Have been poking fun at metalfags for some time now

>have been poking fun at metalfags for some time now
>listen to metal for the first time today
>actually like it
what the fuck

>listen to metal for the first time

excuse me what

My parents sheltered me from stuff they thought was "edgy" and that stuff was included
And when I got freedom I just never bothered to listen to it

what did you listen to?

There's hundreds of different forms of metal, retard.

Sorry for the late reply, Metallica's Ride the Lightning.
Kinda normie shit, but I thought a famous Thrash Metal band would be a good place to start
okay

this is one of the worst threads i have ever seen in my life

and it’s all shit

Try out Megadeth's Hangar 18 album, a lot of the tracks on there fucking rock and it is arguably their best album.

Also try fucking Wolfmother by Wolfmother for a Psych-Rock trip of an album.

For Dessert, go listen to Iron Maiden's Powerslave.

Keep in mind, Metal can get cringe-inducing if you focus on the immature lyrical content, so just listen for those sick riffs and get lost in the righteous sound.

AND DON'T TELL ANYONE YOU LIKE METAL OR YOU ARE GOING TO GET WEDGIE'D LIKE A MOTHERFUCKERRR

You can still make fun of them. Half the metal bands that exist to be edgy for the sake of it need support to keep going.
Just like how most anime has fanservice to keep the otakus shelling out money. You can blame the fans who have less self awareness than a fish.

...

Fucking this. Metal is probably my favourite genre of music but it's still so varied and diverse that there are sections of it I dedicate all my attention towards taking the piss out of.

>immature lyrical content
are horror/action movies immature too, dumbass?

Metal vocalists aren't dumb rappers trying to convince you that everything they say really happened.

Except Toxik from Diapsiquir but look where that line of thinking led him: now he went full catholic in a desperate attempt to stay edgy.

Is this copypasta?

>Megadeth's "Hangar 18" album

>are horror/action movies immature too, dumbass?
Yes.

>2. You will immediately cease and not continue to access the site if you are under the age of 18.

Yesss, YESSSS.... Let the testosterone flow through you

>Megadeth's Hangar 18 album
yikes

>I only watch big boy movies and big boy musics for grown-ups with important jobbies

Fuck off with that elitist bullshit. Your band isn't Vegan Post-Seperatist NuBlack Grindcore, it's just fucking metal.

I have a few bands to suggest that may appeal to you:

Protest the Hero
The Contortionist
Between the Buried and Me
Dream Theater

And if you're feeling adventerous for real heavy music:
Car Bomb
IWRESTLEDABEARONCE
Dillinger Escape Plan

...

you have not heard many "real heavy" albums have you?

Must be

>really heavy
>Dillinger Escape Plan
Do you even listen to metal?

OP there are way better bands than Metallica. If you liked RTL try Kreator,Sodom,Voivod,Exodus,Venom,Sepultura,Possessed and then you'll start loving Death Metal and all that other shit and after a while you'll realize the best metal genres are traditional heavy,black and trad doom

Same thing is happening to me OP. I started getting into metal several days ago and I can’t stop. I just finished listening to Morbid Angel for the first time and like with nearly all the bands I’ve checked out so far, it was great. There are a bunch of bands and releases to listen to and it’s overwhelming in the best way possible. I’m looking forward to checking out all this stuff. Max comfy right now desu.

t. soybois

good post

underage

>Metal loses most, if not all of its charm and mystique when you realize that the majority of its creators are twenty-something middle-class white men who have existed outside the realm of suffering and despair that their music revolves around. It's laughable to me that people who grew up in affluent families, in American suburbs or countries like Norway, which has one of the lowest crime rates in the world, sing such vulgar songs about death and hell, torture, and killing. They adorn their album covers with grotesque pictures showing burning churches and dismembered corpses, and they do this because they want to portray themselves as being hardcore, death loving badasses who revel in the sight of brutality and gore, but the reality couldn't be farther from what they want us to believe. They come from loving and wealthy families, went to schools in good neighborhoods. The last thing they should be doing is screaming about tortured corpses and beheading angels in hell.

"Heavy metal is a world of its own, and even critics in their 30s who grew up listening to AOR like Led Zeppelin and Quiet Riot seldom maintain a serious affection for the stuff. Rock intellectuals invariably prefer punk, alternative, even rap, and their disdain rankles the metal faithful. The phallic narcissism of metal has few parallels outside of toilet art, X-rated movies, and (oh yes) hip-hop."

"As one of those rock intellectuals, I remain unconverted. It never seems to occur to metal enthusiasts that for many of us, metal's melodramatic, reverb-drenched strain is precisely what rock and roll was put on Earth to save us from."

Absolutely irrelevant and hypocrite coming from a man who gave Suicide's selft-titled a 9/10.

This
so much this

KYS

man this site is full of little children

t. someone who doesn't like metal and doesn't understand why people enjoy it.
this is such a brainlet statement that i'd be surprised if this guy can enjoy any art at all. i mean, imagine finding an interesting piece of art and discarding it as garbage after finding out the artist's background doesn't fit the art. utterly ridiculous.

>Hate metal
>Decide to listen to this after everyone saying it's AOTY
>Holy shit it's actually good and atmospheric. No shitty screaming vocals, dumb "cool" riffs or lyrics about the devil

Bebê vestido adulto

>listen to metal for the first time today
How sheltered are you?

Good metal died in 1974

Or maybe we have different ideas of what heavy is. You can always offer a suggestion instead of complaining about mine.
Offer a suggestion then.

People like you are painfully cringe

Fair enough, provided you extend that to film and literature. Many of those artists haven't experienced true horror either.

that's not a scaruffi quote. he has high praise for a lot of metal.

What a fuckin awful thread

>stop liking what I don't like
Offer a goddamn suggestion then. It takes no effort whatsoever to be a trash talking cunt.

fuk u ur gay

L O W E N E R G Y

Not even stuff that's only arguably metal, like Alice in Chains?

@77045623
>it's all metal bro!!!111!!!!1!one!
you don't even deserve my (You)

Just because you have so little going for you that you need to split hairs on a genre of music to feel even one iota of special and worth anything. Different strokes I guess. Now are you going to suggest music or are you going to be a whiny child?

this post (the one you're reading right now) is literally the 2nd itt
i'll make a chart for shit i think is ok for a beginner to listen to
see ya in about 5 minutes

Do you always come in to threads like a toddler screeching about something you disagree with? You should try starting your first post in a thread with a helpful suggestion.

>real heavy music
>posts only garbage lightweight shit
dude, listen to some actual good stuff

I'm a bit worried about telling you to go kill yourself because you seem pathetic enough to actually do it.

shut the fuck up asshole and be grateful i actually spent the time to make this
listen to these in order
if you don't like them, eat shit fuck off and die

not the pleb you're corresponding with, but this is a pretty nice chart desu

hey thanks man

>implying I give a single shit about what kind of person is behind the music

Metal>all genres of music post 1950

...

>shut the fuck up asshole and be grateful i actually spent the time to remember how to not sperg out and be a cockwrangler
Was it really that difficult for you?
Also, solid choices.

>stop liking what I don't like
Like what?

Varg BTFO

>hey mom, I told a guy on the internet to go kill himself
>I am so cool

Another retarded namefag to add to the filter

for the most part I make fun of shit that I like because that way I know what to say to annoy people.

BTBAM & Protest the Hero are fine but Dream Theater are hot garbage

t. nu-male

you suck

faggot

> I only listen to REAL heavy music
> lists prog-metalcore

Well, listen to the old classics first of all. You seem to have a pretty surface/mainstream view of the genre, and those bands you listed are a bunch of hacks that don't demonstrate the truly great material that the scene as a whole is capable of putting out. Look, if you just said something like "Iron Maiden" or "Judas Priest", you would've actually helped since those bands are a great gateway into the other stuff, and nobody denies that they're actual good metal.

this
there's absolutely no way that poster isn't underage

Funeral Doom is awful. It's pop at a glacial pace.

Heavy Metal: Iron Maiden - The Number of the Beast

Thrash Metal: Slayer - Reign in Blood

Death Metal: Morbid Angel - Altar of Madness

Black Metal: Darkthrone - Transilvanian Hunger

Doom Metal: Candlemass - Epicus Doomicus Metallicus


Here have entry level albums for every main metal genre. Don't listen to that metalcore fag.

>the majority of its creators are twenty-something middle-class white men who have existed outside the realm of suffering and despair that their music revolves around
>They come from loving and wealthy families, went to schools in good neighborhoods.
Tom G Warrior from Hellhammer/Celtic Frost would like to have a word with you

Odyssey to the West is the only good deathcore album I've come across, but it's more prog than anything...

metalfags are the only low test virgins here I just got fucked less than 5 minutes ago

The Man with No Face is their better album, imo. while the vocalist's growls on odyssey to the west are god tier it seems like it's too epic in scope with all the different things going on that the songs themselves suffer.

Which makes sense since the member who composes most of the music said it was unfinished when the other two members decided to release it. still a good album though and it's a real shame those guys will never work together again

Rust in Peace

t. nu-male

>Jews not liking metal

Stop the presses.

Eh, he's got a point, but no every musician can be from a hell hole like the Dem. Rep. of Congo.

>hates prog and metal for allegedly being pretentious and betraying rock n roll's simple, fun, working class roots
>refers to himself as a "rock intellectual"

>are horror/action movies immature too, dumbass?
Yes? Fucking lel
>Metal vocalists aren't dumb rappers trying to convince you that everything they say really happened.
Defending a genre of music by showing its superiority to hip-hop is really sad, to be desu

this but unironically

Who even is this nobody kike?