/CHI/

everything is fine edition

...

please reply

do you want wife?

what kind?

bump

CHI
It is fine and it is not fine. Past regrets really eat away at me and the future is not looking bright either. The present is kind of meh, I mostly do nothing and socialize only rarely. I have been working now every once in a while and the extra money is good, though I have no idea what to spend it on.

save up for a trip or do something fun around where you live

What are my fellow /chi/s doing for the fourth? I'm spending it alone with my dog but we got chicken to grill. Then watch the neighbors blow fireworks

in my room like always but it's storming here

That is what I intend to do. Hopefully i'll find my spine from somewhere. Though i'll probably go when it is out of season since it will be cheaper and when the weather around here starts to worsen. The summers here are actually really nice, a shame I didn't make the most of them before, or now for that matter.

what is there to do for fun in finland that doesn't involve socializing

one that cooks and cleans, bears children etc.

Fun involves drinking around here and getting drunk alone is not that fun. What people do for fun is a good question, I don't really have the answer for that.

hmm i'm not sure if I can ever have a relationship being isolated for so long and my mind set of not caring makes it hard for me to see myself with someone else
are there no amusement parks, zoo's, or aquariums?

I have seen pretty much everything that is around here, though I still do enjoy taking a walk downtown. I have been thinking that maybe I put too much emphasis on "doing" things, I should have learned to enjoy just being. The older I have become the less laid-back I am. You know, the opposite of what is normal since usually people start to come out of their "shell", not form a new one around themselves. But nonetheless that is what has happened, still things are not quite as bad as I sometimes make them out to be, I am just overly pessimistic since I am used to being disappointed. I can still turn things around, maybe now, maybe next year, or the year after that and so on. Still it becomes less likely by every years passing. I've thinking that I should try getting back into shape since I atleast was in better physical condition than the avarage joe back in the day. Though I should still find my spine before doing that.

maybe go to a different part of finland that could get you more comfortable with traveling

The same guy is in the mirror everywhere I go. I need to get better at life, knowing this does not help though. I have been mostly just regressing for the last year or two. There are a few things to better my life and myself that I have thought about (one of them is getting back into shape), I have to become a better man before I leave anywhere since as of right now I am no good for doing something as adventerous as that. I have always looked down on "back packers" who think they will find something aimlessly travelling but I am kind of hoping to find the courage and control of my life to do the same. I have written off too many things too soon and that is one of the reasons for my current state. Still I expect nothing magical to happen even if (when I say if I really mean when, I have always been like this, always leaving myself a door to quit before even trying). I would be more than happy with just making a few good memories, seeing a few new places and maybe experiencing something new.

why don't you start working out then?

I have been thinking about it and I definitely should. I probably will. That would be something I could do to better my life that does not depend on others. The worst area of my life is my social life which is also the one thing that I want to improve the most. Too bad I am have terrible social skills and I doubt I am very likeable since I am quite bitter, not that I make a number out of it in real life but being gloomy and timid do not make for a winning combination on the social scene. Though things werent great in that aspect even when I wasn't gloomy and timid, maybe it's just my personality.

maybe working out will give you more confidence and will help improve your social skills

Hey OP it's been a while. Enjoy the NEET life while it lasts
>get job at a hospital
>tfw Sup Forums is blocked at work
>live in canada so I can't phonepost
>have many things to learn so most of my free time is spent reading books or boring technical manuals
>Haven't had a good opportunity to play vidya or watch anime since I started
>No car so I have to take a train
>Train is filled with pajeets and muhammads
>Get home at 6PM, go to bed at 10:30
>Have to be up by 5:30

I hate this, I'm so miserable.
I MISS BEING A NEET!
60 grand a year isn't worth this suffering

>give you more confidence
That is a real propability
>help improve your social skills
Nah. You improve your social skills by being social, and to be social you need others who want to be around you. Maybe I should invite myself into more get togethers. As before maybe means I definitely should and intend to. Being wishy washy and indecisive is also one of my weaknesses that I have stumbled over many times.

Oh, and non-essential HVAC services to the hospital broke today, so I spent my entire day in a sweltering 35c/95f room.
I drank like 4 liters of water and my piss is still a bit dark.
It's amazing I don't have a migraine. I had a minor headache but it's receded

Atleast you are making money.

wait are you the hospital guy or the guy who turned down the cable job?

idk, every time I get a haircut it like boosts my confidence a bit not that anything changes but it makes me feel a little better about my self. it shouldn't be that hard to socialize if finland though right? here it's a nightmare to even think about socializing you have to know how to keep the conversation going at all times and you get nothing but anxiety when they the conversation comes to a stand still

I've never heard of any cable jobs, so I'll assume I'm not that guy.
Yeah, but what am I going to spend that money on?
I can pirate all of my vidya and anime.
It's not like I could ever afford an over priced Canadian house.
I guess I could get a car, but public transportation is fine as long as you're not going to a neighborhood with lots of pajeets, because then the bus/train smells horrible.
All I need is like $10 a month for a VPN.