How does it feel being caught?

How does it feel being caught?

wouldn't know. i make my GF bring her huge purse that can hold a 3 course dinner for two!

they don't care

I usually walk into the theater like this

I only got caught once and it was because I forgot to even hide my shit. I said "ok I'll go put it back in my car" in such a tone of voice that the dude knew I was lying. I walked out, came waited a minute and came back in with my shit properly stowed and gave the guy a condescending little nod as I walked past.

In retrospect I was being a bit of a shit to that poor guy.

Expected. It was part of my plan, after all.

Never gotten caught. Some friends and I once smuggled a bucket of chicken from KFC.

>eating in a kinotheater
How does it feel to be an uncultured profligate?

I never have been caught I once snuck in a thing of lasagna

Why do people do this? Do they go to some poorfag theater where the buffet runs out of food halfway through?

I had brought a pack of Twizzlers I forgot to hide. Dude forced me to put it in my car. Went to put it back, bought a big tub of popcorn, and spent the movie breaking up the popcorn and dropping it on the floor.

>not bringing your Subway™ Mobility Scooter.

Get on my level.

good man

ruthless

well congratulations! you got caught! what's the next step in your master plan?

wait... what did you do with the bones and greasy bucket?

this, just my mom instead

Looks like an aqua teen screenshot from the thumbnail

I go to Cici's pizza buffet and stuff as much pizza into my trench coat's pockets.
I usually get about enough slices for about two full pizzas.
I sneak the pizza in the coat as I enter the theater.
I never get caught.
So I get to eat a buffet during the movie.

I Like to sneak in a couple burgers

they probably just dont want to pay the napkin fee

I will buy a small pizza pizza box full of candy and booze, since there is one inside the theater and there is a machine to sell tickets that one kid who is ripping tickets doesn't have a chance to stop me
fuck I could even bring in my own pizza if I was really hungry

>go to Costco
>get fuckloads of microwave popcorn for $5
>die of eating too much salt
>watch anything I want in the comfort of my own home

throw it on the floor of course.

I realized I didn't have pockets and was wearing a t shirt one time I went, but I had like 6 Nerd ropes, but fortunately I just kept them in my ass until the trailers were over.

The parents next to me were escorting their kids out even though I was removing them subtly and with minimal groaning though. Fucking normies

good enough

just had high hopes for stuffing bones between the seats and cup holders

but good enough

>I never have been caught I once snuck in a thing of lasagna
What kind of thing

>not lining your pockets with Ziploc baggies filled with homemade spaghetti

What could possibly go wrong?

>Jogging over to the theater last week
>Unsure what time the movie started
>Sneak in my spaghetti bags like normal
>This qt usher girl stops me and asks me to leave the theater because she sees my food, and as I'm running out I trip over my cape and spaghetti goes flying everywhere

What I said next is the first letter of each line

Tuberware

fuck I wish I had thought of that

I ended up buying 5 tickets taking trips to smuggle them out in my pants like andy from shawshank redemption

that's actually a good idea, might try that next time

I'm fucking wheezing.

In all honesty, the only time I've been caught was during the credits of Episode 7. I had snuck in a can of Coke (I like to *KTSSST* open it in a quiet moment during the opening, preferably when it's totally silent and the screen is black. It usually gets some good chuckles), and as I always stay until after the credits, was finishing off the last sip. One of the guards (still in high school) saw me and in no uncertain terms told me I had to throw it away and leave the premises, or he was going to call security. Good for him, he was just doing his job. Only time I've been caught, and I always sneak food and drinks in.

well played sir, well played.

I've snuck in taco Bell before

...

JUST

Kudos. Spaghetti posting will never die.

Where I'm from, while they will search your bag, they only care about substances and products they sell. Other foodstuffs, not a problem.

Not even meming, I snuck an XL donair into the movies once in my hoodie pocket. I paid dearly for it though, as I discovered during the trailers that a shitton of the sweet sauce had leaked out. It looked like I came in my pants, my friend could not stop laughing.

I steal sausage rolls from the grocery store all the time. They're shit, but everything tastes better when it's free.

is this postkino?

I forgot this was a Sup Forums related thread... I also smuggle shit to theatres all the time. I've never actually carried in anything in my arms or whatever, I usually have a backpack. Far as I know nobody has ever given a shit at the theatres I frequent.

>. I had snuck in a can of Coke (I like to *KTSSST* open it in a quiet moment during the opening, preferably when it's totally silent and the screen is black. It usually gets some good chuckles)
user, I do that too, the first time was at a screening of Hideaway back in 1995

>rogue one release night
>smuggled in pizzahut extra large, double sausage, extra cheese, stuffed crust pizza
>a 2nd large pizza with the same toppings as above folded into itself because I miss the P'zone so bad and this is as close as i can get now
>2, 2 liters of pepsi
>finish all by the end of movie
>leave all my garbage on the floor and on surrounding seats
>take a massive greasy pizza shit in my pants use hands to scoop/wipe it out
>wipe excess feces from hands on the seat
>go cleap up in the kino shower room

A backpack at the theater? Everybody must be eyeballing the shit out of you the whole movie.

>Cici's pizza
Enjoy the complimentary diarrhea.

Me and some friends snuck in some 2L bottles of cola and a bunch of liquor to mix drinks in the theater last week. We didnt get caught but we had a lot left over.

>napkins
That's what the seat's upholstery is for, ya dummy

>because I miss the P'zone so bad and this is as close as i can get now
user stop being a meme loving faggot and order a calzone or stromboli from literally any other pizza joint in the universe.

i use to have my gf sneak 40's in her purse when we were in high school.

Only on singles day.

>tfw got banned for using my portable microwave to make popcorn for the whole theatre

they loved it, i was a hero until the usher ruined the party

Although the smell may be a bit strong, I love snacking on a can of anchovies while watching a movie

I bring a decoy food that is kept in my underwear so when the penis inspection happens, they only find the decoy stuff.

I have my gf sneak in Big Black candy bars

I tuck mine into my pants so the white girls think I got a foot long bbc

>crabs legs
>anvil
>singles policy
>designated shitting aisle
>theatre sniper
>falcon
>$40 popcorn
>low blood sugar
>penis inspection
>explosive diarrhea
>theatre showers
>i cant believe its not butter starts playing
>cute gril
>theatre shootings policy

there i saved us 42 posts

5 bucks for all you can eat, it's worth it.

I usually buy a bottle of water and a small popcorn with no butter. I only go to my small 2 screen theater on $4 ticket Tuesdays and I like supporting them because they're only a block away.

BBC?

Is that you reddit shitposters keep talking about?

Memes aside, the theatres here have pizza places in them that let you order and take the pizza into the auditorium, use to be pizza hut but now I think its some other one

...

You forgot the cinema vipers user.

I've never been caught
I've snuck in probably hundreds of lobsters
My hawk usually fends off the theater men

HOW DO YOU GUYS GET YOUR FOOD PAST THE SHOWERS THOUGH?!?

>mfw someone stopped James Holmes from bringing in a bag of twizzlers and he decided to crash the theatre with no survivors

I wouldn't know. My fucking falcon always narcs on me before we reach the showers.

Put it in my locker with my clothes. Legally they can't search the lockers.

I used to hang out with some guys who would smuggle their bong into the theater and light it up during the movie.

See I don't know how you lying faggots think you're fooling us when we all know you have to pass a full body inspection

>not just eating a small snack prior to the film and then going out to dinner afterwards to talk about the movie or shoot the shit

Every single time I hear a candy wrapper, popcorn bucket, or some degenerate troglodyte sucking the last bit of diabetes juice from the bottom of their drink I remember why people used to get crucified.

JUSTtrf??????/????
stop making up words.

needs fat GiS scarjo in there somewhere

People at my local theater don't give two shits. My ex and I walked in with philly cheese steak and they didn't care. My current gf had food stored in her purse they did a bag check and saw it but still let us go to our seats.

Is the no outside food rule actually enforced in lard land?

in ausland its a rule but they couldnt give a fuck, everyone including employees agree cinema prices are fucked.

Always just raid the closest supermarket complex for lollies and fastfood then walk in

Thank you for creating jobs and helping this economy!

>tfw I get caught sneaking in my Bane plushie
Fucking hate theaters

I fucking love you guys.

throw a schrimp on the barbie before your kino and just walk in? fuck it, im going to move to perth

Just fake a really loud sneeze when you open up the tab on your soda can

>his kinodrome doesn't provide falcons

>his flickshop doesn't have sound-dampening technology and a designated sniper to shoot the decibel limit offenders

>his screenshed doesn't feature a pond for catching fresh fish along with a $1 fish cleaning old man service

>his cinecave doesn't have BYOMO (bring your own microwave oven) Thursdays

>his theater tent doesn't provide an official Big Guy™ for you upon passing penis inspection

Where do you idiots live, pleb city?!?

Never been caught, always keep the snacks in my gfs purse.

Why are you going to the movies without your qt gf?

they probably dont care as long as its not a gun
I wouldnt know I haven't been to a theater since the 90s

>In retrospect I was being a bit of a shit to that poor guy.
i cant imagine him caring at all
he did what he was supposed to. You stopped existing the second you walked past him

Where do you buy dakimakuras with pockets?

I do this but I bring a 12 pack of beer in

god y'all are so pathetic, hope one day you guys get laid to help release the pressure the tumor in your head is causing you.

>tfw you buy the largest bucket of popcorn and spill 3/4ths of it to create jobs for the wagecucks

This. I've had many theatre workers check the girls purses and see our snacks. They didn't care.

enjoy your shitty internet

i just denied it, since i hadn't been able to actually take the cd-rom i wanted. they didn't buy any of my bullshit.

only went there again once, many years later, but up to this day still feel ashamed when i pass nearby.

thread is about sneaking food at theaters?

forget what i said, filthy scumbags

utter humiliation. I remember when I was in grade school I used to pore over those EGM2 mags or something that had a free booklet or guides in them. the usual thing was the magazines were already opened and people would just read at the corner and never buy it. so one time i opened the magazine and the store owner walked up to me and said what do you think you're doing? I was sweating hard and I was close to crying, I said I'm sorry and he just warned me not to do it again. sorry for the blog

unless you're a skinny fuck with bulging pockets they won't care
i wear cargo pants so my friends always give me their snacks to cram in there
unless you live in a high crime area like the heart of a major city they probably won't give a shit
i went to the first showing of rogue one and there were cops in the theater and i had candy in both my pockets and they didn't give a shit

I've been sneaking food and drink into movie theaters for twenty years, in urban and small-town milleus. I cannot recall a single solitary instance when a worker "inspected" our shit, etc.

Just the other day I went and watched R1 by myself(!), another miracle, and I was in the general room and everything. Some dumb bitch to my left cracked a can when it was dead quiet in the room, not understanding the propriety about these things. But they didn't even bother her. Oddly, for this matinee, the manager briefly introduced himself, so I even thought there might have been some sort of "enforcement".

But what? You're a paying customer sitting nicely and unobtrusively in the room. I imagine that this goes through the employee's mind.

I suddenly remember years ago going to see Kill Bill 2 with a bunch of gay friends and having a gay old time, I slammed back a tallboy in the mall and out we went.

>not going to see enough movies at your local cinema that all of the staff know you and don't give a shit if you walk in with a snack or soda in plain sight
Plebs.

I use a loofa with a hollowed out handle, that way when it's in the shower the food stays dry

Holy fucking kek

>You stopped existing the second you walked past him
cute when you pretend that people aren't petty etc. he was probably thinking of that faggots face until after the movie was through.

>What I said next is the first letter of each line
You ruined it asshole.