>"There is a small island in the Himalayan Sea called Malderiki, upon which I own a large mansion. Every year afer the first rain, the Newport Beach Wine Society (of which I am a member) gathers at my mansion to watch the island's natives grovel in the mud as their pathetic straw dwellings are ripped apart by the rising waters. On this island there is also a fish, called a Piranha Giganticus. Coinciding with the first rain, this fish swims into the flooded island and begins to feed on the older and weaker natives of Malderiki. Unable to defend themselves from the killer fish and uttrly helpless, the natives make their way to my mansion in makeshift canoes. At this point, the Newport Beach Wine Society opens a bottle of pre-revolution French Chardonnay, dated no later than 1760, and places wagers on which native will be the first to reach the high ground of my sprawling lawn. Once the fish has fed and returned to the Sea, there are typically a handful of natives left on my lawn, at which point we activate the electric fence and release the crocodiles. Last year, during the crocodile feeding, a tiny speck of native flesh was flung from the lawn up to the balcony where the Newport Beach Wine Society was gathered and landed on my shoe. I retrieved the piece of flesh and placed it in my mouth, washing it down with a glass of Moldovan Pino Griggio. Right now, YOU are that piece of flesh."
"There is a small island in the Himalayan Sea called Malderiki, upon which I own a large mansion...
he looks jewish
>some old fuck with not that much money is being a dick to everyone on TV, so I better suck his dick on Sup Forums
>kevinposting was so short lived no one even remembers it
Sad DESU. One of Sup Forumss more patrician memes.
Can we please have one more kevinposting thread
For old times sake
Holy shit my sides
And for that reason, I'm out
the most patrician
I remember its short life ;-;
>You know, scientists just discovered that sharks can contract cancer. And that makes me happy. Because I don't consider myself a shark like the tide pool chum sitting next to me. I am that cancer, I am a malignant, incurable, disease that can strike at any moment, I am the biggest killer in the civilized world. Last year 20,000 of my employees died in the workplace, all I had to do was give the relevant government official 100 gold bars to look the other way. So here's my offer, 70% of your company and I'll call off the hitman I hired before we started filming. You have 20 seconds before he takes the shot.
>'We know a large nose somewhere on my face. Every July, usury grows there.'
>Himalayan Sea
It is not even worth being called a meme
It's just a few unfunny pastas reposted everytime
That said sharkposting in general is good
>70% of your company and I'll call off the hitman I hired before we started filming
Kek
>I'm in, and for that reason, i'm out.
>Have you ever had a glass of black rhinoceros blood? Don't bother answering, I know you haven't, it was just a way to colloquially start this anecdote. I had my first glass in 1983, when I was privileged enough to be invited to a hunting expedition in South Africa. I thought the game, which was stated to be quite dangerous, would still be typical safari fare: lion, giraffe...maybe an elephant. When I arrived at camp the guide, a Mr. Derrick Van Sandt, informed me we would be hunting the most dangerous game apartheid South Africa had to offer: the kaffir, which is what they called black men. I was first appalled, as you are now; but when the hunt began in earnest, I thought less and less of those apprehensions. Eventually I had a young boy, no more than 7, cornered in an Oingo Bingo merchandising plant. I thought "Is this moral? Is this good? Is this the right decision?" I put those thoughts out of my mind and squeezed the trigger. Won 5.3 million dollars. And Mr. Johnson with all due respect, that's what you need to do, put aside those apprehensions you have here and pull the trigger, my offer. 10% funding for 85% ownership of the company and prima nocte rights to your daughters.
>Make America great again?
>I'm out.
>(of which I am a member)
Every time
these always put me in hysterics.
so well written.
I don't get it. The guy isn't even a billionaire. Why is he hot shit?
Seeing him tear into amateur entrepeneurs is pretty funny
I LIKE APPLES!