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op's sister

op’s sister

Pee

Smoke crack every 20 minuets

Op's mom

OPs brother

Pick my fingernails on the corners of notebook paper

Know that there is absolutely nothing I do which no on else does. I have some very rare traits too, which only a few millions share - but that's still millions.

Masturbate by squeezing my legs instead of using my hands to stroke my dick. It actually works.

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Looks like summer started early this year.

hmm.

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spend 5 hours shitting

op's sister

Nah, the nipple suckers are on spring break

tried that is a great way to masturbate if you're tired of the regular way

Op's sister

op's brother

op's cat...
too far?

I jerked off on his face while he took a shit. Shit was so cash.

think that traps are gay but still fap to them

OP himself

Walk around the house while brushing teeth. Can't just stand in one place.

roll up a few sheets of toilet paper and tuck my cock between the toilet seat and myself, done it for 20 years

dude wut? I can't visualize that.

you mean under fingernails? yeah, that's awesome.

>wash feet after getting home from work

Shit squatting in the tub or toilet paper over asshole so water doesnt splash up yer asshole and give you aids. Mite think its gross but toilets are fucking disgusting. You dont squat proper and it splashes up yer ass causing, diseases, hemroids, bleeding, sickness, ect

i do this and hump the sofa too
feels good man

Sometimes I breathe the super cold air coming out of the top of the freezer
I like the cold air going into my lungs

I should do this.. I have had stinky feet for over 5 years

I use my fingernails to push away my teeth and blow spit and air to floss between them

jerk my peepee with my poopoo to shave on lube.

>lean over toilet and piss with my dick pointing straight downward

>plant feet in front of toilet and lean till dick is all the way to one side of toilet. while pissing, slowly pan my cinematic stream from one side of toilet the other

This, but I also dab the end of my cock with a single sheet of TP instead of shaking,

same. i fold the sheet in half twice before the dab

second that, im interested in more details too

I hold my shaft at the low end while stroking with my right to get off and I feel weird doing it.

I play along to music with my ears but don't want my body to move to any of it.

I play keyboard typing games where I try to pull off a strange hand mechanic wiithout attributing much skill to it and then finish like nothing happened.

I make fun of people that are in loving relationships because I have nothing left to live for. Except my son whom I can't see unless I pay child support and I can't get money to pay child support because no one will hire me and I won't get hired until I get nice clothes but I can't afford any and I can't finish school because some of this stuff like Sup Forums and video games or my ex girlfriend and the child support come up and I'm just not allowed to by the rest of the student body.

I complain on the internet a bit

I don't complain at all in real life.

I think to myself and for some reason there's like voices shouting every thing I say type or think out in the "real" world.

I hate asians.

I hate white people.

I hate brown people.

I'm like literally stuck on this planet and have no way out but refuse to die.

I have a scar on my dick from having been cut at the dick and I stroke only from the scar top to the scar bottom and use that as my sense of what to do to make myself nut.

I try to start conversations based on things we can do in the future rather than talk about myself or them because it doesn't matter as long as they want to get drunk and be safe about it all.

I play video games completely unopposed to the other player and try to make myself improve even if it means I have to do all the extra work.

I make video games work and don't intend on getting paid for playing them that way. Like a hobby. Yuck.

I imagine women planted on my penis when I masturbate to them.

I comb my hair to the right.

I hold myself up at the shoulders.

I wish we had a disaster where US soldiers in the millions die and 0 to the enemy.

does anybody else get a chill/goosebumps every time theyre about half way done pissing?

I post arcade game pattern in to wikia because no one knows what these stars and points work

Like every men ever?

5 years and still stink. I just don't know what to do, man

i dont know what to say. seems like you need to speak to a professional user.
we all need to vent.
child custody sucks shit. you need to sort yourself out asap bro.
are you american?

This post has me struggling.. can't make anything out of it

>EOP

Browse XD adventure tales on reddit

Go home fucking Liberal

#NoYou

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really wanna give someone a DDT the time i'm in a fight

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I spit on my carpet sometimes

If I want to throw up I fart in my hand and smell it really fast and it usually works

Fuck dead women.