Wake up

>wake up
>see this
>"Wake up sleepyhead, want to cuddle for a while?"
>wat do

Attached: 1520382204484.jpg (546x970, 37K)

kill it. fuck the dead body

moar

kill it. fuck the dead body

...mods?

>die from the confusion

Bingo

Attached: 1521613683353.jpg (600x466, 43K)

cuddle for a while

Flee to Canada, people who know me will think I went to Mexico and by the time they realize their mistake she'll have repressed the memory

Attached: jeff-dunham-peanut.jpg (177x177, 7K)

Report her to the police and charge her for for breaking and entering.

realize how poor i am that we have to sleep in the same bed and cuddle for warmth since I can't afford heat
then swallow the dread and go to work so i can provide for family

Attached: 57D1E5AE-3E6A-46B6-AB65-F92017BB8409.jpg (600x712, 34K)

my man

Attached: 1520761105092.gif (320x454, 1.93M)

get cancer

Dead girls can’t remember anything. That’s why you pick up the homeless street urchins, no one will miss them

>wake up from dream for real
>remember that no girl would ever get within 50 feet of you

is that a kid

This is a loli. Why don't you have a lick?

Attached: loli.jpg (335x500, 72K)

Attached: GET ON WITH IT!.gif (331x351, 1.75M)

"Wait a minute, you're not my mom!"

*licks

I don't get it what does he mean by this?

*licks sensually*

OwO

Attached: 1518488521621.gif (360x360, 1.08M)

post girldick

Philip defranco?

cut her throat wide open and put my dick in the hole

"No."

Go back to sleep immediatly.

that's a cute smile.

That's a cute smole.

Jerk off until the friction causes you to become circumcised

Attached: 1516951865274.png (918x669, 258K)

way to cute, i'd only wake up in bed with someone if i made a pact with satan.

So like a week ago I fapped too hard and my penis vein got a bump on it. It hurts and hasn't gone away yet.
Wat do?

kys

I ripped open my frenulum while dry humping a girl about a month a go and it still hurts.

STF

Attached: 16018.jpg (686x384, 106K)

Tell her to brush her fucking teeth with my stank breathe

suck his dick.

But it still hurtssssssss

... and I don't wanna take my virgin ass to the doctor and explain what happened

Attached: 1520478593176.jpg (1440x810, 220K)

Attached: images (1).jpg (322x457, 20K)

Pedophile detected! MMMMOOODDSSSSS!!!!!

Get out of my room FBI Im not a cho mo for the last damned time

Enjoy it for as long as possible before I wake up

Attached: 1494880774200.jpg (538x445, 34K)

Apply petroleum jelly to prevent agitation of the wound, and wash twice a day with menstrual blood. It might be hard to get, but shit works like health potions in video games and you should be fine the next morning.

Attached: 1331994951532.jpg (400x479, 29K)

Ah like bloodborne!

I shall try blood healing.

Attached: Lady Maria 24.jpg (2880x1800, 1.69M)

Can someone send me a tor link to get the blood?
I can't find it anywhere on amazon.
Does it have to be fresh?

FUCKING LOL

clearly i'm dreaming
so i let whatever i'm gonna dream about happen because i cannot control my actions in a dream
then i'll wake up and come back posting on the Sup Forums

Attached: 1518298121875.gif (480x270, 1.57M)

call the police

Just murder them