CRUNCH crunch crunch... CRUNCH crunch crunch crunch

>CRUNCH crunch crunch... CRUNCH crunch crunch crunch...

>riiiip clackclackclack... CRUNCH crunch crunch

>kr-pop.. hisssssssssssssssssssssss

>sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp.... sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/xoJDrbWtma4?t=280
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

>FUCK ME HARDER YEA
>THATS IT RIGHT THERE FUCK ME RIGHT THERR
>OH YEA CUM IN IT CUM IN IT YES YES
>OH FUUUUUUUUCK CUM IN IT YES

>BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAPAPPPPPPPPPRRRTT

Me in the white & black checkered shirt

where is your friends or gf?

I once bought a large coke just to fucking throw in the cinema

I coated like 10 fucking people with that coke too, shit was hilarious, I was legitimately laughing for half the fucking film when they all got up and left

>*magazine loading*

>IF I PULL THAT OFF...

>*crshhh crsh*

>sluuuuuuuurp

>HEY WHATCH OUT THAT GUYS GOT A GUN

>WILL YOU DIE?!

>RATATATATATATATATATATATATAT

>MOMMY NOOO

>WEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

> IT WOULD BE EXTREMELY PAINFUL ...

>RATATATATATATA

> BANG BANG

>HELP HELP

>AAAAAAEEEEEH HELP US

>YOURE A BIG GUY

>BANG BANG

>FOR YOU

>RATATATATATAT

Mostly these meme sounds come from myself or my friend. Which means I would hear these sounds from my own home if I watched the movie there instead. The loud sound of the cinema would filter out the majority of the surrounding chewing, so you don't notice it. You stupid little shits only hear these sounds if you actively try to hear them. But don't worry the staff has already thought about this, and made it impossible thanks to the great surround sound system. This is why it's worth paying the price for a cinema ticket, you get quality all around.

Now this is advanced autism

Main reason why I dont like to go to the kinos

>extremely quiet scene
>suddenly be aware of urge to swallow
>hold the saliva until the scene is over because it feels like everyone around you can hear you swallowing

THE PRESENT MODERATION
I PUT MY FIST IN THEM
KEKS EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM
SEE RIGHT THRU THE RED WHITE A BLUE DISGUISE
WITH SHITPOSTING I PUNCTURE THE STRUCTURE OF LIES
MEMES IN OUR MINDS AND ATTEMPTING TO HOLD US BACK
WE'VE GOT TO TAKE THE POWER BACK

>pffffffffftt
>shhhhlick shlick shlick
Me pooing

...

>watching dr strange
>some child starts whining
>random lady "get that kid out of here!"
>still hear the kid but he gets quieter

>movie has 1 of those moments where the audio fades out and goes completely silent
>*BBRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*

>watching movie
>chicken starts squawking
>"SHUT THAT CHICKEN UP!"
>woman smothers chicken
>it wasn't chicken it was baby

ahhahaah

...

I went to the cinema for the first time in about 10 years (since I was about 11 and Episode 3 came out) at the beginning of this year, ironically to see Star Wars (although went back to see a couple of other ones a few weeks later)

There was never more people than maybe 10, at most, including my group of 5.

Am I just going at dodgy times or because I always see the films a couple of weeks after the premier and reviews come in?

>movie is mixed so bad you can't hear the dialogue

>the light is shining directly on that loser when he wants to not be seen as much as possible

Going to the movies is degenerate

>go to movies on Wednesday/Thursday at noon
>only me and between 0 and 4 elderly people
>never any popcorn or drinks
>always completely quiet

Crab legs were a mistake

youtu.be/xoJDrbWtma4?t=280

And the chads and wagekeks are at work

normie wagies once again BTFO

This

Best time to see movies

>head to the cino to watch some kino
>approaching ticketmaster
>chicken out and run all the way back to my car when it's my turn to buy tickets because he'll know i'm watching movies alone

every movie for the past 5 years

>go to see Jack Reacher 2 with friends
>neckbeard nolife sits by himself in the next row
>pulls out his phone every 5 minutes
>screen brightness 110%
>start throwing popcorn at him but he ignores it
There's someone like this in every film I see at the cinema. Just turn your phone off if you can't resist the urge to stare at it for two hours.

>watching movie
>suddenly the picture stops rolling and everyone's confused
>theatre attendant descends from the staircase in the middle of the theatre
>our movie had to stop rolling because there's a shooting in a theatre room on the OTHER FUCKING SIDE of the cineplex

Yeah, I was pissed. They put the movie back on after thirty minutes and comped us

what kind of theater do you guys have where you can hear that shit over the movie?

>watching films in a movie theater

This is what casuals do

plz be troll

>go watch movie 10am monday morning
>fucking old people
>old people everywhere
>they bring fish and chips and dont need to hide it

at least they are quiet

>at movies
>my phone rings (kingdom hearts theme)
>let it ring all the way through to voicemail so i don't offend the caller
>everyone freaks the fuck out and yells at me like I'm ruining the movie
you were crunchin
you were snickerin and chattin lightly with your normalscum friends
fucking leave me the fuck alone

WHEN YOU WALK AWAY

>go to see Arrival
>only 20 or so people in the theater
>prepare for comfy
>somehow someone is always rustling their popcorn and chewing with their mouth open at all times

Theaters are shit desu

sorry about that

>SIR YOU FORGot your falcon..........

iktf

ahahah

Tdkr seriously could not hear shit

At what point did I go from the person who felt bad about stuff like this to the person who laughs at these posts?

I heard he wasn't planning on killing anyone until that scene came on

Haha yes! There's our guy! He's still got it!

i hate when that happens.

owh wait no

>uk

jesus

Autism: the post

Imagining the OP's post gave me ASMR/nostalgia. I actually like watching a film in a packed theatre (as long as people are just eating etc and not talking loudly), it's comfy and different than watching on a PC screen. Watching in a near-empty theatre feels weird.

Fucking the opening of Gravity was the worst for this.

>Sir. Excuse me. SIR! Purchasing a single ticket is against out policy, sir. Put the phone down. Sir, I can see no one is on the other end of the line. Why are you holding two coats, sir? You need to produce a viewing associate (ie. a friend or romantic partner) or I'm gonna have to ask you to vacate the premises.

You do realize there is cameras in the thaetre right?

Generally gets drowned out when the movie starts. Unless your movie theatre is a piece of shit.

EXCEPT

Fucking nachos. If you're anywhere within 5-10 feet of someone muching on those things, even during the fucking loudest parts of the movie you can hear the fucking pigs stuffing their faces with those things.

Went and saw a movie at 10 in the morning on a Sunday during the summer because I had a couple hours to kill. This is one of their first showings of the day. The movie theatre isn't packed obviously, but there's a fair few people in there. Of course two fat sweat hogs roll up the aisle and sit a few seats away from me. The entire first half of a movie was just these two disgusting pigs hunched over their nacho trays chowing down. That horrid fake cheese smell just sinking deep into my nostrils and not going away the entire duration of the film. Absolutely disgusting.

Who the fuck buys nachos at 10 in the morning? That's what I want to know first of all.

only animals go to the cinema

ROBERT WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING ME? I TIPPED YOU FIVE BUCKS ONCE

I'm here with my twin brother, wait right there.

MOMS

>SIR IF YOU CONTINUE REFUSING TO COMPLY I WILL BE FORCED TO CALL THE LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT AND NEWS ORGANIZATION

>(Jeez user, I'm sorry. I know you're not a bad guy... it's just... the other viewers don't feel safe. If it was up to me you could stay, really. Why not just leave? There doesn't have to be a scene, I'll talk to the manager and see if you can keep the popcorn. C'mon do it for me)

>There's that group of friends with the Chad who yells memes and jokes during the movie for reactions

>Who the fuck buys nachos at 10 in the morning? That's what I want to know first of all.


Fat Amerisharts.

Robert please, we've known each other for years don't do this to me.

>Always sneak a couple of beers into movies
>Guy is on his phone through the entire movie
>People in the row behind him are leaning over and politely telling him to turn it off
>He doesn't
>I finish my first beer and toss the empty at him and hit him right in the head
>He starts freaking out and yelling at everyone in the theater, asking who threw that, etc.
>Lights go on, employee comes in and throws him out
>Apologizes to all of us and comps a free ticket to everyone, resumes the movie

My friends are coming later.

have any of you been to an opera?

you dare make a noise and you will have someone turn around and stare at you until you stop
god forbid you try and clear your throat

>CAW CAW
>CLANG CLANG CLANG
>SHRIEEEEEEEK
>splash

Will the Roberts of the world get it first or last in the uprising?

As a sound editor, my autism is so advanced that I don't need to actively try to listen, I hear fucking everything. I also criticize other editors while watching films when they leave in nose farts or tonal F's.

>Went to see a musical with an English class way back when.
>A whole bunch of dumb fuck kids sitting in a theatre
>Of course the "seriousness" of it all gets to you, so you start laughing, and you don't stop
>Play begins, still laughing
>People are looking, makes it worse
>Woman behind me leans forward and asks my friend to shut me up
>Upon hearing this, immediately turn around and say "excuse me, would you be quiet,"
>She gasps but leans back and shuts up
>Feel like I've just won something for saying that and enjoy the musical for what it was
>Once the play ends I stand up and put on my coat
>Catch eyes with the woman, mid-30s, resting bitch face. She's still seated listening to her companion talk.
>Give her the biggest shit eating grin I could.

Oh man, good times.

ahahahahahhahahahaha

AAH
SHHH
AAH
SSHH
AAAH
SSHH
AAH
SSHH

>tfw while this was happening I was rolling for first time

It can honestly be quiet tension breaking when listening to classical music.
I know people can't help it if they have to cough or whatever, but when there's someone who feels the need to unpack his drops loudly in the middle of some peaceful adagio he deserves to be stared at.

>unfunny scene
>ahhahhhahhah

>not drinking beforehand and watching the movie already buzzed/drunk

I do hope we are talking about an empty can here, not a bottle.

>movie tries to make a joke
>no one fucking laughs
>that painfully awkward atmosphere

just fucking kill me senpaitachi

>COUGH COUGH
>AHEM...
>COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH

It better have been an empty drinking horn

>Go to midnight screening with some friends
>Middle schoolers constantly flash a laser pointer at the screen
Holy fuck

>millennium falcon/vader's helmet/chewbacca appears on screen

>HAHAHAHAHAHAH YEAAAAAHH WHOOOOOOOOOOOO *APPLAUSE INTENSIFIES*

Autism is becoming more and more prevalent in this country, and something needs to be done about this epidemic

We're just getting better at identifying it :O)

You guys are unlucky.

>having shower at the cinema
>forgot shower gel
>walk in to screening in a towel and ask to borrow some
>nobody was annoyed

> someone cracks a beer

>But don't worry the staff has already thought about this, and made it impossible thanks to the great surround sound system

Don't you mean unbearably high volume?

For that reason I always bring my hearing protectors. They also mute out the annoying audience noises which is nice

Do this but I don't want to swallow my own saliva afterwards so I'll spit it down my bottle

One time I had my cheeks full when leaving the cinema because I had nowhere to dispose it

>they start passing more out down along the row

I did this when I saw Finding Dory

>not requesting the projectionist to turn on the subtitles

They should have at least rerouted the security camera feed to the big screen for you to keep track of what's happening
(and setting bets between yourselves)

At the same time Sup Forums is becoming more and more popular.
Coincidence?

> feel pretty sad because I fucked up an important assignment
> drive past a theater at ten in the morning
> say fuck it, and decide to go watch a movie to drown out my slowly rising urge to kill myself
> the only thing playing is Jack Reacher 2 : Never give up, never surrender or whatever dumb fucking tagline it had
> as I buy my ticket at the booth, notice that there is literally only one other seat reserved
> nice
> go up several flights of stairs, decide to get some overpriced theater food
> sit down in my seat
> there's just one other guy sitting a couple rows ahead of me
> as the movie begins, two other people enter late, looking around with the flashlight on their mobile
> they have literally about ~100 seats to choose from
> they start walking into my row, stumble over my backpack, sit down about four seats away from me
> start making out loudly
> popping beer
> talking
> at one point the guy literally falls asleep and starts snoring
> barely pay attention to the movie, spend the movie imagining how my death would really impact the few people I know that much

The movie was shit, by the way

What about the part where they get up and beat the shit out of you?

I would've brought my wife but tonight is your turn.

>>MOMMY NOOO
>>WEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Why didn't you just find another place to sit?

user, I might be useless fuckup but even I'm not so beta that I'd change seats after I got there first

he wants to suffer, really

I'm siding with this dude: