*passes the ball to you*

*passes the ball to you*

C'MON user

But i am grill

*pass the ball back*
Tucaball, bitch.

wogball is gay

>Rolls ball up the back of my leg
>flick the ball up in the air
>turn around
>BICICLETA

Cringe

Just hoof it

>
*lose it*
eh, nothin personnel, teammates

*jump up*
*kick goalie in face*
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY

heh

*does a kickflip*

i-i got it

*scores own-goal*

>match ends 0-1

Next time dont pass the ball to me, punk

*takes a touch*
*gets head up*
*lines up easy 10 yard pass*
*takes eye off ball*
*watches as bouncing, off-target pass results in teammate getting brutally tackled and losing the ball*

*flick it up under my shirt*
*grab the bottom of shirt and hold the ball in*
*walk into the net*

there, solved your dumb sport

>In Argentina
>playing footy with the lads
>some brazilian bros want to join the game
>literally the most embarrassing day of my life

you guys can play, holy

hello foreign.

>slip and fucking die on the grass due to neck snapping
fuck you juan

*gives the ball for your penalty*

DON'T FUCK IT UP user

>*kicks the ball directly into the keeper's hands*
h-heh..
Captcha: Keilor Vargas

kek

I know this feel, I was visiting a friend in Utrecht, Netherlands several years ago, and he plays lower division football there. So he invited me for a game between his bros.

I wasn't even good in school and I was easily the best player on the pitch there, most goals, most assists, most dribbles, most everything.

Most gay

true, you rekt him leaf

stop lying, faggot

>dribble a bit
>opening for a player
>waiting to time the pass so player can go through in complete clear
>parents at touch line
>PASS PASS PASS PASS THE BALL
>pass it earlier than i wanted/needed too
>amounts to nothing

>pass back
>look around for the big cunt up front
>point towards him indicating a big punt down the field so I can get a knock on
>start running towards their goal
>goes out for a gk

*hoof the ball with all my strength towards opposing team goal*

I don't know how to play. I'm a complete "perna de pau"

*picks up the ball*
*runs away while farting*

you now remember when pepe was fun and not ruined by Sup Forumsredditors

>see someone making a run on the other flank
>try to switch the play
>goal kick

Dribble

Take a shot

Miss completely

Say my bad

Hold my leg and pretend to limp a bit so it seems that that is the reason I missed.

Kek

>Look at the ground, shake my head in disbelief and pretend to stamp down some turf
>The pitch is actually in perfect condition
>Cry myself to sleep

Kek

nothing worse than when someone makes these threads and an Amerishart tries to fit in by pretending he played in his youth. fucking cringe

and then the ball clapped

>play causal football with bunch of exchange students 2-3 times a week
>chat with the two brazilian guys
>"you play really good user"

it was the best compliment i've ever had
my footy confidence is perma-boosted now

What if they were just making fun of you, user?

>causal football
I prefer consequential football

Played in a league with a Brazilian team. Literally the dirtiest and unsportsmanlike team ive ever played against. Styled on them and got the shit kicked out of me for it kek

cringe.
This guy predicted it, too

*tears ACL*

>56%

i am usually super resistant to accepting compliments but i know this one was sincere

you guys don't joke about that r-right

lel'd

>playing with the lads
>im average close to bad
>A gf of a friend comes to watch and brings a girl
>I suck so i just dont give a fuck and play normally
>mid game we chat a bit and i say that if i score ill dedicate the goal to her.
>in, 3 minutes and i actually score.
>look at her and wink
We fucked 2 days after. Football literally got me pussy i love the sport.

We do, but if you're actually good at footy they definitely meant the compliment. We tend to be nice to people from other countries

*Toe punts at you*
AVE ITTT

>Colombian friendship

I fucked the friend of the gf not the gf of my lad i would never do such a thing.

>you will never be a Brazillian playing footy with the lads

W-Wes?

Oh. Good lad, then. Good lad.

>I suck so I still don't play footy with the lads

> Join the university law team
> Never start a single game
> play 5 min average every game
> made it to finals
> lot of injuries that day
> "you gotta start user"
> sheeeeit
> pick the ball from a hoof, sprint half the court, shoot and score
> no one is cheering
> "user the ball was out from the start"
> haha yeah

tfw

you are, not to suck your dick but every Brazilian i've met have been friendly af

Nah, you are just mad because we called you fat. But we only do it because you are fat.

>Be in HS
>Girl I like plays soccer
>Eventually get her as my gf
>She eventually plays me for fun
>Never played """football"""
>This'll be a piece of ca-
>Get tackled to the ground and get the ball stolen by gf
>Fuck up my wrist and can't move it
>We stop and she feels horrible about it
>Try to play it off but can't cuz it hurts like fuck
>I pound gf to distract me from the pain
>Go to ER since my wrist is swollen
>Find out I broke my wrist
>Gf breaks up with me a month later for a soccer boy
Bitch broke my wrist and broke my heart

True

Kek

TOP KEK oh poor lad.

>Attempt to kick it
>Get timing wrong
>Ball goes under foot
>Have to awkwardly jog back to get it again

CRINGE

>kids drop ball from the top of a wall
>decide to kick it back for once in my life, instead of throwing it with my hands or ignoring it like a supreme Beta
>mfw it flies right into their hands

LMAO nice one

>when you see the ball coming towards you

>he never played highschool sports
LMFAOOOO that fucking sucks kid

I scored a goal in a tournament for my school once but my dad didn't arrive until second half.

t. nerdy kid with glasses who wasn't allowed to play sport

>be goalkeeper
>team is average
>have 10 shutouts out of 16 season games
>go to states
>win every game 1-0 or 0-0 and in PKs
>win states

Fucking loved that shit. Sucks that you retards couldn't ever even imagine something like this and will call it fake

cringe
British Nostradamus ladies and gents

SeeFunny that a Brit is calling an American a nerd though lmfao you queers all look nerdy as fuck.

I'm gonna play tonight.
2 hours of Futsal.
3 teams of 5 players.
Apparently some of them play very well and I'm old as fuck.
Haven't played in ages.

Wish me luck.

Why would you let a one legged player take the penalty?

>be British, a beaner, or nigger
>think Americans don't have some of the best organized youth sports in the world
>immediatley remember you live in a third world country
Kek

>can't play sports
>because he is too fat
>calls himself human
lmao

cringe again
This man is a prophet.

...

just pace yourself lad

alright i got this

*cuts inside*

>pick up ball
>tuck beneath my arm and run straight at them pretending im Ezekiel Elliott
>stiff arm a few knocking them over
>spin off a few more
>reach the end zone and spike the ball down celebrating my touchdown
>"this isn't rugby mate"
>get pissed and walk off

cringe
This guy is on fire

>poor first touch
>hurry to get it back
>turn around to protect the ball
>pass it backwards because it is the only option left

Sounds like Man Utd lol

>He says as America enters it's 52% year

ITT: Der AmerikANUS gets BTFO

Can you imagine being fat?

>High school cup final
>up 2-0 and cruising,i'm playing particularly well
>misplace 5 yard pass right to an opponent
>lunge in and try to rectify my mistake
>completely take him out and hurt him in the process
>he hobbles off injured and I get a red card for my troubles
>lose 5-2

Minibus home was one of the worst experiences of my life

>kick it as hard as I can downfield
>tell everyone I'm the sweeper and that's what I'm supposed to do

n-no
h-haha

;_;

*passes the ball back*
Y-you too

>spics
>human

>living in Brazil
>considering yourself the same species as Caucasians

Wow lol

Cringe

Also

>British education

LELL

*slips*

>wonder why he kicked the ball to me
>look around nervously
>see some jacked cunt that looks 20 running towards me
>pass ball back to someone who knows what there doing
>go back to standing awkwardly in defense or goalie position trying not to get ball kicked in my face for the rest of the game

>his race is his greatest achievement
>he's still fat

Holy niggers you lost get over it you fucking turbo tumblr faggot

*clears the ball*
I can't dribble and you know it.

>playing some footy
>see a guy free
>kick the ball as hard as i can
>hits him in the face
>he starts crying and goes home
faggot

You do realize soccer is popular as fuck with kids nowadays... Tournaments everywhere.