Wake up with a bad taste in your mouth and a sore throat

>wake up with a bad taste in your mouth and a sore throat
>turn and see this on the floor next to your bed

wat do

Freeze myself.

Kiss your wife good morning and go to work

do you think getting your stomach pumped would get rid of it? if so I overdose and call 911

Post on tumblr, complaining that I have been raped.

They pop from the chest, not the stomach.

go to ER

And then get locked up so Wayland can experiment on you? Fuck that.

take the .357 off my nightstand and blow my head to smithereens

>wat do
Go to an anti-Trump rally.

lmao

underrated

Cum in my mouth and swallow. Two can play this game

stab the baby and call 911

You've just poured the most corrosive acid known to man into your chest cavity.

What if i open a hole in my chest and pull it out?

Go eat some chinese food obviously. What could go wrong?

Write a note, asking the first person who reads the note to bring me a robot body.
Cut off my own head in a way, so that it lands in a freezer.
Then wait.

Book a ticket to Israel.

I believe in aliens they said something like that the alien's cells give you hyper cancer so even if you kill the alien your still doomed or some other horse shit.

eat a tum

Kill myself before it kills me. That'll teach it.

>known to man
this is objectively wrong and I really hope you stop being such a fucking idiot.

Parker was right all along.

>freeze him and bring him back to Earth
>company can presumably remove the Alien and do what they want with it
>everybody lives
>Parker gets a full share for coming up with the solution, thus resolving the bonus situation once and for all

Go to an Anti-Trump protest.

FUCK YOU

I don't get it

Jump in a volcano.

drink bleach to kill both me and the ayylmao inside me

Phone Michael Buerk

Smoke some cigarettes and weed

Eat some poo so the ayy comes out covered in poo and he'll be all "oh dang I'm so embarrassed"

After surgery company has you and all other members of your ship executed

Jump behind someone.

Ask about the bonus situation

That shit's going to eat right through your skin.

It's more like the most fucked-up paralysis tick, trying to remove the embryo provokes a stress reaction that poisons the host. Considering the kind of metabolism required to secrete such strong acid, and the embryo being hooked into the hosts bloodstream, it would be extremely difficult to prevent it from shooting the host full of toxins. IIRC the surgery logs in Aliens mentioned trouble with even sedating the host for surgery without setting off the little bastard.

>Cum in my mouth and swallow. Two can play this game
HAHAHAHAHA!!!

For what purpose?

Even if they start using Aliens as weapons, none of them would know that the final stage Aliens are related to what the crew discovered at all.

fucking kek

So, let me get this straight.

The alien Queen produces this larvae so that it can infect a host and produce an hybrid that can't even reproduce...

How is that not inneficient as fuck?

>How is that not inneficient as fuck?
it is, that is why the doctor in AR said the queen became "perfect" when she gave live birth to already badass alien.

Kinda not dissimilar from how ants or other queen colonies work, they seem to be doing okay.

Just have a popsicle and watch some Barney. You'll get it in a few years.

they're the only people who could expose the connection between the company and the aliens, 100% liability

But ants and the like are fully functioning individuals, like if the facehuggers converted into a full xenomorph, but they don't, they need another host so the seed planted by the facehugger can develop into a more powerful creature.

they do have larval stages, so not really fully functional

I'd meet with George soros and fulfill my mission

>can't even reproduce
Just like asexually reproducing species of ants; if a Queen is not present, a worker ant will metamorphose into a Queen.

Blow gut then head, be considerate.

kinda. They usually come out of just under the rib cage.

And they do gestate in the stomach. I mean acid for blood? stomach acid? makes sense.

what a bunch of degenerates.

Day of the stomp when?

head over to taco bell

if it had a dick i'd want it on my face again

This is one of those times I wish it was ok to talk about Sup Forums in public. Cuz this shit is hilarious.

Many organisms require symbiotic relationships to fulfill their life cycle; female mosquitos need a blood meal to produce eggs, bot fly larvae burrow into living hosts, many plant seeds are unviable until they've passed through a digestive tract...

They gestate in the chest cavity. The Facehugger proboscis goes down the bronchi and taps into the hosts bloodstream and feeds it nutrients and oxygen while implanting the embryo. It doesn't just lay eggs in the stomach and expect the host to magically not choke to death.

Underrated post

Get an abortion

use the prometheus ayybortion lmao machine

My bet is that if the host dies before the embryo is ready to pop the fucking thing probably dies right there or detach to attempt to look for life elsewhere.

In any case the best bet would be to call 911, then induce cardiac and respiratory failure and hope paramedics can interpret the alien egg and the note where my plan is explained beside the bed as a hint.

It probably has like only 10 or 20% chances of working which is more than the 0% chances you get if the damn thing hatches from your chest...
And yes, sure, is a bad plan but hey i am with a lot of stress right now having an alien embryo inside of my chest and all that...

they're weapons

...

Did yall niggas like Prometheus?

They are not weapons. We all know this Prometheus retcon shit doesn't count.

finally ask my friend Tina out. Wind up fucking her, fall in love etc, then die a few days later.

actually that just made me SUPER sad, so im gonna go text her now.

thx Sup Forums

Fap vigorously one last time

I've got a shotgun next to the bed. Time for buckshot mouthwash.

Jesus I wish resurrection had a better script what wasn't written by whedon.

>tfw ants have thrown off the shackles of patriarchy

>produce an hybrid that can't even reproduce...
Who said the hybrid couldn't reproduce. It's got its own dick tucked in its own pussy.

How else do you explain an alien creature evolving to use another completely alien creature as the sole means of reproduction?

go to hospital, they can obviously remove it with surgery

>sole means of reproduction?
Who say's its the sole means of reproduction. The queen didn't come around until Aliens. You can still find the deleted scene in alien where you see someone being turned into an egg.
Scott also said he always toyed around with the idea that the alien we see in the original is just an orphaned and terrified juvenile of his species, and that they are actually a highly intelligent species with advanced civilization.

Hope I can survive the alien birth, wait till it grows up, and then suck its alien cock.

kill myself

can the alien still hatch if the host dies

>not taking advantage of it and becoming the first man to give birth

wtf are you talking about? your chest cavity is full of lungs and a heart..there's no room.

And the face hugger would have to penetrate something to get the egg in there

I mean if you're one of those people who can survive without a stomach props.

This.

Ask to talk to Hillary urgently.

Nope. Watch AVP. That alien popped out of the nu-Predator's chest after he died.

Do facehuggers come from the stomach too?

>Watch AVP
Why would you tell someone to do this, user?

I... I thought it was entertaining, user...

I'll admit that it can be a bit of a guilty pleasure.

Requiem is an abomination, though.

Xenomorphs are shit tier as a bioweapon. Nobody discusses this.

I wouldn't claim to even as a shitpost.

How the fuck did the alien homeworld in the alien books/comics work?
like what did the aliens there use as hosts/food?

This des

I don't really have any reliable means to kill myself. Perhaps I would make my final moments count if you catch my drift. But first I would post it all over Sup Forums and Reddiit so people know there's aliens out there.

Humans are a better weapon race than the xenomorphs.

Aliens were part of a vaster ecosystem. I think it was mentioned somewhere that they might not even be the apex predators of their planet.

Nearby hives and queens competed for a number of prey species.

its nolan tier retarded

>le kill myself so the alien dies
Why would you want that? I'd die happily knowing an alien is about to run about town and cause a global FREAK.

it would be extremely painful

Place my cock underneath the facehugger, fold it like a mexican taco then use it as a cock sleave until i cam

sorry english is mad.

I made that mistake while drunk a couple times. One guy thinks I'm a serial killer because I explained what a rekt thread was.

So your answer is "straight from cameron's ass."

I'm just telling you what I remember from the comics, user.

There's nothing concrete about the aliens' origins.

>they're the only people who could expose the connection between the company and the aliens, 100% liability
Liability of what? They'll sell the Aliens as weapons to governments. Weyland Yutani isn't just gonna keep the Aliens around to do nothing when they could presumably make tons of money selling them instead.

Aliens originated on the pages of a script dumb dumb. It's the Sequel to Alien.

Lmao are you some sort of idiot???