Anime feels thread. I'm feeling kinda dead inside right now. Help me remember how to emotion

Anime feels thread. I'm feeling kinda dead inside right now. Help me remember how to emotion.

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Sometimes it's better not to feel, I suppose.

I don't disagree, but I'm bored and it's been too long since I felt something.

I see. Well, I know this girl, she's... well let's call her a friend–it's complicated... anyway, she's dying. Needless to say my year has been below expectations so far due to this situation. I know that I will recover as soon as this is over, but still... this really gets under my skin and changes things forever.

Ok, that hurt. I know I'm just a random user, but I'm sure things will get better for you. I'm really sorry to hear about this. Just keep your head high, life is about perserverence.

January and most of february were tough. I mean, toughest stretch of time in my life (and I've been through shit before). From then on it got better. She retreated somewhat (probably to "protect" me) while her family is looking after her and the only remaining line of communication is WhatsApp atm.

Meanwhile I'm reclaiming control over my life, but still... Makes you wonder what life really is about.

You'll always care for her, and you'll always have her memory. As for the meaning of life? That definition is up to you. From here, you can overlook your options and figure out how to proceed. Pick up a new hobby or skill, find something you're passionate about that will give your life meaning and take everyday one step at a time. I'm rooting for you.

Oh, I'm confident that I'll get along afterwards. It's just... to see a truly beautiful 23-year-old girl in a wheel chair get a brain cancer diagnosis... it's just not fair, at all.

I avoid the subject most of the time and she appreciates that. But a few weeks ago we texted late in the evening, she was alone in her hospital room and she just wrote how terribly afraid she was. I just didn't know what to write except some banalities to cheer her up somehow. I will never in my life get over that moment.

This is so horrifically sad that I don't even know what to say. I don't know how much time she has left, but I would just try and make the most of it. It's messed up that her life has been cut so short, but that doesn't mean the rest of her time has to be meaningless. I know you said she distanced you to protect you, but is she strictly enforcing that? Like, would she be happy if you decided to spend time with her right now? If so, just comfort her and do things she enjoys. She doesn't have to go out sad.

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saved

I feel similar, yet also unsure on if my life is worth living. I feel I have kind of fucked up in what I've done. Nothing heinous but nothing good. The only thing stopping me is myself not wanting to hurt those around me. I want another shot of life. I am comfortable with my mortality, or rather thankful for it. Am I fuckered?

I don't know how much time she has left either, but glioblastomas grow quickly, so the remaining time will be short. Her birthday is in april, I've got no idea if she will even be around then.

Nevertheless, I'll do my very best to comfort her and cheer her up for the remaining time. I'm not in contact with her family (we met online only a short while before the diagnosis and no formal introduction has been made), so I'll have to make do with the options at hand. Since she moved in with her family in january I don't know her current address, so these options are somewhat limited. I just trust that she'll use my contact information as she needs it, there's nothing more I can do at this point of time.

Anyway, thanks for replying. It means a lot.

I'll be off now, take care, user.

The reason why I made this thread is because I'm planning on leaving this life in about a week now and I've been feeling empty about everything. I pray everyday that I'll get another at my life. If you have any other choice, then don't kill yourself. Be opportunistic. You can perform miracles if you set your mind to it. I may not kill myself, I'm looking for every comforting reason not to. I don't have any friends, and my emo sister ran away for literally no good reason to live with a bunch of strangers, but my emotionally wrecked parents come to mind. I don't want to deal any more damage but sometimes I just feel terrified with what's going on and like I just can't endure living fear everyday. I've never done anything note worthy either btw, but that's because I've never had the chance.

Im glad youre looking at this as positively as you are. Im sure you make her happy and she is just glad you're sticking around with her.

Oh man. I don't blame you. If I knew it would give me another shot, I think I would immediately, but until then I don't want to hurt those around me. I care for them too much. I wish I could retry life. Starting from middle school. I fucked so much up from then that I don't know if I can right it anymore.

Speaking of which, the reason why I replied to your thread and told my story in the first place. If I understand you correctly in you are considering ending your life. I'm not in the position to argue against that, but I hope that what I wrote might make you reconsider. When you witness someone's time being cut short like I am now, and when you realise how precious a few days or weeks more can be, it changes your outlook on life. It might still be meaningless and depressing at times, but even so every day is worth living, considering that it will end soon enough in any case.

Just a thought on my part.

It's no problem. I wish you the very best of luck. Be strong. She knows you're there for her and she is without a doubt very happy about it. You'll likely see her again and pass happy knowing you and everyone else was there for her. You're granting her peace in dark times, which is the greatest thing you can do for somebody. You take care aswell, user. It's been nice talking to you.

*farts*

I'm pulling every string I can to put my mind on the right track. Dying scares me but I fear it a lot less than life right now. I'm still not completely sure if I'm gonna do it. I am 21 and things in my life have been depressing for about 3-4 years now, but recently things have taken a horrible turn, and I feel that if I don't kill myself now, I end up wishing I had later in life should things get any worse. It's a viable option right now. If my worst fears come to life, it won't be later. I'm considering every factor. The last thing I want to do is give up.

I'm 45 now and without wanting to patronise you, you will miss out, trust me. I'm not saying that life is always wonderful, but it's quite a ride and believe me, at 21 the game is still on, no matter how bleak your outlook on life might be at the moment.

Are we talking clinical depression? In this case get serious help, that is, help with an M.D.

In any case, don't beat yourself up. There is more to come, you'll see.

Also, read Hesses "Steppenwolf," it helped me a lot years ago.

I've heard that a lot, actually. I do want to see what life has to offer. I think about the things I'd like to do someday. If it's clinical then it's undiagnosed. My big thing is fear. I always feel like no matter what I try at I'll mess it up. I can't drive without thinking I'll wreck or something. I'm always nervous and afraid and when I wake up, I immediately wonder if I'm going to regret getting out of bed. I've been relying on a variety of comforts over the years to keep my mind at ease but due to recent events, it's just been impossible. And I have taken a note of the book "Steppenwolf". I'll check it out, thank you user.

Also, I've screen capped this thread. Your story and advice will be remembered. I won't share it, so don't worry. I just want to view from time to time. It'll help keep me strong.

Late reply, sorry. I've been asking that question for an uncomfortable amount of time now. I feel like my life at this point is gone. My to-do list extends into the heavens which probably doesn't even matter given the resources I currently have. I feel like I'm already dead, and that making it official would just spare me a lifetime of suffering. I only have two people on this earth who care about me at all, but I still don't want to hurt them. I'm conflicted.

Look into it, both the book and what I wrote.

I sincerely hope I will read more from you in another thread a few weeks from now. I know I'll be on the lookout.

Until then take care, user.

Don't hurt yourself.

Feel free to share it if you think it's helpful. It's alright.

I probably won't kill myself right now. Things are dark and troubling as it currently stands but I feel there is hope and maybe I'll cling to that for now. I don't like taking the risk, but if there's a chance I can still make something of my life and one day look back on this, then I'll take it. Thank you for your help, it means the world to me. I wish you the very best in what you're going through.

Thanks for your permission. Maybe one day I'll bump in to somebody else who's going through hard times and I'll give them a glimpse. Let them know that they are not alone and that although life can be cruel, there is always hope and always a reason to persevere.

I'll help out, OP.

No matter what I try to do, no matter how much I try to 'reform,' and no matter what I think I'm capable of, I find myself right at Square Zero every single time. Nothing I attempt works, the very thing(s) I used to love and bring joy, now only bring shame, guilt, and self-scorn. I've reached a dead end, and can only watch helplessly from the distance as all of the 'friends and family' I've known for so long move on without me.

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