/got/ general

Canon edition
Previous thread

first for fuck bran

not fit to breed

not fit to lead

Can someone please explain exactly what the fuck her problem is?

>canon edition

good thread to post cute breeras

Jonsa

this is the canon edition. made up ships are not allowed here

First for Quasimodo

what a fucking goblin, jesus.

maisiefags are the worst

It's not her.

I miss the tyrels

Modern day Isaac Hempstead Wright

just a bunch of shitty opportunists that people only like because they weren't as bad as the lannisters

has aids

back when last season was airing i told everyone that Yara was doomed to die as soon as they made her a dyke. Dykes always get killed off in these shows. now from the leaks it looks like i was right

this post always lifts my spirits

Garlan and Wilas were great people. Garlan was pretty much Arthur Dayne Jr. Too bad the show fucked them up and they don't even exist in the show.

>Implying she doesn't have one of Dany's dragons hidden up her cunt and isn't going to unleash it when she gets sentenced in the Red Keep so it kills off all the Lannisters

Before you say that isn't physically possible, remember that it is canon that her cunt literally became the world.

>Littlefinger and Varys aren't responsible for 90% of everything that's happened

Ok for LF, but Varys literally did nothing on the show.

no trying to sow discord, no killing Kevan and Pycelle, no Rugen..

What did Varys do to ruin westeros? Ok now that Dany comes in he'll take part of hte blame, but the shit that's happened so far, nothing is on Varys.

varys is a useless waste of screentime, kill him

>ywn never live in the 'asha's cunt' world/universe
:_;

Her problem is my dick still isn't inside of her.

>THICCCCCC

Season 1 did make an attempt at showing him creating chaos by pitting the Starks against the Lannisters, but after that he became Tyrion's friend and they made him less ambiguously evil and into a more humorous character.

Imagine how confusing next season is going to be for the inattentive viewers when both Gendry and Podrick show up at the same time

>pitting the Starks against the Lannisters
I feel like I'm completely retarded and have missed something obvious, but is it revealed who actually sent the hired goon to kill Bran? The books made it pretty clear that it wasn't any of the Lannisters, right?

The books heavily point toward Joffrey being the one who did it, the show never says.

don't think they pay enough attention to these scenes to be confusing.

like when Roose was Robb's mailman, they didn,t know who the fuck he was probably his page or some shit, but it wasn't confusing because they didn't care about any of it and were just wondering when the next MOTHER OF DRAGONS scene was.

Asking this again:

Why are the Tarlys allied with the Lannisters?

Weren't they allied with Targs and against the Lannisters?

it was supposedly joffrey because fathack is a fat hack

Who is the better cuck, Ned or Sam?

Jaime convinces them Cersei is the true and rightful Queen of Westeros
it doesn't make much sense

at least ned actually has his own kids as well so I'm gonna say sam

It's not too farfetched for Joffrey to have ordered it. The plan wasn't a very smart one in the first place, he easily could have come up with it.

>Ned, fetch me a block.

because dabid have suddenly realised that they made Dany's alliance way too OP and have to come up with some autistically contrived bullshit to take her down a peg

Tarlys are Tyrell bannermen
Tyrell's were loyal to the Targs, they fought against Robert.
Tyrell's made an alliance with Lannisters after Renly died.
Its not complicated keep up

>It's not too farfetched for Joffrey to have ordered it.

yes it is. joffrey had no reason whatsoever to even give a shit. the excuse that he overheard robert talking about bran being better off dead and wanted to "impress" him is flimsy as fuck at best and indefensibly retarded at worst.

why would joffrey give a shit though?

Inbred batshit crazy kid, yea, he wouldn't act out on his inner sickness and think this is a great idea and plus I can please me father.

To be fair, it was the show runners who dropped that entire plot point.

Robert got drunk one evening, ranting incoherently about how it was better to be dead than crippled and how Bran should have died than survived paralyzed. Joffrey, who in the books at least was DESPERATE for his daddy's approval, decided to give the order to have the assassin try and kill Bran in hopes of then telling him what he did in order to try and get his daddy to tell him how much he loved him.

He does become more unhinged as he becomes king, but at first he definitely had a desire to please Robert

Thanks, this is the kind of answer I'm looking for.

Why are they still loyal to them after Cersei murdered 3 Tyrells and Olena is looking for revenge.

Shouldn't the Tarlys back the Tyrells in this case instead of the Lannisters?

Tarlys and Lannisters are only allies through Tyrell, right?

>robert talking about bran being better off dead
wait, when did this happen?

I'm not sure I buy the Joffrey-kills-Bran shit.
Joffrey is a retard but not a complet idiot who doesn't understand anything.

Why would he give a valyrian dagger to a random assassin?

I mean picture this. Why would he go to the armory, take a dagger worth a fortune, then go hire some random assassin and give it to him? Do you need valyrian steel to kill a crippled boy in a coma?

Joffrey is surely cruel enough to do something like that, but his cruelty doesn't have stuff that makes no sense.

Sure he shoots peasants with a crossbow over the wall, because he's cruel. But he doesn't suspend himself in the air and shoot spoons with a crossbow. Because that'd make no sense. Well, that's like using that dagger.

NO ONE would use that dagger for an assassination. It makes no sense.

The only reason to use that dagger is to put the blame on someone.
That's why I'm much more enclined to believe one of the schemers (LF, Varys) over Joffrey.

You're missing the point, autist. Its not that I cant see it happening its that it was a fucking retarded way to offhandedly wrap up a plot point that was a huge deal, launched catelyns entire story arc and had massive indirect repercussions.

It's a secondhand account in one of the later books

I know this thanks, that doesnt make it any less stupid

>te
No retard, Joffrey is retarded, retards don't make sense, like yourself.

oh ok, probably havent read that far
thats a pretty dick thing for robert to say about his best friends son

He didn't know it was a Valyrian dagger, he just grabbed it from the armory that was traveling with them because Robert still fancies himself as a warrior

It was mance

He even told jon he went to winterfell with "a bag of silver"

You guys don't get how the show works.

Randyll Tarly is sexist and a bigot. This makes him a bad guy. He has to ally with Cersei and Euron who are also bad guys.

He can't follow the Tyrell because the Tyrell are with Dany, on the Good guys side.

I know this sounds like a bad meme, but that's exactly how the show is.

That's why Dany names Tyrion HotQ after spending like 3 minutes with him and learning he made a deal behind her back for 7 years of slavery; It doesn't matter! Nothing matter beside "are they good or bad?".

That's the same reason why Dany and Jon will ally after talking about 3 minutes as well.

>4/10 guy looks good next to Maisie Williams

astounding

It is messed up
Robert had grown pretty bitter by that point and he thought strength was everything, he probably thought Bran's life wouldn't have purpose again after that

The assassination attempt on bran is a huge factor that contributed to the start of the war of 5 kings and you think handwaiving it away randomly in the middle of a casual conversation with "oh yeah it was joffrey that did it, no good reason, just because" is a good way to wrap that up? go back to grrm's notablog blog if youre going to unconditionally suck his dick this hard

Is it also the same reason why Varys can cross through continents in about 3 minutes as well?

Wow Preston settle down

i know its just sort of weird because in king's landing ned actually gets pretty hopeful about robert and he seems to be an overly pretty good guy who just gets drunk a lot

Varys uses the underground merfolk tunnels to travel. You can literally go from continent to continent in seconds using them.

It's a valyrian steel dagger with a dragonbone hilt... I doubt he would think of it as a random dagger. Valyrian steel is quite uncommon. Even Catelyn figured it out and Joffrey plays with weapons all the time, dueling Robb in the yard and eviscerating cats and all that.

>Robert

>Good guy

Lol sweet summer child

He is however /ourguy/ for fucking a 12 year old

Calm down Mary, we're just shooting the shit over here, it happens. So no retard's brian farts that they act out on ever have big consequences is what you're saying?

At this point, I think the show world isn't as big as the book world. Even though the books include travel times that are probably faster than what they would be in real life - Westeros is supposedly as big as South America - the show takes it to another level. Things aren't as grand in scale in the show because it would look ridiculously unfeasible, and travel times would eat up screentime.

i dont remember the exact quote but somebody else pretty much says the same thing to bran's face at some point in AGOT, its just culture. something d&d fail at

Plot twist : Littlefinger found them while spying on varys, that's why he can teleport everywhere as well

It was obviously mance who sent the catspaw you autists

i mean he was a shit king and all, obviously, but he never seemed to be particularly evil or hateful (except against the targs, obviously)

wat? when? I don't recall anything like that.
Mya Stone mother? Think she was 15.

>So no retard's brian farts that they act out on ever have big consequences is what you're saying?

where the fuck did I say that? I'm saying as a narrative choice it was dumb and underwhelming as shit. what dont you get about that

Barra's mother

I think Ned was looking at Robert through rose-tinted glasses. Robert's not a good guy at all, he raped Cersei, abandoned his kids whenever he got bored, he slept with like 12 year old prostitutes, but Ned hadn't seen him for years and didn't know all of that. He just hoped he wasn't that man. You kind of see him figuring that out in the show - even though he hates Cersei, he clearly doesn't approve of Robert hitting her.

stop being mean to bran

Not every situation in a book or tv show is going to be drawn out to the tits for you, sometimes you have to be left wondering or assuming it was Jofferey all along. Do you get where I am going with this explanation of the probable facts?

Wait why would he do that? are you memeing?

>Raped his wife

No such thing.

He's actually initially very worried about Robert then after the tourney he feels a lot better after they reminisced about the good old days and stuff, but yeah, most of what you said is still true.

No they said he was a coward for not killing himself

Cersei probably said, here, I'll make you Lord of all the reach and hand you highgarden, if you help me ofc ;-)

To start the fire.

Oh, that must have slipped my mind. I haven't read the books in a while because I said I would read them before the Winds of Winter release. That was two years ago now.

Gee, the offer is too good.

It's always good to trust a Lannister!

Oh wait.

No

Mance tells jon he brought silver to winterfell

Mance has been deep in the game the whole time.

He also sent the pink letter

tfw to inteligint to not to trust a lannister

I've barely read any of the Jon chapters with Mance in them, but the motivation (if he did do it), seems obvious as fuck, right? He clearly would want the north to go to war in the south , making the north severely weakened and drained of manpower so he could invade easier. Of course I have no idea how Mance would know that the Starks would assume the Lannisters were involved in the attempted murder.

who else would they blame?

Mance is in a really strong position at the end of adwd, you should read the mance jon chapters at least

' alright, ma ' am. It looks like you ve got some cracks in your foundation and pillars. See how the window frame is cracking? When i was in the basement, i saw extensive termite and mold damage. It looks like the undead man and wife you have down there have been defecating in corners and attracting pests and mold. Also, was this property ever used as a methlab? All the surfaces are covered in pitch and green residue. Have you checked the registry down at the sept? Oh right..... see,i'm concerned about the residue and there's extensive discarded tubing and flasks in the space between basement and first floor joists, something we in the biz call the black cells. As the saying goes, 'its not who you put in the black cells, but what' meaning a castle like this can take a certain amount of organic material in the walls but when you start alcheming and casting blood magic, you're going to get more refuse and bad joojoo than what these older systems can handle.

We commonly recommend a decantaminate solution of four parts newt to one part tansy but in a-

Whats that? Discover card? Um..... I didnt know they were still in business. We typically pre approve credit purchases because work starts.

No, i didnt see a little twisted imp smiling in the dark with a cross bow but i did see a severely neglected , incontinent bride of the dead moaning in horror. Something like that is only going to attract more pests and frankly, its not something a union would handle because of the waste issues. You are going to need a waste disposal company for that

My best recommendation is to get on the horn, call my guy paulie , get the biohazards flushed out and we can start rehabbing whats left of your foundation before winter'

isnt he dead in the books though, so this was all pointless

Mance isn't dead in the books, Melisandre glamoured Rattleshirt into a fake Mance that was burned. Mance is in Winterfell as Abel the Bard.

meh im anti-preston in that i dont have faith in grrm that he sets up and hints at twists of this depth that far in advance. everything is simple as fuck except for the obvious disney shit like r+l=j.

Tyrells army is at least twice the size of the Lannisters. It's a good move for both of them 2bh.
Cersei calms the Reach and Tarly rises to power as the richest guy in the continent.

>Of course I have no idea how Mance would know that the Starks would assume the Lannisters were involved in the attempted murder.

I think the "mance sent the catspaw" theory is very unlikely, but that part would be easy to figure out anyway.

If you have a dog and some day you invite a bunch of friends along with someone you don't like from I don't know, Finland or wtv and the next day you find your dog poisoned, who will be your prime suspect?

bran was first thrown from a tower and then a murder attempt... They have to know it's important. A random sellsword/camp follower wouldn't have an important reason to go lengths to kill Bran.

It has to be the Lannister, or the king. Eddard even think about the king, but then think "no, not robert, it's impossible". Which he doesn't think of the Lannister because he odesn't like/trust them. And Mance has to know that, he surely know about the sack of Kingslanding and Jaime and all that.

You could say the same if Tyrells sided with Dany's claim though.

> i dont have faith in grrm that he sets up and hints at twists of this depth that far in advance.

does this count?

>“Open the door, Hodor,” Bran said.
>The huge stableboy put both hands flat on the door, pushed, and grunted. “Hodor?” He slammed a fist against the wood, and it did not so much as jump. “Hodor.”
>“Use your back,” urged Bran. “And your legs.”
>Turning, Hodor put his back to the wood and shoved. Again. Again. “Hodor!” He put one foot on a higher step so he was bent under the slant of the door and tried to rise. This time the wood groaned and creaked. “Hodor!” The other foot came up a step, and Hodor spread his legs apart, braced, and straightened. His face turned red, and Bran could see cords in his neck bulging as he strained against the weight above him. “Hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor HODOR!”

this is from ACOK

No, it was almost definitely mance who sent the catspaw

You guys just can't see it

You did realize jeyne westering is Maggy the frogs granddaughter right?


Right?

But what motivation could mance have imagined that the Lannisters would have to kill bran. its not as if he knew about jaime and cersei, or that bran was comatose and nobody knew the circumstances surrounding his accident; mance's whole plan would have just hinged on him getting very very lucky for the starks having a reason to assume the lannisters would want bran dead

He was in winterfell, he saw the tension between the lannisters and the Starks

Why wouldn't he take advantage of it?

Mance is the only choice if you really think about it

>tfw no fat pink mast

They did, though. Olenna will get rekt by Jaime.

im fuzzy on the books because i only read once and dont care enough to read again so refresh my memory, when was he in winterfell and why would he hire a catspaw to go after bran instead of robb who was the first heir

When mance meets jon for the first time mance recognizes jon

Mance proceeds to tell jon about how - namely that he joined Roberts party and came into winterfell - he then ties it into the bael the bard story Ygritte told jon a book before

Later, when he sneaks back into winterfell, it's under the Alias Abel
Which is an anagram for bael

And don't think petyr calls himself BAELish on accident

But I'm sorry, you "don't have faith in grrm to set up hints and twists"

Maybe you should 'read the books again" wikifag

....what