"Christgau HATES meta-"

"Christgau HATES meta-"

No Remorse [Bronze, 1984]
The critics who used to call Motorhead the worst band in the world had a point, which may be why Lemmy's high-speed metal has now turned into the thinking person's headbang. The stuff is so pure it's almost rarefied: no operatic declamations, no schlocky guitaristics, no satanism or medievalism or sci-fi or sexist s&m. Just aggression, violence, noise. Lemmy doesn't even bellow--his voice is more a hoarse, loud, one-note roar. This tasteful two-disc best-of-plus-four (new and definitive: "Killed By Death") is the first Motorhead product praised by Headheads since No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith, eight of whose eleven songs it includes (the eight best, too). Unless you've got an extra Y chromosone or beat your meat till it bleeds, you likely don't need it on a regular basis. But it'll sure come in handy at those precious moments when you want nothing so much as to smash somebody's face. A-

Orgasmatron [GWR/Profile, 1986]
I admire metal's integrity, brutality, and obsessiveness, but I can't stand its delusions of grandeur--the way it apes and misapprehends reactionary notions of nobility. One thing I like about Lemmy is that he's proud to be a clod, common as muck and dogged in his will to make himself felt as just that. Add that rarest of metal virtues, a sense of humor, which definitely extends to the music's own conventions, as on the lead cut of his first album in three litigation-packed years: yclept "Deaf Forever," a good enough joke right there (especially for Sabbaf fans), it turns out to be a battlefield anthem--about a corpse. And then add Bill Laswell, who was born to make megalomania signify: where most metal production gravitates toward a dull thud that highlights the shriek of the singer and the comforting reverberation of the signature guitar, Laswell's fierce clarity cracks like a whip, inspiring Lemmy, never a slowpoke in this league, to bellow one called "Built for Speed." Result: work of art. A-

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Motorhead are the one metal band that non-metal fans like, largely because they had as much to do with punk as metal, and Christgau loves punk

who cares about this dumb nigger

Could also be that they're actually good opposed to being overblown shit with solos, goblins, autistic Scandinavians and castrati screeching

This is like when a grandparent says they hate electronic music because it isn't real music, but like listening to LMFAO, and try to intellectualize them.

No Remorse was a greatest hist comp. although a good one, and a good way to introduce newbies to Motorhead.

Orgasmatron is the WORST Motorhead album ever made, and this is coming from a life long Motorheadbanger.

Daily reminder: Motorhead are NOT a Heavy Metal band! They were a ROCK AND ROLL BAND!

They had much more in common with AC/DC and ZZ Top than they did with the likes of Judas Priest or Iron Maiden.

(And yes, I know they were a huge influence on bands like Slayer, Metallica, and even Venom, and Exciter, but Lemmy said in almost every interview before his death that Motorhead were rock and roll not metal, and he even closed his shows with that statement)

>"Christgau HATES meta-"
Who are you quoting?

What’s the best album to start with for someone who refuses to listen to a greatest hits comp?

Always been interested in them but never actually listened.

Overkill for the best overall intro, but Ace Of Spades if you want the hits

If you want to start listening to Motorhead but don't want a Greatest Hits comp, then Ace of Spades is the best place to start. After that, No Sleep til Hammersmith. Overkill is a good album, but that shouldn't be the very first album you should listen to. I still recommend No Remorse for somebody just starting to get their feet wet in the muddy Motorhead puddle.

Motorhead aren't even really metal and Lemmy never considered them to be a metal band. More like fast pub rock.

I love all the digs he makes at Judas Priest and Iron Maiden in these two reviews even though he was too cowardly to actually bother reviewing either band.

You got dubs.
I refer you to

I think he gave Master of Puppets a B-, that's not exactly "hating it".

Yeah you know, the way he always rants about metal being meaningless wank...it reminds me of what my uncle told me about back in the day how Lester Bangs would write entire essays on how Led Zeppelin had no soul and were just exhibitionist entertainment for 14 year olds. My uncle said he never understood this or why he and his friends could "feel" the music and Bangs couldn't.

Oh well, regardless of whether you agreed with Bangs or not, at least he wrote detailed pieces on albums explaining why he did or didn't like then as opposed to a two sentence insult or a bomb symbol.

He gave a B plus to Reign in Blood which I can't account for either.

Either of you ever read the book Psychotic Reaction and Carburetor Dung?

It's classic Lester Bangs at his best.

Superunknown [A&M, 1994]
Having mocked this group's conceptual pretensions for years, I'd best point out that Chris Cornell still isn't Robert Plant, Kim Thayill still isn't Jimmy Page, and so forth, before cheerfully acknowledging that 1) they're all closer than they used to be and 2) it no longer matters. This is easily the best--the most galvanizing, kinetic, sensational, catchy--Zep rip in history. And though there may be a philosophical or interpersonal dimension, to me the trick sounds like it was done with songwriting, arrangement, and production. At 70 minutes, it's what used to be called a double album, not quite as long as Physical Graffiti but a lot more consistent. And though their apocalyptic pessimism is almost as content-free as Zep's apocalyptic mystagogy, Zep never reached out like Cornell in "My Wave": "Cry, if you want to cry/If it helps you see/If it clears your eyes/Hate, if you want to hate/If it keeps you safe/If it makes you brave." A-

Evil Empire [Epic, 1996]
Three years late, it's the militant rap-metal everybody knew was the next big thing. Zack de la Rocha will never be Linton Kwesi Johnson. But collegiate leftism beats collegiate lots of other things, not to mention high school misogyny, and it takes natural aesthetes like these to pound home such a sledgehammer analysis. A-

Reign in Blood [Def Jam, 1986]
I'm not about to check out the complete works of Venom to make sure you can't do better, but anyone who wants to know what gets Washington ladies hot should steal, tape, or purchase this piece of speed satanism quote unquote. Rick Rubin focused, CBS passed, guitar's quicker than a theremin on reverb, and "Jesus Saves" mauls the enemy. Who ain't Jesus--or, damn right, Satan either. B+

I too liked Led Zeppelin when I was 14. Your uncle and his friends possess no special faculties that others are missing, they are simply plebs, because everyone "feels" the music they like.

I've systematically deconstructed most of Christgau's arguments against metal.

>1. They don't play fast enough. Rock and roll is supposed to be fast, dammit.
A lot of the bands he worships like the Rolling Stones and whatnot had mainly mid-tempo songs, most of them were not playing at speed metal tempos. Also metal bands that play at slower tempos on the record often speed up the songs live.
>2. Hurr they debase women
A lot of artists he worships have p. sexist lyrics.
>3. Metal is depressing angst
This from the guy who gave As and Bs to multiple Springsteen albums whining about the decay of the Rust Belt? Also a lot of metal anger is tongue-in-cheek.
>4. Only white males listen to metal which makes it invalid artistically
Wait, aren't Springsteen and Dylan's fans mostly white males?
>5. Well maybe I was just born in the wrong generation to "get" metal.
But you weren't born in the wrong generation to "get" punk and hip-hop?
>6. Metal is soulless wank with no feels
I sure feel something when I listen to Megadeth. Dunno about you, Bobby.

>Soundgarden
>metal

>I've systematically deconstructed most of Christgau's arguments against metal.
Time well spent, I'm sure.
>This from the guy who gave As and Bs to multiple Springsteen albums whining about the decay of the Rust Belt?
Oh, it's you again. Stopped reading.

metal-archives.com/bands/Soundgarden/5649

>I sure feel something when I listen to Megadeth.
i feel like that says more about you than christgau

Soundgarden are more noise rock than anything, their sound has the rhythm section rather than the guitar up front. Alice in Chains are far more metal-ish.

Superunknown has some straight up alternative metal tracks. Louder than Love is pretty much a Sabbath album made in the 90s.
His criticisms against metal are legit, but the final score doesn't really reflect consistency.

You like Megadeth?

UltramegaOK and Louder Than Love are a mix of Alternative Rock, Stoner Rock and Heavy Metal.

oh no yyou guys summoned this autist AAA

I've systematically deconstructed most of Christgau's arguments against metal.

>1. They don't play fast enough. Rock and roll is supposed to be fast, dammit.
A lot of the bands he worships like the Rolling Stones and whatnot had mainly mid-tempo songs, most of them were not playing at speed metal tempos. Also metal bands that play at slower tempos on the record often speed up the songs live.
>2. Hurr they debase women
A lot of artists he worships have some pretty sexist lyrics although he's tried to act as if the Rolling Stones don't (hurp Mick Jagger is really androgynous that doesn't count).
>3. Metal is depressing angst
This from the guy who gave As and Bs to multiple Springsteen albums whining about the decay of the Rust Belt? Also a lot of metal anger is tongue-in-cheek. There's a lot of humor and self-awareness in metal that goes completely over his head.
>4. Only white males listen to metal which makes it invalid artistically
Wait, aren't Springsteen and Dylan's fans mostly white males? I mean, just the argument that music is only valid if POC listen to it is cheap in of itself, but adding that in...
>5. Well maybe I was just born in the wrong generation to "get" metal.
But you weren't born in the wrong generation to "get" punk and hip-hop?
>6. Metal is soulless wank with no feels
Is there an objective system to determine whether music has "feels" or is it just your personal subjective opinion?

>removed the part where he says he likes Megadeth

what about Megadeth?

>I mean, just the argument that music is only valid if POC listen to it is cheap in of itself, but adding that in

You've clearly never seen Dave Marsh. Any music that has a mostly white male fanbase is invalid to him unless it's Bruce Springsteen.

Some of these critics suffer from a weird hipster condition where they think black people are some kind of toad you lick to gain wisdom. It's pretty silly and actually racist in a way.

Critics can't handle metal because it relies on instruments to tell a story rather than words. The problem is that it's easier to write about lyrics than it is guitar riffs.

metalheads think this argument makes them sound smart

Most likely because it's fast, sloppy, and, well, silly and almost bordering on self-parody.

dammit, answer my question about Megadeth already

Critics are more than capable, the thing about it is that criticism is based on personal opinion. Metal hasn't been in the mainstream ever since the early 00s, if you want a fair review you need to go to sites that only talk about metal and not some sort of jack of all trades site which often focus on pop music that happens to limit their opinions.

I agree with almost everything said by Christgau (mostly when it doesn't involve his shitty post-ironic excuse for humor), but I wouldn't really trust his scores as a consumer guide for anything.

>I agree with almost everything said by Christgau
He beat up on Journey. Wow, that takes a lot of effort. Sort of like racing in the Special Olympics.

Bangs also dismembered Blondie while Christgau couldn't get over his retard-tier waifu crush on Debbie Harry.

Myself, I never dismiss whole genres of music out of hand. Although there's certain stuff like country that doesn't appeal to me, I don't go around and act like the entirety of country music and its fans are devoid of any redeeming value.

I don't hate Blondie but fucking DH would seem like a good way to get an STD.

>mostly when it doesn't involve his shitty post-ironic excuse for humor

CSN [Atlantic, 1977]

Wait a second, wasn't this a quartet? D+

Well, it's not as if Crosby, Stills, and Nash don't deserve it anyway.

He kind of gave a positive review to Uriah Heep's debut.

Critics are way too concerned with a band's message/politics for my taste.

I agree that dedicated sites like Metal Injection are a far better source than general-purpose pop music publications.

From some of Christgau's writings, you get the impression he's listened to quite a bit of metal, but he seldom bothers reviewing metal albums aside from ultra plebcore like Metallica.

>write lyrics
>lyrics are made up of words
>words communicate meaning
>hurr why do people care about lyrics

The thing is that country is about a million times better than metal.

"I'm drinking my life away in a redneck bar in a redneck county and my wife cheated on me and my dog got run over by a bus."

Not sure this is necessarily an improvement.

>what are subjective tastes

This was the man who gave Let's Dance a B plus. Let that sink in slowly.

But those things are all rad

Bob, get offa Sup Forums and pen another graduate thesis about the brilliance of the New York Dolls.

Christgau might be the OG nu-male, any “metalhead’s metal” physically repels him.

seriously, NYD are okay at best. greatest rock group of all time? get real.

I admit I'm not a great fan of underground/extreme metal. Stuff like Temple of Baal is just too much for me. I think that something was sadly lost after the 80s in terms of metal having a pop sensibility.

Most of that is a metaphor for social commentary anyway.

Punk, now there's a bland and incredibly obnoxious form of music.

I don't understand the mentality that metal is 'cool'. every 'metalhead' I've ever met is a timid socially awkward neckbeard with hair down his back, literal vagina repellent like creature who says 3 words a day and usually has ALOT to say under the comfort of anonymity. sound familiar boys?

You're right. Actually Christgau seems to mix up metalfags with jocks like the kind who kicked his ass in the 10th grade. Jocks don't listen to metal, at least not real metal. Maybe buttmetal.