I'm an atheist. This is a fact

I'm an atheist. This is a fact.
It's also a fact that the house I inherited from my late grandmother is haunted.

I'm freaking the fuck out right now. I'm in an old house in the middle of nowhere and I'm hearing screams and voices. My glass of beer knocked itself over while I was looking right at it. Then, every picture on the wall to my left fell off the wall simultaneously. The glass in the frames broke and it was really fucking loud. Then the door to the kitchen slammed itself shut so hard the hinges came loose and the frame splintered. I can hear footsteps upstairs.

I've never bee this afraid in my life.
I'm too scared to leave because it's dark outside and my car won't start. My driveway is half a mile long and then it's at least 12 miles to the nearest gas station, which probably isn't even open right now.

What the fuck am I supposed to do???

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Occam's Razor, bitch.

You're having a schizoid episode accompanied by hallucinations, the house isn't fucking haunted.

Next thing to do is book in for a brain scan asap.

Sounds like you're about to die

Post some pics

/thread

I can make it all go away.

nig down Occam's Razor for me

Try and fuck the ghost. Best course of action.

dude got some of the good acid

Why are you afraid?

>athiest finds himself outside of the protection of the Lord and panics
What did you expect to happen?
I bet grandma was a good christian and didn't have any problems living there

Check if it's a Semen Demon

Was your Grandmother Baptist? She's probably mad that your'e drinking a beer in her house.

To be fair if you spend enough time looking at the front page of Sup Forums, the ghost will fuck off because ghosts can't be gay.

I believe you, Op. I've seen a ghost before. IT's incredibly frustrating when no one believes you.

Find a bible. Turn the pages until you find Matthew 6:9-13. Read it out loud until the sun comes up and then get the fuck out of that house. Never go back. Sell it.

It's not haunted - your just in the first throes of your new telekinetic ability. All atheists contract telekinesis sooner or later; harness it, practice it, enjoy it, embrace it. I typed this with my mind

Is the Ghost hot? Asking for a friend.

What if the bible is upstairs?

Most nigged down explanation is the right one. Since it's an old house, odds are the piping is fucking with your senses. And the house is older and contracts more. And is probably giving way to age. And is then also more easily damaged. And most likely has lead paint. And bad airflow.

And you know what? It's an old house. You haven't been in enough of them to know.

Was it a Christian burial or did you forget to bring grandma down from upstairs?

She's probably trying to get your attention and talk to you.

Do it you won't.

Op??

Are you still alive??

Did you relight the pilot light in the furnace. You are probably breathing carbon monoxide

Occam's Razor is the idea that with all factors being equal, the simplest explanation is the most probable.

So let's assume that there's an equal possibility of:
1) the house being haunted by some supernatural force (of which there's never been any proof), or
2) that you have a chemical/neurotransmitter imbalance that results in visual and auditory hallucinations, which affect more than 3% of the population at some point in their lives

Occam's Razor is about taking these two possible explanations and deciding which is the most simple and therefore probable of the two. Which, in this case, is that you have a mental issue that needs to be examined.

I've seen a ghost. Looked right at it for more than 2 minutes. Then it looked at me.

I'm not an atheist anymore.

Explanation 1. It's a ghost.
Explanation 2. the piping is fucking with your senses and the house is older and contracts more and is probably giving way to age and is then also more easily damaged and most likely has lead paint and bad airflow.

Explanation 2 is the correct one, because my atheism blinders force me to insist that it's the simplest explanation.
>this is what atheists believe rational thought looks like

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This:
youtube.com/watch?v=tPwWsXZ3His

>of which there's never been any proof
Aside from Op literally witnessing the proof unfold before his eyes.

#1 would be the most likely explanation if there was EVER ANY DOCUMENTED EVIDENCE BEYOND 144p YOUTUBE VIDEOS AND GYPSIES

głupi Amerykanie

>Implying that hallucinations aren't possible and anything seen with the eyes must be real

Yeah, he is totally telling the truth, why would someone lie on Sup Forums.

This

get a CO2 detector... you may be dying and not knowing

lol

Wait a minute, you just butchered my post. But so you understand, each one of those really simple explanations are really simple and follow from an old house being an old house. Just as well that OP is having a very mental moment. Plus, there can't be any blinders if you're that open to examining the house. Explanation 2 is so matter of fact, you'd have to be insane to not think it's the most probable run-on conclusion.
>the joke

tv or ppl outside (voices)
stuff falling over earthquake
door shut = wind (could also explain the voices)
footsteps upstairs.. idk mang hope it's not a burglar

>Wait a minute, you just butchered my post.
No, he butchered your anus. Literally #rekt

Did you get any video? Most likely you are just being a faggot, faggot.

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you forgot to point out the fact that you're a faggot.

90% of this can be explained by wind / earthquak

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And human
And requires oxygen to live

Document and then post results?

Pics or it didn't happen.

That would make him a serial faggot.

>im an atheist
Queerlord.

As for your fucking gay ass problem, you're full of shit, hallucinating, or you have an uninvited guest in there with you.

Be the first person ever to get 4K video footage of ghouls running around spooking you like theyre buffoons with nothing else to do if they even did exist. I dare you.
>DUBS DARE GETT

hahahahaha

Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.

Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

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Is that you tickling my funbag right now? A little rough but Im on board.

When i was a kid my mum and step dad taught me ghosts were 100% fact. I spent years trying to find a ghost that i could befriend and rob a bank. Biggest let down of the last 6 months!

That is rational

damn

Now you're in a mental hospital?

always pushing the anvil lobe aren't you

Nope. I'm married, 2 kids and I go to church every Sunday.

I believe you.

Occam's Razor that shit.

Also I think you're probably lying anyways.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.


That said, if you feel you're really seeing shit go to the doctor.

A man walks into a house and hears footsteps and goes to ghosts. Horse and zebra. Kill the home invader if youre a husband/dad worth his salt.

Learn about Satanism, tell the spirits the Kingdom of the South, tell them that your aura guides them to the Kingdom of the South, let the demons sort them out and burn some sage in all the rooms with the windows open.

Been a while since I have dealt with a haunted house, really not that big of a deal, dealing with living supernatural species is scarier.

LOL I hope youre a kidder! You have a mental illness if not, youre life will be better if you seek help.

I fucking love that program "Supernatural Survivor". OH YOU FUCKING HEROES!

Sad part is you won't really know until you're dead.

The Jews stole from the far east to make sure you know nothing about your existence and place within the universe, but who hired the Draconians and why?

Anyways, hail Satan you pitiful little bitch.

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Hail Satan!

Hi, how you doing? Non-retard here with possible explanations. You said your house is old, ergo I believe it would be logical to assume that it may be prone to shifting. When a house shifts, it makes noise and may, over time, cause your floor to tilt to one side or the other, thus allowing your beer, your pictures and your doors to succumb to the laws of gravity. Call... whoever the fuck you're supposed to call for that and stop being a bitch.

Yeh that science group has really had a strangle hold on seeding facts for thousands of years... People were killed for thinking outside of the religion of their group. Lets go backwards in our thinking and we'll also throw away all advances of science.

Youre free to believe what you want, but dont try pass off your attention seeking as "i can see the 'real' reality and you cant, woe is me", or worse, dismiss your mental health.

Old house, old pipes. Look up water hammer.

Is this post post-ironic?

I was in the midst of quite a deep depression when I first watched this scene. It actually ended up being a turning pointfor me. It's quite brilliant really.