So why the fuck didn't Elrond push Isildur into mount doom when he said he was going to keep the ring...

So why the fuck didn't Elrond push Isildur into mount doom when he said he was going to keep the ring? They were literally right there.

I heard this didnt happen in the book, and if so, wtf hackson? why put that massive plothole in?

Why didn't Miles Antwiler just kill Angry Joe and The Blockbuster Buster when he first met them? These questions and more will be answered today on Eggkara, LOTR Marathon.

these are the worst flicks you could ever watch

id rather watch star wars. only fellowship is any good and its still fucking long

Why couldn't the hobbit be more kino that lotr?

Elrond didn't want to be a bully.

Because it wasn't just 2 movies. Hackson ran out of time and tricked the studio into letting him make a third movie that way he could finish.

why didnt they take the eagles to mordor?

Its not translated well in the movies, but Isildur is like, 8 feet tall in the books. Hes a huge, powerful man. Elrond couldnt overpower him like youre imagining he could. Hed get stomped.

>I heard this didnt happen in the book
It didn't, Isildur claimed the ring as Weregild for his father and that was that. They didn't go up to the Cracks of Doom at all.
As for explaining it in the film, the alliance between elves and men was paramount. Pushing the King into a volcano would lead to war between elves and men. Also, nobody can willingly destroy the ring.

the elves were meant to be tall as hell too

Isildur put the Ring on and disappeared, so Elrond couldnt see him.

open your fucking eyes, retard.

why didnt sauron just build a wall on the entrance?

because nobody is strong-willed enough to throw the ring into the fire
It only fell in because of, effectively, divine intervention

Because Isiildur was an über-human and Elrond is a pussy bitch.

Why not just launch the ring into space?

cool did not know that thanks

they didnt have rockets

More importantly, why didn't CIA check under the hood?

Is smeagal a gandalf type creature?

Elronds magic Ring was controlled by the One Ring, so when Isildur became the new Lord of the Rings he effectively made Elrond his bitch.

...

no. When he slipped over the edge, it was because of Eru (basically God) intervening

Because Elves are pussy faggots

could have used one of gandalfs fireworks

kek this is one of my favorites

Oh that explains those floating eyes in the scene. Thanks user for clearing that up. Otherwise it sounds like horseshit.

Star wars > lotr

Im leaving so dont even bother replying

Sure, murder in his heart will make resisting the ring all that much easier.

Because Sauron was defeated at that moment so it really wasn't worth it.

Shouldn't he be saying "y-yes" instead of "no"?

he wont need to resist the ring if its destroyed

You're not reading.

Having the thought will make the ring's job easier, having the murderous thought allows for the following corruption: I could kill him and SAY the ring fell with him, keep it so it's safe.

He's too pussy to say yes.

this.

moviefags don't seem to understand the full power of the ring. guess its hard to convey on screen.

>pushes Isildur
>somehow the ring flies out of his hand and lands right in front of Elrond as Isildur falls into magma

I think the decision to describe its effect as invisibility didn't help
It's not actually invisibility, it pulls you into the wraith world

wouldve gotten shot by the eye

the elves had longships that could go into space

He did, it's called the Black Gate.

i love how colorful the pictures look from the production sets. why the fuck did they color correct the films. they all have some blue or yellowish tint in every scene. pic related was how rivendell was supposed to look. in the film it's orange as fuck.

because

>muh blue/orange
>muh gritty grimdark realism

Villian's name is Sauron. Villian's sidekick is named Sauron-man. Wtf?

BRAVO HACKSON!

iirc the Noldor were the tallest elves, and they were circa 6-7 feet. But Elrond was a scrawny, sissy half-elf, he wouldn't have stood a chance against a bigass numenorean holding the One Ring

Because kinslaying never ends well for Elves

Is meat back on the menu yet?

>"Fly, you fools!"

really activates your almonds

It actually does shit like that. like when it let Isildur get killed by some orcs as a funny prank

How do orcs know what a menu even is?

This

Him and Isildur are kin. The elves already cursed themselves once by kinslaying, wasn't about to do it again.

Besides, if he walked out of there by himself with an army of Men waiting for him on the outside.. might be problems.

Mordor has top-tier restaurants.

Isildur was the King of Men. Couldn't just kill him, even if Elrond was capable of overpowering him.

in the book Sam and Frodo sneak around Mordor for more than several days. They come across makeshift structures/gatherings that would be described as Orc Taverns.

>floating eyes

What?

You cannot just kill outright another race's king.

Furthermore, do you think that the Ring would have not boosted to infinity Isildur to save himself? Or just tempt a fatigued Elrond?

Just imagine Elrond corrupted.

What do the dwarves eat by living inside a mountain?

don't know if they were the tallest, but they sure were the biggest cunts

livestock + they trade for what they need

Mountain animals I guess. Like different kinds of rodents wandering about in the dungeons and whatnot. Rats, mice, moles etc.

well you do see the wraith with their "body", the world is creepy as hell and once you see sauron almost in the face.

Furthermore the movie removed bombadil and his lolimmunity and made people like Faramir almost fall for it. The movies are full of stuff that could have been better, but "the ring is not dangerous" is not one of those.

an actual serious answer to this meme is that the Eagles were lazy fuckwits. Could not be bothered to do something unless they owe a favor or eventually come to realize they need to do something that benefits them.

Here is an accurate paraphrase of what Gwaihir tells Gandalf after he rescues him.. twice.

Rescue from Isengard
>Asshole
>I'm not a taxi you shit
>I'm dropping you off in Rohan, get yourself a fucking horse

Rescue from Misty Mountains
>Gettin real tired of your shit man
>I'm only here because I owe that elf bitch a favor
>Hey.. you feel much lighter than last time, what gives?
>How about I just drop you and your ass can float down?
>HAHA.. JUST KIDDING... dick.

According to Dwarf Fortress, anything that moves

>spotted the Teler

Why not just send frodo to the middle of some forest and bury the ring deep there and no one talks about this anymore?

They aren't lazy, they just don't want no trubble, they're like Jacky Chan with feathers

>Dwarves decide to mine under that forest
>Some asshole finds it
>Same shit that happened with Smeagol happens again
I think you're forgetting the ring has an ability to twist fate to a degree, it has a will to be found

What a shitty plan. The ring always makes itself found.

Why not throw it in another volcano?

"but only mordor volcano can destroy!!!"

Yes, but no one will ever reach the ring inside tons of lava and shit

I don't recall there being any other active volcanoes though

I don't know if this is the best term for it, but the Ring almost has its own special kind of Plot Armor


You can throw it in the deepest ocean, but the moment you do that some asshole is born far away and it becomes his destiny to swim to the deepest depths for no reason, and he'll find the ring.

via the will of the Ring, that Volcano would erupt at some point.

The Ring would be expelled, and eventually found via whatever shenanigans happens next.

Not to mention, in the Hobbit when they save Gandalf and co. from burning pines, the only reason they even bothered to show up is they figured orcs must have set fire to the woods and went to see what's up. AND THEN they only saved them because Gandalf saved the life of their king.

It's more like through a set of retarded and improbable coincidences the ocean currents happen to take the ring to exactly the spot some prick will find it

>owning the later edited blue-rays

Why would anyone write characters to be lazy fuckwits? Was tolkien an edgelord? Just admit the eagles are a MASSIVE plothole

Why Sauron didn't create another Ring?

You may disagree they were lazy

but they were certainly dicks, and hardly cared about getting involved.

they were more a plothole in the movies

The Eagles are the same shit as Gandalf without the whole "God told me to give a shit" part, and Gandalf never told them they had the ring and were going to destroy it because Maiar and ring is bad news potentially. It's not fucking complex

If he did he'd probably die.

>Make 2 things that if they get destroyed you die
I'm seeing a few issues with this idea

Isildur is one of the most bad-ass dudes ever. Elrond, strong as he is, wouldn't stand a chance against him in normal combat, let alone Isildur with the One Ring in his possession.

Movie Aragorn
>I'm just some Ranger..
>The King? oh, Iduno..
>I'm not sure I want to be King
>I'll try being the King.. I guess...
>I'm the King, yay!

Book Aragorn
>I'm the King, get the fuck out of my way
>I'm the King, get the fuck out of my way
>I'm the King, get the fuck out of my way
>Didn't you hear me last time? Fucking asshole! MOVE!
>I'M THE FUCKING KING!

And plump helmets

How did Smeagol escape Mordor? That doesn't sound easy

I'm still mad they cucked the rangers of the north, the last remnants of the guys that fought Angmar for years, out of their moment for some CGI skellies, fucking Hackson
They let him go, Sauron hoped he'd find the ring so it was easy to obtain

That isn't accurate at all. Aragorn expresses self doubt and hesitancy in the books, although not as obviously as in the movies. This is because in the books Elrond would never allow any mortal lesser than the fucking king of Gondor and Arnor to marry his daughter. This made Aragorn obviously fairly resolute in his decision to accept being the rightful king of Gondor, as he wanted to marry Arwen. In the movies this plot point is removed, so if you still gave him that same level of "I am the rightful king" it would make him look egotistical as opposed to a man who wanted to marry the love of his life.

Love was a rather important theme to Tolkien's legendarium.

wtf I am not one

Why did Jackson make Faramir a dickbag in the movies?

How was he a dickbag?

Most of his actions seemed reasonable and even handed.

Why did he make Denethor full retard? Sure he's a fatalistic cunt in the books but he isn't the fuckwit Hackson made him

because normies need shit spelled out as obvious as possible

Sure, how's your ship?

They wait until the battle is almost over before getting involved at the last possible moment, flying in and declaring victory
[spoilers]like 'Murica during both world wars[/spoiler]

BIG GUY FROM DUBLAND!

Where were they taking the hobbits, again?

>'Those bats were bred for one purpose.'
>'For what?'
>zoom in on Legolas's face
>'FOR YOU.'

Isengardgardgardgard

DURIN'S BANE?

...

Uhh, you get to bring friends, Frodo

Until the ring is destroyed it will keep trying to be found and get into Sauron's hands

Smeagol found it because it wanted to be found, he lost it because it knew it would never reach Sauron while Smeagol has it, so it waited for its chance - Bilbo.

The ring will always try to reach Sauron, that's why it had to be destroyed