To celebrate the release of fantastic beasts. Post Potter Kino

To celebrate the release of fantastic beasts. Post Potter Kino.

youtube.com/watch?v=UZzlnIuYfMk

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=2ZFmyULHT8k
youtube.com/watch?v=ZE9rtMB1TfQ
youtube.com/watch?v=A7V8XMgltCc
fanfiction.net/s/3943025/1/Antithesis
pastebin.com/wwtmhSKY
youtube.com/watch?v=tWF2xab1K2g
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Don't get me wrong, I'd love nothing more than to celebrate the arrival of a film based on a new novel from the author of one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises, but I can't for the life of me think of a related video clip to post in this thread. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

The custom contextual intro you keep adding always looks stupider each time you make a new one but it makes me laugh that you're trying to trick people into reading the pasta by disguising it like that

its always bothered me that this wand looked like some kind of a sex toy,
is it just me?

Doing a marathon of the Harry Potter films before I watch this

So far, I only enjoyed the first 3,with Chamber being my favorite.

4, 5, and 6 just don't match up. I never read the books but a lot of the story seems to have been gutted or dropped for the film adaption. New characters are introduced but are never developed. Malfoy seems like a complete waste of a character after the 2nd film. Helena Bonham Carter ruins everything, and the deaths of Cedric, Sirius and Dumbledore are completely anti-climactic. Half-Blood Prince treats the title plot as a subplot, and then refuses to do anything significant with it other than do a title drop at the last second. I completely forgot about the Half-Blood Prince since they never brought up again in the 2nd or 3rd act.

A lot of the films also seems to be loaded with useless filler. This makes me wonder what I could possibly be up against with 7,a film split into 2 parts. If David Yates couldn't decide what to film and what to toss with a 2 hour and 30 minutes running time, what the hell could he do with 5 hours?

>Helena Bonham Carter ruins everything, and the deaths of Cedric, Sirius and Dumbledore are completely anti-climactic.
wew my lad

hes right yknow.
Tho in the case of Cedric, I think its meant to be that way.

>hes right
'no'

That pic is a joke right? if not, shit taste x1000000

youtube.com/watch?v=2ZFmyULHT8k

So this is the movie going from the trailer:
>protagonist fucks up and releases the macguffin creature(s) it's unclear
>In resolving it he inadvertently or deliberately reveals magic to a non-magic person and said person becomes comic relief/side-kick
>They travel to magical place and capture the creature and (presumably) succeed
>But said reveal of magic creates a debate about whether magic should be hidden or not
>This devolves into some kind of warfare
>Also some kind of magical terrorism/entity occurs and a portal appears threatening to kill everyone or something?
>Probably ends on a bullshit cliffhanger as a lead into the next film.
How correct am I?

>celebrate

That the author of a book series is still raping its dead corpse?

HP 1 & 2 were acceptable films.
3 threw the tone out of the window and added unnecessary extras and stupid jokes.
4 was a bad film, mostly because it was a bad book.
5 was completely forgettable.
6 was only memorable because it was the film where NOTHING happened and the final twist was like "oh yeah, that guy with the book, I guess".
7 was only good for killing off that shithole Dobby.
8 was awful.
The Cursed Child was an absolute joke, with mental trolley ladies, time-travelling Nazi love children, and fag bum moments between the leads.

And this is just another bit to add to it. Take what has always been a British-feeling world and put it in New York, changing all the names of things for no reason, and completely ruining the comfy of Hogwarts (which is all anyone really cared about). It reeks of desperation, just like any time she tweets about some current affair with a reference to how it's like something in her books. She just wants to try to stay relevant in a world that doesn't actually like her writing (got turned down under a pseudonym).

>7 was only good for killing off that shithole Dobby
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GET OFF OF MY BOAAAARD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

nice trips tho

anyone recommend some good fanfics?

Something like that. Apparently Grindelwald is going to be in some of the films.

Saw it today, you're like half right on 3 or 4 of the points.

It looks like it's either rushed and ADHD-esque or just 4 hours long

Rushed. A bit. Pretty fun flick, with some genuinely cool ideas in what i previously considered to be a bit of a stale universe. It's a little bit YA, but i basically let that slide cause it's the type of YA that i grew up on.

ha, you reminded me of the Harry Potter™ tie in toy, a plastic broom to "ride", when you pushed a button to make a whoosh sound effect, it VIBRATED between your legs

Is the new film gonna be full of loud angry American women?

Original had lots of snappy British nanny type characters.

>mental trolley ladies
Christ, I'd forgotten about the Trolley Terminator.
Reminds me of the Star Wars EU that made everyone the main characters met into some important character

really makes oy u think

cant do it
the cast is too grossly unlikable
especially that autist looking guy who played hawking
fuck him, just looking at his sperged face makes me upset - even cumberbatch's deformity is more tolerable

hogwarts or bust: youtube.com/watch?v=ZE9rtMB1TfQ

you are 100% right. The first 3 movies were decent adaptions, and after that they get shittier and shittier, by changing the plot for the worse, and somehow making the hundreds of pages of entertaining filler that are the harry potter books and making them boring

they absolutely rekt 4 and 5, which were good books


i thought book 6 < movie 6 tho

Ignore anyone who says Methods of Rationality.

It's a classic case of someone wanting to write their own book, but wanting to leech off a pre existing fanbase and knowing deep down that they're not good enough.
None of the characters have anything more than a trace of them left save from the names, he constantly shoves his OC shit where it doesn't belong, and he's so far up his own ass that he views the world from his mouth

I've had some good suggestions in other threads (A Black Comedy and Concentric Wavelengths)

that one where like hitler goes back in time and has a threesome with God and Jesus

won't have anything to do with that english whore after the panama papers. Surprised she didn't get blacklisted by the studios, must have worked that couch pretty hard.

6 and 4 were easily my least favorite, especially since 6 was when they did away with verbal spells altogether and made wands magic guns

>mfw it wasnt that good

I enjoyed it, but you could tell the script was fucked with to accommodate lots more films

??? explain pls

I enjoyed the showing how the beasts lived scene but the whole destruction of new york thing is over done
And how the chick kinda knew the crazy kid and was able to calm him even though we were only told she knew him n not showed their relationship
Also you could tell from the first scene who the dark wizard was

I assume he means Emma Watson, who is a grade A hypocrite over tax dodging.

I also assume he doesn't know she's not in it. I'd be amazed if he means Rowling, given how much of a lefty she is.

>Wizarding World
>where wizards have one billion useless spells and would lose against any muggle with a gun
Call me when they learn Stoneskin, Death Ward, Contingency, Celerity, Protection from Missiles

Mark Twain in shit tier.
Yeah no, go back where you came from heretic.

Nah, I think Cedric's death was supposed to be a bigger deal than it was portrayed in the movie, considering they're still talking about it in the next movie. I'm going to blame the lack of impact on the fact that Cedric's barely in the movie. To my recollection, he's in the movie

>At the beginning
>When Harry tells him about the dragons
>When he tells Harry to listen to the egg thing underwater.
>At the maze/cemetary

That's not exactly a lot of time to warm up to a character.

He's half right.

It was supposed to be an impact, but at the same time it was also supposed to be sudden.

It was good. Enjoyable to a certain degree, although expectations on Potter films are rock fucking bottom. Final act is just typical Marvelesque drivel where a city is destroyed and then saved and rebuilt, what is this, Doctor Strange? Oh, wait.

But the characters and the setting definitely pull it through, having proper actors doing it as opposed to a bunch of awkward teenagers obviously helps.

Porpentina a cute.

Cedric's death is a big deal to hogwarts. he's literally the alpha of the school. as in the best student, a genuinely nice guy, a really good quidditch player, and iirc from a really good family.

he's literally the best student in the school and probably the best in the wizarding world for his age at the time of his death (he was going to win the triwizard tournament if harry hadn't secretly had his hand held by Crouch the whole way through). the movies didn't really have the opportunity to show all of this.

fuck me sideways, your right. I've been bombarded with beauty and the beasts discussion lately and my worlds crossed over for a moment

>HP 1
I wonder if the girl playing Hermione is going to turn hot when she grows up?
>HP2
Hey, I think the girl playing Hermione is going to turn hot when she grows up!
>HP3
Oh fuck, Hermione's HOT!
>HP4
Who's that old chick?

I liked The Lie I've Lived and Harry Potter and The Boy Who Lived

Are you implying Helena Bonham Carter is way useless whore?

That was also on the list of recommendations (lie I lived wasnt named but someone said all jbern's fics were good)

This fucking pasta again.

>t-t-that pic is a joke right? i like geek culture oriented kiddie shit and consider it art.

That was pretty disappointing. U could throw away entire "magic beasts" and it wouldn't be any worse. Plus sidekick characters are much less blank than main ones.

>None of the characters have anything more than a trace of them left save from the names

but thats why its good

though i agree the writer IS up his own ass

Is there any hype for this in the US? In Europe it seems like they've decided it doesn't even need publicity.

When did you first notice the influence of tumblr on harry potter discussion Sup Forums?

>Post Potter Kino.
youtube.com/watch?v=A7V8XMgltCc

These are the only reason I come to harry potter threads

glad you agree

anyone here read renegade cause?

HP7 part2
Who is that broad and why is she white?

is it Post-Potter Kino or do you want us to post examples of Potter kino?

You could see her tits growing during that movie.
Going from this...

...and this...

any other good fanfics?

just read this one shot and it was bretty good

fanfiction.net/s/3943025/1/Antithesis

...to this.
Better visible in that pic:

thats just a bigger bra

Filming took place over eight months and tits grow quickl once they're past stage 2 on the Tanner scale.

It might have something to do with the position of her arms/shoulderblades, but the increase does indeed look significant.
That one might be just due to the outfit though.

>Potter Kino
Cringe

pastebin.com/wwtmhSKY

I kind of retired, please spread this for me whenever you can

whats with childish millenials and their love for harry shitter?

unforgiving minute is what im reading right now

shit is dope

>ban evading
You know what to do with this cancerous Sup Forums crossie lads

I was never banned for posting fics, dude, I just actually stopped posting

just finished unforgiving minute

damn that was good

I love your dedication

Is the new movie actually good or just hollywood bait?

A good way to find out if someone is an absolute pleb is if they prefer the first two HP films to the rest.

Goblet, Prisoner, and Deathly Hallows 1 are pleb filters.

Not correct enough

Its better than that

>Deathly Hallows 1
Pleb shit, redpleb

only a little bit

side characters saved it 2bh

Alison Sudol's smile melted my heart

>A Harry Potter movie that stars adults instead of little children

Magic is for particularly unimaginative children. Especially the bullshit hand wave magic that is in the Harry Potter universe.

Why does this look like it's geared more toward young adults? Is this movie for actual literal man children? If you are above the age of 12 and are still into Harry Potter you're the most basic of plebeians.

Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness

DHP1 is literally kino: the movie. Harry+Hermione camping adventures were /comfy/ af, Ron and Ginny were both shit-tier by the end, Rowling is a hack for not having Harry and Hermione get together

you know she was going to, right? ron was going to die in place of one of the twins, and ginny would initially blame harry long enough for him to get with hermione

sauce? I read that she regretted not doing it but I never knew she actually planned on it, I just thought it was something in hindsight that she wished she did

This senpai.

The series would have been the ultimate kino if Harry and Hermione, but Hack Rowling had to be contrarian

God that would have been such a better story.

>tfw what could have been and should have been

I agree why does every fuckin thing have to be in New York? If I wanted the quintessentially American city I would choose Chicago tbqh.

However since its early 20th century maybe it needs to be NYC.

Usual hype but I can't tell being an old man who doesn't go to school anymore, I am assuming its going to be a giant hit because people need that Harry Potter lore man, also I myself am hyped to go through the Grindelwald/Dumbledore romance saga so kinda hope this does well.

Romantizing high school/college, lots of bullied kids were jealous of other kids who had awesome experiences in school, humans naturally want to live in a universe where they are consistently discovering or learning new things, most Americans say they never want to grow up now because 11-25 was their favorite time and millennials are getting to 29-35 now and nostalgic.

I can speak for Gen X, we all thought school sucked and everyone has enjoyed their life a lot more, its a culture difference I guess. We kinda had to make our own happy world but millennials had it made for them and the so called real world sucks now.

Saw it a couple of hours ago. Pretty OK. Laughed a lot. SFX are nice, as well as protag
Two questions to people who saw it too:
1. what happened to Obscure which was taken from protag by the bad buy?
2. Was little girl an Obscure too, or was that all her brother's doing?

pastebin.com/wwtmhSKY

its not a good book by any means, but its a great fanfic imo

I'm not sure what the aurorsdid with it, but it had been removed from its host so it was harmless. Newt kept it alive by keeping it in that bubble.

Credence was the only active Obscurus in the movie. Hence the killing of Shaw Jr. (who insulted Credence) at the Citizen Kane'ish speech gathering.

Doings Gods work user. Fanfics exist to right the sins of Hack Rowling

Thanks. I was wondering if I missed anything

Thank god I haven't heard anyone say it was bland.

some say meh but it bretty gud

Then why bother with the names?
What's the point of taking something and changing so much that it's not recognisable?
He also fails the "ancient and noble house" basic reading comprehension test.

Harry Potter is shit, the only good characters in the film were Snake, Hagrid, Richard Harris, Maddy Moddy and Mineral Mconiggell

I didn't even read the OP, I just saw the picture and knew you would be here. Your custom intros make me lol every time.
fpbp

>>Probably ends on a bullshit cliffhanger as a lead into the next film
It's really well ended atually.

harry and hermonie were meant to be together. I only read the 1st book and most of goblet, so im not sure if it was as obvious in the books, but in the movies radcliffe and watson had a lot more obvious onscreen chemistry than rupert who was basically a dopey mope the entire series.
youtube.com/watch?v=tWF2xab1K2g