Draco Malfoy

>Draco Malfoy
ahahaha are you kidding me ahahaha why not just name him "Villain McBadguy" hahahaha wtf

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>he might as well be, because dullest franchise in history etc etc..

would Draconic Malicious be better?

in b4 copypasta

>draco malfoy got dragged into a situation he cant deal with by his family and now he hates himself
>harry potter is a hero man who is the hero man
>rowling unironically didn't understand why people identified with draco

'Severe Snake'

Are you fucking kidding me?

>Draco wasn't a bitchy, aryan, goddess
Nice job JK Rowling

...

>all these shitposts
ahahaha are you kidding me ahahaha why hahahaha wtf

>Draco wasn't a bitchy power bottom trap
fix'd

Harry Potter? Hahaha, are you kidding me? Hahaha, why not just name it one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises? Because each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

back to /lgbt/, faggot

This to be honest.
Draco should've been a girl and roughly on the same power level as Potter.
In the end Potter should've married fem Draco.

Good fuck your weeaboo shit, honestly fucking gay

>wanting to see hot blonde schoolgirls is gay
Lol what?

t. Copio Pastus

He's right. It's so incredibly beta to the point where it's borderline gay.

kek I remember this thread, good times. also yah, femdraco milfoy would have been 10/10

ngghhh

Aww yissss it's the Clifford For President one

I want to curb stomp whoever created this copypasta

I opened this thread just to see this pasta.

I recognize this is a pasta and I'm replying. Reasons:

a) I demonstrate that I'm in on the joke and therefore one of you guys.
b) I'm jealous that I can't generate any reaction worthy content so I can pretend this is bad. I'm quite the bore you see.

Hahaha fair enough! Hahaha!

>its a he critiques childrens literature episode

hello autism

You might think Dullfag is actually here to talk about Potter, but that's not actually the case. This is actually a subtle Orwell shill. Note the rankings of 1984 (trash) and Brave New World (flawless clairvoyance).

God damn it, someone repost it.

>Mace Windu
>gets thrown out the window

Really, Lucas?

>jannies are so autistic they're actually removing the pasta

Are Mods actually deleting the pasta now?

WIZZZRRRDJRY

>no pasta 1 hour into the thread

Hes slipping

Fawk yeah tss

It was there. Hot pockets deleted it

fucking neckbeard retards harry potter loving autists

wtf

is copy pasta guy sleeping?

where is he

Probably is a big tumblr pleb snitch

She may as well have named him Villian McBadguy, it would just fall in line with this being the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>so close in being a good franchise

slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh… not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It’s not bad. A good first attempt. It’s plenty dank… I can tell it’s got some thought behind it… lots of quotable material… But memeing isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You’re skilled… that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - they’re out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it’s “tryhard,” or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don’t just mean the one you just lost :). It’s a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don’t get all mopey on me. You’ve got skill. You’ve got talent. You just need to show your drive.

See you on the boards….

>Rust Coal
ahahaha are you kidding me ahahaha why not just name him "Cold Steel" hahahaha wtf

How retarded are you, its like you want to be nominated for the stupid as fuck award. What the fuck were you fucking talking about you obnoxious buffoon? Did you honestly even think about what you were typing before you pressed your pathetic fucking finger on your dirty enter key. How can such a total moron even make it through life long enough to type this out. It must have taken such a retard at least 2 years to find all the keys on your computer you fucking dickhead. You are a perfect example of why mothers should smother their retarded children. I hope that someone comes into your house when you are sleeping, rapes you, and slowly kills you before your toxicly high levels of retardation spreads to anyone else. Are you still mad from when your brother didn't share a cookie with you when you were 2 you fucking asshole? Lol, that would be fitting you stupid ass whore, I bet your mom tried to abort you, it's a shame she didn't cause you turned out selfish and retarded. Maybe you should start using your brain, assuming that it isnt overrun with fucking retard brain juice. Better get google up and bing some clever comebacks bitch. Go get lost in the woods and lick monkey cunt, fucking dumbass. I hope your computer fucking catches fire cause I don't want anyone in the world to be subject to reading your horrible fucking ideas. Go to Africa where everyone is retarded and maybe you will finally fit in there. Oh wait, you won't cause you are also gay and love monkey dick and then get shot up by niggers. No one would attend your funeral cause of how much dick you sucked they all hate you stupid faggot maybe the world would have been better if your entire family tree was chopped down with a mohawk. Just give up on life now you colossal retard before I track you down and find you. Make no mistake, I have the technology to do it and you know I will make full use of all the weapons at my disposal. RIP in peace, faggot

>chopped down with a mohawk.
Lost it here, very good.

Rowling said she considered making Draco a girl, but having a girl be a villain would have been extremely misogynist, so she dropped the idea and made him a boy

>tfw no bitchy Aryan goddess witch gf
;_;

How can she be such a fucking hack in every aspect?

Citation needed

bullshit

Sauce or it's bullshit

Because she's a creator of antiart

>no Clifford For President in High-Tier

shit list m8

I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you

>Avatar
>Masterpiece

Why not add the Star Wars prequels in there while you are at it.

This, right here? This is autism. Not Sup Forums "lel autistic XDD" autism, no. This is legitimate, medical-grade autism. This is what mothers everywhere fear when they find out they're pregnant. This is what gets put up for adoption because parents "aren't ready for this type of responsibility". This is what Midwest American idiots think comes as a result of vaccination. This is what kills families. This is what kids think of when they hear "slow". This is fucking autism. You are so fucking retarded.

I can't believe you bring this shit in here again and again and again. You listen here you underaged, shit-dicked little cum-guzzler: THIS. ISN'T. FUNNY. It's not cute or charming or something that gives people a smile, it's a waste of time, a waste of space, and an eyesore. You make me worry, really really worry about the state of my generation, where the hell is our world gonna go if it's run by shit-stained cuntminds like you that have NO originality and NO creative drive AT ALL? You contribute nothing at all to this board, nothing at all to your fellow peers. You are worse than a dumbass, my asinine little friend, you are a black hole of faggotry and stupidity. You suck in the people around you and corrupt them with your cancerous posts. Your very existence is robbing this world of all things good. Leave this place, sell your computer, and give the money to someone with brains who can wisely use it.

I am legitimately mad right now.

Finally the pastas come floating in.

>Bane
So we're putting easter-eggs in meme images now?

Yeah that was the point, he was groomed to be the young villain but he could never bring himself to commit to evil, and in the end he was saved and given a second chance.

I though for a second I was in a Star Wars thread I had opened, and you were talking about Kylo Ren.

Makes you think.

This is the true autism.

>now

that image is probably older than you

go back

By losing his hair, having his wife die young, and watching his moron of a son become gay for Harry Potters kid. Draco had a hard life.

Going to rewatch the entire series right now. I'll also read the books again afterwards.

The only person you're hurting is yourself

youtube.com/watch?v=RFHlJ2voJHY

>rewatching and rereading(he actually reads in 2016 lmao) things you've already seen when screener season has started
Sad!

Real niggas fucked with slytherine even though they were all little trumps

Came here for this. Wasn't disappointed.

Our memery is so layered normies can't even join.

>random phone book names are good

who actually thinks this. Is it r*ddit?

The name isn't laughed at for it's uniqueness, but for it's ham-fisted etymology.

Draco - from the word 'draconian'
Malfoy - from the word 'malfeasance'

this is bad why

star wars and harry potter are the most successful franchises ever and they do that everywhere

>avatar
are we serious right now?

>ayn rand shit
>"god tier"
actually fuck off

>brave new world low tier
>1984 high tier
die

>expecting subtlety from a writer that named her main antagonist "voldemort"
it's a kids book user

what is it i've never seen

I've got an idea. This is how we fix Cursed Child:

>Draco is revealed to have been a girl all along (parents wanted a son? Went through a trans phase?)
>Harry goes through a midlife crisis and divorces Ginny
>him and Draco are drawn together by their sons' friendship
>Harry marries milf Draco
>their sons become brothers
>happily ever after

Quentin is the best troll

Go back to to tumblr or Sup Forums

But he's right 90% of the time.

If you actually liked Cursed Child, you have no right telling people to go back to tumblr.

All of the bad guys in star wars are called "dark ___" and people don't have a problem with it.

Hell yes. Draco's gradually increasing reluctance to serve Voldemort would have been the perfect context for a romance with Harry. We could have had 10/10 wandkino and instead we got Ginny.

>still here
I said go back

>sheev palpatine
lmoa why not just call him "knife feeling" wtf

this guy gets it.

Imagine Draco confessing to Potter he did it because he was jealous out of every witch that got near him

>I wish I didn't loved you this much Potter!

can't tell if this is pasta or legit buttblast but spotted the dumb meme-hater anyway.
Side note, I never really understood, do americans actually misuse the words "autistic/autism" as much as this place would have you believe or is this just another dank meme?

>taking the bait that pretends to have taken the previous bait

autist

same

A bit of both. It's a pretty widespread misconception among uneducated people.

>taking the pretend bait that the first bait isn't bait
nice bait

he's made some good points but there's always something ridiculous that gives the game away

>Avatar

This may be bait, but I agree with it 100%

I love it when /lit/ memes leak over to Sup Forums. Sup Forums is a much more fun board.

>I can't believe you bring this shit in here again and again and again. You listen here you underaged, shit-dicked little cum-guzzler: THIS. ISN'T. FUNNY. I

This is not even pasta. YOU are the autist here

it is top quality bait

best part is kafka just being "the trial" and muh joyce, too high quality for this board though

Your problem is muh joyce, not muh pynchon and muh dfw too?

>GTA4
I WONDER WHO BETRAYED ME.
A GUY NAMED FLORIAN, OR A GUY NAMED FUCKING (((DARKO)))?

nah, those are what make it too obvious its a troll

its a fine line

For extra contrivances:
>Harry's oldest son also revealed to have been a girl all along
>falls in love with Draco's son
>gets pregnant in her last year of Hogwarts
Step-incest giving birth to a new dynasty of powerful wizards. It's a beautiful thing

Reminder that Harry JUSTed harder than any one else in the rest of the series

>Except Hermione who married an alcoholic redhead manlet