TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT

>Allegendly the biggest competition event in the wizarding school world
>Amounts to watching an empty field, a lake and a labyrinth entrance while the exciting competition stuff happens where no one can watch it

Dumbledore didn't think this through.

>implying dumbeldore wasn't stoned on wizardweed the entire time

>not shagging your qt gf under the stands

Gryffindor chads get out reee

>Students, did I ever tell you that a fourth of the student body have been psychically confirmed to be racist assholes? They weren't such good friends

It really depends on what you mean by "competition". After all, these are the same characters from novels by the author J.K. Rowling. A series of films that comprised one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>Allegendly

>

>You can enter someone by proxy into a competition they are forced under pain of death to compete in

Why not enter Voldemort's name into the "spend the next 50 years running around in a circle in the Sahara desert" competition?

Top fucking kek

My Nigga DumbleDore Aint Eva Gon Git High On Silleh Weafs

The ever changing opening lines of this pasta is my top meme of 2016

>top meme of 2016
this meme goes back further than this year, friendo

so truu

>Harry chose Ginny over this

they probably have crystal balls to watch it or some shit

writer could literally pull anything out of their ass because magic. one of the laziest settings for writing a story

>time travel paradoxes can break reality and destroy lives
>give 12 year old girl a time device because she wants extra study time and to also take muggle studies even though she's literally muggleborn

dumbledore....

Wizards are just different bro, they get their entertainment in different ways
>american wizards
Take your sorcerer's stone and fuck right off

Is it really the same guy every time? ffs. lmao.

>>Harry chose Ginny over this

not him but I've posted it a few times if its not posted yet
but I also believe it

>wizardweed

I miss fantasy fiction

>Harry chose Ginny

that's a big neck

>top meme of 2016

For an user

So is trump officially out of the closet now?

>that scene Ginny is staring at Harry in his eyes and then bobs under the camera towards her knees

I was like DAMN

He's assfucking men so yes?

Why the fuck is Brave New World low tier? And Lord of the Rings is shit? Nigga you just being contrary.

Edgemaster: The book tier list. In every tier, there's at least one that's absurdly displaced, from Don Quixote all the way to Huckleberry Finn and The Lord of the Rings.

Well, she was cast to be a slightly scary and disturbed kid in Harry Potter 2 and nobody knew she was supposed to grow up into a hawt girl that would end up as Harry's gf.
Movie Ginny just never worked as the latter.

>kanye west
it's a troll list, dumbass

>america isn't, along with all the other 3'rd world shitholes aren't invited
What a time to be alive.

mad?

>little cartoon twitter avatar
jesus christ the memes are real

She tried to rape him

this is why Kanye's gonna make America fly again
>Kanye 2020
>Believe It

Are these movies worth getting into at this late stage? Are they comfy?

I tend to watch ambient noise/ASMR videos a lot to get to sleep and lately a lot of Harry Potter-themed background ambiance vids have been popping up...

DIDYA PUT YER NAME IN DA GOBLET OF FIYAH, HARRY!?!?!

The book and movie versions of this scene were night and day.

I recently had all movies air on tv and every fucking time she came on screen she hugged Harry in a "very concerned" way, being all touchy feely. Then she gets hooked up with Ron. I've kinda forgotten how the books handled this, but damn, the movies were bad at making her seem interested in anything other than Harry. Didn't help that she turned into such a looker, while the rest of the cast looked like stereotypical british people.

Would have worked out if Hermione and Ginny had switched actresses, storywise. Though I guess I wouldn't have wanted to look at Ginny's actual actress for 8 movies.

rowling was planning to ghave ron die and her get with harry, but then she wanted them to all be a real family

Do you think that Ron and Ginny knew that Harry and Hermione were fucking?

So some weird acquaintance recently told me that JK never wrote Harry Potter on her own. That JK was just a figure head the media used to get nice publicity (single mum, no money etc, sob story), but that HP was written by a team of writers, with the sole purpose of creating a phenomenon, which they did.
I've never heard this theory before. Is this a real thing? Or is my friend just a tinfoil idiot?

>Don Quixote
>God-Tier
>Mah Nigga

HARRY DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN DA GOBLET OF FIRE YOU LITTLE KIKE?
really unnecessary addition to the script. is it true that gambon ad-libbed it?

Sounds legit but is no doubt just bullshit like every fan theory
>They were dead the entire time!
>It was all a dream!

If there was a formula for creating a billionaire franchise, more people would be doing it.

JK Rowling just got extremely lucky and struck gold

who is this I dont remember hjer

The dragon thing must've been pretty exciting, except Harry flew away like a bitch

The lake and the maze was retarded in terms of spectatorship

Maybe there were some magical cameras watching them all the time or some shit

Tinfoil.

It was just at the right place at the right time, same as Twilight.

I would have said yes.

>Going with the very definition of BLACKED

slut who wanted his dick in movie 6 and tried to spike his chocolate with rape potion

No there are lots of people that believe she is a modern Carolyn Keene

>Carolyn Keene is the pseudonym of the authors of the Nancy Drew mystery stories and The Dana Girls mystery stories, both produced by the Stratemeyer Syndicate. In addition, the Keene pen name is credited with the Nancy Drew spin-off, River Heights and the Nancy Drew Notebooks.

That's what I said. She just got extremely lucky. JK's a good storyteller, I love HP and I love her detective novels. But to say that she's just a pretty face sob story to front a team of writers trying to create an international phenomenon is really stretching it for me.
That said, apparently there were a bunch of Magic Boarding School novels way before HP got published. So she might be a hack, but I'm damn sure it's just her and not some Illuminati team writing her stuff.
Haven't seen FBAWTFT though, and I have a feeling Warner had some hand in that, even if they say JK wrote it.

Lots of people think the moon landings were faked
Lots of people think that vaccines give you autism

Yeah there were lots of people that didn't believe the /x/ tier shit that memeden said about the american government

>That said, apparently there were a bunch of Magic Boarding School novels way before HP got published
It's worth reading into just how similar to HP some of these books were. One had a kid literally called Harry Potter. The resemblances were simply too coincidental.

Now there's nothing new under the sun but it's still dodgy.

IIRC, there was only a superficial resemblance at best.

The fact that the author waited for 10 years after HP was released before taking legal action is fairly indicative that he was just trying to leech.

She kinda fucked up to set things up properly then. I seem to recall that later on she even admitted in an interview that a relationship between Hermione and Ron probably was doomed to fail, based on their personalities, but she wanted to hook them up to make the improbable seem possible, or somesuch. Basically, the way how everyone ended up went against how she wrote the characters. She lucked out that people loved the worldbuilding and main plot enough that these things didn't matter.

If it was that easy to do, more people would do it.

She lives in a stupidly expensive house, so the end is the same.

For you potterfags, is there any actual evidence dumbledore was gay in the books? or is that just something JK said for publicity/sjw's sake??

there were hints and it was strongly alluded to in book 7 so it's fine. hermione (possibly?) being black is stupid as fuck, as it has no basis in the text, and cements her as a backpedalling cunt.

the latter

They could do it like Spielberg did with ET and digitally color Watson black retroactively and call it 'Harry Potter - Author's Edition'.

Also instead of holding a crossbow, hagrid could be holding a magic walkie talkie

>Calling Voldemort "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named"
Why would you give someone that you want to prevent to gaining a following a bad ass name? Why not call him "bitch-ass-gay-nigga", I bet nobody is going to follow him.

Why don't you ask her on twitter? There is a 99% chance she'll actually answer too considering how desperate she is to be in the light at all times.

No evidence. His odd tendencies were just seen as oddballism, when they could have been seen as gay. In the end, Dumbledore is not a sexual character. His lust for cocks doesn't matter much nor does it shine out in the books.

>we do not speak his name, we call him "cuddly wumpkins"
would especially work since voldemort chose his name specifically to intimidate people

I don't have a twitter.

>The wizarding world makes three teenagers fight a dragon every 4 years for pure entertainment
>might get drowned in a lake by merpeople, who gives a shit
>oh and lets make this maze really dangerous too

>everyone gets really surprised when Cedric gets killed in the tournament
>OH THE HUMANITY WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS HAPPENING A DEATH IN OUR BELOVED TOURNAMENT HE WAS SO YOUNG BOOHOO

man I wonder if those vines found her PUSSY

>points earned entire school year to motivate students to work hard for the house cup
>corrupt headmaster doesn't care about points or rules and just gives it to gryffindor anyway

Honestly. Do you think we'll ever get a revamp of the HP franchise? An HBO series? Animated series? New set of films?
I'm damn sure WB isn't done with HP yet. Not after hearing Fantastic Beasts is getting 5 films now and Johnny Depp gets to play Grindelwald.

I think Fred and George started calling him U-NO-POO or something like that.

>yfw Dumbledore gives Gryffindor just enough points so they lose to Slytherin by 1 point

That is a step on the rigth direction.

Read the books. It's still bullshit, but much less so than what you wrote there.

yes, and Harry will be played by a demisexual muslim atheist otherkin

How does Quidditch make any sense? "Lol here's this competition that's Lacrosse on brooms, but when you catch this special ball that has fuckall to do with the rest of the game, you win!" Even when I read it for the first time back in the day, it seemed like such an overtly convenient way to make Harry a special snowflake part of the sports team, without him putting in some actual work to learn to play the fucking game.

Plz no. The franchise needs to stop expanding and just be allowed to exist as it is. The problem is right now, why would anybody give a shit about this new series?

The only people who seem to care are female Harry Potter fans in their 20's and 30's.

It's hilarious that Harry Potter is now old enough to be milked for nostalgia shekels.

>it seemed like such an overtly convenient way to make Harry a special snowflake part of the sports team

Is that how the Quarterback position was invented?

The snitch grant points and ends the game, but your team still coul win if they make more points before that.

Do wizards ever learn employable skills at Hogwarts? They don't take math, literature, or writing courses and yet gardening and animal husbandry are required courses.

Kys

OBJECTIVE WIZARD POWER RANKINGS

T1. Voldemort / Dumbledore (hard to say because Dumbledore had the elder wand when people considered him superior to voldemort)
3. Grindelwald
4. Snape
5. McGonagall
6. Moody
7. Shacklebolt
8. Flitwick
9. Lestrange
10. Who give a fuck

>not being a Slytherin+Head Boy and shagging a naive Hufflepuff first year under the stands

>10. Who give a fuck
Correct for all you fucking manchild tumblrina

>spend 100 galleons to go see a quidditch game
>it's over in 2 minutes because a seeker caught the snitch right away

Worst fucking meme ever. Kys

>No Flamel
>No Godric Gryffindor
>No Merlin
>No Dobby
Objectively shit list

>you will never remove her robes ;_;

Wasn't the snitch granting such an inordinate amount of points that it's more or less an "I win" button? One team would have to absolutely crush the other team, for the snitch to not make a different in the outcome.

I'm interested
What's the name of the one with a character named Harry Potter?

wheres harry potter on this list?

Nothing wrong with being an atheist

Harry is a mediocre wizard. He only wins because of the Power of Love and bravery and some shit.