Who is your favorite sharktank? mine is robert

Who is your favorite sharktank? mine is robert.

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Robert's the cutest and I want him to be happy.

Mr. Wonderful

Robert is shit and so are you
>Be Robert
>Don't invest in anything because no money
>Producers set up wacky investment pitch just for you
>All other sharks are out because mailing potatoes or whatever isn't a real business
>You're in
>About to seal the deal
>Kevin jumps back in with a worse deal than you
>They go with Kevin because of his reputation
>Camera pans away from you as you look down in defeat

Fuck Robert

>that episode where he cried because of racism towards Croatian immigrants like his father who was a factory laborer

;_::

Really Robert is such a nice guy i wish to be like him someday.

Kevin o'leary
>canadian
>conservative
>asshole
what more could you want

really he is never wrong though. he is easily the best businessman there also the most succesful.

Anyone else attracted to .... ?

Cuban. He can be straight up savage.

I dunno, he invested and Hillary and look at how that went.

is "Beyond the tank" any good?

I fucking hate O'Leary. He's like a crude caricature of a Capitalist out of Soviet Propaganda.

My name is Jeb Bush, and I'm running for president in 2016. I come from a long line of distinguished presidents, and my campaign has been running to continue this tradition. I've been the governor of Florida, and I married a latino woman. This campaign has received heavy investment from the establishment, and I look forward to continuing that investment with you, and we can do Jeb! 2016.

Kevin: How are your numbers so far?
Jeb: Well, we're currently polling around 2-3%.
Kevin: What are you chasing?
Jeb: Unfortunately Mr. Trump is at 40%.
Kevin: I'm out.

Mark: Mr. Trump is actually a fellow businessman who I have already endorsed for president, and I can't invest against him, so I'm out.

Robert: How much are you asking for?
Jeb: I am asking for a $200 million investment, and in return you get 70% of the top lobbying rights on executive decisions.
Robert: How much have you spent so far?
Jeb: To date we've spent $128 million.
Robert: Wow.
Kevin: See, this is why I was out, I knew this was trouble from the start.
Robert: Jeb, how can you possibly think you can continue this campaign? Where is the money going?
Jeb: W-w-well...
Kevin: He's DEAD, this is not happening, he just doesn't know it yet. DEAD!
Mark: Yeah look Jeb you're a nice guy and I'm not going to jerk you around, I know Robert will try to soothe your feelings here but listen to Kevin on this one.
Robert: Well look I can't come down on your whole campaign, but for me, with those numbers, I'm out.
Jeb: T-thank you sharks.

bUMPING FOR SHARKTANK POSTS

Robert > Kevin > Mark > Barbara >> Daymond >>>> Lori

is this pasta? if not, great post

>Mark: Mr. Trump is actually a fellow businessman who I have already endorsed for president, and I can't invest against him, so I'm out.
Need to change to "MY GIRL, HILLDOG!" for more accuracy.

>Ill give you 100000 dollars for 1% of your company if you be my friend
>Thanks Robert but let me see Kevins offer
>5$ for 80%
>Ill take it

shut your mouth

He's going to Make Canada Great Again in 2019

I want to protect robert ;_;

Of course it's a pasta, it was clearly written when Jeb! was still in the race

cringe

I feel bad for Robert constantly getting cucked out of deals and the entrepreneurs just outright ignoring his offers.

Entrepreneur: "I want $100k for 20% of my company."

Robert: "You know what? I'll give you $200k for 20% because I really believe in what you're doing and think you'd need this much money, and I can also guide you with how that money can be most effectively used because I have shitloads of free time since no one takes my offers."

Entrepreneur: "Wow, thank you Robert! But out of respect, I'd like to hear the other offers."

Lori: "I'll give you the $100k you want but I want 40% of the company for it."

Entrepreneur: "Lori, you have a DEAL!"

Robert: *holding back actual tears because people hate him so much they literally take worse deals over his without even a pause*

I just wanna give him a hug.

stream where

>made a sharktank copypasta in a thread one night
>tfw seen it reposted a couple times on this board and a few random sites on the web

feels comfy man

>it's a babs only knows real estate and shouldn't be there episode

why is kevin even there? all he does is offer meme deals

Shark Tank stream right now on weebcrew.moe

This isn't my shark tank...

Damn it, someone hijacked the Shark Tank.

youtube.com/watch?v=Ocl8sxGyBf0

My favorite

As a young child I saw my Mother relentlessly beaten by my Father. I can still recall hearing her muffled screams through the walls of my bedroom as I lay trying to fall asleep. Some nights were worse than others, but I remember the mornings my Grandmother would take me to school because my Mother couldn’t be seen in public. She would wear sunglasses and long sleeve shirts for weeks while the bruising and swelling slowly healed around her eyes and arms. I never understood how something as simple as an overcooked meal or spilt glass of wine in the living room could send my Father into these inexplicable fits of rage; not until this very moment. Not until I saw your presentation. You are the stain on my fathers Afghan rug and I see no club soda nor salt to scrub you away. For an investment of 250,000 dollars I will retain 92% of your company with a lifetime of royalties and if you even for one second glance in Lori’s direction, I will personally crucify each of your children.

What on earth was he thinking?
youtu.be/UAqxs_hW0CY

better than having a cavity

the way this person talks
jesus christ

...

Please listen to me I will give you anything you want. I will give you a blank check. All I ask is for one thing: 5 second of uninterrupted eye contact and every Friday night you must call me and talk me down from the edge of my balcony. Please, I need someone so badly. I need you.
>Let's see what Mark's deal is first
I'll give you nothing for 100% equity, and I'll also throw in some Mavs tickets.
>Sorry Robert, but I'm going to have to go with Mark on this one