Is he a fraud?

Is he a fraud?

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You mean is his CIA stories all lies? How dare you question him.

What is the fourth one even about?

his patented hand switch technique

He and Donald Trump will probably get along well

Does anyone have the track list of his album?

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youtube.com/watch?v=yxloUBCYuFM

Far from it

lel, thanks user

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wtf im laughing now

why is he wearing that ridiculous wig though

It's the source of his powers

I like how he started wearing those autismal trench coats to hide his extra chins

EASY

>questioning Seagals 100% natural spray-on hair
fuck outta here

big boy's wear big clothes

>the actual songs
>Alligator Asshole
>BBQ
>Talk To My Ass
>Dust My Broom
>She Dat Pretty

my sides

Anybody seen Richie?

>listen to the album
>it's actually pretty chill

>“I came up in Detroit and there was a lot of blues. I didn’t learn blues from a fucking record; I learned it from the front porch. There were all these people from Mississippi, Louisiana and Texas and I learned from them.”

>“Little Milton hadn’t heard me play before. I was doing this Lightnin’ Hopkins thing. Milton looked at me and nodded, like he was trying to say, “This mutha ain’t white.”

Literally /ourguy/

>Ballad of Bobby Lupo
>with richie

kek

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Seagal is a god in Serbia

How do I become a punani magnet?

>DA FUCK YOU DOING IN MAH PLACE?

youtube.com/watch?v=RUjPz7BKjlM

how long would it take to watch all of his movies in a row? I'm planning a party

Have you ever been entertained by one of his movies?
>Yes
Then no.
>No
Then what are you, some sort of faggot?

>crossfade
>but it's not over
Jesus mayne, stop playing with muh boner like that.

Didn't he always perform his own stunts until he got sick?

he's just a weeaboo except nobody told him how shitty he is

>ironically praise garbage movies
>le so bad it's good
>just get some bros and a few brewskies and watch it after Sharknado V xD
Seagul flicks are literally räddit

Fucking hell my ribs, look at the last track.

Well he's Asian. I don't think he can really be a weaboo.

front row has the balaclavas so seagal won't see any of them trying to contain laughter

is...is he wearing two watches?

> t. Someone with no friends

Thanks fun police

its a CIA thing

Seagal always performs his own stunts no matter how dangerous.

my fucking sides

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he knows magic. thats how hes able to do all his own stunts

post the one where hes edited to move faster

This one?

ahahaha yes thank you

> (OP)
>Anybody seen Richie?
Sticks!

He's taking ambidexterity to a whole new level, son.

Is this real?
Why the fuck is he anywhere near Putin?

thats pretty close, he could have snapped Putins neck if he wanted

He's there to give him bunny ears.

One tells the time, the other counts down to your birthday.

His first 3 or 4 movies were pretty entertaining. Other than that, yeah terrible.

Putin is ex KGB hitman. He could kill any man in less than 5 seconds if he wanted.

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got u covered pham

at that range, Segal could get his mitts around Putins head and its game over in 4 seconds

What the fuck is up with her chest? Is it just perspective?

it will take less than 2 seconds for Putin to notice that someone is attempting to kill him and strike back at the assailant

>ywn be Seagal

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has he ever had a sex scene?

i mean he's that kid who couldnt stop lying about all the amazing things he supposedly does and how he knows hulk hogan and his dad owns a tank and so on
except he's a grown man and stars in movies for some reason

this

explain the punani meme

No, he says he wants to be seen as a badass, not a sex symbol.

That second move is so based, how do I learn it?

The tragedy of this is that Dan Inosanto is actually a great martial artist and a former friend and advisor of Bruce Lee.

confessions of a dangerous mind - Seagull edition when?

Spends years in the KGB and CIA.

Also, make sure you wear your Dude Sex trench coat.

Because Putin is so short itd be very easy for him to dive down and break the grip in a second

Unfortunately for Putin, Steven Seagal is no mere man.

But it's also because of his height that Seagal can just do his patented Seagal Dive and crush him while simultaneously wishing him a happy birthday.

This gets pretty close
youtube.com/watch?v=4E1NFckaDqU

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>dat feel when I studied as a sommelier
THAT'S NOT HOW YOU OPEN A BOTTLE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

But do you know how to whistle?

>"In Asia, you'd be amazed how many people are connected with the agency," Seagal explained one night on the film set in Chicago, where he was fighting off a migraine headache. "A lot of the American military has been over there since the occupation and they've become very connected to the intelligence community.

>"These guys were my students. They saw my abilities, both with martial arts and with the language. My CIA godfather told me he'd never heard any American speak Japanese so well. I would say I was a prime candidate to be recruited."

>"You can say that I lived in Asia for a long time and in Japan I became close to several CIA agents," he said, choosing his words carefully. "And you could say that I became an adviser to several CIA agents in the field and, through my friends in the CIA, met many powerful people and did special works and special favors."

>Seagal declined to offer many details, refusing to cite specific missions or locales. However, when asked about the authenticity of a scene in "Above the Law" that shows an intelligence operative injecting a rival with a deadly chemical truth serum, Seagal said: "That's not made up. That's something that really happened."

BASED

>delusional fat fuck who thinks he's special
user please
you are literally better than him

>fat
>delusional
>autistic
>millionare
>eats what he wants
>thinks he's a sex symbol
>thinks he's a hero
>owns multiple homes
>has sex slaves
>has katana collection
>hangs out with Putin and Lukasenka
>Has no idea that everyone is making fun of him

He's literally living the dream

>Has no idea that everyone is making fun of him

this is embarassing

wow, this was intense.

>he didn't flah zu good

I kek'd at that one.

je looks ridiculous. No self respecting biker would ride an armchair on wheels.

>They saw my abilities, both with martial arts and with the language. My CIA godfather told me he'd never heard any American speak Japanese so well. I would say I was a prime candidate to be recruited.

I got to stand out in the cold and pretend to like this fucking fool. What the fuck is on his coat.

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oh my god

he eats so much

but its all healthy food

>Let me tell you something that might be a bit dangerous. I was raised in Japan. I was schooled in martial arts. I was given the title of master. They take a movie “The Last Samurai.” They have a 5-foot-2-inch little guy, whether he was straight or gay, I don’t know. I don’t care. He had never been to Japan. He doesn’t speak Japanese. He has never held a sword. They make him the Last Samurai. We got 450,000 phone calls [laughs] from everybody in the world saying, “That role was perfect for you. How did that happen?” Most of the people I know didn’t like the film and didn’t go see it. It’s just a classic example of Hollywood and the politics.

>450,000 phone calls

He's a crack shot with a pistol, no bullshit

youtube.com/watch?v=Gn4d-UqPVN4

>aikido
Yes, he's a fraud.

Shit i remember that thread.

nice rings

I guess that explains the hair-in-a-can look he rocks now

youtube.com/watch?v=liIOOTI4-oI

If you can tell me what he says at 0:48 I will give you 5 cans of hairspray and a printscreen of my favorite waifu

>"takes out the next ??????? (Guile?) comes up"