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Nigger

What was Biggie Smalls doing in Hogwarts?

Niggers freak out when they see magic

first post best post

lives matter

...

it was all a dream

future azkaban dweller, destined to be the darkest of dark wizards

>it was all a meme

fix'd

...

Is in one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

WE

and there it is

it was all a meme
I used to read quibbler magazine
fred, george and me up in the quidditch team
moving pictures on my wall
seems like everyday, snake attack, sleeping in the great hall
way back, when I had the red and gold robe and a hat
with a snitch to catch
remember second year, the flying car
whoever thought that two kids would take it that far
now I'm in the wand-light, that lumos tight
time to be afraid, making potion with some nightshade
born wizzer, opposite of a squibba
bertie bott's every flavour beans for dinner
peace to weasleys, seamus, hermoine
still wearing specs, still fucking ginny
still winning cups like you thought I would
same wand, phoenix feather holly wood
it's all good

10/10

I've been lookinf for this pasta, thanks user. Now someone vocaroo themself rapping this out

>black magic
oh, bravo, Rowling! Bravo!

>this upvote approved memein
/film/ cant come soon enough

SHIT'S LIKE TRYNA CATCH SMOKE WIT CHO BARE HANDS NIGGA

Was the director having a giggle here?

>if you got wand up in to waist please don't spell up the place

>why?

>cuz I see some witches tonight who should be having my baby. Baby.

Nah nah nah cough cough cough

ahem

IT WAS ALL A MEME

I used to read Daily Prophet magazine,
DumbleD and Voldemort up in the pensieve.
Hanging portraits on my wall,
Every Saturday, Quidditch, seeking girls, let me work my magic on them all.
I let my wand rock til' my wand popped,
Smoking on tentacular leaves and mandrake, sippin' on Slughorn's private stock.

...

...

significantly worse quality

I posted it months and people loved it

youtube.com/watch?v=ZYb_8MM1tGQ

Notorious B.E.M.


I been in this game for years, it made me a animal
It's rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual
A step by step booklet for you to get
Your spells on track, not your wig pushed back
Rule numero uno: never let no one know
How much, wands you hold, cause you know
The wizards breed jealousy specially
If that hat fucked up, get your ass stuck up
Number two: never let em know your spell book
Don't you know Griff Boys move in silence or violence
Take it from your highness
I done squeezed mad sygils at these cats for they fish and chips
Number three: never trust Sli-the-rin
Your moms'll set that ass up, properly gassed up
Hoodie to Mandrake up, shit, for that fast Bludge
She be layin' in the bushes to light that ass up
Number four: know you heard this before
Never get high, with your own wand
Number five: never sell no Charm where you rest at
I don't care if they want a glance, tell 'em bounce
Number six: that god damn credit, dead it
You think a mughead payin' you back, shit forget it
Seven: this rule is so underrated
Keep your family and business completely separated
Magic and blood don't mix like two dicks and no witch
Find yourself in Sirius shit

Number eight: never keep no spell on you
Them muggs that squeeze your wands can hold jobs too
Number nine shoulda been number one to me
If you ain't gettin bags stay the fuck from Hit wiz's
If niggaz think you snitchin' they ain't tryin' to listen
They be sittin' in your kitchen, waitin' to play Quiddich
Number ten: a strong word called consignment
Strictly for live men, not for freshmen
If you ain't got the clientele say hell no
'Cause they gon want they magic spells sleet hail snow
Follow these rules you'll have mad bread to break up
If not, twenty-four eons, on the wake up
Squib hit your temple, watch your frame shake up
Caretaker did your makeup, when you pass
Your girl fucked my man Snape up, heard in three weeks
She sniffed a whole half of pixie dust
Heard she suck a good dick, and can hook a spell up
Gotta go gotta go, more pasta bake up, wand up
Grand Wiz, Bem Wizzard

>implying we aren't all going to go to /film/ and funpost the fuck out of it
tough luck kid!

>he thinks he is getting /film/
you capeshitters are stupid

Just stop.