/brit/

Sophie edition

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youtube.com/watch?v=3xLuN0beLp0
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>''Lisicki mused''

first for /brit/

thankfully not

notting hill

well done

watching GoT last night was the first time I've found Sophie qt tbqh

new york

>he had the gumption to explain the gay text with the faggy typeface
we truly are in the depths of summer.

anime

big if real

Just realised I never played Portal 2

maximising jawgains by chewing 12 gums at once

>put... Janny is refreshingly laid back for a man with such responsibility

the lisicki paradox
both having girls warm you for your good looks and impressive height, and also being upset that girls won't swarm you for your good looks and impressive height simultaneously

>faggy
we truly are in the depths of fuck off yank

Shagged her for a good two hours

>''I prefer a Maisie edition...''

imagine being a 20 year old kid who has already made millions and has the rest of your life set just because you were chosen in auditions for a TV show when you were 12 years old

...

don't get the runts who claim they "enjoy" lifting or they like the "pain". after 4 years lifting i can tell you it is not enjoyable at all. maybe my mistake is being a natty.

yankee go home

Well done on alienating Catholics guys. You all have no fucking idea do you?

"summer" is such an idiotic brainlet meme

underage kiddies have been posting nonstop on the 'net with their laptops and now smartphones for well over a decade regardless of school time

I bought it over the Steam Summer Sale. Still haven't installed it. Got shitloads of games to get through. Long ones as well, like Civ and XCOM.

>have the rest of your life set just because you have loads of money

Just povvo things

t. clinically depressed Tarquin

why does sophie scare catholics

you're such a pessimistic depressive and you seem like you're surrounded by pessimistic depressives

most people enjoy work. gives them something to do. thinkers like you or me are like 5% of the population

sure is summer in here

oh go choke on your saint candles padraig

This

Hello Aisha

Massive fart ready to be unleashed right now. Might rush to the bog just in case.

stop giving her attention

>SIXTUS, sitting on fire escape
>AENEAS enters, SIXTUS is unaware of him

SIXTUS: A sorrowful night.
>SIXTUS lights a cigarette
SIXTUS: Tis a thing poorly done, a man alone.
All around me I can hear this fair city's strong heartbeat.
The rush of cars o'er the motorways
And all beneath me the scatterer streetlights,
glitter like the amber sparks of flame.
Tis a cold night, but not a bitter one.
The night envelops me as it twere a coat
And muffled twixt its velvet hug
I sit and see the world go by.

AENEAS: My lord.

SIXTUS: Ah, Aeneas. My man most fair. Pray, tell, do you bring a lighter or a smoke?

AENEAS: I do not, my liege.
I bring news from Wimbledon.

SIXTUS: Well, out with it man!

AENEAS: The mens' Doubles have been suspended.
Two participants donned some wrongly-coloured undergarments and have been sent to replace them forthwith.

SIXTUS: Tis an amusing tale.
But not the tender tidings I did expect.
How plays Murray?

AENEAS: Poorly, my Lord. He is lost.

SIXTUS: Lost! Lost!
Oh you brute, you Scot, you rank disappointment!

>Curtain lowers

rorkes killed her

finished story + 2 person coop story
good game

My thoughts on the new Jane Austen £10
>Yaaaas queen slay

hate commuting lads

i do enjoy my work, i don't understand how anyone can enjoy picking things up and putting them down again after several years of doing it, at best it's "just another day in the gym"

fuck off weeb

...

christ those women are about 6'2

HARLYS: A kingdom.
What good is a kingdom, if I know it well?
A chore, a burdensome weight.
Too easy and yet o'erdemanding of my time.
Were that I was born in the wild times
A time of struggles, of danger
The study of command is so well fixéd
That not a single decision remains for thee to make
I need simply consult my book, and find the plainest course set out in clear for me to take.
Cassius!
>CASSIUS enters
CASSIUS: Yes, sir?

HARLYS: Make ready the horses. We ride for Rome at dawn.

CASSIUS: Perchance I may be so impertinent - wherefore?

HARLYS: Make ready the horses I say!
What good doth a servant provide if he cannot still his tongue?
I must away from this curséd place.
These welltrod halls, those oft-seen lines
All sicken me to such a deep extent
Each curve is like a scar upon my soul
From who's shadow I may never escape.

I know this place too well, Cassius.
It tires me. And I am so very tired.
Do you understand?

CASSIUS: Yes, sir. I think I do.

HARLYS: You are forgiven. Now proceed.

>both exit stage left

done with this shit gimmick desu lads

don't care about slavs

Korean gf started saying yassss. Gonna bin her

...

going to make some cornmeal pancakes, anyone have a good recipe??

not a great shop mate

Humans are biologically programmed to enjoy working out because it releases endorphins in the brain. You're just malfunctional I guess.

Can someone vicarious themselves saying yaaass
I don't know wtf it is

actually my names marina

cringe

>most people enjoy work. gives them something to do. thinkers like you or me are like 5% of the population

mum is trying to make me go to an employment advice thing at uni
fucking feels so awkward
why can't someone just give me a job

if it makes you feel any better you could start me a hedge fund

does anyone want to see something funny

my bitch she from the tropics

>XCOM

Get very upset when a member of my A-Team dies. Gerard de Sangliere, he was a good man and a exceptional soldier with 50 successfully missions to his name and innumerable confirmed kills.

i,m jewish

standard.co.uk/news/london/waterloo-costa-coffee-barista-refuses-to-sell-customer-sandwich-because-he-was-buying-it-for-a-a3590646.html

imagine having so much money you can buy a meal from Costa for a homeless person

ive never even been into Costa

Not going to lie, the Shakespeare gimmick is by far my least successful yet.

Each post requires a lot of effort, takes about 10 minutes to write, and in the last week I have gotten exactly ONE (1) You in return for probably over an hour's worth of labour

I think /brit/'s sense of humour just isn't ready for it tbqh.

>hearing my mates moan about their 50 minute daily commute and their £900 a month shoebox

well at least you're on £70k a yea...
oh, who's that?
oh hello it's inland revenue!

but of course my poorthern lifestyle in a poorthern 5 bed house with a miserable 5 minute commute is less desirable

do NOT understand people who actually choose to go to london for work for less than £250k

Did so. On the bog holding in a poo.

Will push it out as I hit post, so you all know the exact time I did a poo.

enjoy working out once i get going but fucking hate starting

working out, increasing the load on muscles and getting exhausted PHYSICALLY feels good to me

don't know what you're on about

Any more memes that fit this template?

>playing video games

you take your bitch to h&m i take my bitch to agnès b

giving my cock for you to suck isn't enough
I want you to hear you ask for it
*unzips*
go on, tell me you want it

What's the Shakespeare gimmick? Willing to get on board if only to have something to show for my wasted year at university reading English

Heard some stupid bitch screaming this at the climbing wall the other month and assumed it to be a Tumblr meme or something, looking at her type. Am I right?

splendid post

>it isn't a million indians, a million bangladeshis and 800k pakis that are the problem
>it's all those young polish women
backward i say

guarantee neither of you have lifted for more than 6 months

...

shakespeare was a fake who stole works from italian playwrights

juwish women don't mind throwing their weight around
>no pun intended

fuck off yank

youtube.com/watch?v=3xLuN0beLp0

I started that meme by doing an impression of Limmy's guy from his sketch show, John Paul, the psycho bully, in text form.

I'd link to a YouTube video but I'm on the bog doing a poo. In a bit.

whatever makes you feel better about not functioning like a normal human, user

Typical new worlder. All the pseudo intellectual anti-shakespearian bollocks comes from colonials

...

Just writing little nonsequiter scenes in mostly iambic pentameter and in Shakespearean style
Although I never studied English so mine's pretty rough aha

Example post I made last week when I couldn't sleep (ZERO Yous):

HIERON: what is this sleep that now evades me so?
how doth it differ from a day's visage?
the feverish afflictions that do mete
to both sides of fair gold Apollo's coin
our wretched dues of torture and of pain.
and wherefore doth we endure this wicked curse?
the creation of a paltry human's meme.

WULFRIC: A meme? nay, tis a sickness!

HIERON: Good squire, do not blaspheme yourself so! Stay your tongue!

HIERON: Why, it seems a meek pathetic thought
that steals across my mind in such a cloak
as to posess and o'erwrite all odd concerns
in favour of this one pernicious bent
To meme! A pox on memes!
Why these self-reflective screams of existencial dread!
To what possible good end can come of it?
Damn them go hell! And damn you all to hell too!
Now away! To fair basement!
Leave me.

>WULFRIC exit stage right

stop! this is the willy police performing mandatory willy checks.

please report to your local circumcision clinic or you will be taken into custody

disgusting
should have known it was an american creation

americans piss off

lifting and cardio are fucking boring. nobody actually enjoys it. on some visceral level something is appealing but ultimately it's a chore compared to just about anything else.

sick of acne of my face

I worked on emails at work again

Still dispute this being a high class call centre and that I have a good non-paki job?

the rabbi already took mine, kind sir
please spare the billy club!

>cornmeal
go ask cum, how would we know?

American user DESTROYS Exercise With Grace and Logic

disgusting pervert tranny paki fuck off

...

Genuinely felt overjoyed when I read that story

Every detail was perfect

love how trigger is making a face here

Aerobic exercise left OBLITERATED by American poster

being alive is a chore