He will spend Christmas Day on Sup Forums

>he will spend Christmas Day on Sup Forums
Jingle All the Way thread

I will spend the holidays with my family but I will shitpost the entire time from my phone desu

>he will spend his time on a chinky anime board on Christmas Day

This. Wouldn't have it any other way.

It's ok to be a degenerate loser so long as you have a normal life to lean back on. Someday I will have a wife and child and secretly shitpost all through the night.

what time is it?

Does Jake watch it every year?

>tfw i have to go to parents for christmas
>tfw seeing immediate family for the first time in a year
>tfw too polite to phub my family (it's a word i just found - portmanteau of "phone" + "snub")
>tfw can't even do anything like surf the web on my samsung e1080
It's weird, I spend all year dreading it, force myself to go and actually enjoy it. I always plan to get out ASAP but stay all evening.

Got a buddy who usually goes to his grandparents every Christmas. They both died this year. Plan is to leave parent's early and take some booze and cigs round to his, get him to come round to my place for a film.

What Christmas film should I put on for my lonely depressed friend, Sup Forums? I figure this is the best place to ask.

>my fifth christmas completely alone

a Sup Forumsedditor made this thread

>get rumbled for being a loner in Christmas
>blame others
lmao

u have us doe

>They both died this year.
poor guy.
Id avoid the stuff about parents and children on christmas i.e. home alone, jingle all the way etc its quite difficult to find a Christmas film that doesn't revolve around family

He likes 80s retro so I was thinking a movie from that decade where the Christmas theme is almost an afterthought, and the relationship stuff is romantic boy+girl stuff rather than family-based, like Gremlins or Die Hard.

I think Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is set at Christmas and I don't think he's seen it.

I have to spend a week with my family.
>A week in that crappy spring mattress twin bed with horrible cheap sandpaper sheets and thin wrong-sized comforter, instead of my big cozy perfectly mixed memory foam queen sized bed with the fancy soft sheets and big fluffy comforter.
>A week showering in that tiny stall with the nozzle pointed wrong and low pressure and only 5 minutes of hot water, instead of my big tub shower with the easily adjustable nozzle with awesome pressure and practically endless hot water.
>A week of sitting in the living room staring at the same shit over and over on my phone to distract me from my family "watching tv/movies" but ignoring everything as they TALK TALK TALK TALK ALL THE FUCK OVER EVERY FUCKING LINE OF FUCKING DIALOGUE NON FUCKING STOP and checking the clock every 30 minutes until it's finally 11pm and I can politely leave to "go to bed" and get on my laptop to watch videos and random shit, instead of just sitting on my comfy couch with a nice cup of coffee or tea and casually watching things, or messing around online, or reading a book in blissful silence.

Oh well... soon they'll all be dead.. and I'll inherit a lot of money... and maybe I will miss them and forget all about how much they annoy me now.

You should try to engage your family in whatever they're talking about, or include them in what you're interested in. I'd be embarrassed if I spent half an hour in a room with anyone I know, especially family, and didn't have some kind of conversation.

Resolve not to check your phone unless it's for something relevant to what others are talking about. I agree it's irritating when people are talking over the TV but a lot of people just keep the telly on for background noise while they focus on social interaction. What you're doing with your phone will seem as ignorant of them, as they seem of the TV. Try to ignore the TV and keep your phone out of reach and give your attention to your the people in the room instead. It's more challenging to keep a conversation flowing, but can be much more rewarding if you can relax and enjoy it.

My parents always make an effort to include everyone in some kind of activity, like a fun new game of some kind (not video games). I'm sorry yours don't do that but nothing's stopping you from breaking out the Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit.

As for the home comforts, I lived without electricity for 8 months, in the freezing north of England, sleeping on a sofa bed with a jacket for a blanket and rats running around the place. That shit is character building, you'll be a better person for going without all of your luxuries for a week.

>I lived without electricity for 8 months, in the freezing north of England
what the hell happened there? squatting?

LISTEN UP Sup Forums

To answer your first question, yes, the rumors are true. We have received a small quantity of the action figure known as "Turbo Man".

I AM NOT GOING TO ASK YOU SHITPOSTERS TO BE QUIET AGAIN, DO YOU HEAR ME?!

Now here's how things are going to work. You will complete your captcha in an orderly fashion, so that a janitor can hand you your digits. These digits will then be checked in a standard orderly fashion to see who gets a doll.

If you're not one of the lucky few, we have plenty of Turbo Man's faithful pet tiger, Booster, in stock.

AND BY THE WAY! In accordance to the laws of supply and demand, the new digit requirements for each figure just DOUBLED!

will these do

Might as well have been. I was unemployed for a while (obviously) after the band I was in broke up, then my welfare was completely cut off. No money to pay the electricity meter, no electricity to shower or clean myself, and so, no self-esteem to communicate with anyone and sort my shit out. I dunno why the landlord never kicked me out, but at least I had running water and a roof over my head.

For food I'd walk the streets at night looking for discarded takeaways, steal milk from people's doorsteps, shoplift, whatever I needed to do. If I could muster the courage, I'd go busking with my acoustic guitar. Spent most of my time reading library books by candlelight or playing guitar to keep from going mad. The cold showers were hard, getting out and stepping on rat shit in bare feet was also hard.

Nowadays I'm grateful for everything I have and I'm much happier than I was before my life fell apart like that. Waking up to my own flat with electricity, gas, internet etc. is still a thrill, 10 years later. Getting into my big soft bed is pure joy. I have a couple of hang ups though, eg. a paranoid fear of losing everything. I compulsively stockpile food and other basic things I had to do without, like toilet paper, soap and shampoo, coffee. Still got a long way to go, but at least I'm don't have thoughts of suicide now.

I quote Jingle All the Way multiple times a month.

bad santa

>seeing my cousin that I drunkenly made out with a year ago

It must truly be suffering to be a normie, and be forced to think and behave like this constantly.

We got you pham. Old Sup Forums is still here.

The true suffering comes when one little brother is about to be a chartered accountant (with gf), another is a full time electrician's apprentice (with gf) and your little sister works in a law office and has her second kid on the way (with bf), and you feel like you have to explain why you're still the same lonely, alcoholic dropout hermit loser you were 20 years ago.

You can hide from reality for the rest of the year, but Christmas really forces you to face the extent of your failure, when you've finished the dinner and now we're going round the table each talking about what we accomplished this year and what we hope for next year... Fuck.

Fucking hell m8. Glad you pulled through

Jokes on you, I am having Christmas this year with my mum on the 23erd.

That's why I don't even show up at all, no sense in trying to tell them I've done nothing but work at the same dead end job for another year, and have once again shirked all responsibilities as much as humanly possible and do as little as possible.

Do you show up just to not be shunned by your family completely or what? Honestly it sounds like you'd be much better off not going at all. You shouldn't torture yourself like that unless you absolutely have to.

My mother would probably be upset if I didn't show, I'm her first born and I've never missed Christmas at hers yet. I don't think anyone else there would miss me but nobody wants mum to be sad on Christmas, so it's kind of an obligation. Her dinner is amazing and it's nice to see the folks too, even if it's a little embarrassing to be the worthless scumbag of the family.

Also, I give the best presents and spent over £100 this year. I'm not giving those away without seeing their faces when they open the gifts.

not every family is the same, it's not a great idea to compare.

for example, I have no siblings, and my mother is obsessed with me to an unhealthy degree. I do not make unnecessary eye-contact, I do not give her openings to question my every move and breath as she loves to do, I do not give her any more information than the barest possible minimum because she will take every detail and run with it and try to interfere in my life constantly from that moment on. I think she might have aspergers or something... something is definitely wrong with her. I have to go for a week because anything less and she would lose her mind and be practically bedridden crying for months and then never ever shut up about it.

also we've tried board games, they are fun for a little while but my mom get's bored quickly and then she starts asking questions.

and I went without my "luxuries" for the first 21 years of my life while living with that lunatic barging into my room and the bathroom without knocking. they are the things that make my life worth living at the moment and make my home feel like home.

its all just misery, but it's necessary and I will put up with it for another year with a painfully strained smile on my face.

Is she hot?
Maybe she want to suckle on your pee pee.

That's understandable then don't be so down on yourself at least you show up in spite of all your shithead yuppie normie siblings.

I have a barbecue for christmas, but I'll be drinking beer and shitposting here at the same time.

Nothing beats this

Okay, that is a different situation. Sorry your mum's weird, user. Hope you can get through the season with a minimum amount of stress.

Fucking Aussies.

Making me jealous and giving me a superiority complex at the same time.

She was homecoming queen, but she's gotten very lazy and fat and loves making excuses for being unhealthy now.. so no.. she is not.

She was obsessed with my junk for a long time though. She gave birth to me in this "teaching hospital" and all the retarded student doctors kept running into the room telling my crazy mother all these "syndromes" they thought I had, one of which would result in me being sterile with undescended testicles and a micro-penis. Which meant that I had countless trips to doctors as a kid and young teen to make sure I was "developing" correctly.
For the record my nuts are the size of chicken eggs and my dick is average length and fatter than a toilet paper roll tube... and one morning when I slowly woke up as a 16-17 year old with a full raging morning boner.. I had the fleeting impression that someone had just dropped my sheets back down over me and then ran out of the room.

cant fucking wait till christmas!

I have a mommy who loves me, so I just live here all year rent-free and get free din-dins on Christmas.

This is the fucking life, boys.

Will he spend Christmas with Mildred?

What did you get her for Crimbo?

Nothing.

>just me and pops this christmas

You best be fucking joking.

If not then get out there and get her a nice prezzie, something pretty that is relevant to her interests so she knows you care. Otherwise I'll come over there and treat her to such a good time, she'll forget all about her ungrateful spawn and I will be the one eating that Christmas dinner.

black christmas

he's from up north, it's pretty common

>I have a mommy who loves me, so I just live here all year rent-free and get free din-dins on Christmas.
same here. feels good to be a 30 yo neet

but so am I, and North England is barely freezing. Hasn't been for years. It might reach -1 in a morning but by 10am its at least above 5 degrees

Why haven't you guys made a 2016 Sup Forums Christmas card yet?

On an unrelated note, can you guys tell me what is it like to be tall and handsome?

forget these how about THESE

Which one? 1974 original or 2006 remake? I've seen neither.

I'm tempted by the 2006 one, my mate like horror and he likes cute young ladies. Trachtenberg and MEW? I'll watch it by myself first, to see if it's suitable. That seems like the best plan.

What really fucks with me is being here at New Years Eve at midnight

this

>North England is barely freezing
Maybe not technically freezing 24/7, but when you can see the condensation of your breath and you have to shower with unheated water, "freezing" is an accurate description.

can't go wrong with the original, it's the only one i've seen out of the two. reckon it will go down well since you mentioned he's into his 80's films

fair enough. Ive never lived like that but I dont plan to either. North of England is shit, its just rain summer or winter

I love NYE alone with the internet and some booze. I go on a bunch of different city skyline webcams from around the world and watch folks do the countdown in all different timezones. Every hour or couple of hours there's a new fireworks display and a bunch of foreigners cheering. Being in a club or party for the countdown just makes me feel more alone.

>I don't want a lot for Christmas.
>There is just one thing I need.
>I don't care about the presents.
>Underneath the Christmas tree.
>I just want (You) for my own.
>More than (You) could ever know.
>Make my wish come true.
>All I want for Christmas is (You).

>On an unrelated note, can you guys tell me what is it like to be tall and handsome?

I can't

>have no family
>roomie invites me to his family house for christmas
>know it's going to be 24/7 awkward and for some reason told him I'd go

just be you're self

Never alone when you've got a net hookup senpai.

>dubs and a (you)

you've truly got it all now friend

thank you ;-;

I'm gonna deck your halls, bub.

>tfw drinking and eating and watching kinos alone on christmas night

comfy

PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN

>tfw drinking and eating and watching kinos alone every night EXCEPT christmas night

ban christmas desu

IM NOT A PURVURT I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR TYURBO MAN DAHL

>highschool people calling me for some kind of meet-up

GIB ME DA TUHBOMAHN DOLL

give me three

check'em

gibe gibbe ugha!!

>tfw family are all degenerate alcoholic losers like yourself and from after work tonight until tuesday we will be spending the entire time getting drunk together

toppest of families

I usually drink loads wth my brothers over christmas but I'm having a week off booze and waiting till christmas day so I don't wake up hungover for once. Just going to play ps3/4 with my brother and drink on christmas+boxing day.

>tfw when watching man utd on boxing day and starting drinking again at 3.pm

Noice

>tfw it ends up in a violent domestic incident on Christmas day

> live with someone who is too depressed to celebrate christmas

EI AM TERBOH MAHN!

I'VE GOT TWO! I'VE GOT TWO!

did I win?

I'll have one, please

*follows a small child around the mall*

invite him to your house holy fucking shit dude how big of a dick are you/?

guy loses his christmas and you make no attempt to help him out other than get him drunk and give him cigs?

grow up man

It's not up to him to just invite his friend to his parents house on Christmas day. He's at least making the effort to go and meet with him for some drinks you wanker.

>not allowed to invite a friend over for christmas

>on christmas

it's like people don't even know what christmas is supposed to be about.

If anons parents seriously have a problem with bringing a friend who has no where else to go, then I would stay with the friend and say have a merry christmas to my family.

>he will spend Bayram alone on Sup Forums

>DON'T EAT MY WIFE'S COOKIES!~
also I will spend Xmas @ Sup Forums aswell, since I'm too depressed from not having a job or own place yet.

How else do you suggest I help him? I'm not inviting him to my parents, it's not my place to do that, there just isn't room and he would feel weird, being a socially awkward guy who's never met any of them. It would kind of rub it in his face that my family are all healthy and happy and his are all dead or estranged from him too.

Like I said, I'll leave my folks early and get him round to mine for drinks and film, if he's not going to his cousin's place. All I can do is try to take his mind off the situation, I can't bring his grandparents back or throw him the party they would've done.

I'm not great at consoling others, I know, so what else should I be doing?

I REALLY NEED THIS FOR MY SON

m8 ignore that other guy. You already explained the situation properly. Just go and have drinks with him and don't leave it too late I guess.

>How else do you suggest I help him? I'm not inviting him to my parents, it's not my place to do that, there just isn't room and he would feel weird, being a socially awkward guy who's never met any of them.

So instead, leave him alone all day to wallow misery.

>It would kind of rub it in his face that my family are all healthy and happy and his are all dead or estranged from him too.

Or he'd feel grateful to have a friend that cares for him enough to bring him to the family Christmas.

I have a friend in a similar situation.

Parents dead (mom committed suicide in front of him) , no family to turn to

I take him to my familys gatherings for Thanksgiving/xmas/easter ect. We always have a good time and my family has loved him like a son.

Sure the first time may be a little awkward but opening your 'heart' and family to a friend can be really rewarding.

He already said that his friend would find it awkward, that's a big enough reason to not invite him.

you are doing fine my kind user, god bless you

>sitting here on Sup Forums instead of going to the exam which started almost an hour ago
>was so optimistic when I moved here in the end of summer to start studying again and get my life on track
>going home over the weekend to celebrate Christmas and have to tell my parents about how I'm failing school again

don't ruin christmas

let them find out when you're supposed to graduate

just do
said

or at least wait after new year

>>How else do you suggest I help him? I'm not inviting him to my parents, it's not my place to do that, there just isn't room and he would feel weird, being a socially awkward guy who's never met any of them. It would kind of rub it in his face that my family are all healthy and happy and his are all dead or estranged from him too.
>
>Like I said, I'll leave my folks early and get him round to mine for drinks and film, if he's not going to his cousin's place. All I can do is try to take his mind off the situation, I can't bring his grandparents back or throw him the party they would've done.
>
>I'm not great at consoling others, I know, so what else should I be doing?


watch Die Hard everyone likes Die Hard

Your mom has borderline tendencies.

>we're going round the table each talking about what we accomplished this year and what we hope for next year
Are you writing a school paper? Who the fuck talks like that? Sounds completely unnatural.

I NEED DA DAHL

I need a turtle man