WAS SPENDING CHRISTMAS EVE ALONE PART OF YOUR PLAN?

WAS SPENDING CHRISTMAS EVE ALONE PART OF YOUR PLAN?

OF COURSE

OFCOARSE

My mom is in the other room bird watching

...

Was getting dubs part of your plan?

Congratulations you got yourself dubs, so what's the next step of your masterplan?

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the plane
Not a creature was stirring, not even Bane
The flight plan was filed with the agency with care
CIA knowing the hostages wouldn’t all reach there

The prisoners were kneeling with bags on their heads
With visions of sleighbells and crashing sleds
And CIA in his polo, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap

When out on the clouds there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the seat to see what was the matter.
Away to the aisle I flew like a flash,
Tore open the seatbelt and turned in a dash

Bigger than average, but still under detain,
I knew in a moment it must have been Bane.

More rapid than eagles CIA’s surprise came,
And he pointed, and shouted, and called him by name
“Bane?” he gasped, with shock and surprise,
As he realised his flightplan hadn’t included this guise

How vital the mask, CIA did wonder,
When it would realise he had made such a blunder.
Pain would occur, although the target unclear,
Until Bane interjected with CIA’s biggest fear.
For when told he was a big guy, Bane responded with glee
That CIA feeling glum is how it would be

I'm with my family, what are you talking about CIA?

UUUU

...

...

4U

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the board
The Banethreads were stirring, as janitor snored.
The doubles were got, and the triples there too,
In such a great number to turn Redditors blue

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Baneposting danced in their heads.
And moot in his yarmulke, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap
When down in the basement the custodian arose
He sprang from his sleep wearing his shit covered clothes
Away to the computer, he waddled in a flash
Huffing and puffing and scratching his rash

The board was filled with festive spirit and cheer
But janitor could still only scoff and sneer
From all sides of the board fun began to bloom
as the miserly custodian just started to fume

With a sip of his dew, and a hand on his dick,
He knew in a moment the threads must go quick
More rapid than ever his fingers they came,
And he splattered, and slammed, and deleted with aim

"Now baneposters! now, cunnyspammer! now, fun and Christmas joy!
On, shitposts! On, banjis! this board isn’t a toy!
To the top of the thread! to the top of the board!
Now dash away fun! Dash away! Dash away all!"

...

But then, in a twinkling, I saw on the page
Posts of laughter and delight that would make janitor rage.
And as I scrolled with the mouse, the board filling with fun,
Up the threads came and I knew Christmas had won

Full of Bane and dubs, from their head to their foot,
And instead of going, they all just stayed put.
Too shocked he had been that he’d flung on his back,
And he couldn’t get up, not even to snack

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn down in a frown
And the beard of his chin was a dirt covered brown

The hotpocket he held so tight in his teeth,
And the grease it encircled his face like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a big round belly,
That wobbled when he cried, like a bowlful of jelly!

His cartoons saved and archived, with girls far too young,
Still helplessly panting and straining each lung,
He cried for some help, to get back to his board,
And delete all the threads, for no monetary reward

But no help came, and he was stuck in that cellar
Just lying there alone, the rotund basement dweller

Now I sprang to my thread, to post another verse
And finish this shitpost, jani's smell getting worse
So as I post this last line, and mock the janitor’s plight:
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

WHAT DOES IT MEANS?

kek wills it

jesus christ on a pogo stick

Why yes. I mean my family is shit, I have no friends and nobody cares about me.

I'm watching BvS on tv and keep thinking that one guy looks like Masketta Man.