What would she say if she touched you?

What would she say if she touched you?

For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

Can she sense an imminent rape?

>what's with all the gay porn?

>"I can't wait to browse Sup Forums later"?

"you want love but you are unable to give it or do anything to make it happen"

>pls b my space gf

>TFW aliens can't read your mind because you are a wizard.

>SHE JUST TOLD EVERYONE THAT YOU BROWSE REDDIT

Autism speaks.

>"You want to do WHAT with my feet?!"

>Nothing personnel kid

Fuck aliens tbqfh familia

>Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA.

audible kek

Is she supposed to be some anime-ish character?

"why are you so sweaty"

>I hate gooks

>You want to do WHAT to my head antennae?

No she's just Asian.

Hope they establish her as a tranny.

>"youre insecure about your sexuality but are too afraid to admit to your boyfriend that you might not be gay after all?"

>I hope no one finds out I pretend not to browse reddit in order to fit in with the cool oldfags on Sup Forums
>I hope no one finds out I use reddit as an insult to disguise my true origins
t. Sup Forums

This, I never use reddit as an insult because I wouldn't know what its like to spot reddit behavior in someone.

>"why do you want to fuck me?"

Not muh Mantis

>too afraid to admit to your boyfriend that you might not be gay after all
>mfw imagining some user getting ploughed in the ass because he's too beta to tell his bf he's not a homo

Is this dank pasta new? It's pretty good.

>Kill yourself.

How can one man watch so much porn?

>You want to cuddle Chris Pratt?

Who is this boner moaner?

I don't mean to ruin his relations, but he needs to speak up. There's a presumption most straight people are gay but little belief any gay people can go straight. And I'm sure if any ever has they were later told they were never really gay and stigmatized.

He's just going to make himself miserable for others one way or another, he might as well go for the option that at least allows him to be happy for himself.

She would start screaming and run out of the room.

Please delet this

>You... you seriously never had a single happy memory in your life

>There's a presumption most straight people are gay

>"I bet she has a sideways snazz"

"Wow, nothing huh? No drive, no future plans, just go to work from 9 to 5, then watching movies and drinking beer after work? Is that all there is to you?"

yeah but its like, i dont mind gay sex

in a way getting a dick up the ass is actually quite comfy. its a lot like cuddling.

i just dont think it sexually excites me

"get away from me you filthy turk"

>McChickenposting
>new
The only new here is you, friend

Tfw cuddle with gf will never be the same

>in a way getting a dick up the ass is actually quite comfy. its a lot like cuddling.
Gayest thing I've read in my life. You need to tell your boyfriend that he's dating a faggot.

t-there aren't actually REAL people like this?

God damn it, why is Lex so cute?

>getting a dick up the ass is actually quite comfy. its a lot like cuddling.
Are you sure you don't just like the feeling of someone embracing you from behind and confused that in adulthood with them also being up your ass while they're back there?

I don't even know how to respond to this post.

wtf I'm gay now

Quite possibly.

You should try it. ask your gf to wear a strapon or something.

getting fucked stimulates you all over - its not just focussed on my dick like when i masturbate - im getting held, kissed, slapped, rubbed, tickled, groped, etc all over my body simultaneously. its very nice.

but, like i said, not so much sexually exciting for me. but i still quite like it desu.

>getting a dick up the ass is actually quite comfy. its a lot like cuddling.
Your poor anus must be utterly broken

Do women sexually excite you then? Or are you just asexual?

>"some confused faggot(?) is derailing this thread"

Been here since '09 friendo, maybe I haven't spent enough time on the shit boards

>im getting held, kissed, slapped, rubbed, tickled, groped, etc all over my body simultaneously.
Sounds pretty gay user

But Sup Forums is one of the shittiest boards.

*puts a hand on mine*
>BANE?

Yeah that's what I'm saying.

I dont know, man. I like cartoon hentai, but I feel like I might be looking more at the dicks than the women.

I dont like IRL women though, at least not so far. I think.

And while I cant wank to live action gay porn, i can get off to written gay smut and, obviously, actual gay sex (sometimes).

ive never had heter sex so idk what thats like

>why do you want to stick it in my pooper

When was the last time he ploughed you? What were you watching on TV. What if he proposed to you? Lol faggot.

how do you clean your asshole when he cums inside you?

To conclude my hack shrink thoughts on the matter before I exempt myself from wherever this is headed, it sounds to me like you're a person of stimuli before sexuality. You've just happened to find the givers in society tend to be men so you've ended up in the position you're in to get what's being given, innuendo intended.
I'd come clean if I were you, if anyone really loves you at all they'll love you for you and not because of your specific sexuality lining up.

3 days ago we watched Dr Katz in bed (it was the one about gardening), and afterwards he fucked me. then he fell asleep in my arms, it was the first time he ever did that. it was kind of sweet really.

we use condoms always, because of aids and stuff.

and usually i just take a quick shower afterwards.

so you think we could be together even though i might not be fully gay?

>who is Bane?

Sounds to me like you're bisexual with a heavy preference for men so why the fuck not? Does he only date 100% gay guys?

Maybe you're just not that into him specifically.

>I've never been THIS bored.

David Bowie, is that you?

DELETE THIS

>he faps to his waifu

user are you getting railed by dick when you really don't want to?

i dont know if i want to or not, its all very confusing

What am I looking at and where can I find the full video?

its the national sport of Turkey, called oil wrestling.

you win by getting your arm all the way through the other guys pants

search on youtube for more

Huh, thanks. Maybe roaches aren't so bad after all.

That's without a doubt the gayest thing I've ever heard of

>ntring your waifu

...

I tried the fag thing out for a bit. It turned out I was just watching to much potn and got bored of women so this new exciting porn tricked me. This is why I sort get those people into tranny's. It's all a honeymoon phase.

Plus dicks in your ass is bad for your health.

>you're a virgin

>in a way getting a dick up the ass is actually quite comfy. its a lot like cuddling.

I don't know if you're gay but you're definitely a faggot.

You still love her and miss her everyday :(

But it's not a Sup Forums pasta. You're not making a lot of sense.

>McChicken sauce

Doesn't exist.

>You like to party with your peeps? Cruise n' Creep?

>he's never fallen asleep with a finger in his ass.

Dubdubz check!

>We're all miserable, unlovable wretches.

Feels dem

The propaganda is working

Your father was emotionally distant and you were abused, if not by him, then by some other male authority figure who led you to believe that such behaviour was merely a way of expressing warmth and intimacy, as opposed to simply using you like an adolescent cumsock for a sexual predator.

You associate being another man's human lego block with being held affectionately by a strong male who values your existence, which you have rationalized in your adult mind as being an indicator that you are homosexual, as opposed to being an emotionally-deprived manchild who simply wants to feel loved, who allows himself to be used, as he was all his life, for sexual gain in return for a shred of masculine affection.

Most likely you are not gay, but have severe boundary problems and intense psychological issues regarding men that sees you normalizing behaviour that would be otherwise devastating to a healthy, heterosexual male. I would suggest breaking your relationship and seeking immediate psychological help in the hopes that you can untangle your normalized patterns and begin to realize your true sexual identity, in the hopes of establishing a healthy relationship with someone you are truly compatible with and live a fulfilling, sexually-satisfying life.

no you fuck you win by forcing the opponents back(as in dorsal not ass) on the ground, stop making bullshit it's not gay

Just save the pasta and move on you newfag

t. roach

i wasnt abused by anyone

i cant speak as to the rest though. it all sounds suspiciously unverifiable desu

i must be misinterpreting yhe rules then, sorry

pic related btw

How's life worshipping a mentally ill dead roastie, Kate McKinnon?

When are we going to get to see Debicki?

You have raped and killed 8 women? OH MY GOD!

>Asian women
>Ever not made for white cock

my sides.