It's been far too long, so let's share what we're working on.
In addition to a monologue I'm adapting about a gay man contemplating divorce (which is coming along slowly but surely), I'm thinking about harnessing the coming winter to do a post-apocalypse short about a scavenger coming afoul of a raider's turf. Nothing particularly original but I'd like to do it.
What are you working on?
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drive.google.com
youtu.be
join.skype.com
drive.google.com
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youtube.com
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>gay man
>divorce
Uhh, what? In any case, your Fallout 4 movie sounds cool, good luck with that, hope it turns out well.
I'm working on a story about a municipal water employee who is trying to get a fax machine for the office but the council has denied him seven times and he's considering just buying one using his own money.
Office comedies are always entertaining.
Yeah, the guy that wrote it (also the lead actor), his mother divorced his father a while ago and he channeled the frustration fron that into a stage monologue. I adapted it to screenplay format, and we recently ran an informal rehearsal in an Einstein Bros. parking lot. Also talked with my DP and we did some extremely shitty blocking. At some point I need to get the three of us together so we can really hammer out the kinks in this one.
bump
Is there any way you guys could pool your resources into getting the mother and father back together again? Like the parent trap but for real
Nah, I mean he hates the dad anyway so it's pointless.
Anyway, what kind of equipment is everyone using? I got myself a Canon 70D, looking into getting some new lenses for Christmas.
The worst film ever made is better than the best film never made. The worst script ever written is better than the best script never written.
If you want to be a filmmaker but are making excuses instead of making films, Ed Wood and Tommy Wiseau are better filmmakers than you.
I'm thinking of buying Dan O'bannon's Guide to Screenplay Structure because I can't find a download for it.
Has anyone here read it?
>Anyway
Anyway? An oath is at stake here. Canon 70Ds are more important than a spiritual union transcending the material world? Can't we help this couple reunite for the sake of your friend's mental health?
Don't you think it's a little weird that he "hates" one of his parents? Can't we remedy that?
That's some inspiring shit m8.
Also, a coworker saw I was reading Syd Field's Screenwriting book and basically said "Fuck that shit, read William Goldman's 'Adventures In The Screen Trade'". Considering he did Princess Bride I'm inclined to agree with them, so I might go for that soon.
Also read most of Sidney Lumet's "Making Movies" and damn it's some fascinating shit.
A spiritual union doesn't have shit to do with filmmaking unless it's in front of the camera and controlled by the filmmaker.
Is filmmaking all that matters to you? What about your friend's happiness and wholeness? What about his parents?
This guy could be heterosexual if only he had some help dealing with his divorced parents, and here you are rambling on about Canon lenses... welp, I guess it's your concern. It's your gay friend, not mine. Tell your friend I said hi.
nice thread OP you homo.
I haven't, what credentials does he have? Is it more or less reputable than Save The Cat?
I try.
He wrote The Return of the Living Dead, Lifeforce, Total Recall, and Alien (though that one was rewritten by others). These are all some of my favorite movies, and I hear the book has some real good advise on keeping your story entertaining.
Huh, I might have to give it a run.
working out a biopic for this guy. Obv his issues escalate into drug use, then he starts raping and murdering then has a 20m long screaming monolog about how it's all his dad's fault
has anyone got a link to an archive full of downloadable links to books, etc to do with film making?
i can't afford to keep buying books desu
Bump
bump
PLEASE respond to this thread... PLEASE, ANYONE
Any fans of Seinfeld willing to read my spec. It was the first script I ever finished so go easy, or don't.
Tried posting in the Skype group but no one answered
I'm not reading a spec script for a show that's off the air. Why would you waste your time on that.
As an exercise for writing. I'm 18, and as I said it is my first script. I have seen the show through 3 times and felt very familiar with characters and the general tone of the show. However, I have since started writing more recent sitcom specs, as well as original ones.
>tfw writing script coverage for money
>tfw have to somehow critique the female characters as being poorly-drawn without seeming like a sjw
>Starts with Jerry playing Wolfenstein
What the fuck
Anyway, if we're sharing scripts I think I have a few that I've posted ad infinitum
Can't hurt to post again. Bound to be one more person that hates it.
Been focusing all my creative attention into a new stage play. Continuous action for 90 minutes as a shitty punk band attempts to prepare for their very first show by rehearsing in their basement. They have been forced into playing the show with their normie neighbor band and all their "friends" and everyone are coming out to support them. Through their different approaches to the music and what they want from the band they start running late and eventually end up just not going, then as their phones start to ring with people wondering where they are they degenerate into uncontrollable, drunken laughter realizing that nothing is more punk than not showing up to your own concert. End of play.
On the film front I have been working on a few ideas, mainly as jokes; namely a Sup Forums themed cyberpunk dystopian film for practice, Rambo 2 which retcons first blood's ending and has him shoot his way through cops and the army for the Predator Don Frye as a washed up homeless psycho who uncovers a jewish reptilian conspiracy to keep him out of hollywood
>degenerate into uncontrollable, drunken laughter realizing that nothing is more punk than not showing up to your own concert. End of play.
This sounds fucking spectacular.
Thanks, the real challenge in writing it is deciding how much to incorporate the music, because that is a whole other thing to worry about the actors learning how to do, including songs without it seeming like a performance for the audience, etc. I'm thinking of having them consistently fuck up each take they start and just give up by the end, never finishing a song onstage. Also the continuous action thing is hard, I am pretty good at writing plays but this structure is different than I have done before and it's difficult to tell if my meaningless conversation shit is boring or important to the alleged "story" of the piece
I think your stage play is a fantastic idea. I hope to read it sometime.
Thank you. It is a lot more grounded in reality and "doability" than any of my other plays, which often include high concept sets and surreal violence which would need ridiculously expensive effects work. So in a way I am hoping it will be easier to sell/get produced than the majority of my work and be my foot into the door with publishers.
I kinda like the first few pages, I do have to say though, it seems disjointed that George would mention the problem with the conductor, then just drop it and listen to Kramer talk about the puzzle. I mean he was all anxious and wanted to speak to Jerry that instant, then he calms when Kramer is around.
I cant really say much, I don't really know whats happening, and you arent painting a picture in my head, its kinda hard to imagine the stuff thats happening.
Also Bill Wilson? You had me afraid I was gonna read all of that just for a "for you"
The Bill Wilson bit was intentional.
I guess I had a good idea for a first scene but had literally no follow through, as is the issue with most of my ideas.
drive.google.com
Here's an example of what I do when I actually have an ending in mind.
Yeah that was a remnant from an abandoned plot with George. He originally came to tell Jerry about something that had just happened to him on the street but the story didn't go any where. I ended up assuming that the thing he wanted to tell Jerry was that he had tickets but it does fall short from the build up
That one was definitely better, it seems similar to something like the Nice Guys. I feel you could maybe expand on the plot a bit and make it a movie.
Really? I used to call that one of my worst scripts, but looking back I always get told it's better than what I'm writing now.
I had to abandon actually shooting that script because literally ALL my actors flaked on me (I only keep in contact with one of them anymore, he genuinely had some shit come up, the others were just hacks) and I couldn't finish it in time.
Eventually my love of neo-noir shit gave rise to this, also a common staple of these threads: youtu.be
Two of the gags in this are kinda unintentional (his car and the Walgreens bit) but I like it all the same. I'll probably not finish it until I get more comfortable with sound editing. Lord knows when that'll happen.
That's stupid. That's good if you're just starting out but to make a truly good film you should just watch good films and make sure you understand cinema as an art form. Don't do some gay "le so bad it is le good xd" that you would expect from Douge.
Some people just realize that their marriage was a mistake and move on. Just leave it. You'll just end up fucking that faggot's life up even worse.
I think you missed the point he was making. The advice is "Just do it", which is good advice. A lot of the time people say "Well, I'm a filmmaker" and they're at home studying about it, reading, and they don't end up making anything. Take that credit card, buy that camera and go out and shoot some shit. Once you've made your first film you can worry about making it better.
join join.skype.com
And ill read your work and provide feedback. Somewhere within the week.
>That's stupid. That's good if you're just starting out but
Because I'm sure there are a lot of established filmmakers shitposting on Sup Forums
Yeah but he's not saying that you shouldn't be afraid to make bad films. He's saying you should actively go out and watch bad films.
That's not what he said at all.
Real talk user... are you retarded?
Got about 1/6th through this thread before I decided that the majority of you are yuppie ass motherfuckers who couldn't make a good film if your life was literally hanging in the balance. Thanks for the inspiration to make sure you guys are never successful by being way more creative and hard working than you'll ever be and actively try to keep your shitty scripts from ever seeing the light of day. Go get a desk job you weak faggots.
Hey guys, I wrote this for an assignment. The idea was to adapt a famous short story in a 10-11 page screenplay. I would really appreciate some feedback, and will be reading some of your stuff right now to give you guys some feedback too.
drive.google.com
Please be as harsh as you need to be! Although since this is Sup Forums that's probably what is going to happen anyway
That's right user. You're gonna go out and make a masterpiece and show all of us hacks and losers just how awesome you really are.
See you tomorrow.
This. The weak should fear the strong
I type screenplays with my dick
Either you have huge keys or you have one small dick, friend.
Have to create a viral video for my final exam in college.
Thought about reenacting an old joke.
>poker night with all his buddies
>wins it all
>on way home, walking on bridge
>see person who wants to jump off because has no money to pay debts
>give him part of the money you won
>he thanks you
>next day read in newspaper a man had jumped off the bridge and the cops found fake money on him
Thought about doing it in the style of silent movies but colored and with some sounds(laugh, gasp etc) and the main dialogue to appear on screen.
People told me it wouldn't work because it's not funny, random and pleb tier
Im soon done with my first screenplay.
But im stuck in one a bit important part of the movie.
The protagonist returns home from a decade old trip and i have to show how in few days he and his father are slipping distant. Father is trying to 'cope' with daily live in poverty while son feels useless in home; as he sees in news whatkind of trouble his friend is.
Any tips? Any movies that wrestle with this idea/have scene like this?
I think the pacing is the most important here, so it doesnt come too quickly.
here
I'm skipping the Seinfeld screenplay since I don't know Seinfeld that well and can't really judge the characters and style.
Disclaimer: I'm just some random cuck and everything I say should of course be taken with a grain of salt. I'm being annoying and critical simply because I think it helps.
I enjoyed this, although it's all a bit whimsical and the passiveness of the protagonist in relation to the conclusion makes everything feel a little bit anticlimactic. However, those things add to the comedic value of the story which is nice, and I did like the humor. My main real complaints are that some of the dialogue is sort of stiff/unnatural and feel to "written-y" without having a comedic or camp value. For example, Mark's "friend" uses "was" while talking about Mark, which makes it seem like he knows Mark is dead or something; regularly people use the present tense when describing people that aren't confirmed dead. Also, the narration is funny and is an essential part of the style, but is also completely pointless at some moments. Most of the things mentioned in the narration are things that are quite obvious already. I'd make the narration a bit more subjective; give the main character a bit more personality than just him telling us what we're already seeing.
Is this unfinished? It doesn't really have an ending. If it's a twist I feel it's unsatisfactory. This script isn't bad by any means, but it's just uninspired and ultimately completely pointless. There's really no reason for the audience to care about anything and there's no pay off or an insight of any kind. Also, having an eyepatched vaper - some kind of Venom CIA - as a character combined with a "goofy gang" is a bit too silly for my taste, but that's purely subjective.
Anyone got some advice where I can find stories/free screenplays?
imsdb
If I'm a total newbie with no screenwriting experience, what book on the subject is best for me?
Im new too.
I read a few scripts. Then i read; not in this order:
Paul Lucey - Story Sense
Save the Cat!
Syd Field's Screenwriting Guide (Cant remember the anem)
Aristotle - Poetics
I think a few more, but those are something to start from.
Lucey's book was nice in a way that it explained in detail all the 'tools' you can use to move and introduce characterers and what 'hooks' you can implement to scenes.
I also read Luis Bunuel's Last Breath. It was not much about movie making, but his ideals and visions. It was very good read and gave perspective how people used to see movies as.
Getting into editing, please rate:
youtube.com
I think it's called "Your Screenplay Sucks"
wew
fellow fa/tv/irgins if you keep can this thread alive for an hour or so I'll post the short film I've just finished, just need to caption it in english
sure
Looking forward to it.
thanks pham. I'm about 33% done.
neobump
Why are there almost no creatives on this board? Is it because filmmaking involves social interaction?
Post it
I am fucking terrible at being social and i hate people but i have no problem interacting with people in the process of working on a film.
almost done! just polishing the sync
...
Ask anyone who works in the film industry anything
how do i get money
if you're honestly trying to start to earn money through production work then the easiest and most accessible starting point would be to try to get on a shoot as a Production Assistant - expect your starting rate (depending on where the shoot is and what the budget is) to be between 125.00 to 150.00 for a standard 12.5 hour shoot
Okay all done. Here it is vimeo.com
password: sarria16
enjoy
That was pretty good
thanks familia
>had to fire an actress because she didn't show up to rehearsals
It sucks but whatever, we're still cool.
>writing an 8 episode series without an overarching plot that just features a socially awkward guy manuevering through a new social life
Would anyone watch it? I'm aiming for the same tone as Atlanta and style of Atlanta/Mr Robot
I think my script is fucking fantastic.
I've only directed few short films with skeleton crew.
Any chance im going to sell this to big studio and even get to direct it?
>spend two hours captioning it for my /fpg/ pham
>just one (You)
sad!
you honestly probably have a better chance of being struck by lightning. The majority of people who end up writing or directing are either the direct result of neopotism or have been extremely lucky as far as how they got to where they are.
If you don't already have a connection to a direct representative of a studio or someone who has access to funding that would be the equivalent then getting "found" would be hard - you or what you make has to represent the potential for profit and that profit has to be worth more than whoever it is that you're pitted against (think other people in a film festival, other streamers who make videos on youtube, other writers in a screenplay competition, etc). And even then, getting the attention of those people requires a significant amount of exposure.
I liked it, user. My only complaints (which I'm only telling you with constructive intent) are that the opening credits look to digital (no grain like the rest of the film) and that the B/W bit in the middle kind of messes with the pacing.
Yeah I wanted to shoot the credits on film too but I had no money left to rent a camera for that.
The BW part serves also as an act break between acts I and II (the screenplay is structured in two acts), and to further the story. I see where you're coming from, but doing it in any other way would have required much more shooting, and I was restrained by shooting the whole thing in literally two and a half days.
Thanks for the input, always appreciate constructive criticism.
Well, i already know some producers and directors, where one has done international movies (wich you have probably seen). In that sense i am a bit ahead. But in other parts you are right. I know its gonna be hard and it's gonna require luck, but i have big faith and trust in my writing. I think i just need to make a proof of concept and it might push me more forward.
>Yeah I wanted to shoot the credits on film too but I had no money left to rent a camera for that.
Ah I see. The rest of the film looks incredibly authentic. The lighting is very period accurate and looks great. There's a plugin called FilmConvertPro that does a pretty good job of making stuff look like it was shot on film (instead of it just looking like digital with looping fake grain/scratches on top).
>The BW part serves also as an act break between acts I and II (the screenplay is structured in two acts), and to further the story. I see where you're coming from, but doing it in any other way would have required much more shooting, and I was restrained by shooting the whole thing in literally two and a half days.
That's a really quick shoot! I understand the need for the BW part and actually like the sequence. It just personally took me out of it a little bit.
>Thanks for the input, always appreciate constructive criticism.
No problem. Could you maybe give me some feedback? I'm:
aight, quid pro quo, reading it now
thanks famalam
Be as honest as possible, please.
tbqhwy I don't see the story quite working out for a short. it seems like the type of story more suited to a feature.
A teacher of mine once said: A story that works for a feature won't work for a short, and a story that works for a short won't work for a feature.
The beginning is too slow for a short film. There's no conflict until the scene with annie and maria. in a feature this is ok, but for a short it seems like somewhat wasted time. the first scene could be just terrence digging the grave, jack shows up, and they talk, from there cut to the 60's. No point in having two scenes for this.
I get that the objective of the MC is to get rich to "show them all", but the whole second act of this is basically a montage of how he manages this, there's no conflict in it. In a feature you'd have a series of scenes where he somehow resolves different conflicts to get there, but since this is a short it kinda happens "just 'cause". This should be the meaty part of the story, but there's no meat to it.
And finally, and this is more a personal taste of mine, I don't like short films (or any films at all) that only make sense at the very end. The whole point of the short is that this guy works his ass off to get land, then dies, and it's all pointless. anything that happens during the body of the story is completely interchangeable. It just comes down to "it's pointless to kill yourself working because you'll die anyway"
please feel free to question my criticism, I love discussing screenplays. It comes much easier to me than writing them in the first place.
theater is gay
me again, here's some general thoughts about writing short film screenplays:
I've noticed that often people have trouble with properly structuring short films. One hacky way is to simply have everything boils down to a big ol' twist at the end, other times it's like a condensed feature with weird pacing, other times there's not even a proper structure and it's all just a big first act and it ends on a pretentious "open ending". And another common issue, like in your case, is the meager 2nd act, the story almost jumps directly from the 1st to the 3rd act.
One solution I found is that short films work great with 2 act structure. Many people aren't familiar with this, I'm familiar with it through Gilbert and Sullivan's comic operas. Though the plots are quite dense, if you separate the different storylines you can see how each conflict is presented and resolved in two acts. In fact my short film is based on HMS Pinafore: Captains daughter loves common sailor, her father disagrees, they run away, father catches them, but turns out the common sailor was actually born to an upper class family so it's all good. A simple planting at the beginning is enough so that this deus-ex-machina ending becomes a logical consequence.
I find short film structure more complicated in a way than feature structure. We're so used to having over 90 minutes to tell a story that it's difficult to tell them in 10 or 15 minutes. My suggestion would be to look into 2-act plays or operas to understand how to structure the story without being stuck in the 3-act concept.
I found it boils down to something like this:
>initial conflict
>apparent resolution (kinda like a fake happy end)
>ACT BREAK
>complication
>resolution
Thank you!
I'm on the train right now so typing in depth posts is kind of annoying, but I'll be back for some discussion later.
m'kay, I'll try to keep this bugger bumped
dalton bumpo
Does anyone else here feel sad when they see something an user has done, that they have really put in all their effort and creative energy. And it's just complete trash.
Working on this short about a couple basically being interviewed and bitching about their relationship but there are flashbacks over there monologues of the relationship being the opposite to what they are saying.
Not the best plot but ive tried to be effective with lighting for once, so far i'm fairly happy with the result. Pic related
bump
Looks good. Like a documentary 'talking head'.
Yeah I had a another camera as well shooting from the sides so I intend to sync and cut them into one so its less boring to look at.
Finished a short film for university. I had no budget so I went 80's to go with aesthetic.
What's a good dslr for an amateur and newbie
Recommendations on canon 80d?
Awesome, how long did that take you?
1 year of planning, getting props, filming, editing and learning new VFX.
It was tough but I've not done anything like it before. Also you meet QT's