Well?

Well?

See this guy over here surrounded by attractive women? He uses this pen

do you want to buy this pen

buy my pen?

no
no

Do me a favor and write your name on this piece of paper

...

see this pen? It was in Taylor Swift's hot stuffy asshole last night.

Listen 'ere you fahkin cunt yer gonna hand ovah the pounds sterlin' or get a bash right to the gabber I swear on me fahkin queen and cunty I do I do

I personally love this pen, it is the best pen.

uhm cash or check?

Kek

>Leo my friend, let us try something.
>here suck on this
>green light turns on
>"oooooo" Leo says as he sucks in the white vapor
>well that's just it leo,
>"What is?" says Leo as he exhales the beautiful exotic vapo(*u)r

buy this pen or your mother will die in her sleep tonight

>engrave star wars: the pen, on it

I gotta blank check here for you
All you have to do is write down the amount you want right now

This pen is amazing, and I would know, I have the best pens. Everyone comes to me for pens, they come to me for fountain pens, ballpoint pens, tremendous and great pens. And with this pen you're going to see just how much better your life is going to be, and by the way since we're talking great lives I should just mention my life, fantastic. I have the best life of all lives, thanks to my lovely wife and children and the fantastic business I built, none of which I could have gotten without this pen.

The first thing you want to do is build some report with the customer and then find out what they are looking for in a pen.

If they are looking for a pencil then sell them a pencil, otherwise use the knowledge they gave you to sell the pen.

That is basic sales 101

I HAVE A SON. HES 10 YEARS OLD. HE HAS PENS

wow I would never buy a pen from a greasy haired pencil thin mustachioed salesman who treats me like "just another customer"

This pen doesn't affect climate change

Sales is a numbers game, if a person does not want to buy the pen you move on to the next person. No point in wasting your time trying to convince a firm no.

A good salesmen is looking for that small percent of people that are on the cusp and can be convinced.

I'm offended and will no longer reply to you. good day, sir

Oh fuck you guys have a fucking meme for a president. Funny fucking shit by the way

Barron for Cyber Security Specialist, yes?

>Why this pen?

pens are better than pencils i think

Damnit. Beat me to it.

>Because if you don't buy it, I'll shootchu in your fuckin head

>yfw you don't by my fucking pen

this pen will allow you to actually grow a full manly beard instead of some half neckbeard bullshit that people laugh at behind your ba... hey Leo where you going?

Buy this pen so your pocket protector isn't so useless.

See Leo, this pen was made with natural, renewable resources only by buddhist communities in Bangladesh. For every dolar you pay for it, 5 cents will be donated to Global Warming investigations. Also, you can vape with it

>that feel when you zone out for about 20 minutes during the Departed and then suddenly everybody's killing each other and you have no idea what the fuck is happening in the plot.

Isn't the real answer like:

>"go ahead and write something down."
>person realizes they can't because they don't have a pen

I want to buy that pen.

>implying you need a pen to write something down
>implying this wasn't just a hamfisted attempt at illustrating manufactured scarcity
>implying this whole example would even work today

Im not good at sales. Good movie though

You must actually look like that if you couldnt follow the plot of the Departed

>Text well-known, well-connected family member to call Leo's office, saying he wants to meet to discuss a large investment. Tell family member to ask Leo to write down the address real quick, because he's in a rush.

>Leo looks up

>"I'll sell you this pen for $10000"

In five years from now you could be in five stars resort earning money and enjoying life. That would have happened if you signed the best contract of your life. That would have happened if had this pen.
Buy it and change your future.

Sold.

YOU BUY!?

kek, why are people so gullible?

No, this pen is very dear to me. I can't imagine living without it.

Yes, the whole point was to create the need in the customer's mind, a need that your product can conveniently fulfill.

The movie wasnt set today, it was in the 80's and 90's

Now answer the other two.

I used to write everything in pencil, but sharpening them irritated my eyes, the dust got everywhere, just a mess.

So I figured I'd try a sharpie, but that shit just bleeds right through the paper, and it's big as shit compared to a sleek, compact, water-proof BIC pen.
I used a pen like this to write the first card to my fiance. I'm going to use this pen to sign the marriage register. And I'll use this pen to fill out the birth certificate of our beautiful baby boy when he's born.

Make the write choice, choose a pen.

buy this pen and ill suck ya dick maannn

I have a fucking 9mm pointed at your fucking balls under the table
Buy this pen for 0.45cents or say good bye to your boys you fucking cuck

You see this pen? Look at it. Really look at it. Filter out any extrasensory and intrusive thoughts and solely focus in on this pen. You are not buying an ordinary pen. No. This pen is magical and everytime you use it you will be reminded of the hyper sharp focus that you experienced right now. This pen is a totem for clarity and confidence, and at bargain deal of $6.66 you end up saving thousands of dollars from life gurus, shamans and esoteric spiritualists.

Well in the business world you do (or did) in fact need a pen to write things down. as far as the "hamfisted attempt" Its just a small example of how to sell, your'e overthinking it.

shit

shit

fine

true answer

You literally answered nothing. Even with your first post.
Buy my pen and take some notes on how I just fucking schooled you.

makes you look pretty fucking stupid when they DO have a pen

you give the customer an EMOTIONAL need for the product, not try to manufacture some shitty contrived situation where they have to write something down right there and then

guarantee you don't work in sales

no i don't, and when did i say that? I was mentioning the movie. Doesn't dicaprio say "try to write something down" or whatever and the person he was talking to didn't have a pen.

yeah and it was a shitty example of how to sell a physical product in the movie as well

its a metaphor for the financial products he specialized in, but it doesn't work in real retail

ironically, i specialize in selling mouth fedoras. thanks for the publicity, Leo!

>they're hip and cool, Leo Di Caprio and Jonny Depp use them!

How hamfisted a sales pitch do you do? Are neckbeards that easy a sales pitch? Do you actually name check DiCaprio and Depp?

Fuck you, that's my pen, you can't have it!

You sound mad newbitch. Why don't you take a break from the computer.

>The irony

So what the fuck was this guy's problem, both in the movie and IRL?

Is he just a greedy faggot who happened to be smarter than average or an outright psychopath?

If you dont buy this pen you cant do the rest of this demonstration

I've only been working retail for a year and in that time i've gone from a part-time assistant to running my own shop

whatever i'm doing seems to work
and contrary to popular belief, the majority of customers are middle aged or retired people

...I'm eating.

Lol look guys his face is turning red kek.

I was being glib with the neckbeard comment since they are the ones most likely to do their research before even stepping into a shop.

But good for you man, use your skills and build your own.

Damn right. And it's going to be amazing.

Also nice digs.

>bookending your post with lol and kek
Don't pop a blood vessel, you little penis.

lol but tell em why u mad tho

if you dont buy this pen im going to tell everyone you are gay

>so triggered he can't even type straight
Goodbye. :^) I'm going out for a burger.

it's a nice shape to stick up your ass, faggot

...

pretty good

*blush and panic* 'bah uh I ahh...hm. heh hehe' *shrug*

sold.

>You stupid shitlord manbabies better buy this pen or else you're just an evil racist sexist nazi homophobic xenophobic alt-rigt islamaphobic bigoted prejudice straight manchild neckbeard virgin fuccboi pissbaby. the FIRST writing utensil was invented by egyptian blacks 10000 years ago while your goblin whiteman race was scrounging for parasites in your shit. It was made by a multicultural team of 50 people from non gmo organic grass fed plastics and was kickstarted by 12,000 people and costs $50 BUY IT NOW IF YOU DONT YOU'RE, fucking, A WHITE MALE

sup Hillary

...

I'll give you 5 dollars for your autograph OP.

You don't have a pen?

Give ya 4 bucks for mine.

*you can have fine for four bucks

I'm a tard

I don't think you understand the concept of a "sale".

sold

It's a big pen.

build some report

>report

wtf I want a pen now?

top kek

>going out for a burger
lol mad fatty

that's the joke

just stop

The most important moments in history were solidified by the pen. Think of the capabilities of this device. You can buy a home, a car, start a war, and make peace. It is the backbone of every treaty, war, marriage, purchase, credit card occupation, official document, and your own birth certificate was written with one. It is the single most capable device in history

The real question is not why you should buy it, but why shouldn't you?

Rob him, then give him the pen, don't.

for Jews

>Getting interviewed for a job at starbucks
>Interview is going really well
>Says she wants to see my salesmen skills
>Interviewer then literally hands me a pen and asks me to sell it to her
>Give her a "are you serious" face, laugh a little, think she's joking
>She ain't
>Get really nervous, remember this movie
>"uuuh, heh, uuuh, c-can you write your name down for m-me?"
>She stares at me, says she can't
>Tell her I'll sell her the pen then
>She stares and then lets out a unsatisfied laugh and says "Yeah that works but it's not really what we're going for"
I didn't get the job

I dont get sales either. Its just not something my personality lends itself to

fine

I just wasn't expecting it at an interview for fucking starbucks and certainly not the dumb pen one