Why was BIGGiE smalls in harry potter?

why was BIGGiE smalls in harry potter?

Ayyoo he wuz trying rap out o' one o' da dullest franchise in da history o' movie franchises. Seriously each episode following da boy wizard an' his pals from Hogwarts Academy as dey fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from da others. Aside from da gloomy imagery, da series’ only consistency has been its lack o' excitement an' ineffective use o' special effects, all ta make magic unmagical, ta make action seem inert.

Perhaps da die wuz cast when Rowling vetoed da idea o' Spielberg directing da series; she made sho da series would never be mistaken fo' uh werk o' art dat meant anythin` ta anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion fo' her books. da Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly da anti-James Bond series in its refusal o' wonder, beauty an' excitement. nahh one wants ta face dat fact. Now, thankfully, dey nahh longer gots ta.

>uh-at least da books wuz pimp-tight though
"nahh!"
da writing iz dreadful; da book wuz terrible. As ah read, ah noticed dat every tyme uh character go fo' uh walk, da author wrote instead dat da character "stretched his legs."

ah began marking on da back o' an envelope every tyme dat phrase wuz repeated. ah stopped only afta ah had marked da envelope several dozen times. ah wuz incredulous. Rowling's mind iz so governed by cliches an' dead metaphors dat she has nahh other style o' writing. Later ah read uh lavish, loving review o' Harry Potter by da same Stephen King. He wrote somethin` ta da effect o', "If deez kids is reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when dey git older dey will go on ta read Stephen King." an' he wuz quite right. He wuz not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you be, in fact, trained ta read Stephen King all ye damn hood ratz..

>it's a Harry Potter thread so dead that the copypasta is the first post

it was all a meme
I used to read quibbler magazine
fred, george and me up in the quidditch team
moving pictures on my wall
seems like everyday, snake attack, sleeping in the great hall
way back, when I had the red and gold robe and a hat
with a snitch to catch
remember second year, the flying car
whoever thought that two kids would take it that far
now I'm in the wand-light, that lumos tight
time to be afraid, making potion with some nightshade
born wizzer, opposite of a squibba
bertie bott's every flavour beans for dinner
peace to weasleys, seamus, hermoine
still wearing specs, still fucking ginny
still winning cups like you thought I would
same wand, phoenix feather holly wood
it's all good

America needed a token character they could identify with

Out of the entire catalog this thread was the only one worth opening, good job

wew lad

>Getting this kid to say the line "Black could be anywhere"

The Harry Potter writers are banterlords

Singing this out loud is perfect

Why wasn't this Idris Elba? He would've been perfect for this part

WE

WUZ

WIZOWDZ

N SHEEEIT

>Magic time watch exists
>Don't use it to stop Voldemort killing people
>Voldemort doesn't think of buying one himself either
>Instead give it to a 14 year old girl so she can go back in time to take extra classes

That's the entire point, its almost british humour to give it to hermione, a school nerd, but she did deserve it. They only work 5-6 hours
>dont use it to stop x
>dont use to it kill x
They dont work like that you cant change the past with the one she has, its a closed loop. buckbeak never dies. we see events happen twice from different perspectives. it all happens simultaneously in the past present and future depending on your point of view

Did Kloves tribute Raimi with his scripts?

that's dope

Because black can be anywhere.

Straight fire, senpai.

soooo...

Harry and Hermione could've gone back and told each other where the horcruxes are and how to destroy them right?

no wait i don't think it would've worked out that way since they would've interrupted themselves in the past, thus preventing them from even knowing about that information. and then that means that the future versions of them would've at least either disappeared, or would've been stuck inside some sort of time vortex that they wouldn't escape from. so they wouldn't even exist in the future right?

but then if they didn't know about that they wouldn't even have gone back in the past from the future timeline they are from.

so then that means that the timeline from the future never existed and things would proceed to normal right? or does time travel work differently?

is this the full power of autism?

...

>mfw when I first saw this pasta

there are no alternate timelines he has no idea what hes taking about nor do you
see

is this a fresh new pasta?

>Smokus Pocus