RUN, YOU FOOLS

>RUN, YOU FOOLS

;-;

...

>run

uhm??

>skedaddle you nincompoops

what did he mean by that?

>Gandalf knew Moria was in ruin and taken over by Orcs
>Gandalf knew a Balrog was roaming free in there
>Gandalf still leads the company in there without giving them any warning whatsoever

He was a good friend.

>fly [the eagles] you fools

>mosey on over y'all

...

>CHEESE IT

Gimley betrayed them tb h

As fucked as Moria was, with Saruman cucking them out of the mountain pass, it was technically the safest way past the mountains because it wasn't watched by Sauron's spies.

>Leg it, cunts

>Elrond in the light
>Isildur in the shadow

This was the last time they spoke as friends. What did Jackson mean by this? Was it autism? Now that the dust has settled, was it kino? Just marathoned this scene, did I like it?

He told them they should avoid the mines unless absolutely necessary and then he let Frodo choose when growing through the mountains was too difficult.

>Scarper you fuckwits

>Cuck off, fellow memers

I reckon Boromir could have got them an escort to Gondor.

>oh shit, guys, i think we left the ring in the shire

>Don't you see? The real One Ring was inside you all along, Frodo.

Fuck off Tolkien you hack

>the one ring makes the wearer invisible
>except for sauron who wears it at the beginning of fellowship and is visible
what did tolkien mean by this?

>Flauhuh you fools

He didn't fly so good. Who wants to try next?

Sauron had a glove on. the Ring doesnt work through gloves only on actual skin.

your status= BTFO

I think this was brought up and it was deemed too dangerous being out in the open for the long amount of time it would take

No it doesn't it gives them a power boost proportional to their base level of power. Low powered creatures like hobbits gain invisibility and increased life, mid to high powered creatures like Aragorn basically gain magical powers and could overthrow Sauron, high powered creatures like Gandalf and Saruman would essentially become Sauron and rule Middle Earth. Of course it's difficult to quantify power levels in the LOTR universe so take these with a grain of salt.

that scene is a Peter Hackson creation, not Tolkiens.

he wanted to level up so thats why he took all the balrog EXP for himself when he told them to run

Haha epiiiiIIIIC JUST LIKE A VIDEO GAME HAHA XDXD OH MAN FUKIN EPIIIIKKKKKK HAHAHHA

How would you handle the ring situation?
Here is my soultion:
>make thousands and thousands of identical copies of the one ring
>put them in a big enough safe
>find the deepest ocean there is in middle earth
>put the safe inside with stones attached
It's hard to recover and even then they won't know which ring is which and will have to spend weeks if not months putting them on one by one.

you okay buddy?

If knobhead didnt knock a bucket down a well then they might have gotten through unnoticed.

They would just need to throw all of the rings into a fire and pick the one that was glowing with elvish writing

They're both in the exact same amount of light.

too deep for you

He actually says fly.

As in take flight, or to flee, as in a word that has been in the English language for centuries

>;-;

What the fuck is this shit?

Proceed as in the books but get some Dwarves to help us tunnel into Mordor. Fuck going through the black gate or Shelob.

If I'm being completely honest. This is your most favorite scene of all time.

too deep for you

STFU, SWINE

>leg it you cunts

See you unoriginal bastard

How embarrassing.

Shit, it's the Meme Police! Duck, everybody!

The ring can't be melted, but surely it can be encased in a big ball of iron or something. Just throw it into a big thing of molten metal, then throw that into the middle of the ocean.

>book it you rasclarts

sauron was beginning to take physical form in the books and would eventually just be able to go out and sense it himself

The ring wants to be found, a shark would get hold of it and then everyone is fucked

what power would it give a shark if it slipped its dick through the ring? it's got no fingers, so surely other body parts can work for creatures without fingers

if the Ring has a mind of its own and can roll around then why didnt it just roll all the way back to Mordor?
why did it find Gollum and think "ah OK i'll just live with this creepy freak for the next 500 years while it talks to itself about fish"

BRAVO TOLKIEN

he was talking about metaphorical light, you dip.

>what power would it give a shark if it slipped its dick through the ring?

invisible shark rape

RIP

It was the only quick way. The mountain was inaccessible and the Gap of Rohan was too close to Isengard.

There are worse things than orcs in the deep places of the world. There's probably some eldritch horror (think an ocean version of Ungoliant) in the deep that could get the ring.

ahh yes Ungoliant how could I forget.

heh.stupid fucking plebs.

Hey, any Tolkien fan should have at least passing knowledge of what goes down in the Silmarillion.

The ring doesn't actually make you invisible, it transports your body into the spirit world. This is why Ringwraiths, spirit beings, can see someone wearing the ring. Sauron is an angel, so he already exists in the spirit world.

>tfw Saruman of Many Colours will never build his industrial empire on Middle-earth

It is kinda weird to remember that Gandalf, Sauron, and the Balrog are all the same species.

Sauron was going to win whether or not he got the ring, that was the whole point. The only way to defeat him was to destroy the ring.

Sauron was about to beat everybody anyway. Tossing it in the ocean just means that the ringwraiths have to go diving a whole fucking lot after Sauron's reduced the West to a smoldering wasteland.

Why didn't the retarded Balrog just fly and kill them all?


Tolkien is a hack.

Were the demands laid forth by the Mouth of Sauron that bad a deal? Sounds like Sauron was willing to give people autonomy as long as they bent the knee.

Would you a female orc?

I read the silmarillion over a decade ago. I honestly barely remember anything from it. It's not a very inviting read

He was on it when Isildur lost it. His only powers are to slip off fingers and roll, you having it in your hand or tied into a mall rope/chain fucks him over.
He had to wait 500 years to ANY fucker as fucking smegmagol hid in a fucking dungeon.
He can roll, its not a damn gps.

Melkor is an angel, pretty much Lucifer. Elves make shiny rocks that he covets. Elves get pissed off. Ungoliant is a fuckhuge spider demon Melkor collaborates with to fuck over the other the other angels on Ea (Earth).

>git ya bozos

sod off you bastards

>orcs and swarthy foreigners try to destroy white civilization
>Whites band together to kick their ass
Was Tolkien redpilled?

I don't remember that GoT episode

I'd put my meat on her menu if you know what I mean

kek

>It's not a very inviting read


Respectfully disagreed. Yes, the writing can be very dry, but the stuff that happens in that damn book is batshit insanity, way beyond what LotR and the Hobbit had.

I fully remember Melkor.

I was also reading Indian(poo not feather) history at the same time, So the whole time I was imagining it from tolkeins perspective. With the whole "Aryan" nomad invasion of NW India.

Maybe not just from Tolkiens perspective but from a historical/mytholical perspective from the time I imagined the Silmarilian happening in my mind.

So literally everything I would equate to either foreign nomad invaders, or regular villagers. or something.

idk. During the time I read those books I also smoked weed, so I might have pasted together a few things in my mind.

After all this time, turns out I was the real The Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring by J. R. R. Tolkien directed by Peter Jackson.

White people actually made peace with the swarthy foreigners afterwards, not sure if he really was redpilled enough.

He passed over Dor-nu-Fauglith like a wind amid the dust, and all that beheld his onset fled in amaze, thinking that Oromë himself was come: for a great madness of rage was upon him, so that his eyes shone like the eyes of the Valar. Thus he came alone to Angband’s gates, and he sounded his horn, and smote once more upon the brazen doors, and challenged Morgoth to come forth to single combat. And Morgoth came.

Yeah, after they kicked their ass and made them run home with their tail between their legs. It's like how we bombed Japan to the Stone Age and then helped them rebuild after making it clear to never fuck with us again.

Muh dik

not really, the orcs are the one who are redpilled

This. For example, Sauron actually gets to do stuff, and some of them even work as intended. Also, he transforms into a wolf, and a bat, and a glorious faggot.

Oh, and the Sun and the Moon move through the skies because a horny guy really wants to fuck some hot slut.

So the main players were Melkor, Morgoth, and the Valar in the silmarillion right? I'm like 90% sure of the first two but I can't remember how the Valar fit in. They had something to do with the Elves right?

I do remember the Elves played a big role in all of this.

Were they related to the people beyond the sea or wherever frodo was going at the end of the movies?

There's also Feanor, maker of the Silmarils and a crazy motherfucker.

>some hot slut

Literally, she was a fire spirit IIRC:

Melkor and Morgoth are different names for the same being, brah.

Also, there is the asshole king of all elves, Feanor.

Melkor is Morgoth. The book is basically the account of how he fucked over the world and caused all the bad shit that leads into LOTR.

This is Reddit, this is memes, this is Reddit, this is memes.

I'm surprised the Elves didn't catch on sooner that "Annatar" was up to no good. Guess it was hubris.

Don't downplay Sauron. He directly caused the fall of Numenor.

fug. Well shit. I really must have forgot everything. then.


The elves do still lay a big role in this though right? Can I at least get 1 thing right

Yes, a very large role.

Yes, most of the important parts of the books are about the centuries of war between Morgoth and the elves. You see, that fucker stole some jewelry and cut down their favorite trees.

The great gardening war of Middle Earth.

I remember feeling disappointed they didn't really explain the land frodo and his ilk went to after the war.

It's Valinor, home of the Vala. The world used to be flat, and you could sail right to it. After Numenorians tried to invade it under Sauron's influence, they curved the world and made it to where you could only reach it from the Grey Havens, the harbor at the end of ROTK.

>none of the elves actually die for real because their souls are bound to the world
>dorfs may or may not reappear at their maker's place after death
>Middle-earth used to be twice as big but the half with the coolest shit on it got blown up and sunk
>Durin's Bane was just a chump who hid while the real big-time players killed each other
>Sauron and the balrog are basically the last vestiges of the original evil
>Sauron even models all his stuff after Morgoth's fortresses
>there's an entire other continent full of demigods that could squash Sauron if they just felt like it
>to top it off, God exists

Sometimes I wish I hadn't read Silmarillion, because LotR feels so damn small now.

It makes the world in LOTR a post-apocalyptic wasteland where everybody is fighting over the scraps. That's pretty awesome to me.