So anyone have any good prostitute stories?? Like the ones that work from home...

So anyone have any good prostitute stories?? Like the ones that work from home. Going on a business trip and considering hitting one up. It's legal in my country if that helps.

Attached: a19ce585c9cf1b4974b3fd86e88ec355--baby-girls--beds.jpg (736x578, 46K)

Ol illn

B really doesn't get out much.

Plenty stories. Always buy those who work from "home". What is it you want to hear?

>be me in uni
>seriously desperate for a good fuck
>look on craigslist
>see some girl posting a ad right next to me (8 miles in fact)
>message her, decide to meet up
>she's actually not a robot wtf
>She tells me to meet her at this small rec center.
>it's fucking 10 at night and its dead silent
>keep calling her but she stops picking up
>fuckingwhorestoodmeup.jpg
>keep calling her and she picks up saying she was picking up stuff at the grocer and she's right down the road from the rec center.
>eventually I see her and wave at her
>she's stumbling down, drunk as fuck
>we talk and she says "you do know what I am right"
>I lie and say no
>she says "do you have money?"
>I lie and say no
>she says well do you know a place we can go?
>"no"
>eventually settle on her house but she has a kid and she lives with her dad. We make our way there and the dad is still awake and says "who the fuck is this?" Literally shit my pants, this guy is a big white hillbilly dude and I'm a hispanic.
>pretend to know her and say "hey I'm user"
>dad is like oh okay nvm
>we go to her room. her daughter is on the bed. She wakes up the daughter and tells her to get out. The daughter looks at me and is like "hi." I wave back and save hi.
>we wait a bit to fuck so the dad goes to sleep.
>we fuck and holy crap, she was actually a really good fuck
>I then ask her to suck me off but she goes to a bathroom connected to her room and throws up in it
>I take her to bed and ask her if she's okay to keep going
>mumbles yes
>better man in me says to just jack off to her ass and call it quits
>tells me to stay
>lolno
>leave to call an uber
>NO CARS AVAILABLE IN YOUR AREA
>decide to walk 8 miles back to uni
>this is in a really barren and empty part of the state I live in
>eventually get to a road where there are no lights. The moon is shrouded by the clouds. It's dark as shit.
>eventually I say fuck it and thumb up to the street to hitchhike. Vietnam vet takes me home.

>decide to get my dick wet
>call up a hooker from a backpage ad
>she seems normal
>tells me a very vague address
>"call me when you get there"
>drive for 30 minutes
>arrive in a shady industrial area
>start getting second thoughts
>remember stories about people getting stabbed and robbed around here
>of course it's an apartment building
>call
>no answer
>keep calling
>finally picks up
>"hey where are you? can't see you? which car is yours?"
>bitch, i've been waiting for 20 minutes now
>just tell me the address
>"I need to verify you're not a cop"
>as if cops would come in a patrol car, sirens blasting
>flash my headlights
>anticipate a gang jumping me from somewhere
>"third entrance, third floor, second door to the right"
>enter building
>don't get stabbed
>go upstairs
>still no stabbing
>""""Diane"""" opens the door
>photo on website must be at least 10 to 15 years old
>definitely second hand goods

cont.

There was this girl that appeared on tv giving out the Hollywood news and one day with some of my friends we were watching tv and she was on it and I said, she would be amazing to fuck, when everyone of our friends was gone the guy whose house we were at asked me if I really wanted to fuck her, I said yes, he then asked me how much would I pay for it. I was shocked he then said that I had to pay around 200 dollars (equivalent to the currency in my country) which included an std test and if mine came clean I would be able to fuck her and if hers came out clean I would pay and fuck her.
He set it up and I met with her at a building and got the blood test at a lab that was across the street of the apartment building, the esta came out clean so she said 100 for only a blowjob, 150 for sex with condom and I could on her stomach or 200 and sex without condom and I could creampie her or do whatever I wanted for 2 hours. So I fucked her the 200 deal and it was amazing

>she's approx 5'6
>at least 150 pounds
>dyed blonde hair that looks like a cheap wig
>lots of makeup
>she's wearing a pink jumpsuit
>sporting a pair of C size breasts
>squint my eyes and it becomes better
>shows me where the shower is
>"Please freshen up"
>enter shower, still no stabbing, although took phone and wallet with me
>slightly cold water
>enough for a quick rinse
>take towel, put it around me
>exit the bathroom
>no stabbings? perhaps it will turn out alright
>take a condom from my wallet
>tuck my phone and wallet back inside my clothes, enter room with everything in my hands
>she's sitting on the couch
>naked
>legs spread
>unenthusiastic look on her face
>just wants to get it over with
>looks at me
>"Come on, let's fuck"
>starts rubbing her vagina "seductively"
>start to get hard
>approach her
>she lifts up her legs
>a big ass queef comes out of her vagina
>followed by a gob of cum
>"Whoops! I just had a customer"
>tell her that I should probably go
>boner is kill
>mood is kill
>probably gonna get stabbed on my way out
>"no, honey, stay! I'll make it up to you"
>gets on all fours
>crawls towards me
>takes towel off me
>starts blowing my limp dick
>think about all the diseases and her raw dogging shady customers

cont.

>start enjoying it
>getting hard
>she's good at blowing dicks
>licks my balls while stroking my shaft
>doesn't just suck, but works with her tongue and plays with my foreskin
>pretty good
>close my eyes and concentrate on cumming
>"Aren't you going to fuck my pussy?"
>the thought of it makes me go soft again
>she's a quick learner and starts stroking my shaft while licking my balls
>"Tell me when you're about to cum"
>tell her that I'm close
>she grabs a tissue out of nowhere as soon as I start cumming
>cum into tissue
>still, she was pretty good
>spent 30 minutes there
>paid 50$ for a blowjob

there's more. lactating hookers, hookers with infants sleeping in the same room. boy oh boy

kek, that's fucking gross

Tell us more bro, we need entertainment
Better then Just jacking off every hour

>high af on Xanax
>get cheap Asian hoe
>speaks no English
>bust in ten mins to the smell of Ramen
>she starts speaking to me in an Asian language
>didn't even think was a real language when I heard it
>I reply in English she doesn't know what I'm saying
>keeps talking to me in Asian
>I reply saying exactly what she said
>she keeps talking
>I start making up Asian words
>tak kanchi tik
>fonay mau foy
>chi Mancha tak
>nai ma fayt chi
>this goes on for 15 mins
>I say "may canchaki foy" and get my stuff and leave.

Like a true gentleman

Alright.

So let me tell you about my business trip to a town some 125 miles away.

>have to wake up at 5am
>im a person who wakes up around 8-9am naturally
>raging morning wood that quickly goes away after a double espresso
>inside car at 6am
>here comes the long drive
>more coffee(this is important at a later stage)
>driving stick like a real man
>something feels off
>turns out I still have wood that's rubbing against my jeans
>well, one more thing I have to take care off
>drive and daydream about scoring some small town pussy tonight
>look in rear view mirror and give myself a serious evaluation
>haven't shaved for two weeks
>look pretty exhausted
>good ol' Trucker Route 66 fragrance
>no way I can score looking this way
>hookers it'll be
>arrive 2 hours later
>booked best hotel in town
>go to front desk
>"Hello I have a reservation"
>guy starts doing his shit
>casually looking around
>"Can I have your ID please?"
>pic related
>"Can I get late night room service here?"
>"We have a restaur"
>"No, no, no. I need a late night room service"
>wink
>I fucking winked
>"I don't think I understand sir"
>"Can you provide me an escort for the night?"
>Thousand yard stare
>I dun goofed
>Consequences will never be the same
>Guy's just staring at me with hatred and disgust in his face
>Awkward silence
>Realize he doesn't have my ID
>Just turn around and walk out
>Great, now I have no place to stay
>But I have more options
>Cheap hookers it'll be

cont.

Attached: autismjustkickedinyo.gif (400x400, 104K)

>go on about with my day
>all errands done around 6pm
>time to surf the information super highway
>find local newspaper website
>classifieds!
>there's listings for massage services
>score
>almost none have pictures
>shady af
>find one ad that has a picture and somewhat reasonable description
>decide to call it
>weary voice picks it up
>"Hi, I'm calling about the ad"
>"Handy is ten, BJ fifteen and thirty gives you the full package. No hotels"
>"Do you have your own place?"
>"Yes, it's located in X"
>fuck
>that's the area where people get stabbed
>why do I always get myself into this
>contemplate life for a bit
>decide to go for it
>ask her if there are any motels or hotels around where I can stay after
>"You can stay here for 40 extra"
>doesn't sound too bad, right?
>drive to said area
>find one working street lamp and park my car under it
>smoke a cigarette whilst evaluating life choices
>possible stabbers lurking around
>ring her again
>tells me the exact address
>it's an old wooden building
>looks like it's going to collapse soon
>oh boy
>still not stabbed

cont.

Why does no one pre-type there green text?

Are any of you fucks reading this or am I wasting my time typing it?

>go up to second floor
>knock on door
>she opens
>cheap perfume hits my nostrils like Zyklon B hits the showers
>she's around 5'6
>140lbs
>curly brown hair
>some of it seems to have been dyed dark purple some time ago
>sporting a pair of big tits
>wearing jeans and a tshirt
>not so bad
>realize she's wearing sunglasses
>start thinking about her shooting up meth and possible stabbers waiting inside
>politely ask her to take off her sunglasses
>she does
>nothing wrong
>apparently she likes wearing sunglasses inside
>enter apartment
>smells like mold
>feel drag from floor
>its in a pretty bad shape
>she closes the door behind me
>eh better than nothing
>small talk
>she invites me into the living room
>go inside and see a couch, a messy twin bed and a mystery box that's covered with a black sheet in the corner
>I wonder what's in there
>this is also important later on

Attached: Blank+_bafbed8a07211dc43c3d79015b20eea4.png (213x326, 82K)

I fucking know right
I'm just sitting here with my dick in my hand waiting

>she tells me to go and freshen up
>gladly agree
>go inside bathroom
>remember that double espresso and 3 more coffees during the day?
>hear insides rumble
>main thrusters ready
>clench asshole shut
>sweating
>turn on shower
>barely make it to the toilet
>unleash a stream of liquid shit
>foul rotten smell hits my nose
>stench is unbearable
>gag a little
>turns out ventilation isn't working
>there is no ventilation at all
>shit, wipe, flush down
>get inside shower
>it's hot and steamy
>wash in hopes she won't notice
>exit shower
>still smells like ass
>put on bath robe and slippers, leave bathroom
>she's been waiting for me at the entrance
>as soon as I exit she enters
>still can smell it
>she cough-gags
>closes and locks door

cont.

Attached: 1519198097314.jpg (233x217, 9K)

im lurking

what the fuck am I bout to read

Hookers and strippers are my biggest weakness in life

Yeah bro, reading, so far so good

go on

>move to a new city
>get settled, buy groceries connect fiber
>go to a strip club
>tip the first girl $20 to tell me which girls there are working
>get introduced to a 10/10 18 year old
>ask her if she'll do private dance after work in hotel room
>agrees under the condition of bringing bodyguard (friendzoned meathead)
>gives private dance no sex for $100
>call her again a week later
>meets me in hotel room
>no bodyguard this time
>gives private dance for $100
>ask her if she wants to make more money
>sucks my dick for $50
>call her again a week later
>fuck her for an hour for $300
>don't call her for two weeks
>she calls me
>offers discount
>fucks me for an hour for $150
>she now comes over to my house and fuck me for $100 an hour
>calls it a regular discount
>gives me a special 15 minute rate $40
>isn't an escort fucking 8-12 guys a day
>still has that new car smell, shy innocent and naive.

>hear her taking a shower
>awkwardly pacing around the room
>finally sit down on the bed
>it's still messy
>just browse Sup Forums on my phone
>hear door unlock
>here comes the stabbing!
>fortunately no
>she comes out wearing a rather nice night gown
>smiles at me
>still wearing sunglasses
>im definitely going to get AIDS
>seductively walks towards me
>says money goes upfront
>put 30$ on night stand
>she asks me to take off my bathrobe and lay down
>gets on top of me
>im laying down with my face inside the pillows
>they smell rather fresh
>on the other hand everything smells like cheap perfume
>does she buy this stuff by the gallon?
>starts giving me a light massage
>feel her naked pussy grind on my naked back
>start getting hard
>let out a moan indicating her she's ready
>give a quick glance to the mystery box of wonders in the corner
>its probably nothing
>tell her I want to fuck her
>she gets up and I turn around
>she already has a condom in her hand
>puts it on using her mouth
>now this is what I call room service

cont.

I'm still listening, go on

I need completion in my life

Do continue

>grinds on top of me
>pretty good
>pussy feels very loose
>decide to switch positions
>go into doggy style
>pounding her from behind
>notice she has huge ass hemorrhoids
>my subconsciousness already puts two and two together
>but my consciousness tells me to keep pounding
>eventually run out of breath
>can't really come with a condom on
>pussy is loose
>out of breath
>shouldn't smoke a pack a day
>pull out and tell her to get on top of me again
>she quickly turns off the night light as I pull out
>lay down
>shes on top of me again
>pull down her night gown
>boobies jiggling around
>decide to give them a good ol' squeeze
>feel something running down my palms and in between my fingers
>shes lactating
>"I gave birth recently hope that is okay"
>TMI
>too late now
>keep grinding baby
>suddenly hear baby crying
>mfw
>she says sorry
>says I'll get a discount
>gets up
>walks to the mystery box
>takes off sheet
>its a baby crib
>theres a toddler inside
>mfw

Attached: 20180303221237.png (1778x1008, 1.56M)

>be me in bahrain because military
>there's a hotel in downtown manama where a ton of hookers hang out for the foreign clientele
>find a fucking beautiful teen, she's thai
>pay her mamasan after some negotiating, we go back to her place
>refuse a condom when offered because i'm fucking drunk
>fuck her in the pussy for awhile, feelsgoodman
>flip her around, press my dick gently into her ass
>she doesn't resist
>i ask "can i do this?"
>she kinda whimpers and nods
>fit my dick in with no lube
>it's so fucking tight
>go low at first, then faster and faster
>she's got her nails in my arm, later found out she broke the skin she was clutching so tight
>cum and pull out
>my dick is bloody
>i point to it and say "come on"
>she hesitantly sucks it
>tip her an extra 10 BD

>gives the baby a pacifier
>comes back to bed
>almost soft at this point
>takes my dick and starts stroking it
>asks me if I'll stay
>politely decline
>shes visibly upset
>gives me the most unenthusiastic handjob in history
>squeeze out a few drops of cum
>i didn't ask for this
>lay down on the bed
>she's busy with the baby
>I should've known better
>give her 50 dollars
>tell her she did alright
>leave in silence
>get inside car and spend the night parked at the beach
>smoking and thinking about life choices
>eventually drift to sleep
>wake up from cops knocking in my window
>250$ fine for parking on the beach
>another 30$ fine for sleeping inside car
>doesn't matter had sex

Fucking beautiful

That story had a lot of soul.

asshole cops who knocked in your window just because of that tho

Geez, this world is falling apart

Fucking hell these are total boner killers. Anyone else who isn't an Amerifat and can tell a decent hooker story without the shady stabby shit.
Something more Amsterdam or Berlin-like.
Ffs legalize it you dumb fucks

this is why you must never fuck people on craigslist

i have had good and bad experiences but i gotta say the balance is not good

Another quick one

>go out with a few friends
>we all get drunk
>decide to grab some hookers
>I have a cabin in a remote place
>one guy rings up a few good time girls
>manages to persuade them to come with us
>250$ from a person
>4 guys and 3 hookers
>guy driving didn't drink and apparently doesn't want to cheat on his wife
>arrive at cabin
>gotta act fast
>quickly persuade the prettiest one to raw dog
>cum inside
>now we play the waiting game
>few hours later see faithful sober guy eating out pretty girl
>hes totally into it
>reenactment of Irish potato famine end feast in Ultra HD
>shes totally into it telling him to keep going
>fucking cuck probably knew what happened
>rest of guys bitch and brag about pretty girl not freshening herself up before the job
>quietly kek

not an american.

Amsterdam hooker story
>be walking around De Wallen
>breast implants, lip job and a cheesy uniform
>you wanna fuk da police?
>yeah
>€75 for 30 minutes
>wash quickly
>fuck her for 5 minutes
>cum
>your time is up bye

man i now know and appreciate why no prostitutes here charge less than 200 usd for 30 minutes (and, yes, it is legal here)

Fuck you

>$30

man thats a nasty cheap ass hooker
user you got aids

Attached: 1516032525676.gif (260x145, 1.12M)

>won like $900 on poker machine
>first time gambling
>fuck it go a hooker
>first time
>scared as fuck
>get a bag to help me
>had a big cocaine fuelled root

probs never do it again tbh, way to nervous

beautiful.Thanks for sharing.