HOLY SHIT IT'S REAL

TL
>No ticket sale to singles

Holy fuck

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_Aurora_shooting#Entertainment_industry
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Time to bring your falcon along

Anvil cleaning station where?

>Nazi Germany was defeated they said
>Stalin did nothing wrong they said

Kraut here can confirm.
That's why I always go together with my wifes Syrian bull

>go to cinema in Austria
>at the counter want to buy a ticket to Arrival
>"Uh, where's your designated cinema partner?"
>"Ahh..oh... she's just gone for a pee. Wants me to go ahead already"
>start sweating
>"Sir, I'll need to see some relationship ID please."
>"Ohh don't be ridiculous I-"
>clerk hits the singles alarm
>start running
>all exits on lockdown
>can't get out
>security surrounds me
>"SIR DROP YOUR PANTS IMMEDIATELY SO WE CAN ADMINISTER THE MALE VIRGINITY TEST!"
>"B-but"
>"SIR I NEED TO COMPLY IMMEDIATELY"
>"I just-"
>bzzzzt
>"Calm down folks, the dangerous virgin is just out cold from the tazer."
>faintly hear clapping while passing out

Fuck this country

Holy fuck Germany is a shit hole

It gets better. Today it was confirmed that an illegal immigrant "refugee" raped and murdered a 19 year old German student. Mainstream media is trying to cover it up.

Oh and the girl was a refugees welcome clapper.

Japan is doing it too

Wait that's a separate thing. Cinemas have certain seating sections for couples like two seater sofas so they can cuddle and crap.

Not entirely no singles.

no

>relationship ID
oh christ

It's probably to keep single arab men out so they don't assault boys.

Rev up those falcons

Fucking shitlord CIScum. I, Sven, go with my demi-god quasi-furkin / Otherkin's three somalian underprivileged refugee Bulls. Fucking racist shitlord. It's only right for us to let these refugees have their way with our women, due to our privilege you shitlord. Syrians are WHITE you fucking RACIST.

so two lesbians can cuddle but two gay men cant?

wow check your privilege shitlords

Sure they can. At least in Germany.

>Bald nur IM KINO
>Kino on the other poster too
What did they mean by this?

wtf!?

memes become reality

German for movie.

Sorry I mean flick.

Sorry I mean film.

Sorry I mean picture.

Sorry I mean popcorn throwing canvas.

>I'm kino
>CIA stance

>go to local kinorama and this guy slaps your gfs ass

what do you do?

That's not from a cinema you retard, its from a floor where girls go to change into cosplay. They don't allow single or groups of men only because obvious reasons.

Ihr VERDAMMTEN ARSCHLOCHAAHH

>I'm kino
>Bald Nur is an obvious reference to Bane

>literally only cinema in my town has a no singles policy

>bad shoop
>4 year old pic
Also my Sherlock skills tell me that this is an Austrian cinema. Not a German one.

Why they have beds? Do they want to be cleaning jizz stains all night?

To get comfy?

>his local kinoplex doesnt have beds

what shithole do you live in?

Somewhere without jizz covered beds in a cinema yuropoor

Why do cinemas implement such a policy?

>movie theater charges $5 fee to buy tickets online so walk to the theater in person to buy my Rogue One ticket
>go up to the box office and ask for 1 ticket for the first showing
>immediately get looks from the staff
>have to wait 10 minutes while they find a "Bachelor Attendee Audit" form. Must have been a long time since a single came in to the theaters and they needed to print one out I guess.
>have to fill out a background check form and submit 2 forms of ID
>not allowed to wear any jackets, coats, sweaters, hoodies, caps, or beanies
>can't buy anything from the concession stand
>not even allowed to choose my seat in a theater that only has reserved seating
>on top of all this I have to pay a $10 single fee plus a $20 deposit that I'll only get back if no one files a complaint against me.
>total cost was $50

>can only think about jizzing while being next to a gril
Sup virgin boy?

Penis hygiene basically.

Forcing people to bring other people generates more ticket sales.

FAKE

to prevent psycho shooters

They don't. OP is a sad loser

I hate my theater

> Be done with today's blacksmithing, figure I'd catch a kino in the evening
> As soon as I enter the theater I see the "No Singles" sign
> Get a little nervous; there's been a nationwide no singles policy since the Ministry of Diversity published their groundbreaking study
> Everyone knows this of course so signs usually aren't necessary
> Proceed onward to the front counter, I know the clerk after all
> I can see his apologetic smile all the way from the entrance
> "I'm sorry bud, but they've really started to crack down on the no singles policy after a white man attempted to mansplain the plot to Christopher Nolan's latest masterpiece to an all children, military-age male transsexual refugee audience. I can't let you in."
> I can feel the sweat oozing from every pore on my skin. My falcon begins to get restless too.
> "Haha, yeah, uhh, can I just ... can I just use the showers, I think my falcon got some of its abortion mulch onto my shoulder."
> Awkwardly begin to shuffle towards the shower entrance, now covered in thick greasy sweat.
>My miniature anvil accidentally slips from my pocket and lands on my foot
> I let out a sharp yell as I stumble forwards into the showers. My falcon panics and starts defecating wildly across the theater
> Covered in shit and sweat, I crawl across the tiled floor towards the showers
> I'm so busy bawling that I didn't even hear the singles alarm going off this whole time
> As I struggle to collect myself I accidentally bump into several pure and honest refugees culturally enriching several underage girls, who appear to be crying
> Realize I've only dug my hole deeper as my transgressions will now also be classified as a hate crime for intruding upon the customs of refugees
> I quickly try to grab the Mama Merkel Remembrance Card that I got on the day the country officially adopted Islam as the official religion
> my falcon grabs it from my hand and flies into the smithing furnace
> Pass out from the shock

>Most crimes are committed by religious non virgins.
>The media present enlightened atheist virgins as villains.
Their motives really make me wonder.

haha nice photoshop abilities my friend :)

Most crimes are commited by niggers but you don't see a "no niggers policy" in cinemas.

wouldn't you end up having someone's smelly feet right by your head?

That looks disgusting

...

i fail to see what the problem is

...

where does this falcon meme come from? I get the penis inspections and showers but who the fuck came up with a falcon?

>My Falcon panic's and starts defecting wildly across the theater

SHUT IT DOWN

Very nice, is this a new one?

Shut up fag

It's a tradition that dates back to medieval France where nobles would often bring falcons and hounds in theatres and unleash them on unlucky peasants during the intermission

No wonder French revolution happened and they killed the nobles.

No singles, find a nice jewish girl and reproduce

Make us some more consumers

>power stance
>bald nur, I'm Kino

Is this meme magic?

>It's probably to keep single arab men out so they don't assault boys.
Pretty much this

>stop sign is obviously a guy preparing to produce an energy blast of some kind, possibly the final hand sign of a jutsu

sasuga nippon

>they can't use google
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_Aurora_shooting#Entertainment_industry
>"Security Director News raised the possibility in a July 23 article that "the massacre could be a Virginia Tech for movie theaters, causing security to become a bigger part of the conversation and more stringent security procedures to be adopted at theaters across the country." Several theaters subsequently held tighter security on allowing unaccompanied singles to see films.[156]"

This post is racist, as a white man you are not allowed to have opinions like this

>no anvil rental

outdated as fuck honestly

Fake and gay
Falcon's let you bypass the nsp, that's why we bring them

Citizens united made some types of bird technically count as citizens so they let us attend screenings unattended

Exactly

because only gay kids dont have falcons

Oh fuck right off you normie. If you lack the money and dedication to buy your own anvil and bring it with you, you don't deserve to experience kinographique.

If they did it in the UK I think they'd lose a lot of business. A lot of people go alone here.

>buying your own anvil
>not getting gifted a free one by an anvil hoarder with too many anvils as it is

don't shit on other people when you are just as much of a pleb.

>two seater sofas so they can cuddle and crap
hehehehehehe

I usually hire an escort to go the movies with me.

I used to know this one who was really chill and started going with me as long as I pay for the ticket and snacks.

DR. LORAX, I'M KINO

>wanting bedbugs

what did they mean by this?

Fucking gross. Imagine all the sweat and food and shit all over those beds. I'd turn right the fuck around and leave.

...

Will baneposting inherit the Earth?

>in line
>inspector says that my falcon must take a shower before entering
>go to the showers
>falcon is a grower so he's ashamed of showing his flaccid penis in public

> Everyone knows this of course so signs usually aren't necessary
except you, retard

>Oh and the girl was a refugees welcome clapper.

>time for the mid movie dance number
>didn't practice at all
>échappé sautéd towards corner 3 instead of corner 4

JUST

>this meme making a comeback at the end of the year

because all mass murderers are virgin white male scum

>Germany has a no singles policy
>UK has a tv licence

what next?

Link?

Is that Millenium City Wien?

Why should one case define the entirety of refugees? There's bad apples with every race

privilege inspections

>He sits in a bed with a woman and doesn't make a move

lel

name ONE bad white person

1st jan is the anniversary of the anvil addition.

Just google it retard

>refugees
economic migrants*

>making the movie equals jizzing
>in a room full of strangers
>while I try to watch a movie
ehm okay buddy.

Memes have become reality

Now all we need is a penis inspection day

That's what I was about to say

This feels like the new PID to me

hurr

Irrelevant, what I'm trying to understand is why should a single violent crime convince me to hate all refugees and immigrants forever?

...

?
who said that?