I like to imagine her surprise when Howard reveals how ducks actually mate. Imagine being him...

I like to imagine her surprise when Howard reveals how ducks actually mate. Imagine being him, grabbing and holding her tight as your corkscrew duck dick jackhammers her tight human pussy, breaking the ultimate taboo: bestiality... with a duck. The corkscrew jackhammers right to her womb and causes irreparable damage but gets her pregnant with a 1/4 duck baby. I'm assuming Howard is half duck as he looks like a duck crossed with a human. In fact, I like to imagine Howard's member as a combination between a corkscrew duck penis and a human penis.

I've written a few sequels in my head about Howard potentially starting a breeding farm in an inevitably suicidal attempt to recreate his race on Earth. Eventually he realizes it was the other way around - humans and ducks both separately evolved from Metaducks (a coin I termed for Howard's race.) Just imagine being Howard as you walk slowly, hands behind your back, observing the rows and rows of imprisoned humans and ducks forced to breed. At first Howard had genuine scientific goals, but soon after realizing the failure he was, he began to fetishize the operation in an attempt to cover for it. He enjoyed seeing the ducks and humans fuck in various ways. He enjoyed seeing screaming duck-human hybrids hobble along the ground, saying "mama? mama?". As Howard walked down that hallway, he was a king. A sick, twisted king sitting atop a throne of shit. But it was *his* throne of shit.

Howard's penis is akin to a cosmic roadway, spiraling up and down seemingly forever, its twisting veins the only detail on its glistening and supple white skin. Howard's penis is white. There's no doubt about it. Bright white. And the tip is bright orange. I can see it now: that corkscrew, that marvel of God himself, that perfect and lustful and so savagely violent tool of breeding: Howard's cock, jackhammering Lea Thompson's tight human folds. She would begin to rupture at the vagina and slowly cave in on the crushing movements of Howard's screwcock. Her body would inevitably be ripped to shreds by the up and down movement of the corkscrew itself. Howard would literally would fuck her to death.

Hot

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTT

I honestly don't even know what's ironic anymore.

...

I really really REALLY like this pasta, baby

What am I reading

There's nothing ironic about this. I'm legitimately wondering why Howard the Duck isn't considered kino. It's not as if he wasn't fit to play any more sequential roles in films.

I actually have to wonder how people haven't been more attracted to Howard as a character. Imagine being Lea Thompson, the first human to physically touch and caress Howard's light and supple white feathers. It would be like running your hands over the very sky's clouds themselves, so beautifully and perfectly aligned to cover his no doubt literally goosebumped skin underneath. That layer of clothing you could never remove unless Howard was dead... But no, you couldn't let that happen. You are dedicated to him, like no other.

He's here to save the world, the first extraterrestrial to visit Earth, and you, Lea Thompson, are the first person to copulate with him. There could be no greater honor or exhilarating event that a single human could be chosen for. But I can also imagine her being so scared and unsure of who Howard was, what his purpose was, what her purpose was... It's overwhelming to think about. He truly is our Swan Knight.

Have you felt it?

>tfw can't find duck on human porn

Ducks are not mammals

They're implants.

refer to

Any Lea Thompson nudes out there?

thats not a duck

its an alien on a world where avian duck like beings evolved instead of apes

what are you tapping into?

the memes must flow

just a coincidence

I guess we've settled it. Howard really is kino. My dubs prove it.

I believe the key is realizing that we only ever pretended that irony existed. Now we're understanding: we were serious the whole time.

To help you visualize

I don't know what I expected.

BDC
D
C

...

Q U A C K E D

wow

(Ooh, why go, ooh)

You aint got the class, boy, you aint in his league.
So dont try to tell me that youve got the things that I need, huh!
This guys ORIGINAL, hes got the JUICE.
WellHEY look out, world, THE DUCK IS ON THE LOOSE, RIGHT
[Quacks x 9]

(Ooh) Uh huh (ooh)

(Ooh) Get that planet on the phone (ooh) aint no time to waste.
(Ooh) Tellem he aint coming home
(Ooh) Done joined the Human Race!

Call him Howard THE DUCK (ooh) aint no way to conceal it.
With a feathers touch I love him apart.
Call him Howard THE DUCK (ooh) if it aint funk, you dont feel it.
And he shot an arrow straight to my heart.

(Ooh) To this duck we say a toast.
(Ooh) So get the bumpin offa his case.
(Ooh) Though hes got two footed foes
(Ooh) Has saved the Human Race!

Here before your very eyes, hes gonna be, gonna be here with you.
I used to think it was all in my mind.
Hes gonna see some people tonight I GIVE YOU:

Howard THE DUCK (ooh)
No way to contain him! In a second he would love you apart.
Call him Howard THE DUCK (ooh)
No way to explain him! The fellow with the beak has stole my heart.
Well ALL RIGHT!

(Ooh) (Ooh) (Ooh) (Ooh)

Hmm, Hickory Dickory DUCK (ooh) He aint about to be plucked.
Too groovy for gravy, too precious for pt.
Hes a funky little feather baring water fowl.
Quack right in their face (ooh) little ducks in the Human Race.
Come into my tub of love.

Here before your very eyes, hes gonna be, gonna be here with you!
I used to think it was all in my mind, ooh
Hes gonna see some people tonight I give you:
AAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Howard THE DUCK (ooh) No way to conceal it!
With a feathers touch I love him apart!
Call him Howard THE DUCK (ooh) He gets bumped, he dont feel it
And he shot an arrow straight to my heart.
Howard THE DUCK (ooh) Gets a bump he dont feel it
In a second he would love you apart.
Howard, ooh, THE DUCK (ooh) Aint no way to conceal it!
And he shot an arrow straight to my heart! AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!