Spoil the entire fucking move for yourself, why not?

Spoil the entire fucking move for yourself, why not?
pastebin.com/7qhWa1FV

Wait they blew up how many fucking planets before Alderaan?

I tried, but ultimately I though why I should give a shit at all

it sounds like just Scarif is blown up entirely, and Jedha just has a single city nuked

Why does that poster look like complete shit?

>edha just has a single city nuked

Wasn't aware that was an option with Death Star v1. Seemed like only v2 had the power dial.

5 more years of Baneposting!

Well, at least you got a 5.

It's funny cuz there's nothing to spoil. A bunch of characters we just met, don't care about, and will never see again steal the plans to the Death Star. We already know they are successful, so there is no tension as to whether they succeed or not. The end.

Yes. It's a "2016 no plot, many quips" movie explaining two lines from ANH.

>SO FUCKING MARY SUE THAT THEY SPRINT DIRECTLY INTO GUNFIRE 40 FEET AWAY
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH CANT WAKE UP! What fucking retards thought these posters looked good?

Same thing with Halo Reach except Halo Reach made you feel bad for the noble Spartans sacrificing their lives just to save a few thousand farmers.

>a message from her dad, who ordered Rook to deliver, who explains he willingly went back to the Empire so he can put a fatal flaw in the Death Star

this is so fucking stupid

So you're telling me the exhaust port wasn't a necessary design element protected by a heavily gunned trench that Luke was only able to get to because Obi Wan's force ghost guided him, but instead was an intentional sabotage by an imperial traitor?

fucking REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

given that its such a fatal design flaw it actually makes sense

...

no it doesn't make fucking sense
>for decades people have been talking about how it's kind of convenient for the Death Star to have such a fatal flaw
>yet it's heavily defended, and so small that computers missed their aim and the force was required
>it's a small plothole that's easy to dismiss, and doesn't even bother you unless you overthink it after the movie
now
>whoa like it's all connected haha this is so cool
it's fucking stupid. the reason in-movie is stupid. the fact that they made a reason for it at all is stupid. the fact that it's self aware of the fandoms response and opinions on it is REALLY fucking stupid

god I hate all this meaningless interconnected bullshit Disney is puking out

i was thinking about it last night, why do normies like it so much when shit is connected?

because they confuse connecting the dots with intellectual stimulation

but the Reach novel was much better than game story t b h

Scale is way off

There's no opening crawl in Rogue One so this is a lie. I'll take your triple doubles tho

This. I never thought I'd need an entire movie to explain this one line when I first saw Star Wars in 1977 when it first came out. I am old

>The elite team of rebels all get jobbed

J U S T

forgot pic

It makes normies feel super smart when they connect the dots and they can brag on social media they connected the dots before any actual dots were connected in whatever media they're talking about.

Where the fuck does it say there's a crawl?

This

so this movie is basically D-day in space with a group of 10 people?