I'm an atheist

Eli Gutierrez
Eli Gutierrez

I'm an atheist. This is a fact.
It's also a fact that the house I inherited from my late grandmother is haunted.

I'm freaking the fuck out right now. I'm in an old house in the middle of nowhere and I'm hearing screams and voices. My glass of beer knocked itself over while I was looking right at it. Then, every picture on the wall to my left fell off the wall simultaneously. The glass in the frames broke and it was really fucking loud. Then the door to the kitchen slammed itself shut so hard the hinges came loose and the frame splintered. I can hear footsteps upstairs.

I've never bee this afraid in my life.
I'm too scared to leave because it's dark outside and my car won't start. My driveway is half a mile long and then it's at least 12 miles to the nearest gas station, which probably isn't even open right now.

What the fuck am I supposed to do???

Attached: mindblown.jpg (52 KB, 600x600)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=tPwWsXZ3His

Josiah James
Josiah James

Occam's Razor, bitch.

You're having a schizoid episode accompanied by hallucinations, the house isn't fucking haunted.

Next thing to do is book in for a brain scan asap.

Ryan Lopez
Ryan Lopez

Sounds like you're about to die

Andrew Clark
Andrew Clark

Post some pics

Jayden Watson
Jayden Watson

/thread

Mason Lopez
Mason Lopez

I can make it all go away.

Jacob Bailey
Jacob Bailey

nig down Occam's Razor for me

Andrew Gonzalez
Andrew Gonzalez

Try and fuck the ghost. Best course of action.

Owen Reyes
Owen Reyes

dude got some of the good acid

Ian Johnson
Ian Johnson

Why are you afraid?

Cameron Reed
Cameron Reed

athiest finds himself outside of the protection of the Lord and panics
What did you expect to happen?
I bet grandma was a good christian and didn't have any problems living there

Asher Ortiz
Asher Ortiz

Check if it's a Semen Demon

Oliver Bennett
Oliver Bennett

Was your Grandmother Baptist? She's probably mad that your'e drinking a beer in her house.

Ryan Cruz
Ryan Cruz

To be fair if you spend enough time looking at the front page of Sup Forums, the ghost will fuck off because ghosts can't be gay.

Wyatt Reed
Wyatt Reed

I believe you, Op. I've seen a ghost before. IT's incredibly frustrating when no one believes you.

Find a bible. Turn the pages until you find Matthew 6:9-13. Read it out loud until the sun comes up and then get the fuck out of that house. Never go back. Sell it.

Joshua James
Joshua James

It's not haunted - your just in the first throes of your new telekinetic ability. All atheists contract telekinesis sooner or later; harness it, practice it, enjoy it, embrace it. I typed this with my mind

Henry Gray
Henry Gray

Is the Ghost hot? Asking for a friend.

Ryan Martinez
Ryan Martinez

What if the bible is upstairs?

Adam Wilson
Adam Wilson

Most nigged down explanation is the right one. Since it's an old house, odds are the piping is fucking with your senses. And the house is older and contracts more. And is probably giving way to age. And is then also more easily damaged. And most likely has lead paint. And bad airflow.

And you know what? It's an old house. You haven't been in enough of them to know.

Wyatt Davis
Wyatt Davis

Was it a Christian burial or did you forget to bring grandma down from upstairs?

Aiden Martin
Aiden Martin

She's probably trying to get your attention and talk to you.

Do it you won't.

Robert Ross
Robert Ross

Op??

Are you still alive??

Lucas Stewart
Lucas Stewart

Did you relight the pilot light in the furnace. You are probably breathing carbon monoxide

Luis Nelson
Luis Nelson

Occam's Razor is the idea that with all factors being equal, the simplest explanation is the most probable.

So let's assume that there's an equal possibility of:
1) the house being haunted by some supernatural force (of which there's never been any proof), or
2) that you have a chemical/neurotransmitter imbalance that results in visual and auditory hallucinations, which affect more than 3% of the population at some point in their lives

Occam's Razor is about taking these two possible explanations and deciding which is the most simple and therefore probable of the two. Which, in this case, is that you have a mental issue that needs to be examined.

Hunter Jones
Hunter Jones

I've seen a ghost. Looked right at it for more than 2 minutes. Then it looked at me.

I'm not an atheist anymore.

Adrian Lee
Adrian Lee

Explanation 1. It's a ghost.
Explanation 2. the piping is fucking with your senses and the house is older and contracts more and is probably giving way to age and is then also more easily damaged and most likely has lead paint and bad airflow.

Explanation 2 is the correct one, because my atheism blinders force me to insist that it's the simplest explanation.
this is what atheists believe rational thought looks like

Attached: Atheism-is-stupid.jpg (9 KB, 480x360)

Christian Richardson
Christian Richardson

This:
youtube.com/watch?v=tPwWsXZ3His

Camden Cox
Camden Cox

of which there's never been any proof
Aside from Op literally witnessing the proof unfold before his eyes.

Jack Lewis
Jack Lewis

#1 would be the most likely explanation if there was EVER ANY DOCUMENTED EVIDENCE BEYOND 144p YOUTUBE VIDEOS AND GYPSIES

Aaron Torres
Aaron Torres

głupi Amerykanie

Easton Myers
Easton Myers

Implying that hallucinations aren't possible and anything seen with the eyes must be real

Evan Gray
Evan Gray

Yeah, he is totally telling the truth, why would someone lie on Sup Forums.

Dominic Russell
Dominic Russell

This

Kayden Hall
Kayden Hall

get a CO2 detector... you may be dying and not knowing

Jeremiah Bennett
Jeremiah Bennett

lol

Brody Campbell
Brody Campbell

Wait a minute, you just butchered my post. But so you understand, each one of those really simple explanations are really simple and follow from an old house being an old house. Just as well that OP is having a very mental moment. Plus, there can't be any blinders if you're that open to examining the house. Explanation 2 is so matter of fact, you'd have to be insane to not think it's the most probable run-on conclusion.
the joke

Jacob Gonzalez
Jacob Gonzalez

tv or ppl outside (voices)
stuff falling over earthquake
door shut = wind (could also explain the voices)
footsteps upstairs.. idk mang hope it's not a burglar

Adrian Adams
Adrian Adams

Wait a minute, you just butchered my post.
No, he butchered your anus. Literally #rekt

Liam Sanders
Liam Sanders

Did you get any video? Most likely you are just being a faggot, faggot.

Attached: 1492664124522.jpg (67 KB, 606x496)

Adam Evans
Adam Evans

you forgot to point out the fact that you're a faggot.

Jacob Foster
Jacob Foster

90% of this can be explained by wind / earthquak

Sebastian Kelly
Sebastian Kelly

Attached: $AAB.gif (1.98 MB, 415x323)

Adrian Rodriguez
Adrian Rodriguez

And human
And requires oxygen to live

James Price
James Price

Document and then post results?

Pics or it didn't happen.

Isaac Brooks
Isaac Brooks

That would make him a serial faggot.

Daniel Hill
Daniel Hill

im an atheist
Queerlord.

As for your fucking gay ass problem, you're full of shit, hallucinating, or you have an uninvited guest in there with you.

Be the first person ever to get 4K video footage of ghouls running around spooking you like theyre buffoons with nothing else to do if they even did exist. I dare you.
DUBS DARE GETT

Jacob Diaz
Jacob Diaz

hahahahaha

Andrew Perry
Andrew Perry

Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.

Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

Attached: 1490681650911.jpg (18 KB, 234x250)

Christian Sullivan
Christian Sullivan

Is that you tickling my funbag right now? A little rough but Im on board.

Jack Adams
Jack Adams

When i was a kid my mum and step dad taught me ghosts were 100% fact. I spent years trying to find a ghost that i could befriend and rob a bank. Biggest let down of the last 6 months!

Benjamin Campbell
Benjamin Campbell

That is rational

Hudson Kelly
Hudson Kelly

damn

Aiden Rodriguez
Aiden Rodriguez

Now you're in a mental hospital?

Zachary Parker
Zachary Parker

always pushing the anvil lobe aren't you

Owen Powell
Owen Powell

Nope. I'm married, 2 kids and I go to church every Sunday.

Jacob Lopez
Jacob Lopez

I believe you.

Ryder Scott
Ryder Scott

Occam's Razor that shit.

Also I think you're probably lying anyways.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

That said, if you feel you're really seeing shit go to the doctor.

Henry James
Henry James

A man walks into a house and hears footsteps and goes to ghosts. Horse and zebra. Kill the home invader if youre a husband/dad worth his salt.

Cameron Wright
Cameron Wright

Learn about Satanism, tell the spirits the Kingdom of the South, tell them that your aura guides them to the Kingdom of the South, let the demons sort them out and burn some sage in all the rooms with the windows open.

Been a while since I have dealt with a haunted house, really not that big of a deal, dealing with living supernatural species is scarier.

Jonathan Mitchell
Jonathan Mitchell

LOL I hope youre a kidder! You have a mental illness if not, youre life will be better if you seek help.

I fucking love that program "Supernatural Survivor". OH YOU FUCKING HEROES!

Julian Parker
Julian Parker

Sad part is you won't really know until you're dead.

The Jews stole from the far east to make sure you know nothing about your existence and place within the universe, but who hired the Draconians and why?

Anyways, hail Satan you pitiful little bitch.

Attached: sulfur.gif (3 KB, 150x160)

Luis Reyes
Luis Reyes

Hail Satan!

Jonathan Green
Jonathan Green

Hi, how you doing? Non-retard here with possible explanations. You said your house is old, ergo I believe it would be logical to assume that it may be prone to shifting. When a house shifts, it makes noise and may, over time, cause your floor to tilt to one side or the other, thus allowing your beer, your pictures and your doors to succumb to the laws of gravity. Call... whoever the fuck you're supposed to call for that and stop being a bitch.

John Lewis
John Lewis

Yeh that science group has really had a strangle hold on seeding facts for thousands of years... People were killed for thinking outside of the religion of their group. Lets go backwards in our thinking and we'll also throw away all advances of science.

Youre free to believe what you want, but dont try pass off your attention seeking as "i can see the 'real' reality and you cant, woe is me", or worse, dismiss your mental health.

Josiah James
Josiah James

Old house, old pipes. Look up water hammer.

Samuel White
Samuel White

Is this post post-ironic?

Juan Edwards
Juan Edwards

I was in the midst of quite a deep depression when I first watched this scene. It actually ended up being a turning pointfor me. It's quite brilliant really.

Disable AdBlock to view this page

Disable AdBlock to view this page

Confirm your age

This website may contain content of an adult nature. If you are under the age of 18, if such content offends you or if it is illegal to view such content in your community, please EXIT.

Enter Exit

About Privacy

We use cookies to personalize content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyze our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our advertising and analytics partners.

Accept Exit