I come to you today asking for your opinions on dating. More specifically, getting back together with an ex.
>be me >be with girl for 10ish years >we break up >she was gone all the time >probably cheating >I pack my shit and leave >have kid together so have to stay in contact >we stay broken up for an entire year >I fuck a bunch of girls >she gets into some edm scene >she fucks a bunch of guys >we start to reconnect >she stays over more and more >eventually we live together >now we’re talking about getting back together >she still goes to “shows” >fucked a few of the guys who go regularly before this >aforementioned guys are still around, tho in a lesser capacity as before > problem for me >she cuts ties so we can repair trust >believe her because fuck you I’ve known her 10 years and you’re reading a post about her
My problem is this. Is it worse to act like I give a fuck about it at all, or pretend like it never happened? Would it be more “alpha” to just act like they arnt shit and I’m not worried, or buckle down on her harder and hawk her to make sure nothing happens? If she fucks up, then I’m out and it’ll never happen again, and she knows that. I’ve got no issue in leaving if she dosent change. My issue is what’s the best way to handle it? Give no fucks, or give all the fucks? Do I just give some fucks some of the time? Should I just try to enjoy the time we have together and let he pieces fall where they may? I need some wisdom Sup Forumsros.
tl;dr getting back with ex after long breakup, she still ends up around guys she fucked when we were apart. Best way to handle it?
Also inb4 cuck, beta, blah blah blah I’m talking about real life and not your moms basement
My self esteem is fine, I said I have no issue in leaving if need be. It’s more of a question of what’s the right way to handle this situation, not just run from it
Let it go. If you trust her, trust her. If you dont, wtf are you doing? I speak from experience.
Chase Diaz
Thank you. First decent response.
Julian Myers
Yw. If you let that shit eat you up inside itll go the same way it did before. I took a lot out on my ex for no reason other than my own jealousy and fear. I finally broke it off after i recognised my actions.
Levi Smith
I think my problem is how does it look to the people in her scene, including the guys she’s fucked and the people who know? Anytime I see a girl I’ve been with, I kind of laugh to myself. Maybe I am just insecure, but does that mean I’m wrong?
Andrew Morales
Leave and keep contact for sake of child. Don't get emotionally connected to her again. If she probably cheated on you, she ain't telling the truth with cutting off contact with dudes she fucks for shits and giggles. Giving a fuck or not, she sees you as a main source of validation. You have a little argument and she's reconnecting those ties. Speaking from experience..hypergamy is real.
Matthew Hughes
just do whatever you think is right man, 99% of this board cant answer this question seriously because they dont have any real relationship experience anyway, just ask yourself if you trust her, and if you love her, dont fuck yourself over this time
Caleb Hill
Are you afraid to go outside because it might rain sometimes?
Colton Bennett
I'm afraid to go outside because OP is a faggot
Joseph Sanchez
I do love her, but the trust can be hard sometimes.
I don’t think that acting like nothing happened and I don’t know shit is right, but it’s easy to be over protective.
I think the right answer is to lay back, acknowledge the past, and use a light touch with the control
Jackson Morales
Really, if you have a shade of doubt towards her, don't keep it up. If she's cheated once, she will do it again, this time perfecting her techniques to not get caught. Women who cheat don't change- speaking from a woman's perpspective with half of her friends being respectable homemakers and the other half being squirt 'n skert sluts who hit anything, regardless of relationship status. Be w/ someone you'd believe would kill their own mother before cheating on you. P.s. if you have the kid and go off and on too much, instills major daddy issues and will make the child want relationships just like yours.
No, but I'd be afraid to go outside if I went outside one day and a 7 foot tall black man rammed my asshole out of the blue
Joseph Bell
Me too.
Jackson Reyes
OP, I don't have as much experience or anything, but I've been cheated on, kind of. I looked through my exes phone early into our relationship and she heavy flirted with a guy, but he lived literally across the country. They knew each other for about a year before I met my ex. So... I told myself I trusted her but I looked through her phone from that point on anytime I had a chance. The trust was gone. After a year I found out he was going to travel all the way across the country to visit her, and their conversation was hyper sexual. I broke up with her and he came to our city a week later and spent a week with her. It fucked with me emotionally big time, especially because we kind of kept in contact, texting here and there. Honestly OP I'd say don't do it. It's very, VERY rare that you're gonna be able to truly let things go, much more likely you'll become like me and invade her privacy all the time to try and find out if she's cheating on you.
Elijah Young
Thank you. Taken under advisement.
I’ve always said you can’t make a ho a housewife. We’ve both cheated, and we’re both good looking enough to fuck other people if we want. I hate to say it, and it’s gay as fuck, but she’s one of my best friends too. Her mom was a total slut to this day, and I’ve known her for 11 years now, dated for 10 of them, so I know her mentality. We’ve grown up together.
As far as finding a girl who absolutely won’t cheat on you, that sounds so boring. No risk, no danger, just the same baseline all the time. Same reason I won’t work in a cubicle
And the kids autistic so I don’t think that’ll matter much
Jaxon Wilson
I'm I know how you feel my man, my ex and I were close friends for 4 years before we started dating. She quickly became my best friend, and we let each other in fully. I remember one time I brought up something with her best friend and her best friend had no idea what I was talking about. She opened up to me more than any other person, and visa versa. That's when I realized we were best friends, and that's what hurt the most. The idea that she'd betray her best friend and lover, it really did a number on me.
Lincoln Peterson
Jealousy is the ender of all relationships so I would say move on past.
You absolutely have to maintain the mentality that you could trade her for another more attractive woman at any moment in time. Act like it.
Cooper Russell
Weve both cheated, we’ve both been stupid and selfish. People do dumb shit, that’s life. I appreciate your feedback tho. Thank you
Ian King
That way you're still acting alpha even though you took her back.
The question is, did you take her back after she cheated?
If she cheated, then she will never respect you and its sad to say that you shouldn't get back with her. Cheating is the ultimate disrespect, and if she knows you can look past that then who knows what she's capable of.
Plenty of fish in the sea. Is it even worth it? Did she work on self improvement? Is she a much better person now, genuinely? If not, what is the point????
Logan Garcia
It’s be more alpha to just leave her ass. Option A- you’re a cuck Option B- you’re a whiny bitch My option- she just doesn’t matter
Julian King
Excellent point. Thank you.
Made me think that maybe I’m more insecure than i realize or willing to admit. Very enlightening.
Again, we’ve both cheated. The cheating isn’t really the issue at hand. I can easily walk away if need be, but I’m not afraid of the work, fights, challenge. She’s worth it to me. I’m not some neck beard who’s lining over one girl who fucked him, she’s not some girl I dated for a month and we split up. It’s bigger than that, the stakes are higher
Jaxon Jackson
I also want to add that you should do a lot of reading about PUA. It's extremely important. Join a forum. Look up PUA videos.
You have to commit to learning about how to reframe your mind so that your INNER GAME is much more alpha. It will help you incredibly in other aspects in life too as confidence is universal.
Good luck.
Charles Lee
I kind of get it. If it can work, the child can benefit huge from an example of a loving relationship. But if it's going to be a disaster, you don't need that influence in your child's life either.
Nicholas Lee
Neither a cuck nor a whiny bitch
Composed and introspective
Joshua Nelson
Will look into that ASAP
Yes, I am Elon Musk
Xavier Brown
More or less, but who’s come from a perfect family?
Cameron Clark
I genuinely don't have anything to offer to OP since I don't have kids and I haven't been *that* committed to a person yet in my life, but seriously, this dude isn't a cuck. To anyone saying he's some beta cuck fag obviously haven't had real relationships, let alone a child they have some amount of care towards.
Bentley Torres
Damn, thank you bro. That means a lot
Isaac Gutierrez
Thank you to everyone who replied, even the shit posting. Love you faggots
Jaxon Gutierrez
I feel bad for the kid
Levi Flores
you decided to take her back so you better act like that shit doesn't bother you otherwise why the fuck did you get back with her if it did? communicate with her, let her know you worry at times but you are trying to start a new chapter for lack of a better phrase and she is either in it or not and that's up to her and her choices then go about your life like you normally would while trying to keep an eye on shit and make sure you ain't gettin cucked if you ever get the gut feeling that some shit is goin on behind your back bring it up, if you still get that gut feeling that something isn't right make like a tree and get the fuck out of there.
Jaxson Howard
Imo if you are "alpha" and had your fun aswell, fuck what happend and go for her. If you want to be a whiny bitch about what happend go for it aswell, and move on. in my personal opinion, if i'd love her, id take it > inb4 she had nuggers
Ian Torres
i was going to give some decent advice but then i read all that spaghetti shit that came out of your brain at the bottom and the condescending inb4 tldr\
have fun with your fucked up life bitch
Jace Kelly
Let me take a moment to be a serious voice on this matter. I'm going through a similar situation. Theres a girl in my life that I've gottan pretty serious with. Problem is she used to be a pretty big slut (thanks New Jersey). I'm doing my best to help guide her out of it, and shes very receptive to it because she realizes being with me is the best thing thats happened in a long time.
You just have to manage the balance between the "fuck those other boys who dont matter" and tightening the reigns a bit when it seems like she might fuck up. Just be up front with her, be confidant, but not lackadaisical
Wyatt Clark
>Would it be more "alpha" to... You gave up any chance at alpha when you gave enough of a shit about other people's opinion to ask advice on Sup Forums about what would be the best way to handle your relationship
Josiah Sullivan
Let her know about your concern but trust her. If you truly wanna get back for altruistic reasons, then give it an honest chance, otherwise let her go. It’s not fair to you, her, or your kid to waste time and be unhappy.
