Star Trek

>its an everyone gets mind controlled but Kirk episode

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>it's a Kirk brings young children aboard the ship and ignores when they start doing weird shit

did Q want to fuck picard or did he just want to fuck with him?

>it's a Voyager episode where someone says "it's some kind of" something

youtube.com/watch?v=JwZiezIxCVU

whoever made up the idea of a sonic shower created the worst piece of Trek lore and I hate them

its so fucking stupid

Its not like water is in short supply on starships, make it holographic or replicate it.

Who the fuck wants to stand in a tube as the wall makes high pitched shrieks at you until it vibrates all the dirt out of your pores

The idea of a sonic shower always sounded terrible and possibly painful

in the future I would be a NEET and never shower

Also, as in the picture, they have bathtubs, and I remember Troi using one in that shitty episode where Barclay becomes a spider

So they still use water to clean themselves in the future , maybe only senior officers and high ranks get to use tubs, but still , what the fuck

I think both.

Kek

I mean, it doesn't make any kind of logical sense, but I imagine such a device would be pretty handy. No need to spend 5 minutes scrubbing yourself, no need to get wet. Hell, maybe you could even do it with your clothes on.

I imagine it as more of a weird, full body massage, at frequencies higher than you could hear.

>it's a they probably killed a real god episode

just started watching the TOS, first Trek series for me, when does it get good?

DS9

The episode where Sulu runs around the ship half-naked with a rapier.

Fuck off TNG and ENT are also fun.

What the fuck happened to season 3 of TOS? Everything looks like shit, everyone looks different and the stories are fucking awful.

Episode 0

You mean Season 2, right? That's the garbage one.

Neelix's quarters had a bath too

"Commander, tell me about your sexual organs."

>scrubbing yourself

oh, is that how people shower..?

>I imagine it as more of a weird, full body massage, at frequencies higher than you could hear.
It is, but if it malfunctions then you go deaf. I'm sure I remember an episode where it shattered someone's mirror.

Hardly any tech in Star Trek is worth the risks.

"Commander, tell me about Bane."

Starships are death traps

Do they stop using breakers in the future? Why do their computers constantly fucking explode, why don't they build them with non-explosive materials? What the fuck are they made with?

>Hardly any tech in Star Trek is worth the risks.
Isn't that the fun of it? I always imagined these kinds of incidents as extremely rare, at least until you get into shit like removing holodeck safety locks. Might as well never use a phone because the battery might explode.

>it's a TNG fan takes pot shots at other shows thread

Samsung has gotten monopoly at making starship components

>muh TNG boogeyman

Can you change the temp of a sonic shower?

Say that, oh I don't know, Jadzia has rejected my sexual advances for the sixth time today, and has actually decided to call Odo on me to try and get a restraining order, and I need a cold shower, can I do that?

Odo stalks his waifu too, he'll understand.

They're made with Samsung galaxy 7 spare parts

Is there anybody in DS9 with a healthy and functional relationship that doesn't involve stalking, unrequited love, getting cucked by a Klingon/new body of your ex wife's slug parasite, or having your wife turn into a ten year old?

Sisko and that freighter captain. Sure she gets locked up for working with the Marquis, but their relationship wasn't that dysfunctional

Why didn't Miles just travel outside of Federation borders and fucked her?

Rom and Leeta, they are both idiots so they are well suited

He locked her up though, that's not a normal healthy relationship

>It's an the entire station thinks Bashir and O'Brien are dead so Garak breaks into Bashir's room crying and steals one of his shirts so he can make it into a pillow case later episode

why the fuck does no one on the bridge wear a seatbelt?

Because they want to be comfy

She betrayed the law. She had to do her time, but he did forgive her.

>start watching TOS
>a few episodes in, start watching TNG as well
>the second episode of TNG is LITERALLY a complete knock-off of a TOS episode but it's okay because it's a "reference" and Wesley saves the day
Holy fuck, how can you run out of ideas this early? I feel ashamed for liking TNG as a kid.

>It's a Garek gets infected by a combat high, goes Commando, kills 5 Starfleet officers before recovering and going back to being a tailor without any consequences episode

do you even star trek?

seatbelts on starships are prohibited because they would reverse the polarity of the inertial dampeners sending a negatively charged subspace relay conduit into an inverted tachyon pulse.

Idiot.

>It's a Sisko wants to send millions of Romulans to war with a fake holographic meeting but gets upset when Garak kills a criminal who would have been executed anyway episode

kek

Do almost every alien race speak English or what?

No, they just did not show episodes where there was little to no English.

Universal translator my good man. To them, we would be speaking Romulan or Klingonese or whatever.

They tried making it into a thin in the prequel series Enterprise, where they had a crewman whose job it was to translate these weird new alien languages but it was never really interesting, they never really went anywhere with it and they sort of stopped focusing on it.

>Universal translator

Then how come they stop working when the klingons are talking among themselves?

Translator nanites

Bored, cats?

You are starting in the wrong place.

You should watch Next Generation first, then DS9, then Enterprise, TOS and Voyager

It wasn't his fault! Garak is a good boy. He diddn do nuffin

>it's a those darn kids are making mischief again at the shopping mall in outer space episode

How was this railing even approved? A child could without any problem fall through it

>Troi will never call you into her office for regular consultation
>you will never look at her with a poker face while imagining sucking her toes while ramming her hard
>you will never observe her little nervous twitches as she sees the scenes in your head

>A child could without any problem fall through it
there is your answer

Cardassians built the station and they don't give a shit about child safety. The only children falling through that railing are Bajoran slave children and their lives don't matter.

Why?

the federation deliberately designs their starships and bases to kill their staff

she's a halfbreed, can only sense your perversions, not see them like her degenerate mother.

>Bajoran lives matter
How has this not been exploited for shitposting yet?

Honestly I don't think they have to shit. Transporters specially made to track people's bowl movements could transport out of their bodies converted into energy.

>Bajoran slave children
Were they allowed to walk among the cardassians?

The first season of TNG was literally using recycled TOS scripts that were tossed out

because trek fans aren't retarded

>its a Kirk insults Spock in order to save him episode

youtube.com/watch?v=rznuB1mWDnE

Im pretty sure that thing in the far left corner is the toilet

Looks very uncomfy though

I for one wouldn't want to give up the sensation for taking a shit

>You belong in a circus, Spock, not a starship! Right next to the dog-faced boy!

I miss the old Kirk.

are you sure about that?

i vaguely remember an episode of TOS where a robit gets a robit boner for uhuras singing, was that a dream or did that actually happen?

>robit

?

Wow Bernie is a Trekkie? That's rad!

Sure. Half of them had Cardassian fathers anyway.

...

That's alright, as long as she's uncomfortable but has to tolerate me. Her cougar mom would just get off on it

If people are flying about on the bridge, they're flying about everywhere on the ship, and they're constantly in motion so they'd basically have to spend their whole time sitting down and strapped in. Remember that Star Trek isn't a complete log of the events of the ship, we probably saw every time they had an inertial dampener failure during their 10 year (or whatever) missions.

Maybe they should during red alert at least though.

>Watch the episode where Worf is not allowed to kill his brother, so he mind rapes him and deletes his consciousness instead


This is super fucked up, he is essentially dead anyway, but as long as the shell is still breathing Sisko is Ok with it. It really seems worse than death

Mad Dindu detected

>Have a granny fetish
>Lxwana is a total GILF, like Jill Stein tier GILF
>Imagining trying to shield my thoughts from her

Oh fuck man I just finished watching generations
Pretty good

I knew there was no way kirk was going to live but I was still sad
kek

Starfleet are totally fucked up when it comes to morality. Sisko had no problem with Jadzia murdering a Klingon on another planet, Worf should have just left the station beforehand.

This totally happened, and the same thing happened in voyager except it was an entire species obsessed with the Doctor's singing

Oh fuck that episode of VOY so much, even for that show thats a real pile of shit

The annoying smug autistic manlet race ight be the most annoying aliens in Trek canon

Actually he forbade her from going, but she went anyway. Sisko had a pretty big problem with it.

He didn't actually try to stop her though, like refusing to give clearance to leave to any ship she was on, or punish her for refusing to obey orders.

Picard was fine with Riker killing Worf in a Klingon ceremony, so I guess Sisko is just a dick

youtube.com/watch?v=inpFEbrlICo
>ywn go to a Trek convention in the mid 70s
end it

It's nice to know autism isn't a recent issue.

this just feels like a tim and eric skit

>Going to a Trek convention ever

Yeah I bet Patrick Stewart is just ecstatic when socially inept mouthbreathers waddle up to him and inform him they've named their kid Patrick or Jean-Luc in honour of him.

Does anyone have that pic of that bloke proposing to his girlfriend in front of the cast, and you can almost taste the cringe coming from them?

This post begs to differ.