"Heavy metal is a world of its own and even critics in their 30s who grew up listening to AOR such as Led Zeppelin and...

"Heavy metal is a world of its own and even critics in their 30s who grew up listening to AOR such as Led Zeppelin and Quiet Riot seldom retain a serious affectation for the stuff. Rock intellectuals invariably prefer punk, alternative, even hip-hop and their dissent rankles the metal faithful. The phallic narcissism of metal has few rivals outside of toilet art, X-rated movies, and (oh yes) hip-hop."

"As one of those rock intellectuals, I remain unconverted. It never seems to occur to metal enthusiasts that metal's melodramatic, reverb-drenched strain is precisely what rock and roll was put on Earth to save us from."

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>rock intellectuals

so what age did you guys grow out of metal?

for me it was around 21 when i first managed to find a girlfriend.

>rock intellectuals
Every time.

Yeah Bob, that punk rock is sure the epitome of mature adult values.

>rock intellectuals

>Rock intellectuals

Funny enough my girlfriend got me into metal when I was like 16

Why does christgau suck so much cock and why is scaruffi so based?

Christgau's wife cheated on him and he stayed with her, never forget. Also he rates albums based on what he thinks the artist's sex life is like.

at least Christgau is funny.

I'd take a hundred bland Scaruffi clones over a single cocksucking Christgau.

>rock
>intellectual

>music
>intellectual

im glad that my years of watching rick and morty have elevated my consciousness such to be able to respect this fine gentleman.

Funny because his opinions are laughable. At least scaruffi is right most of the time

>Christgau
entertaining to read, controversial reviews that will spark discussion even if it's at his expense, stirs the pot, no cult like mentality of people copying his taste because it's not about his taste, it's about what he says about the record. Reviews that are meant to supplement listening
>Scaruffi
Dry, autistic reviews, stirs the pot accidentally with his unwarranted pretension, structures music (and, cringe-inducingly, everything else, like his friendships) around defining his taste, has a lot of drones who think he's smart because he desperately needs to look like he is. Reviews that are meant to replace listening

First of all:
>ROCK INTELLECTUALS
Second of all, it's hilarious that a man who regularly praises the dumbest forms of hip hop shits all over metal for being ideologically shallow.

pretty much

and just for fun
>Fantano
superficial reviews meant to make a teenage viewer feel tuned in and cultured, and still feel entertained with all the memes and zany special effects. Taste is irrelevant, because it's for people who are still at the point where they need to be spoonfed; taste is what happens when you happen to know a famous formerly underground band, and Fantano is the dealer

Also he gave a Backstreet Boys album an A.

IOW, Fantano is a typical Millenial critic whose world view was shaped by ebic Internet maymays.

>taking christgau serious
>caring for what critics say at all
why such need for validation from people you don't even know?
Just listen to what you want and that's it

My tastes align with cuckgau very closely yet his writing is still infuriating

all this beat poet cbgb hey man scoobidy dop jive talk shit is really annoying why doesn't he just talk normal

He talks in some ancient hipster dialect from the '60s.

Nice counter arguments my friends.
He's right and you know it.

explain what a Rock expert is then

I never denied the fact that heavy metal is shallow. My point is he's a hypocrite. He dismisses metal for being melodramatic and shallow but loves tons of hip hop and pop that's every bit as melodramatic and shallow as metal.

nigga, just because he validates your opinion doesn't make him right

>(oh yes) hip-hop

This guy seems to be a retard. The hip-hop claim destroyed all the credibility. But the fact that you refuse to see there is a hierarchy of intelligence in type of music created and listened is also retarded as fuck. And don't come with your "there's intelligent" people who are listening metal and shit because it's clueless.

I think he moreso means that music like punk at least represents something political or meaningful, instead of just self-empowerment and narcissism. Don't know if I necessarily agree with what he says, but pretty sure that's the idea.

economical and social status plays a way bigger role, also personal taste is a matter of enjoyment, not intelligence
I know a lot of intelligent people who listens to what this board will consider pleb/shit taste
intelligence play little to no part in music preference

>something (((political))) or meaningful

In other words, mindless kikery
youtube.com/watch?v=M0xK2pbOD24

Idk why im writing this.

Rap - u hav ur good rap.. (12-13%).. rest is just the same beat and tempo with te exact same hihat sound.. +bass hits.. lyrics go like this: money bitches cocain fuck you i am worth more

Pop - u kinda like some of it, but its the same problem as rap.. repetetive/nothing new.. way to much autotune (sounds like a robot cock)..

Metal-too many sub genres.. retarded fanbase.. there is alot of good shit, but people follow trends, and dont want to be one of the guys with 10m long pink hair... also. Way over the top vocals. Either super high screaming or as brutal core shit as it can get.. its bands like: metallica, pantera and dream theater that i listen to..

Rock- 4/4 drums all the time.. i like music with more depth.. ehh, not much more to say rlly..

Country-.. just stay away from it.. jk
.. i kinda get pissed off when people sing like that, bit like.. its kinda unike i guess.. never liked it, most likely never will...

Classical- uhm.. its ok .. some good shit . But i need more..

Jazz- kinda cool funky drums, but its lile 3 different patterns .. so it becomes boring.. im not a fan of jazz. Btw have you chans seen whiplash? Fuckin great movie..

Whyyu do i care.. dlslansnsnsna.. boring..

>economical and social status plays a way bigger role
Are you denying the fact that working class doesn't produce art ? People, since internet have access to everything who ever existed since at least the 30's. I'm sorry to tell you that very few people with a small IQ is enjoying right know Miles Davis (just an example, I don't care about jazz). So actually, some high IQ can enjoy a metal band for some reasons, I can admit it. But retarded people can't enjoy high IQ music (sounds retarded but legit).
>personal taste is a matter of enjoyment
personal taste is not objective.

>rock intellectuals

...

>taste is what happens when you happen to know a famous formerly underground band

…what? Sorry if I don't comprehend, but this just sounds like hipsterism and nonsense. Maybe I'm just not understanding what you mean.

I prefer the term geomancer

Correct

>But retarded people can't enjoy high IQ music
You'd be surprised how much universal appeal great musicians can muster up despite the music's reputation for being "difficult".

Is this a copypasta from Youtube comments or some shit? Because it sounds like it.

most bands/musicians come from working class families
also, if you go for the whole "this genre requires a high IQ to be appreciated" than you're the same that those rick and morty fans
I live in Brazil, a shithole 3º country and most people, intelligent or not, listen to the same thing
My grandfather never passed the fourth grade and he loves bossa nova and MPB, that are higly acclaimed for these types of critics
Music is a matter of taste and how much time you invest on it

>projecting your own childish over-seriousness onto based GAU

>most bands/musicians come from working class families
Most bands are producing a big load of shit.
>My grandfather never passed the fourth grade
It doesn't mean he didn't have a high IQ.

Don't miss my point. I was commenting because people in this thread are masters of relativity. Like all music are the same. It's just a question of taste and education. Yeah, no. Not only.

>You'd be surprised how much universal appeal great musicians can muster up despite the music's reputation for being "difficult".
The Hype always brings a bunch of retards. Doesn't prove nothing.

>I think he moreso means that music like punk at least represents something political or meaningful

youtube.com/watch?v=KMLhAuH93bs

Yeah this is real deep and thought-provoking, isn't it?

Punk politics are usually pretty shallow and clueless anyway.

>retarded people can't enjoy high IQ music
>The Hype always brings a bunch of retards
So they like it. They enjoy it, for whatever reason. So it proves you wrong, buddy.

>cherrypicking
Also stuff like
"There won't be room
For people like me"
while it's not much, it's not just about some fantasy demons or whatever, it's about real life social politics of the day.


I personally think punk is overrated, but cherrypick all you want to make yourself feel better about your underdeveloped opinions.

>while it's not much, it's not just about some fantasy demons or whatever

Most of that is metaphors for social commentary anyway.

My biggest problem with punk is that it's extremely boring to listen to on a record. It's a genre best appreciated live.

is this real

Not all metal is wizards and witches shit anyway, that's only certain genres particularly power metal. There's plenty of people who like the Pantera kind of metal and think power metal is poofy nonsense.

>Most bands are producing a big load of shit.
for some most hip-hop/rap is shit, for others most rock/metal... the list goes on. It's a matter of opinion and taste, little to nothing to do with the intelectual
>It doesn't mean he didn't have a high IQ.
I can guarantee you he's IQ is not nearly coming to high

>Don't miss my point. I was commenting because people in this thread are masters of relativity. Like all music are the same.
Indeed music diverse from one genre to another and are not the same, it doesn't mean however you need a higher IQ or education to enjoy one or the other.
You can be one of the most prolificent musicians and still enjoy what is considered to be garbage, it's personal taste what prevails at the end.

>"all metal is the same and it's garbage"
>prefers punk and hip-hop

Hip Hop is trash but at least its a little bit better than metal. Even Christgau who's a rockfag agrees metal is the worst.

imagine typing this from the special school

>So they like it.
They like the fact they listen something "great" and "superior". They are joining a movement who overpass them. They are taking the social benefice of that music. It doesn't mean they understand and love it.

lmao cuckgau would hate pantera even more. anselmo's too much like the guys that bullied him in high school

>Christgau is likewise married, and has a child, and his wife had an affair while he was going through a midlife crisis, and all of that and more is in the gooey memoir he published earlier this year, Going Into the City. Like his more formalist counterpart Greil Marcus, Christgau’s attitude toward and descriptions of women, and sex, are hugely distracting, even unsettling; a transparent attempt to overcome the sexless impotence of a Rock Writer standing next to their venerated subject.

>If you’ve ever seen Bill Simmons interview an athlete, it’s the same mortifying spectacle: you’re watching an average-looking guy in a blazer try to talk his way into a nightclub. Even if they’re rich or famous enough to get past the velvet rope on status, they will never fit in there. They will never belong in the club, at the after-party, backstage, or on the tour bus, because they will never be cool. If Nick Kent couldn’t pull it off, nobody can. So to the sucking and fucking and “zaftig” masturbation in his book, I’ve got to say, Bob, pull your head in. Nobody wants to know.

for (you)

enjoy this (you)

>dude fuck the government and conformity!!!
Literally every punk album ever, and it was all just shallow platitudes to fit in with a 'scene'. At least albums like Symbolic by Death explore actually interesting themes like loss of childhood innocence and the abuse of authority and power.

>Literally every punk album ever
Don't compare the Punk rock from the late 70's and the punk rock from today please.
Context. jpeg

Underrated

>arguing that metal is bad from a rockist perspective

literally what the fuck.

I have to agree though, metal is basically edgelord shit compared to hard rock music. All of the good metal music is derived from punk music.

I don't think the idea is "thought provoking" though. Because when you look at black flag, it's all about the raw expression of anger. So is most hardcore punk music.

Hardcore punk differs from punk in the sense that a lot of punk tends to be intellectually critical, and a lot of hardcore punk involves a lot more breaking bottles and things like that.

Still this is a more raw form of artistic expression than any meshuggah song, which is methodically dense but lacking in any originality or expression. It literally sounds manufactured by a machine.

I don't know how to say this, but Metallica and Megadeth is just meathead music.

Any good metal tends to be blended with other kinds of textural elements that set themselves apart from pure "metal"

Even black metal is cool because it's supposed to be textural and not just chug chug chug metal.

Ignoring the other tracks

>what I see
>Life of Pain
>damage II

All these tracks are actually quite deep