Disney gives you a blank check to remake the Star Wars prequels. How do you handle the story?

Disney gives you a blank check to remake the Star Wars prequels. How do you handle the story?

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Make Darth Jar Jar canon

I spend all the money for filming 10 minutes of clips and hyping all the world with agressive marketing.
on the premiere day I bomb and gas all the theaters and get rid of all those smelly manchildren once and for all

Poo in it

Jar Jar is a black guy wearing a Gungan hat.

...

Juice?

vader joined the dark side after he caught his wife in bed with a black guy. she didn't die at child birth.

glorious

Actually show Anakin and Obi Wan's friendship instead of just telling people about it.

THIS

That shit was cringeworthy, embarrassing as fuck, and a final nail in the RLM meme coffin

>rehire the original cast
>don't directly contradict the actual prequels, but write stories that ignore the small bits of bullshit and focus on the more interesting aspects
>ep1 - about a young (~13/14 yr old) Anakin and the methods of the jedi council
>ep2 - A Clone Wars movie, actually about space wars and political manipulation
>ep3 - Retells the last third of the original ep3 but mostly from a different persepctive, and then beyond showing a young Luke and Leia growing up and a hermit Obi Wan

>make Darth Jar Jar canon (and potentially have Obi Wan kill him at the very end of ep3)
>retcon Maul surviving
>>make Clone Wars (the cartoon, not cgi show) canon
>explore more planets

Make the empire a black supremacy organization

Great idea, but do you think you could make the black guy Lando for the nostalgia factor?

>triggered manchild

lando gets hanged from a tree

I'd have Maul be the Vader of the prequels, and a constant threat throughout the 3 films, instead of Naboo they're on Tatooine doing some shit to get Obi his Knight status, encounter Anakin play it out similar to the first film. He Maims qui-gon instead of killing him in the first (same duel of the fates except he escapes) and now legless becomes a more spiritual teacher to both while Obiwan does the physical training of Anakin in the 2nd and 3rd film.

Anakin is closer in age to Obiwan and they have a bit of a rivalry, Obiwan jealous HIS master is teaching someone else but tries to temper it. Second film is basically the two of them as a team doing shenanigans and the Obiwan plot from Clones but together, replace padme with obi where applicable (conveyer belt), add anakin where applicable (cloning facility), keep things fairly similar but build more of a relationship between the two over the second film.

Third film practically the same, only it starts with attack on Jedi temple and Quigon being killed, this time Anakin is angery as fuck, turns out Palpatine has been planning / grooming Obiwan but instead finds Anakin a more appealing target. Replace greivous with maul. Play it out normally.

Basically just have a consistent villain throughout all 3 and build more of the relationship between Obi/Anakin with Obiwan feeling guilty for failing to live up to Quigons expectations and training Obiwan right because he was a petulant little shit feeling jealous he had to share his master.

DEBATE ME FAGGOTS.

Clones are not just stormtroopers with no personalities. They're wild superhumans who are set onto planets like a scourge. Real Uruk-hai shit. They eventually become too much to handle, so the clone program is halted. But by that point the Empire has annexed enough of the galaxy to recruit soldiers to keep it all under control.

>...training Anakin* right because...

If you get someone at the edge of adolescence you can have a Harry Potter effect where he ages along with the story. Should balance out all the grimness of the later ep's.

i would literally refuse. the prequels are absolutely perfect, only thing id do is make them longer or add another one

I wouldn't change a thing in terms of story but I'd pay to have Irvin Keshner brought back from the dead and have him direct the them. Then I'd take whatever money was left over, and pay someone to travel the world and kill those that would want to expand the series beyond six movies.

Episode one
>start with horrifying scene of sand people slaughtering a town
>little boy Anikan is watches his mother get slaughtered
>freaks out and his uncontrollable force powers fuck up the sand people
>near by Qui Gon Jin and Obi Wan who were studying some Jedi monk mission feel the presence of the force and take him under their wing
>far away far away this presence is also felt by the Sith Lord who ransacks planet after planet to find him
>Jedi council all sense darkness in Anikan but take him in so that he can be lead away from a life of anger and hatred (treat him like he's a possible school shooter)
>republic army learn The Sith is slaughtering planets looking for Anikan so the Republic reach out to the Jedis as a way to combat the sith with the knowledge of the force
>after things escalate and the Sith track down Anikan, Qui Gon and Obi flee with Anikan but are followed by Maul
>Maul kills Qui Gon and brings Obi to his knees and then turns on Anikan trying to persuade him to unleash he true power via the way of the dark side
>starts talking shit about how he let his mum die
>Anikans PTSD is triggered and spergs out, Maul tempts him more and more telling him to embrace the anger
>Obi Wan kills Maul while maul is distracted
>comforts Anikan and brings him back safely to the Jedi temple

remove maul, remove owinghanshit...remove anakin kid.

jedis are not the republic's mercenaries, but a secretive religious order that wanted an "balance" in the galaxy, anakin wants to join because hated his farmer loser live, and cuz was poor.

He excel in jedi bullshit etc...meet obi, a son of an aristocracy family doing jedi bullshit too.

The clone wars are actually a huge clone rebellion against the republic, Anakin sides with them breaking his friendship with obi.

Go on user...complete the story...

>contrarian edgelord

>Anikan

Never make a Star Wars movie.

Make Obi-Wan the sole MC of the prequels.
Make the first scene Yoda who gives him his title of jedi Knight. Jedis are mysterious and few.
He takes Anakin as a young padawan.
No midichlorian, palme, or other bullshit.
Anakin infringes on his duties to fight a sith with his master, Yoda disapproves, friendship ensues.
In film 2 Anakin is already gone to the dark side.
Film 3 is saving Anakin's wife. They manage. She is pregnant, he didn't know. He risks his position as the new Emperor's right-hand man to retrieve her. Gets mauled on Mustafar, no high ground bullshit.

Trilogies over arcing theme is about failed farther figures

>Qui gon failed Obi
>Obi failed Anakin
>Anakin failed luke

Other changes include
>Trade fed doesn't use droids and instead initially hire mercenary's
>Darth maul survives and becomes Obi's nemesis and also replaces Jango in ep2
>Clone are created and used by the trade fed so they don't have to rely on mercenaries
>Sheev uses their existence to create an unified army of the republic made up of normal soldiers contributed from member planets.
>The republics army goes being a un style peace keeping force in ep1, to a NATO style organization in ep 2 to a singular unified body under Sheev's command in ep3
>Anakin is now a teenager and stays on Coruscant after meeting the jedi council in ep 1
>jedi act more like spies who try to influence things from shadows and only a few people in the republic now of their existence
>no midichlorians Jedi can just sense whether or not someone is strong in the force
>No R2 or 3PO
>padma doesn't die and just goes into hiding with her daughter
>Show Anakin and obi actually be friends

The word "Anikan" is one of the oldest Prequel memes, son. Even faggots from f/starwars would know this.

>Episode 1
Picks up in media res with obi wan and anakin already being jedis. Takes place in the opening of the clone wars, which are now cool and not just a bunch of nameless clones vs nameless droids.

>Episode 2
Basically a better version of what RotS was supposed to be. Movie ends with Anakin being seduced to the dark side and becoming Vader. But he's not put in the robot suit yet. Most of the Jedi are killed when Sheev takes over and forms the empire

>Episode 3
Movie centers around Obi Wan's attempt to find Anakin and bring him back to the light side. Doesn't work out. Anakin gets put in robot suit, etc.

A lot of these plot points are the same as in the actual prequel trilogy, just spaced out differently. The real episode 1 was a waste of time, and there was no need seeing little boy anakin. Just have him already start out as a Jedi knight. And a lot of the key events we knew would take place in the prequels were all crammed into the 3rd act of Ep3 for no reason. There was like a 20 minute section of time where the republic became the empire, anakin became vader, sheev took over, all the jedi died, and vader was turned into a cyborg. That stuff should've been properly spaced out, and there should've been more than a single day between anakin becoming evil and being put in the suit.

The more important question....

>Who do you cast as Anakin

Episode two
>Obi and Anikan shenanigans
>Anikan has a very aggressive fighting style and Obi has started to notice worryingly
>Sith are at it again, super thirsty for Anikans force dick
>set up a false mission for the Jedis that test Anikan and push him to his mental limit
>dude goes full spergy after another PTSD session blaming some innocents and Obi has to stop him but fails
>Obi calls for Jedi Monk back up to stop Anikan from killing innocent people in a blind rage
>bad ass Jedi fight as final conflict
>Anikan is subdued by the Jedis and it's making him go turbo tard because he can't escape and thinks the Jedis are belittling him and shit
>Sith and apprentice come down and fuck up a few Jedis to help Anikan
>more of a bad ass fight that leaves Obi Wan heart broken
>Siths leave Obi alive to send a message to Jedi Temple that they run this shit
>movie ends with Anikan being taken in by Siths

>over arcing theme is about failed farther figures

F-FFF-FUND THIS

I would remake it just made one movie about the 501s legion from their creation to their death in the first Death Star by the actions of Luke Sky-walker the literal nazi

Well, anyways, later jedis find that hes a character from a jedi's prophecy, so they wanted him to become a king or something and to be the "great jedi master"...or some bullshit, then in his traveling as jedi pdawan, instructed by a jedi master (not obi) he met padme a princess from a magic world...you know, everybody was happy, but then he finds all the jedi plans, and he just wanted a normal live, as jedi adventurer, then the conflict starts, and he meet the dark jedi sect.

Matt Lanter

Hayden would of been 16/17 during the production of ep1 which works well with my now teenage Anakin.

Have Leia and Luke's mom/Anakin's wife actually do something. Padme's active moments doesn't correlate with any of her character traits because she's a blank slate.

Have her be the political side of things, the diplomatic approach while Obi Wan is a swashbuckling kind of swordsman and Anakin is the loose-cannon. Have them be a trio that becomes super close during the war so when Anakin is eventually seduced to the dark side it feels all the more tragic.

Then he become paranoid and while the relationship with padme was arranged by the jedis and the republic, neither Anakin or Padme wer aware about it, she really loved him, but he didn't trust her, ending hating her, so he followed the dark side.

Sebastian Stan while you can.

can disney hire you to remake the prequels

I like the idea of Anakin having complete force capabilities but its unrefined and dangerous. Too powerful for him. Makes more sense that he wouldn't be doing crazy force shit as Vader because he's literally half the man he used to be.

Underrated

I would keep the original prequels canon because I think they are pretty solid in terms of world building.

Instead I would spend the money on retelling of each of the movies from the perspective of different characters. They would be structured in a way that would make it possible to watch one of the new movies in place of the corresponding prequel, if you so chose to.

Episode I would be from the perspective of Maul, actually making him more of a character as he is in The Clone Wars. Even go past the scene where he dies in Episode I and show how he survived and got to the planet he is found on during TCW

Episode II I don't have many ideas for honestly. Maybe give it to Dooku or the Geonocians? Not a lot intersting happens in 2 so this one would be a bit tricky

Episode III would obviously follow Ahsoka Tano. She doesn't canonically find out Anakins fate until during the Galactic Civil War, but its worth noting that the final time they are together is RIGHT before the battle of Geonosis. This could be tied into the Maul movie too since she and him have confrontation during this time in her canon novel. Get it directed by Filoni and cast someone cute as Ahsoka.

Hire this man.

That's one of my supergoals as a filmmaker desu. If something as stale as Rouge One can get made my prequel trilogy has a damn good chance.

This is a brilliant idea, user. Disney should do it. BTW, remind me who's playing young Han?

Fuck dude, I don't think your Maul idea can work as a mainline film but an in-between "A Star Wars Story" following nothing but Sith gets me rock hard.

None of them are supposed to be mainline films, but instead they are "Star Wars Story" films that can be watched in place of the prequels. I don't think I made that very clear.

Also, thanks! I have had these ideas for a while actually

No idea man. I try to go in to star wars stuff as cold as I can. I'd be interested to see if they use some CGI to adjust his face to look like Ford's. Not doing a full-on Tarkin, just like JGL in Looper but with CGI instead of practicals.

TIME TRAVEL
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Let's face it. Disney are going to introduce it at some point. It's inevitable.

Could follow Jango and Boba for Ep II.

Was there any real reason anakin needed to be shown as a child? Just so george could ham up the virgin birth shit? If he's too old for the training at 9, he's too old at 19, but then we could have avoided the annoying kid actor, and TPM not having a real main character

Can someone explain the point of slavery in a universe where droids exist? I can't imagine anything but sex slaves being economically viable. Did Watto fuck Anakin?

I'd bump anakin to 18 in the first film and make him a parallel to obi wan. Then you just go for a whole cain and abel parable. Anakin is gifted but takes short cuts because he isn't challenged leading to the contempt of the council etc; which opens up palpatine as a source of validation and drive for the turn to the dark side.

That would be cool, but I think it would be too expensive to adjust all scenes of the main character in a han Solo stand alone movie

make them exactly the same because they are perfect.

I would probably just add more CGI

>first film is basically a space western to paint the lawless galaxy under the republic, Obi Wan is focus, he's a clint eastwood type
>finds Anakin, an Eli in MGSV type, surviving on Tatooine off his own wits
>force is strong
>takes him under his wing
>Jedi order is pretty much a religious cult at this point and Obi Wan doesn't believe anymore
later...
>clones are now the enemies, monstrous ork like race that ravage etc outer rim
>Jedi are now used as commando types, not foot soldiers, basically where Obi Wan got his sneaking mission skills from not he death star
>war doesn't kick in until third film, where it's a gritty nihilistic fight
>emperor plot line still happens
>it's revealed that the emperor created the clones as a boogeyman to unite the galaxy against a common threat like Reagan's speech about alien war

It would make you question if the rebels were actually the good guys, seeing as they want to disrupt the relative peace and order the Empire bought to a lawless galaxy, and also the intent of Palpatine, who is no longer just an evil monster man.

also Darth Jar jar would have been great given enough time to flesh out fully.

Good one. I change my answer to this

I think Lucas also wanted to appeal to kids. Which is dumb, since the OT has no child characters in it. Starting off with Anakin and Obiwan as 18-20 yr olds and seeing them during the war grow into the men they'll end up being (Obi Wan from youthful and idealistic to being old-minded and detached, Anakin from emotionally stunted and lonely to letting himself become the monster people are pushing him to be)

Episode Three
>republic and Jedis join up once more to fight off invading Sith forces
>meanwhile Anikan and apprentice(female) are being sent on covert missions to kill public figures and destroy Recon out points and shit
>banter between missions ends up being flirting and low and behold they fuck
>it's clear the Sith prefers Anikan and it causes friction as he tries to pressure him to push her out
>in the end the Siths conquest leads them to try to take over the Jedi temple
>big ass fight
>character confrontations between Obi and Anikan
>Nearing the end of the battle when the Surh have clearly designated the Jedis the apprentice sees this as her perfect time to strike down the Sirh lord so that Anikan and her can be together and rule as a couple
>Anikan, too loyal to Sith stops her and Spergs out on her, drivImg her to flee for her life
>Sith take rule and form the empire
>some Jedis such as Obi and Yoda flee to scattered planets
>Apprentice is wounded and finds solitude among some people on that desert planet who take pity on her
>while the kind people treat her wounds trey also take note she is pregnant, she demands they must take the baby from her when he is born, that he must never follow the dark path she or his father took upon

half-baked idea from Lucas that he scribbled onto a notepad

The PT should be about Obi and him attempting to and ultimately failing Anakin. You can easily fix the TPM problem of not have a main character just by having Obi get of the damn ship and hang out with Qui Gon and Padma instead of jar jar.

Obiwan bangs Padme in secret. Question of who the father of Luke and Leia is unknown. Keeps hanging around Luke because he can't shake the feeling it's his kid.

Have Qui-Gon go to the bank and change his credits for local currency

droids are expensive but can be built by slaves from spare parts just laying around

I'm really into the whole Order (Empire) vs Free Will (Rebels/Jedi) idea. There could be an intrinsic hypocrisy in the Jedi's ways (like there is with Tibetan monks) that they want balance but that requires suppressing the will of others. The question of peace's obtainability could be the undercurrent for the entire galactic conflict. It wouldn't be on the surface but it can run under all the events so you can see it if you look for it and it would give the whole series a deeper meaning.

>How would you do it

>I would have a move about space wars and political manipulation

Yes....but how, what would you change other than, id make it better

Idris elba

Fuck, that's some sleazy shit but it works. He wants to have a son but is afraid of getting too close.

That sounds terrible

Do they fuck?

Can they be R-Rated? Have part of Anakin's seduction by the dark side be him traveling to various strip clubs on Coruscant.

literally get a better actor than hayden and get rid of/change jar jar and do the darth jar jar like the fp said. Otherwise it was good.

>I am your mothers husband
Doesn't have the same weight does it?

Like, do you want specific details? It'd take a while to write out

Ep1 would focus on Anakin's training. Obi-Wan would be his mentor in the background. But in the foreground, Anakin is trying, and struggling, to deal with the discipline that's expected from the order
On top of that, he's isolated because he's naturally very powerful so the other padawans shun him. But everytime there's combat-training, he kicks all their butts easily
And I guess I'd imagine there'd be some cool scenes where Anakin is surrounded by like 6/7 padawans, and they're all using poles instead of lightsabers and Anakin wrecks all their shit
There'd be another padawan, who's like 18/19 who's the most promising in the order. And he's like Anakin's equal. But he's growing ever-more insecure because he's been training everyday since he was born basically whereas Anakin is still relatively new and a few years younger. So when Anakin does beat him in a fight, he suddenly becomes enraged with anger and turns evil and then attempts to assassinate Anakin and wounds him gravely and then kills some fully-trained Jedi that try to subdue him. (Maybe Dooku manipulates him?)
Anakin recovers, just about, and is incredibly upset and wants revenge. The council says no but Obi-Wan sneaks him under the guise of a diplomatic mission (which happens to be where the rogue Jedi is) and they travel there together whereupon the rogue has become more powerful by embracing the dark side.
Obi-Wan allows Anakin to fight the battle and Anakin nearly loses and almost succumbs to the darkside himself to win, but Obi-Wan's guidance keeps him straight and he focuses and wins.

The council discovers what happened and decide to graduate Anakin early as there is no physical training or force training left for Anakin to master, only the discipline - which they entrust Obi-Wan with.
Something like that. If anyone's interested, I'll write about my ep2 and 3, but one can probably guess how it'd go

Not him, but I guess write it in such a way that Anakin never considers Luke might not be his?

Now image the "he was a good friend" quote taken in that context.

>Obi Wan is a swashbuckling kind of swordsman

fund this

chuck the whole prequel ideal and delve into the extended universe. the skywalker theme has been beaten to death, I'd do something with darth bane

make padme cuck anakin with obi and use that to explain why anakin became evil

...

>smelly manchildren
They're no longer the target audience. You'd just be gassing families and nu-male redditors.

Nu-males are manchildren as well though user

I'd dismantle the whole dichotomy of good vs evil so the character have more dimensionality. Instead of goodness we have compassion, empathy, and love. Instead of evil we have arrogance, anger, and emotional unavailability. Anakin's fall to the dark side should be almost understandable instead of him being irreversibly duped by Palpatine to think all the Jedi are evil. and the Sith take advantage of that.

>OMFG I'm so above this childish shit and a true fan of cinema and art and...

No you're not, you lying sack of shit RLM wannabe faggot.

I always thought it was weird he didn't blame the council for his mothers death in the movies, I assumed that's where that was going after AOTC

>Sith create their own moral system to fit their self-serving nature
>ends up being self-destructive and they become slaves to their own egotism

>ends up being self-destructive and they become slaves to their own egotism

They become George Lucas?

Poetry

The abyss gazes also into you.

Fuck remaking the prequals. I'll make a three and a half hour flick based on tge empire's side of one of those huge battles. Lots of explosion and lots of action.

>rich always plays a construction worker because he was once a construction worker

deepest lore

BAIN?

The premise is as follows:
A political delegation is doin' some political shit on a planet. Trade-related, obviously. But that's the extent of the political mumbo jumbo. If you're recall, there is Political Talk in A New Hope, when one guy says to the other guy, "We're gettin' rid of that Senate shit," but that's literally it. One gut says to the other guy that it's switching from a democratic facade to the military dictatorship it already was.

So, here's the story: Ten or twenty or thirty political wranglers have gone to a conference or a meeting, or something, in a disputed territory, and they have with them two Jedi, acting as knights. Weird, right, how Knights and Samurai were just Private Military Contractor? Well, that's what they are, here. One of these Jedi is a skilled pilot. GUESS WHO THAT IS. The other is Obiwan. Their job, on this mission is the stand near the politicians and protect them from terrorism; Anywhere from 10 to 30 dignitaries is a juicy target.

So, as an introduction to the villains and their machinations, we are witness to the master stroke of their plan. FUCKING BOMBING THE WHOLE departing delegation. This is a sly reference to Franz Ferdinand, only, obviously, we want explosions and not a dopy idiot with a pop-gun. So, the whole delegation is dead! This will finally be the thing we need to get this Galaxy-spanning war going...

Wait, two delegates and those two Jedi survived! How? Harrowing, that's how.

Most of the rest of the movie is a kind of frantic chase as the two surviving delegates are ferried back to Croissant, under the protection of two buddy-cop knights, being chased by two evil evil guys, who are probably Sith Lords.

The end is set on Tatooine, because that's where Annie is from, it is on the way, it is familiar territory for him, he's got a brother there, and they need a place to lay low/regroup.

They don't beat the assassination-news home and the war picks up real-style in the second one.

The biggest problem with the prequels is you know how it's going to end. You cannot overcome this with remakes. We already know a lot of plot details too and now we would know even more (were they to be remade).

George's prequels are fine. They are well-made but the problem is the dialogue is shit. People crap on the LRM talking points but many of those are just made up opinionated hyperbole. People who've never seen Star Wars before and watch the prequels first don't seem to mind them. It's mostly classic trilogy fans in their late 30s to late 40s that hate them.

What I would like to see is a high quality HD surround sound fan edit. The films are much better with just minor edits removing a lot of the cringe

why you post those ideas? they will be never done, lel

Not prequel stuff, but Max Landis wrote a TFA thing: maxlandiswrites.com/the-force-awakens/

I think it reads like half-baked pleb-pleasing garbage but hey, what do I know.