be: whole class who is pissed at me for releasing tard orbital strike

>somehow class doesnt snitch on me for starting it

>teacher has to go to next class over to get more pencils so some students could finish their tests seeing how Elon Tard had just launched everyones pencils

>i have a few more stories from this tard, plus some others but i fucking hate typing

Once we made FB fanpage for our tard (cant greentext nuff to make it worth effort) and it gon shut down for abusment. It contained only his pictures

(OP)
little backstory. John likes to run to and from lunch. He finds short cut through auditorium. kool. also i play football/in athletics. that'll come in later
>be last week
>there is district coaches meeting in auditorium
>John is sprinting cuz y not
coaches are outside auditorium in a huddle
>John does not care. does not slow down, he just lowers his shoulder and barrels through them
>fucking dominoes
>My coach sees me laughing
>be in athletics
>HC pulls me to the side and tells me what happened was not funny
>lol wut
>i have to do 100 burpees
>mfw

Attached: nigga-what-24433016.png (500x522, 129K)

>there was a retarded girl in highschool that used to play pretend harry potter with other nerds
>she was in one of my agriculture classes because she was really into the animals (lived in a rural area, huge agriculture dept)
>we'd have to work out in the pens and stables etc
>she had a pretty sexy body for a tard. big tits, chubby but not fat... braces and a wild look on her face all the time lol
>she used to pull her dress up and show her ass and do little dances
>i would smoke cigs in the greenhouse and oe time she was in there and saw me smoking
>I groped her tits and ass and pulled her dress up to see her pussy
>she laughed, i said shhhh and we left

this thread is great. keep em coming guys

Attached: born to meme.jpg (640x640, 70K)

what the fuck is wrong with you^^^

Start fucking volunteering XD

We had a game in elementary school where we'd let the tard chase us and if you got touched you got retard germs, the best part was that the wrangler thought we where just playing tag.

worldwide wildlife fund wrestling?
i's the WWE you're looking for.

wtf is alternative schooling?

a tard used to sit in the front of the bus and had one of those fucking braided rat tails..... last day of school we cut that bitch off... nobody snitched on who actually did the cutting so we got away with it but the kid was fuming

it was the WWF at the time chief

>I'm not Canadian
just what a Canadian would say, eh?

give me a moment for more john stories. I do have stories about a different tard named. ill call him brian
>Be me
>In PAAV class
brian is autistic, but genuinely nice and a friend of mine
>My file from yesterday is corrupted
>Turn to brian
>"brian, what did you do yo my file"
>"Nothing?"
>I get pretty angry, even though i know he didnt do it
>He says "it wasn't me, no need to be a s a s s y about it."
>everyone laughs
>brian starts yelling "STOP LAUGHING"
>kek

Attached: space_sky_stars_79233_1920x1080.jpg (1920x1080, 1.72M)

It was wwf up until 2002

Ah.
I'm not so familiar with wrestling as a topic. Good to know though.

Attached: thanksmrhomme.png (600x482, 573K)

bump

Attached: 1388694998836.gif (299x204, 1.99M)

Alternitave schooling (DEAP) is where all the bad kids go. its in the school basement

well it is at my school

You were homeschooled werent you?

>just need his ass beat

You two do have something in common

Attached: 1518832970966.jpg (484x800, 100K)

nahhh homeschool is for fucking preppy niggas

end of thread? i hope not.

cmon op post more

this.

op wya

ok give me a moment. someone should screen cap

if you're gonna screencap, don't forget this guy.

Lolz dubs saiz ur gayy

>Be me
>In art again
>girl in class is crying
oh, john is a complete ladies man kek
>John kneels next to her
>her tear count is increasing because of stench
>He puts his arm around her
>armpit smell is released
>girl throws up
>art project ruined
>John asks "are you sick?"
>Girl runs out of class room
>John yells at her, calling her a bitch
>mfw

Attached: download (1).jpg (238x212, 8K)

gotem

Attached: Screenshot from 2018-03-21 19-39-40.png (827x412, 124K)

ayy lmao

thread has died. rip

Had something similar!

>be me

>be 5th grade

>dont be: nerdy thai girl (6/10)

>definitely dont be: ChromaSimon

>thai girl walking through halls carrying books because her (i shit you not) hello kitty backpack couldn't hold everything

>chromasimon bumps into her because he's too busy counting his shoe laces

>starts to reee because tard

>thai girl stunned for a second then retches a decent bit

>tard, oblivious to her disgust, suddenly comes down with a case of yellow fever

>tard begins (figuratively) throwing his spaghetti all over the halls as he scrambles to pick of the books

>through gagging thai girl tries to tell him its alright, she'll pick them up

>she can't bend over because that would put her in range of the musTARD gas

>you can literally see the (i hope) grease his fat sausage fingers are leaving on her books

>girl is visibly shaking as tard leans in real close to give her books

>pretty sure she threw up a little in her mouth

>"anyfing eelse i can halp yuo weth?"

>"nn-no, thank you"

>books it back the way she came

>tards fw

>pretty sure i saw him smell his hand when he went to go tard somewhere else

Attached: tfw.jpg (340x227, 12K)

HAHAHAH

my baby is ded

well, thread's dead. final screencaps?

i got them

what do with them?

I've got a few

> Be in 6th or 7th grade social studies
> Boy and girl dual tard unit in class
> The boy tard i'll call "Tiger", this comes in later.
> One day in social studies, Tiger sees some kid taking off the old tennis ball from the leg of the chair.
> We had tennis balls on the legs of the chair so they wouldn't be so loud on the epoxy floor.
> Typical troublemaker kid starts tossing the ball around to a few people in class since the teacher stepped out and was gone for a while.
> Tiger see, tiger play.
> The fucking tard starts taking all the balls off his chair and starts pitching the balls across the room like he's in the big league.
> everyone takes cover under their desk while Tiger is running to the other side of the room to get the balls.
> Tiger is having the time of his life throwing the balls as hard as he can, sending them smashing up against the shelves knocking shit off of them and breaking one of the window blinds.
> I'm under my desk cackling like a hyena.
> This Tard does not have a care in the world if he hits someone in the head, he's too busy running around throwing balls and having a tard chuckle "heeug heeug gyah harg".
> this continues on for 10 more minutes until one of the girls runs out of the classroom to get someone to wrangle the tard.
> one of the wranglers finally arrives and tiger starts crying, and for some reason potato girl starts crying as well when she had no part in it.
>they both get taken to the office.

If anyone is interested as to why he got the tiger nickname, lemme know if you want to hear it.

screencaps? post em please, i want them.

yeah go on, tiger seems interesting

Attached: Screenshot (1).png (3600x1080, 885K)