JUST

JUST

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youtube.com/watch?v=BAG_EkEcofI
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youtube.com/watch?v=3YXl5uh2CLs
youtube.com/watch?v=2WPZ936W4Cw
tusseycustom.com/steven-seagal-talks-guns/
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whut happen?

Dey tooker

welli'm sorry to eerthaht

EASY.

Well my good sir i am terribly saddened to hear that.

Because now.....

>Steven Seagal bad

so it's all the way around to being good?

based Steven did it again.
somebody give him a life jacket before he drowns in punani.

MSM simply hates based Seagal for making awesome movies that don't necessarily fetshize the West.

>Russian name
What's going on here?

>avcuck

kys

i have to see it then

i loved the one with "wha happened"

it's on netflix. it's just perfect

I've never seen a single Steven Seagal movie.
Tell me - are they bad (good) or are they bad (bad)?

He's an Uncle Vladimir.

Is it possible Steven Seagal's movies are a form of money laundering?

>His movies have been straight to home video for almost a couple decades

>Seagal himself appears to put in less and less effort with each new release

>"Hollywood accounting" can make it seem like Star Wars movies lose money, maybe they can make it seem like a movie "made" money when it really didn't

The first ones were genuinely good (good), the middle ones bad (bad), but his new ones are bad (good).

They're bad (bad), completely not enjoyable. Only good thing about them is the meme potential

>completely not enjoyable.

reddit detected

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I will snatch every mother fucked birthday

Reddit is precisely the place where people who enjoy watching "le so bad it's good" crap hang out. I suggest you go back there.

That's exactly Sup Forums tho. Reddit's all serious due to them being majorly 13-20 y/o so they desperately want to come across as adult and sophisticated.

> filenames

Out for Justice and Under Siege are the only movies he stars in that are worth watching. Executive Decision is good, too, but he's only in that for like 15 minutes.

can we make this a /seagal/ webm thread, please?

They also want to desperately imitate Sup Forums to the point where they take Sup Forums shitposting seriously and start watching genuinely shitty movies because le meme Seagull is fat lmao XDDDD

Im pretty sure it is. For wealthy Russians.

someone post the seagal film with like 25 cuts for a guy falling out a window, i can't remember the title

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>that nigger's face

thanks

Try not to laugh

what's the name of the kino?

That kind be real.

Kill Switch

why is he holding the gun the wrong way?

this is an edit right? source

how much body armor is he wearing?

A lot, especially around the belly. Need a lot of armour there, that's why it looks thicker around the pouch area.

do they just pull him along on some board cause he doesn't like walking?

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This mutha ain't white.

youtube.com/watch?v=BAG_EkEcofI
genuine kinography

I've got a friend who worked on the set of one of his movies. He said Seagal doesn't take showers ever because of reasons and only cleans himself with wet wipes and he smelled like shit obviously.

>that subtle sleight of hand to catch the gun slipping off his equipment

Is Seagal a genius?

youtube.com/watch?v=UJ0kZHzt8bg
here's some fresh seagal kinematograph

>Russians making fun of having street crime
ok

Range from "good bad" to "so bad that they're irritating"

> American troops

he moves like a walrus

You tell me.

youtube.com/watch?v=3YXl5uh2CLs

>Most of the movie, he spends sitting down or walking (again, slowly) up and down flights of stairs. There is a love scene—and, Jesus, what a love scene. His fully dressed body is lowered over a naked woman like a drawbridge. He doesn’t take off his glasses. He never takes off his glasses. Also, he doesn’t drive, which is a shame, because it is a well-documented fact that Seagal is the worst fake driver in Hollywood; this might be the first time that green screen—really awful green screen—has been used to make it look like an actor is just sitting in a parked car. Overall, he gives the kind of performance traditionally associated with stars who died during filming. And yet, Seagal is in almost every scene.

AV Club pulling no punches.

KINO

I love how popular Seagal is in third world countries desu

>His fully dressed body is lowered over a naked woman like a drawbridge. He doesn’t take off his glasses. He never takes off his glasses.
And that's just for the movie. Imagine all the young actresses that had to fuck him to get a role.

He really isn't, he's a big joke. That's why he's in that commercial. You really think russians are so stupid as not to see he's a fat fuck and his movies suck?

I don't get it. Is he refusing to walk / run in this scene and is being pulled while standing on some sort of platform?

He's popular in ex-communist countries because there were almost no American movies shown there for half a century. So in the 90s Seagal, Arnold, Van Damme and the rest were mega popular and still are considered celebrities, especially when they go there to shoot their C-movies.

t. Eastern Euro

Wait, this isn't one of those crazy backyard porn movies like the "cook" one?

I'm not even kidding, if you edit Segal's face off no one would be able to tell the difference.

Yes

What the fuck?

Seagal got into some sort of dispute with the producers of that flick and refused to do his own dubbing for some reason. He's done that in a few of his other movies as well.

>Seagalkino
>bad

This movie has some of the worst editing I've ever seen. In anything. Really nauseating stuff.

I dare anyone in this thread to make it through this fight scene from the same movie. Action starts at the 36 second mark.

youtube.com/watch?v=2WPZ936W4Cw

needs an epileptic warning

I unironically think that's really cool

>Try not to laugh

Good one. It's impossible.

What are some essential Seagalkino films to view?

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what's wrong with trying to minimize your profile peeking around the corner?

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EASY

pure operator kino

someone post the sword fight and the dudes with guns running to him

Here's that infinity I was telling you about

>AV Club

How am I supposed trust this review? I don't know if they dislike this film for objective reasons or political reasons.

Him losing some weight would do much more for him in that department.

You can stop watching at Exit Wounds. Out for Justice and Under Siege are the best two probably.

How can one man be so great and yet so humble at the same time?

He was the equivalent of Vin Diesel or.. idk who you homos watch now, that Thor guy I guess but back then

He kicked ass and so did his movies. But that was when action movies were common place, killing someone on the screen meant they could probably do it irl too, or so you thought. For instance Arnold was a real body builder, Van Damme really knew martial arts, Chuck Norris really did fight Bruce Lee, Stallone was really a Guido. All that meant something to the audience

Their movies were seen as an exhibition of what the guy could do. Now it's all about screen presence and it doesn't matter if you're just a face with no real skill off camera.

Given that those things no longer mean anything and you have no idea who he is you might not like any of his movies

OPERATOR

tusseycustom.com/steven-seagal-talks-guns/

Alright lads, who here reckons they could take Big Steve in a fight?

>he gives the kind of performance traditionally associated with stars who died during filming.

Steven was the most badass of all them. He has more merits and badassery than anyone.

He has the blackest black belt in Aikido. He was trained by the man who invented Aikido. He worked for CIA. He fought against Yakuza. He is a real life Sheriff. He gives Aikido training for Arizona police officers, FSB agents and Serbian commandos.

youtube.com/watch?v=Cki-2aQqN_I

>AV Club

Are you serious? He rarely ever gets a scratch. Even when he gets shot (Under Seige 2, Out for Justice) its barely a flesh wound. He somehow survives a couple of shot gun blasts in Hard to Kill, albeit he does end up in a coma for several years.

Seagal is so out of shape that literally anyone in Sup Forums could win him in a fight.

That hairline was before he started drawing with a black marker on it.

I don't get it, does he have diabetus or something?


why is he so fucking slow?

Jesus christ a few seconds of that and im getting motion sickness. His straight to video stuff from 2000 onwards is really bad. Of the handful Ive seen Ive noticed that some have straight up out of sync scenes that go beyond continuity errors, its like no-one watched the edit before release.

maybe from fighting and fight training for about 40 years?

Nah, it's textbook but that lbv with all that ammo and stuff tends to make one clumsy. He's just green and out of shape af
And he's not even wearing standard issue armor that's like a heavy wrap around turtle shell.

Pure trigger discipline.

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headbob=off.jpg

He honestly looks pregnant with that gut.

It's body armour. Christ, you need extra protection around your belly because it's a soft and vulnerable spot. Seagal understands that.

That's basically the plot of The Producers.

Watching Under Siege because of this thread.

Thanks OP.