It's a dog eat dog world out there Ray, well, guess what, I'm a fucking chinaman

>it's a dog eat dog world out there Ray, well, guess what, I'm a fucking chinaman

>"I once told a woman I was lost in her eyes. That was a lie, Ray. I've never been lost, never even owned a fucking map."

>"Punks like you are a dime a dozen but me? I'm a roll of nickels and nothing is gonna change that."

>My dad was a math teacher, Ray. He used to always tell me when I was acting up that I was being obtuse. Thing is, he's dead now and I'm a fucking rectangle.

>You know what, Ray? This city has a short fucking memory. One day you're at the beginning of a sentence standing tall and proud. The next day, you're smashed in the middle of a jumble of letters without any way of knowing if you're an "i" or an "l." Thing is, Ray, I'm like a forgotten old tee, and nobody crosses me.

>You know that song "everything's...gonna be all right." I used to think that, I really did Ray. But you what I learned? Bob Marley sang that song, and he's fucking dead.

>Ray, everybody's got problems. I got em, you got em, we all got em. Sometimes the bullshit just keeps piling up and it starts to feel like you're raking leaves on a windy November day. This is, Ray. I don't have a rake. I have a shovel and I'm gonna get rid of the bullshit right now.

>There's a small cafe near my place, Ray. I've driven by that joint every day for the past 20 years. Then one day I decide to walk in, and you know what I realize? It's a fucking hardware store

>Seasons greetings, ray. It's almost that time of year and you gotta choose: are you gonna be the real deal, a true north american pine? Or are you gonna be some plastic piece of shit just to hang ornaments on? Me? I celebrate festivus.

>Some people think the glass is half-full and some people think the glass is half-empty. What they don't know, is either way you gotta wash it and I'm all out of soap.

>When I was a kid my parents told me to follow my dreams. That's why I don't sleep, Ray because I can't risk them following me.

>Ever hear about the Butterfly Effect, Ray? It say's that a butterfly can flap it's wing in Australia and cause a hurricane in the Caribbean. Right now, I'm in Sydney with a first class ticket to New Orleans and I forgot my water wings.

If a meme has ever been true, true kino, it's this one. >tfw not smart enough to do any of these

>A Roman emperor once said "The corpse of an enemy always smells sweet". That's why I don't shower, Ray, because I'm dead inside.

>When I was a kid, I went to Grand Canyon and saw a man yelling at it. I asked him what he was doing and he said he wanted to hear the echo. I asked him what it was and he explained that it was the sound waves bouncing back to me. I yelled my name into the canyon, Ray. "FFFFRRRRAAAANNNKKK" and then...
silence.

You better listen up, Ray, because I never repeat myself.

>Casper knew this, Ray.

>Something stinks with this whole situation, Ray. Now, I know who wipes my ass. Question is are you a front to back or side to side kind of guy? Caspere knew this.

KEK

>My father once told me that where there's smoke, there's fire. What he didn't tell me was that where there's fire, there's heat, and I didn't bring any marshmallows.

>They say curiosity killed the cat. That's why I call myself Curiosity because I kill pussies, Ray.

>You know, Ray. People always say six in one hand is the same as half a dozen in the other hand. But what they don't know is that I am a baker and my dozens have fourteen.

...

>You know what, Ray? They say that sometimes you get the bear, and sometimes the bear gets you. But right now, I'm at the fuckin Super Bowl, and I don't see any Bears around.

>Shakespeare said all the world's a stage, Ray. Well I'm being coached by Tarantino, and guess who's about to get his big break?

>My mother used to say that a watched pot never boils. But right now Ray, the fire is on and I can't find my glasses.

>They say a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush, Ray. Well I've already got a bird in one hand and a bucket of lighter fluid in the other.

>They say that blood is thicker than water, Brother Ray. But I'm on my period and we're in the fucking desert.

>They say you never hear the shot that kills you. Well guess what? I've been deaf my whole life and can't read. Am I going to feel that bullet, Ray?

>you ever hear about Keyser Soze, Ray? He was this criminal mastermind that faked a limp to stay under the radar. Thing is Ray, I don't have a limp and I'm always on a roll.

>my father always said, you can lead a horse to water, but you cant force it to drink. Well ray, you might be the horse, but Im sure as hell the water

I fucking love frankposting, keep it up guys.

>Moses may have parted the Red Sea but I can't open my mouth wide enough to swallow this shit, Ray

Vince needs to be killed slowly by cancer

Vince posting, I dont know why I called it frank posting.

>They say a broken clock's right twice a day. Well Ray, I may have two hands but I sure as shit don't have a face

best one i've read

>you know why my parents named me Frank, Ray? Because I'm honest. What they didn't know was, Im a fucking liar. I don't even know what the truth is. Heh, Frank indeed.

>They say you can kill two birds with one stone. Well, I've been talking to a dating coach, Ray. And right now I'm peacocking hard.

ahahahah

>They say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Well Ray, I've never had anything nice to say and my pen's run out of ink

>it's a dog eat dog world out there
You mean doggy dog world?

Retard.

>I never let my parents sign my birth certificate, Ray. Nobody tells me I'm alive but me

>dog eat dog

Wtf does that even mean. It's "doggy dog world", you retarded nigger.

This one is amazing, is it original?

They say ever dog has his day. Well I'm a wolf, Ray, and somebody's got to throw me a bone

>You ever read The Stranger by Camus? Well, I didn't, Ray. And my book club just lost another member.

alright, we get it retard don't need to post it twice

>You know how they say the squeaky wheel gets the grease? Well Ray, I'm not a mechanic and I lost my roller skates when I was 16.

Kek i love this one

>Glass half empty, glass half full, it doesn't even matter. The entire fucking glass is upside down and we're all trapped inside

Yeah

>Lassie may have saved Timmy from that well, Ray, but what they don't know is I'm the well and I murdered Timmy

Hey man congrats on the nice post, have another (you).

You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go, faggot.

>They say every door that closes opens a window of opportunity, Ray. Thing is, Ray. You've been getting in my way lately. Yknow, being a better door than a window when I'm trying to watch nature shows. You gotta pick right now, Ray. You gonna be a door or a window?

>Oh and before you pick I want you to know that I'm a locksmith with a bottle of windex. Choose wisely, Ray.

Post more m8

Hey cheers mate

>They say what goes around comes around. Well I keeping going through my viagra pills and I can't stop cumming, Ray.

>fortune favors the bold, Ray. You ever hear that? It's bullshit. Bold is for the weak. I've never been bold, Ray, bold is loud bold is catching heat from the cops. Bold is what you are when you've got nothing to lose. Me? I keep it subtle. I lay low. Never go bold when you can italicize, Ray.

What's going on here?

You know what Ray, two bit cops like you are a diamond dozen. And I don't deal with dozens, or even bakers dozens; I'm like fucking Africa I got so many diamond mines churning this shit out, and a lot of niggers are about to die in the process

haha, nice one Sup Forums

many of the lines you guys make up to mock it are better than the actual lines in the show

>you know, Ray, I'm surprised by your behavior today. "When in Rome" and all that is a noble way to look at it. Thing is, Ray. This ain't Rome. We're on Sup Forums and I don't see any patricians around.

>I never wear a cup when I play sports, Ray. You've busted my balls enough already

>they say that no man is an island, Ray. What they don't know is that I'm not just a man, I'm an archipelago and right now, this bullshit is taking atoll on me.

PATRICIANS BTFO

>You gotta lotta balls talking to me like that, Ray. Yknow, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Thing is, you got balls but I've got stones. Heh, my house is made of drywall and lumber. What's yours made out of ray?

>When I was in high school I was voted least likely to succeed. Well I went to college on the streets, Ray, and I've just earned my PhD in life

lel

...

>A Japanese family moved next door to me Ray. Sure it's tough to swallow but you know what's tougher? An atom bomb

Vinceposting is the crowning achievement of Pizzarollio's career

Bravissimo

>Heh, I knew you'd come around sooner or later, Ray. Better late than never they say? Thing is, Ray. I've never been late, never even owned a watch.

>No one ever said lying was easy, Ray. If they did they were lying

>I keep my friends close, Ray. I tried keeping my enemies closer once but I got so close I ended up inside them.

>they say a picture is worth a thousand words. What they don't tell you is that I'm Picasso with a dictionary.

They say two's company, Ray, but three's a crowd. Well this orgy just got crowded and I'm the cuck

>Ever heard of Gandhi, Ray? This old one-eyed Indian fucker. He used to say that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, Ray. But you know what? I've got two eyes.

>They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But the more apples I throw at people, Ray, the more doctors come after me

My one regret in this life is not acquiring the god given talent to vincepost. Just know that you guys are making my day

>early bird gets the worm, Ray. What they don't tell you is that the early worm gets eaten. Thing is, Ray, time flies when you're an early bird but stops for the early worm. You look a little too dirty to be the early bird.

KEK

Kek

>Raymond, it's do or die. Time to choose: fit or THICC. Bear in mind, Caspere was a cunny poster. You have 10 seconds.

>They say there's two sides to every story. Well guess what Ray? I can't read and I'm a triangle.

I take offense to this

HOLY FUCK

>Never look a gift horse in the mouth, Ray. Unless you're a Trojan. Thing is Ray, you went to UCLA and I was in a frat.

holy shit

My mother used to tall me: live and let live.

My father used to say: Live and let die.

Me? I shoot at God, Marty.

I. Shoot. At. God.

>they say that one man's trash is another mans treasure. Well guess what ray, I'm a fucking garbage man and I don't see any gold bars around here.

>Ya know Ray, they say all that glitters is gold, but you know what? Only shooting stars break the mold.

My mother used to tell me to wash behind my ears... I should have listened...

They say if you had one chance to seize everything you ever wanted, would you take it or would you let it slip? Well I forgot to put up a wet floor sign, Ray, and now my dreams are suing me

>They say you can't judge a book by its cover, Ray. What they don't tell you, is that the pages are blank and you gotta write your own story. Caspere knew this and bought a printing press.

KILL WHITEY!!

>They say the early bird gets the worm. Well I killed the worm, Ray, and now I'm going fishing

JESUS Christ

>They say waste not want not. Well I just killed a nigger the other day, Ray, and I sure didn't want his bike