>Be Harry Potter, now who lived
>Popular quiditch player
>Killed Darkest Wizard of the Age
>Doesn't go back to school and use his new found popularity to enjoy life, date girls, and finish school at a place that became his home
>Becomes wizard cop, doing paperwork all day
>Marries best friend's sister who has been stalking him around since he was 11
>Doesn't become famous quiditch player
>Doesn't become best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in recent memory
JUST
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*boy
Harry 'Shouldn't have marry' Potter
his exemplary skills were only there because he had Voldy's soul in him giving him power
he's just a slightly above average wizard without it
What else did you expect from the DULLEST FRANCHISE
>Harry was a bad wizard
When will this meme end? He's top of his class in Defense Agaisnt the Dark Arts consistently, is the best flyer at Hogwarts and is shown to do above everqge or even very well in his other classes.
Sure, he's not Hermione, but at least he didn't marry a Weasley..... oh wait
Mary Sue
The fact that he became an auror makes no sense. Not only did he show disdain for the law and ended up breaking every school rule in Hogwarts and many Ministry laws, there was no implication anywhere that he actually enjoyed fighting death eaters. In fact it was a death eater who suggested he become an auror. He was clearly more suited to be a pro Quidditch player or a DADA teacher. But a glorified cop?
Can someone fucking post it please?
People grow up, user.
Copy pasta guy is slow today
Its easier to write books about a cop wizard than a teacher wizard
His career choice assures the continuity of Rowlings career if she wishes(needs) so
After defeating Voldemort he realized that Harry potter is one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
He's the Ash Ketchum
Maturing him wouldn't be a good business choice.
>but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement.
>implying Bond isn't shit
I know it's pasta but I never read that part before.
Checked
Sometimes I post Harry Potter threads just for the pasta tbqh
He became the wizard Dirty Harry.
All of his skills which surpass a normie-tier wizard are due to either being part Voldemort, having Snape meme cheat codes, or being groomed by Dumbledore. His only demonstrable natural ability is flying because his dad was based at it.
>implying an auror isnt a cool job
You are basically a fucking dark arts secret agent. Who wants to be a teacher?
Oh, and he even fucking cheated at that because he always had performance-enhancing brooms.
He had heart. He technically was a fucking professor year five when they had a shit tier DADA teacher. He is no slouch what he knows he is good at and this was due to not snapes book or dumbledore but his entire experiences
>a-at
still makes me smile for some reason
I like how the first few lines change now
>now
Its been going on religiously for almost six months
You can count on one hand the feats Harry accomplished with minimal help from friends. He was surrounded by people who knew what they were doing. He was born into a series of events that made him important and, once completed, cast him aside as a nobody. He's just a dropout loser once he realized he peaked and couldn't ride other's coattails anymore
No matter what he wasn't sitting in a chair making one of dullest shitposts in the history of Sup Forums shitposts. Each shitpost following /lit/ NEETs and their pals from /r9k/ as they fight assorted kinographers has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the lack of film analysis the shitpost's only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of images and pasta to make fantasy unfantastical, to make witchcraft seem plebeian.
Perhaps the die was cast when Quentin vetoed the idea of shitposting on /lit/. Posting the pasta on Sup Forums, he made sure it would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for his (You)s. The shitpost might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly anti-intellectual in its refusal of critique and watching for the plot. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the shitposts are f-funny though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the main text is terrible and the troll jpg isn't much better. As I read, I noticed that every time he shitposts, Quentin writes that "Atlas Shrugged is a God-tier form of art."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that shitpost was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several hundred thousand times. I was incredulous. The shitposter's mind is so governed by spamming and repetition that he has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of the shitpost by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of: "If these kids are shitposting at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you shitpost you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
For all the criticism Rowling (rightfully) gets, she at least made her MC have depth and numerous flaws.
yo can we all agree that freeze frame ending is the most JUST thing in the series
shame because it's clearly the best film otherwise
he was tortured by umbridge and sucked it up and taught his classmates, took on voldemorts possession. Disarms Lucius and gets him arrested, btfo draco and fights off inferi, casted a perfectly OP patronus and isnt scared of voldemort and isnt a pussy after he returns. also he tries to crucio bellstrix. harry had his moments of being a badass
Yo we can all agree your kino card has been revoked. It's a parallel to the entire film with the dementors sucking out someones and harrys soul. Except in the end he is blurred by actually being happy for once in the film
By how many orders of magnitude was Voldy more powerful than an average wizard?
Supposing an average wizard had a power level of 100. Would he be an 800? 1200?
Assuming he wasn't hundreds of times more powerful why couldn't 20-30 wizards just overwhelm him at once?
anyone complaining that harry wasn't some kind of child prodigy with elite wandwaving skills has somehow completely missed the point of the entire series. which is impressive considering they aren't particularly deep in the first place
I didn't say he wasn't exceptionally ordinary but he was a true gryffindor and did have some skills and moments of being a badass
>Ron gets to bang Hermione
>Harry marries Ginny instead of Luna
>Albus Severus
>Longbottom is the DADA teacher
>mfw
Malfoy seems like he's the only one doing alright at the end.
It's either the freeze frame, or this image user
The freeze frame is perfectly fine user
see
and its for 3 seconds at the most it never bothered me once
Slughorn, Minerva, Kingsley couldn't take him down
>Malfoy gets to live with no apparent repercussion for his actions
shit ending
He literally dindu nuffin
Wizard pedophiles
maybe he means lucius?
what actually happens to lucius?
tfw Ron got fat from all the beers he has to chug in order to live with Hermione.
...
Okay fair point, but Lucius was effectively billionaire status, so he gets off scott free, little redpill thrown in there. Elites like him and Hillary are immune bc of their estates.
Did they fug?
take it back
Hermione stole some of his hairs
The entire family and all the Slytherin should have been gassed to be honest
well now you're just getting into how utterly retarded the house system is. 25% of your kids are somewhere between 'a bit of a cunt' to 'full-on genocidal maniac' by default, another 25% are destined to be useless dropout stoners. i know it's been said many times but this shit bothers me so much
Why didn't Dumbledore just spend, like, the whole prior decade in which Voldemort was temporarily vanquished to hunt down the horcruxes and destroy them?
Im american and even we had, different 'teams' or whatever in middle school that we were separated into. It always sucks.
Cedric somehow is the fucking goblets pic and hes hufflepuff though and some gryffindors like hermione and mcgonagall are just as smart as ravenclaws
why is he such a cuck and doesn't use crucio and avada kedarva, for example when he runs away from Lucius and the other death eaters in "order of the phoenix".
So what was to stop a student from learning the death spell and walking around campus flinging it at everyone?
>Cedric somehow is the fucking goblets pic and hes hufflepuff though and some gryffindors like hermione and mcgonagall are just as smart as ravenclaws
true but they're always painted as exceptions to the rule
isn't there a bit in thr 7th book where they lead all the slytherins down to the dungeons or some shit? like, is there no point where it crosses these fucktards' minds 'hmm, maybe we're partially responsible for this!'
>Albus Severus
>Son did I ever tell you about who you're named after? One of them was gay for hitler, and he forced me to live with insane rednecks who tortured me for years instead of coming up with a better plan. Also he never told me anything about his insane plans, almost killed himself by putting on a cursed ring despite being one of the most knowledgeable wizards alive, and also died on purpose as a part of an incredibly convoluted plan he never told me about and I succeeded in pulling off by complete accident. The man who killed him gave you your second name, he was your grandmother's insane stalker and helped get my parents killed, also he hated me because he hated my father and was a dick all the time. Also he was a quadruple, pentuple, so many -uple agent nobody knew who's side he was on other than he just wanted to fuck my mum really badly
>they were the bravest men I've ever known and good friends
Havent read the books in a while but in the film it happens but its set up for the deleted comic relief scene where filtch locks them in and they immediately get broken out
I think half of it was bantz. Send them to the dungeons! Thats where they live
You need to have the right state of mind to cast it. Think of it like force lightning: You need the hatred/willpower in yourself to use the ability.
Checked. If I remember correctly it's because Dumbledore had to first piece together tiny threads of information, so as to confirm his suspicions and also to gain more of an insight into Voldy's mind. Remember he had to get Harry to suck Slughorn off for the memory where He-Who-Is-An-Edgelord says "I'm gonna make some horcruxes".
Same as with every kind of light/dark metaphor in films. To commit dark magic you have to put yourself into that mind state and know how to channel that kind of energy. Harry was too wet a flannel to know how to do that properly. Even when he did try crucio someone it was like Bellatrix was getting her clit tickled more than anything else.
Getting help from others was a pretty big theme inthe series. Nothing wrong with that
Harry does try to use Crucio once, and it just doesn't really work correctly.
Dark magic requires a certain inner resolve to make work, I think. It's like when Fake Moody said the entire DADA class could cast avada kedavra simultaneously and he'd probably be fine. You have to truly understand and desire to inflict the torture/murder/mind-rape for the unforgivable curses to actually work, seems like.
Yea voldemort eggs him on telling him he has to mean it. He was cool for just trying it. It didnt not work it just didnt work as it was intended.
He should have actually physically beaten bellatrix he could have given her some good licks with his adrenaline going
OK yeah, so like a magical school shooter. My question still stands
Hogwarts is a British school.
Hogwarts was chill and home even for rejects and slytherin white bois.
Voldemort goes school shooter opening the chamber of secrets
Underrated post user.
Thats become Neville was the hero of the story not Harry
What's stopping (you) from smuggling a gun and shooting everyone?
They both were and ron and hermione
neville is not samwise. neville contributed one thing. a pretty major contribution yeah, but the main trio and dumbledore still did most of the work. it's not a lotr thing where one guy was completely carrying the protagonist every step of the way.
Voldemorts whole beef was basically "we shouldn't have to hide our shit and fuck pussies" I don't see a problem with it desu. It's just selfish and slows evolution if you're letting the muggles run things. Come out of that little magical closet and show the world who you are, if any non-magical cunt gives it large then break their face with the cruciatus curse. Sooner or later they die out, wizards are the only ones alive and everyone is happy.
It was the opposite of chill. Old nepotetic families and arbitrary rules created an atmosphere of conflict and would undoubtably lead to an inferiority complex.
I mean when herminone and harry are getting their taints rubbed in class for doing the schoolwork, their fellow classmates probably don't even have their name rembered by the teacher. Said student watching dumbledore pull his gay "Yes BUT" shit out of nowhere would have been enough for me to decide ye old wizard school needs to burned and started again.
These are recommendations, artifacts, jobs, etc that they get dibs on just because they are on a first name basis with the teach.
Actually now that I'm saying it I think I sympathize with draco a lot...
Just a reminder that Sean Astin is a massive cunt who tried to tell Ian McKellen how to act.
Yeah but it was a British school mate. We don't do the school shootings thing as much over here.
Slytherin pls
Hermione was ridiculed every day by Snape just for wanting to converse with him and answer his loaded questions. Plus its not supposed to be perfect. Life isnt
Getting shot back at by death spells
To continue. The "gang" literally get a time traveling watch, magic map of the building, hagrids secret meddlings, invis cloak, and more while other people have to craft their own fucking polyjuice
Slytherin won six years in a row prior.
Reminder draco lost his house fifty points for snitching like a bitch. And the 150 points gryffindor lost were complelled to be given back when the brave students broke the rules and did what was necessary to protect the school in Dumbledores absense. It was in this moment that draco snitched about lonely hagrids visitors that set in motion a future of Gryffindor House cups.Also Snape was an insufferable faggot taking points from Gryffindor every single day because Hermione wanted to answer his questions. Slytherin then in year five try to and succeed in rigging the entire House Cup System with new regulations enforced by themselves member of the Inquisitorial Squad.
tldr fuck slytherin
you literally just condoned genocide
i mean, maybe there is a point about how the wizards shouldn't have to live in hiding, maybe they tried to coexist in the past but it didn't work for whatever reason. it's never really explored that deeply. the point is that wiping muggles out is clearly not a particularly nice idea.
idk this is too close to race politics and i never know who i'm talking too online nowadays, about half of Sup Forums seems to think that all non-whites should be gassed so it's really difficult to invest any kind of effort into forming a sentence
Hermione was one of the main victims of what I said, not including racism.
The fact that the "gang" basically had a rival in a teacher is fucked up and grounds for termination.
Hogwarts was a mistake.
>Invis cloak was heirloom
>magic map was heirloom
>time travelling watch was shit and hermione had to give it back
>hagrid was a pedophile
you sound like an insecure half blood m8
Not to mention draco repeatable being assulted by hagrid, his bird, and harry and gang on school grounds.
Nah cos whites blacks etc. are all as shit as eachother. But holy shit if there were wizards I'd just be like damn i hope my son is one cos that shits awesome.
Okay but dont hate dumbledore slytherin had it fine until harry came along and started saving the day with his friends. Reminder Terry Gilliam was wanted by Rowling to direct, they are basically a wizard dystopia
such a lust for revenge
You know what? I'd let Voldemort fuck the shit out of me
Hence why I say it deserves to be scorched and started again.
>Childhood is thinking Dumbledore is right
>Adulthood is realizing Voldemort was right
>be 12
>read Harry Potter
>fall in love with the story, the atmosphere and the characters
>become completely immersed in these people's lives
>dream that one day you'll get a invitation to hogwarts
>final film/book comes along
>it's tense
>you've grown up with these characters, they're as much your friends as your real friends
>end of the book comes
>they've all become boring loser adults
>immersion and fantasy destroyed as you're taught that even the most magical people on earth will have it ripped away from them as they grow up
>leave the series feeling depressed and nihilistic about the future
Bravo Rowling
Pottery
>hermione comes into the tent to comfort harry before the first task
>harry comes into the tent to comfort hermione innawoods
Bravo, Kloves
>the more i move around the stronger magic
>harder you press the W, faster you go
nothing wrong here
Is quittich the stupidest fucking thing ever? Only one team per house? No protection from spectators casting spells and fucking with your broom? A position that awards 300 points and is a guarantee win specially made for the main character and his rival? The fuck kind of writing is that? And it's the only sport? No magical sparring or anything cool?
Probably one of the best actors in the series, and he plays this idiot. Why didn't they have him direct one of the films?
holly shit hes so small
Well they can duel properly like old gun duels if they want.
But apparently Rowlings ex was a sportswriter or something and she made it as nonsensical and traditional as possible on purpose
He should have played Snape. Alan Rickman was horribly dull and didn't fit the character at all.
Why would they let that squib lock them up?
Tim Roth was originally considered but Rickman was the first choice i think.
Lockhart was actually Hugh Grant but he dropped out last minute. Jude law was also considered. Issacs tried out for Lockhart and didnt get it and Columbus told him to try for Lucius and he didnt feel it until his family told him he should
DELET THIS!!!