/brit/

rasheedian nights edition

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southampton solent mentioned

>heres your daily dose of aspartame sweetie :)

west sussex

Absolute state of this leaf.

I don't like what the world is turning into, It was much better in the 90s sub-edition.

>and taken care of by smart people.
ah yes, forgot we should all be taken care of by ugly muslim nonces, not doctors and academics

Malaga

I am

>28
>virgin
>NEET
>ugly
>short
>skinny fat
>dateless
>friendless
>unintelligent

how do i change my life guys been trying for over 10 years and just can't seem to get anywhere

doing a degree in English literature at the open university

need a qt short haired gf

I

>don’t care

some things change and some things stay the same lad

also do lads here

is /fit/ real or a meme?

do womyn really act differently?

>g

I have some bad news user

Read every word and empathized thoroughly.

southampton mentioned

As long as you're happy sweety
>Implying he isn't in a state of soul-crushing depression because of all the bullshit he is forced to accept

an empire perhaps?

>Back to German flag next week

Fuck sake.

pink shirt girl looks thick

QT on Pointless with a Paki teammate

2/9

>ywn come back from work to lay on the couch with your significant other and watch pointless

would honestly kill myself if i weren't british

>couch
you know what to do

any "any X mans in" mans in?

Where is the lad who's in Alicante? I'll be in Valencia from Aug 2nd onwards. Wanna meet up? Would literally heem you.

would honestly kill myself if i were british

hey guys just doing basic prep work for /britgoingout/ crew, in case you didn't hear 8 of us met up last saturday and went to frabic.

Early thinking is Brixton Jam on saturday

I met Conor McGregor at a restaurant once - we’d accidentally been given his table. Apparently he was fond of the restaurant and had a specific table he liked, and the management had messed up and gotten their days wrong (it was Tuesday and they thought he was coming on Thursday or something like that).
Anyway, the manager, completely embarrassed (this is a pretty nice restaurant) comes by and says “I’m so sorry, but we’d like to move you to another table if you don't mind, and we’ll gladly compensate you for the cost of the meal” My sister and ma were both like “Yeah that’s cool.” and I kind of played the cunt a bit. “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. We’ve been here for 15 minutes - we’ve just ordered. Can’t we finish our meal here?”
Then out of nowhere McGregor shows up next to the manager and says “Paul, these guys can finish. We’ll be at the bar. I got some time.” And I (being a big Conor McGregor fan) said “Oh wow, uh… I had no idea. Please feel free to give them the table.” Conor was grateful, shook my hand and said thanks, then gave me a card with his number on it and told me to give him a call later.
After working up the nerve, I gave him a call that night, and to make a long story short, we had a glorious 11 month love affair, man on man, that I shall never forget. Our bodies intertwined as one, and from the beauty of Morocco, to the French Riviera, to the snorkeling in the Galopagos, Conor McGregor and I made glorious gay love to each other on six of the seven continents.

>>virgin
find an escort, having sex is what every man needs, even if you have to pay for it
>>NEET
find a low-skill job or get back into A levels
>>ugly
get a nice haircut, start being more hygienic and taking care of your skin, go on a diet
>>short
wear boots/lifts i guess
>>skinny fat
start working out, go on a good diet
>>dateless
use dating sites
>>friendless
make friends at a job or a club, join a club or hobby you enjoy.
>>unintelligent
dunno about intelligence but you can increase your knowledge by reading more

Fuck normingtons!!!! Aaarooo

I believe it's 'X-men'

hello rasheed

well what do you call it

perused and savoured every single syllable

>you can increase your knowledge by reading more

if the next thread isn't about southampton i'm going to go doopin' mental

sofa

Kids and snot nosed snobby wankers have no idea what this country lost. If Britain has gone to shit, it's because everyone is miserable now because they don't have the socialisation they used to. Imagine the entire working class of a country, going from hanging out with a dozen pals on an evening in a fun, communal atmosphere, to sitting at home drinking and smoking in front of the kids. Absolutely ruined this country.

Fucking lefties love to act like they're the champions of the working class, but give 'em half a chance and they're trampling all over the "pitiful" workers, gleefully enforcing their "progressive" rules handed down to them by their masters. When the leader of the Labour party went from being John Smith to being Tony Blair. That was the precise moment this country was fucked.

what is difference to wanking tho with prostitute isnt' real

I have masters degree but can't get non canerous job so would rather not work

have haircut shower more or less everyday and use exfoliators etc and try to monitor diet

have one shoe with 2 inch lift

i try working out but then give up bc i see myself in the mirror and rmb even if i hard a great body i would still look like that

no women have interest in me

I have tried but stuff like magic the gathering nerds are just too weird for me

I read a lot fiction non-fiction etc

would smash ellen on pointless ngl

...

Not reading a word of this novella

...

well yeah

Or the cunts can simply stop smoking.

what's wrong about that statement

Why don’t you get another shoe with a lift so you don’t have to be lopsided all the time

Why can a 3/10 female get dicked by so many guys yet a 3/10 guy wouldn't receive the same kind of attention from women?

Yeah a few years ago I was in really good shape and I got noticeably more attention from women
Over the past year I let myself go and women don't even smile at me.

>consuming media is a hobby

Ever noticed how the only people who use Facebook now are single mothers with three or four different kids by different fathers?

mad how I was thinking of this image at work today

because that's how life is you whining little scab

womyn dont smile at cute guys

haha good one see how stupid i am didn't even realise i said that

>I have masters degree
in what? try and get a job with that

a woman, even a paid one, is much nicer than wanking, trust me. there's a reason why prostitutes have been around since the dawn of time, men need sex with a woman, not just to cum.

stop giving up on working out, manlets should especially get fit because they can't rely on height.

try more club and hobbies. maybe an activity like kayaking or hiking or swimming. be adventurous

tbqh, you seem like you've given up on yourself already, so i'm not sure why i'm even bothering answering your plea for help when you're not going to do anything

...

how would you know

dire that you wrote all this for a pathetic runt

>Fucking lefties love to act like they're the champions of the working class, but give 'em half a chance and they're trampling all over the "pitiful" workers, gleefully enforcing their "progressive" rules handed down to them by their masters
Bottom line is that they want to tax you. That's all they're interested in. Pack of cigarettes in now 10 euros in France, it will be the same in your country soon I'm sure. Same for carbon. No one cares about global warming. It's just another way to tax you,
It's insulting to the real left to call the current European Progressive Dictatorships "lefties".
Or the real left should call itself something else.

think i might be on the spectrum

i mean u raise a fair point but i have been part of sports stuff before and i was just shit and "put up with" not liked or welcomed just liek with every other avenue of my life. as I said i still try to take care of skin and diet but working out just feels too pointless when i see myself in mirror and remember that i look like such shit

How do I join a club or find a place to do hobbies?

love eating
hate lifting culture

simple as

i still naively believe in redemption i guess

think i just sat on a sceptrum

Just go to your uni's /brit/ club

you arrive in southampton water

I think I have alzheimer's.

if you go out to local businesses in your village/town/city you'll likely see flyers hanging up on the walls or windows advertising a social club

Got like ten episodes of The Sopranos left, what do I watch next? I was thinking King of the Hill.

Mad Men

you leave southampton water and arrive at the redbridge flyover dual carriageway leading to southampton city centre

Is that realistic, or reasonable? To expect ten million addicts to all simultaneously quit a vice they've enjoyed for generations, because the government clamped down on where they can do it?

It's not the government's place to dictate whether your establishment can have people smoking in it or not. A pub or social club should have it's rules set (within reason) by the landlord, not by some control freak overlord in Brussels who's never set foot in a British pub.

Not to say it was only the EU regulations, big brewery had a hand in it as well, but I reckon we could've saved the pub if we'd fought for it.

because they don't

womyn hate doing this because they feel objectified and the man will approach (womyn get approached a shit load and are fed up from this)

The gym. You'd make a lot of friends.

hmmmm

Is it on fire?

you just know..

private ID is calling me lads shant be answering this

>addiction
>real

youtube.com/watch?v=ymTZapaC8X8

business idea: height redistriction. we cut off parts of tall people to make short people taller

>Peter Hitchens
>An IQ higher than 12

>tfw no thicc in muh life

are you around bumble lad anything good happen?

>he hasn't breathed in a healthy southampton smog

State of this smokey runt saying we should go back to filling pubs and other establishments with godawful cancer fumes.

Very rarely see smokers these days but when I do happen to walk past one the smell just about knocks you out. Imagine going back to pubs and restaraunts stinking like that. Horrible. Third world, even.

...

if i pull you off will you cum

don't understand hitchens' obsession with pretending addiction isn't real. it wouldn't weaken his case any less to just admit it

Wahey it’s everyone’s favourite balding African manlet! Waheyy
*gives you a nuggie and a few more hairs fall out*

what the fuck is going on in this picture. Is Pepe raping wojak?

I find it very unsettling when a woman has a male dog

How often do you read books?

it would be extremely pleasurable

Depends, does Sup Forums count as a book?