/trek/

friendzone edition

old

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>old thread isn't even at autosage
They warned us about generalfags
We didn't listen

i thought 300 is the bump limit?

shit, my bad, soz m8

...

>tfw KikeO is your wife

I just finished watching DS9 - "Valiant"

Was it supposed to be some sort of tragic ending? A Starfleet warship gets taken over by literal Chads who believe their own hype, and that gets them killed.

Was I supposed to feel bad for Red Squad?

CAKEHOLE

>Starfleet only has a couple of Defiant class ships, the baddest warship around
>Dedicate one to raining cadets

It's to demonstrate that once again Starfleet is fucking stupid.

Also to demonstrate that putting a brash young cadet in charge of a starship is a dumb idea. Thankfully no future Star Trek material decided this would be a good basis of an entire new continuity.

Best grill comin' thru.

>next edition should be Worf's cock-blocking edition

>red squad!
>red squad!
>RED SQUAD!

I feel like the whole episode was Nog looking around thinking "WTF are these idiots doing; this 'captain' is going to get us killed."

If Jadzia is best girl who is best boy? In before Ezri.

Ezri.

>Nog

You mean Jake. Nog fell for the old "the cool kids are letting me in their gang so now I'm blind to sense" trope

Bashir.

Jake is best boy. He a good boy. He dindu nuffin.

didnt nog technically outrank them?

No, the "captain" got a field commision, then made Nog his chief engineer or something because he died.

I like to think all Bashirfags are just Garak spamming threads with multiple IP addresses.

How can one person have so many ugly sweaters?

>Tfw Julian ends up banging her reincarnation anyway

Julian is a precious cinnamon roll who was born retarded and he deserves better than a Klingon's sloppy slug seconds.

>Charismatic unqualified cadet becomes captain due to extreme circumstances
>New chief engineer from a far away outpost
>A rampaging behemoth warship threatens the heart of the Federation

Did Ron Moore write a parody of Trek 2009 without realizing it?

Trek 2009 isnt that bad

youtube.com/watch?v=bl5TUw7sUBs

You're right. It's worse.

>Cadet gets field commission and becomes captain of a ship, 8 months later he gives a Ferengi he's known for 5 minutes a field promotion on the spot
>Harry Kim remains the eternal ensign

Harry was commanding Voyager as early as season 3. Knowing he has his own quarters and is a valued bridge officer, what would a promotion actually accomplish?

that's because janeway was racist towards only koreans

I think the easiest argument would be to say why then would Tom Paris need a promotion then?

>Work hard and never get rewarded for it
>Never get career advancement
>Smelly Ferengi halfway across the galaxy gets advancement and reward for basically just being there

>>Smelly Ferengi halfway across the galaxy gets advancement and reward for basically just being there

Just filling those diversity quotas, commander

he wants to impress his mommy

Now I understand why everyone here obsesses over his rank.

Remember when Hoshi's dad found out she had died?
He seemed only upset he was being bothered by Archer.
Also, when Archer messaged him on sub-space, he was just sitting there like this 5 feet from a camera ready to talk.

You were supposed to feel bad for Officer Qt

remember when that asian admiral showed up ordering data to be taken apart in a cold machine like manner?

But they had a seasoned captain that got fatally wounded before granting a cadet a battlefield commission of the ship.
He probably assumed the kid would take the ship back to starfleet and not do double secret dark runs on his own with his team of plucky young recruits.

Defiant v Enterprise D

Who wins?

>Defiant built specifically for war to combat Cardassian/Klingon/Romulan/Dominion battleships
>Enterprise D built specifically for exploration

You tell me.

How the eff is Tribble-ations ranked 9.3?

Okay, it was an enjoyable comedy episode, but there were a hand full of episodes that were much better.

Depends if the engineers were retarded or not. The Enterprise is like 10 times as big so their shield generators should be 10 times more powerful. But I bet they aren't, they probably put in an extra big lido deck.

>get hit once
>SHIELDS AT 4% CAPTAIN

which ship is Worf on?

Unironically Ezri

Because that episode is a damn miracle.

The plot is good, it slots into the original episode well, the effects still hold up remarkably well to this day. All in all a fantastic love letter to TOS and the franchise as a whole.

It might not have the deepest or best plot or the entire series, but if you're a Star Trek fan its incredibly enjoyable. Sometimes that's enough.

Its just a big fun episode designed specifcally to entertain longtime fans that somehow managed to actually achieve that while semi retconning a beloved TOS episode.

Basically its far better than it had any right to be.

Whole episode was worth it for Worf's "we do NOT talk about it" line

A little one. Learn to read poetry properly.

you mean who is /ourman/?

And for an example of how to totally fuck up your "tribute" episode, just watch Voyager's Flashback.

"WELL HERE IT IS!"

Data has no fear of death. He should have agreed to be butt fucked by techies for science as ordered. A computer aint no life mane!

What if Bashir is actually his own great grandfather and thats how he ended up being born retarded?

What if he's Fry?

>be Bashir
>freshly rimmed out by Ezri
>looking forward to some holo shenanigans with Miles
>maybe cure space AIDS in your free time because you're a fucking genius
>"Dr. Bashir, please report to docking bay 3"
>show up
>see that the retard brigade has arrived

What do you do?

ORGY TIME

Lock the retards in and ignore them, nobody will believe their lies over me anyway. Then I perform a full medical scan on myself and Ezri and find out why we were acting so disgustingly.

That's a stupid question

Go get freshly rimmed out by Garak.

Gara takes the front

Bullshit. I demand proof.

>The very next episode starts with a very rapey Quark trying to extort Oo-Mox out of one of his employees

Why did they take him back to his S1 characterisation?

Best Quark is mid-life crisis Quark.

That episode where Quark dreams that the first nagus Gint is explaining the Rules of Acquisition to him.

Discretely throw them out of an airlock.

>risa
>pleasure planet
>ferenginar is the one with mandatory nude females.

They also aren't allowed to go outside or talk to strangers. And have you seen a Ferengi?

>throw
>airlock

Always enjoyed this phrase.

The one planet where females are forced nude ensures that they are also an ugly race.

That is the order of things.

Dr. Bashir is My favorite dog.

I wished that my mom and dad good fix mine brain to.

when will they learn?

>tfw can't make things go

Why exactly was the red woman locked up in an institution anyway? Is "horny and theatrical" considered a disorder? More importantly how did they figure out this condition when she was 6 or whatever?

That picture is an allegory for modern Europe.

Except the Italian gods have unibrows and hate pigs.

To prevent them from going outside, and therefore be able to earn profit

>Risa not having mandatory nude females

Its a pleasure planet for women too user, why no nude males?

>Admiral Chakotay here
>*my people's internally*

Yes, yes it is. But we could forgive that. It isn't Star Trek, it's a bad action movie.

I just can't stand it feels like they planned it.
They never intended to set it straight like Watergate.

Whos the bigger cuck? Bashir and his unrequited pursuit of Jadzia or Odo and his endless beta orbit of Kiera?

My vote would be for Bashir because they literally made him the most incompetent whipping boy in the first 4 seasons especially. I mean did he have an A story where he was competent and saved everyone? Or were they all about him failing?

>Whos the bigger cuck?

Odo would literally sell out the entire Federation just so Kira would smile at him.

He went full "CONSTABLE!" when he had to follow Shakaar and Kira around, then opened up to her at Jadzia's bachelorette party, then got friendzoned, before finally going in for the kill.

But at least Bashir tried a million times. Odo was lovestruck every time Kira was in his presence.

Good question by the way.

>wait, now that I think about it Ezri got KLING'D hardcore before getting that genetically engineered dongle
>it's almost a tie

Oh my God, its no mirage.
I'm telling y'all Trek's sabotaged.

Bashir is the biggest cuck of all time.

Reminder that he was literally helping Worf knock up Jadzia.

The Beastie Boys songs are chock full of Star Trek references. How does that work here? DO those songs not exist or are the Beastie Boys soothsayers?

Was MCA a Q /Trek/?

>Reminder that he was literally helping Worf knock up Jadzia.

Not like the man had a choice.

>"That woman.. is MINE!"
>"B-BUT.. MR. WORF, PLEASE!"
>"RRRAAWWW"

Garak is actually the biggest cuck. He just eyefucks and flirts with a guy for seven goddamn years, buys him holosuite programs and chocolate, lets him in on a dying conversation with his father, finally gets a side chick to ease his scaly blue balls who just ends up getting killed, and then he fucks off to Cardassia only to write the guy a letter that ends up being his entire life story followed by "P-p-please respond".

Like I love Garak, but holy shit he a bitch.

>he fucks off to Cardassia only to write the guy a letter that ends up being his entire life story followed by "P-p-please respond".
Is this a reference to Garak: The Garak Story by Garak?

The Underground must have messed with your brain pretty well, Bajoran supremacist fuckboy.

I have read gay fanfiction less gay than that officialy published book.

>Oh, I'm sure you would. You'd like nothing more than to pry into my personal affairs. Well, I'm not interested in dissecting my childhood. I only want to save my people from the Dominion. I don't need someone to walk in here and hold my hand. I want someone to help me get back to work. And you, my dear, aren't up to this task. I mean, look at you. You're pathetic. A confused child trying to live up to a legacy left by her predecessors. You're not worthy of the name Dax. I knew Jadzia. She was vital, alive. She owned herself. And you? You don't even know who you are. How dare you presume to help me? You can't even help yourself. Now get out of here before I say something unkind.
Oh, yeah? Well at least Bashir actually wants to fuck me, you ugly foreveralone incel.

Wait, uhh..

A Stitch In Time??!

>Ezri is supposed to be the counselor who can help people
>She's an emotional wreck and gets BTFO by Garak every time

bravo Ira

Aint nobody want to give Elim the succ but Ziyal, me, and a bunch of insane fangirls with daddy kinks.

She was already a counselor *before* she became an emotional wreck.

What's this image from anyway I don't recognise it? His cut insurrection scene?

Looks like a promotional shot from Let He Who Is Without Sin (the time her tagged along to Risa with Worf and Dax and Julian and Leeta).

Its queer, like Oscar Wilde tier queer. The book is done in a series of letters from Garak to Bashir about Garak's childhood up to his exile, but it also goes into shit like how distant they got in the last couple seasons, and how he was jelly that Julian was always hanging out with O'Brien, how awesome it was that Bashir shot him in the holosuite, and it ends with like I'm sending this to you because you are the only person who understands me and please visit me sometime.

It's not a bad book by any means, its pretty well written for being by somebody who isnt a writer. Its just that it is gay. Gay as balls.

Overall I give it a 3.5/5

>foreveralone incel
>it's an 'Ezri opens a tumblr' episode

incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic no one had the chance to interrupt it was quite hypnotic

yes, he should have assumed command and made those kids come home

and then court marshalled when he didn't

>captain of a nova class

one of the smallest ships of the fleet and now 35 years out of date

still cucked

Friendly reminder that Dukat did nothing wrong.

>Defiant built specifically for war to combat Cardassian/Klingon/Romulan/Dominion battleships

u wot m8.

Was Bashir actually born retarded, or was he "too slow" by pushy poo-in-loo parent standards?

>Not top of the class, never gonna be a doctor, better get illegal genetic augmentation

I stand corrected.

Which means it would wreck a galaxy class ship, given that Borg Cubes can ruin them with relative ease

God bless your autism for seeking out or creating that gif though, I would have probably believed you if you'd just quoted the episode mate